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6 Steps to Building a Healthy and Stable Relationship with Your Partner

Updated on March 3, 2020
Tory Peta profile image

Tery loves giving self-development and relationship advice; she has helped many people in her personal life achieve their goals.

Relationships can make us very happy, but at the same time they are difficult to maintain because they need constant work and can still have their ups and downs.

But this is not to say that it is not worth investing our time and effort into trying to build something meaningful with a person who also desires it.

Many couples fall apart and it sometimes seems difficult being able to maintain a stable and long-lasting relationship, but it does not have to be like that.

Here are six simple steps to building a healthy and stable relationship with your partner, some reasons that relationships fail, and what you can do about it:

1. Listening and Understanding

Did you know that miscommunication is one of the main reasons for breakups?

Sometimes it is the unsaid things, or the badly said or understood words that can ruin or, at least, harm a relationship.

Work on speaking your thoughts kindly with your partner and sharing information that is important for both of you.

Often, fights start because one person says one thing and their partner interprets it in another way, which can happen to anyone, and can lead to misunderstandings and hurried or false assumptions that can create unnecessary arguments and destabilize the relationship.

This is because all of us have our own unique way of understanding. If you and your partner have a similar way of thinking, it is less likely that you develop misunderstandings.

But if your partner misinterprets your words, and if on top of it, starts making assumptions and becomes emotional, do not heat it up with more emotions, but instead keep calm and try to explain yourself very well so they can understand the message you are really trying to portray.

Do not forget to put yourself in their shoes and try to see the world through their lens because this can help you understand their logic and what makes them react the way they do, but can also make them feel understood.

2. Be More Trusting

Giving trust is not easy for everyone. However, in order for a relationship to work, there needs to be mutual trust. If you have too many doubts and you are questioning everything in your relationship or your partner, problems are more likely to be created between the two of you.

Putting your trust into someone may be difficult, especially if you had lost it before. At the same time, negative experiences should not be the cause for ruining future relationships.

Be trusting towards your partner and, depending on your partner as well, the trust will come back to you. If your partner is not trusting enough, the cause may be either your impact on them: if you have betrayed their trust before; or if you know you are honest enough, but they still do not trust themselves enough to trust others, or have been hurt before.

Remember: Do not force them to trust you, work to earn their trust without expecting in return. People will not give you their trust just because you want it. There needs to be effort and work for earning it.

3. Give Your Partner More Space

This may not seem logical at first because when you are devoted to your partner, you want to show them how much you care about them by being involved with their activities, giving constant affection, etc. This is very normal, we all need to spend time with our partners to demonstrate that we care and value them.

But even this can become too much sometimes. If we start to become too clingy by constantly focusing on our partner, we can unintentionally make them pull away as they feel as if they are losing their freedom and personal space.

Make sure that while you are in a relationship and spend time together, you also live your own lives, meet other people, make time for your hobbies, etc.

This is not to say to ignore your partner because they may wonder why you are suddenly alienating yourself from them and then your relationship would suffer greatly.

Make sure that you have a balance of everything. Simply focus on yourself, your personal goals, give space to your partner so they can do the same, but be affectionate and spend enough time together to maintain the connection.

4. Be Giving, Instead of Demanding.

This is an important step of building a relationship because it is impossible for it to work without mutual giving. And I am not even talking about showering your partner with gifts on a daily basis. It is about giving love, affection, showing appreciation, doing small gestures to show your partner you care about them.

Of course, your partner should be ready to do the same for you if they love you for who you are. If they do not, then their feelings for you may not be authentic, and they might be takers, rather than givers. Or they might simply have difficulties expressing their emotions and showing appreciation, so do not jump to conclusions fast.

If you do not put enough effort into the relationship, it might make your partner feel as if they are the only ones doing the work, which can make it difficult for them.

Remember, unconditional love is giving, not demanding.

5. Value Yourself and Your Boundaries

Before loving anybody else, learn to love yourself. If you do not do this, you are more likely to attract people and relationships into your life that may be less than what you deserve. Be your honest and authentic self from the beginning and do not try to change yourself for your partner because if they truly love you, they will love you just the way you are.

This is also an important part for your relationship, especially during the formation of it. You need to know yourself, to value yourself enough and set clear boundaries from the beginning.

If you feel like you are the only one doing the work in the relationship, but not getting the same treatment back, then you need to reevaluate everything. Make a choice that is better for both of you, even if that means temporarily pausing or permanently ending an unproductive relationship.

6. Be Patient

You two will go through ups and downs. That is inevitable, but the obstacles are not there to separate you, but to make you and your partner learn and teach you how to grow through your mistakes together. Just be patient, good things take time and care.

Now that you know what to avoid and what to do instead, you and your partner can practice these steps and see for yourself that you can ensure a stable and happy relationship.

Of course, what works for one couple, might not work for another, so do not be very strict with this guide, follow your own intuition and mind. In the end, the desired result is balance. If the relationship is balanced and working properly, you will know it without having to worry about anything.

And even if some obstacle arises between you, this should not make you worry, but rather embrace the obstacle together and fight for the relationship.

A little bit of mutual trust, patience and a few other things can help you a lot during your path together. Happy relationship!

© 2020 Tery Peta


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    • Tory Peta profile imageAUTHOR

      Tery Peta 

      6 weeks ago from Bulgaria

      Indeed, communication is highly important in every relationship. Thanks for reading.

    • Eurofile profile image

      Liz Westwood 

      6 weeks ago from UK

      You make some good and sensible key points in this article. Communication has a big role to play in all relationships.

    • Tory Peta profile imageAUTHOR

      Tery Peta 

      6 weeks ago from Bulgaria

      Giving space and time can be difficult for those of us who are not patient, but everything can work well in a relationship if we put more effort. Thank you for reading and for your comment, Eric.

    • Tory Peta profile imageAUTHOR

      Tery Peta 

      6 weeks ago from Bulgaria

      Thank you for your comment, Umesh.

    • Tory Peta profile imageAUTHOR

      Tery Peta 

      6 weeks ago from Bulgaria

      Thank you for commenting, Lorna. I highly agree with you, the work in a relationship is a worthy investment if both sides are involved.

    • Lorna Lamon profile image

      Lorna Lamon 

      6 weeks ago

      You have provided some very important steps to a secure and trusting relationship Tory. In particular, I find the ability to really listen is key to any relationship. However, you will always reap the rewards of what you put in to any relationship - think of it as an investment. An excellent and useful article.

    • bhattuc profile image

      Umesh Chandra Bhatt 

      6 weeks ago from Kharghar, Navi Mumbai, India

      These are some valuable points to follow in our life for a sustaining relationship. Thanks.

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 

      6 weeks ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Great job. Giving space is my favorite here. Sometimes that is just so hard. I like to say listen, listen and listen. My partner I have noticed likes to listen and argue. It took years to figure out her arguing was how she processed and would come back to the same matter much time later.

      I think "time" fits here also.

      Thanks for a fine reminder.


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