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6 Ways to Ruin Relationships Fast

Updated on March 9, 2012

Here are six behaviors that tend to ruin our relationships with others. If you want to drive someone away, try one of these six behaviors. If you want to nurture your relationships, try doing the opposite.

Assume the worst instead of providing support & encouragement
Assume the worst instead of providing support & encouragement | Source

Number 1

Always assume the worst. Constantly accusing your partners, friends and co-workers of malicious actions and harmful intent will ultimately push those you accuse to seek other relationships. No one likes to be doubted, falsely accused, snapped at and thought of in a negative light, especially when they are trying so hard to make you happy. If someone was constantly assuming the worst about you, wouldn't you want to steer clear and find someone else to spend your time with who saw just a little bit of good in you.

Take for granted or show some appreciation
Take for granted or show some appreciation | Source

Number 2

Take people for granted. Treat those close to you like doormats that will always be there for you to use and abuse. Never saying thanks for kind acts or showing your appreciation to those in your life will breed resentment over time. People need to know they are of value and that you appreciate what they add to your life. Automatically assuming that someone will always be there and taking him/her for granted is the quickest way to lose someone.

Nag people to death or accept who they are
Nag people to death or accept who they are | Source

Number 3

Be a nagger. Naggers constantly point out what they don’t like about someone else’s behaviors, life choices, style of dress and more . . .

They never stop pointing out faults, telling you what to do and gripping about what is wrong. If you get to nagging someone all the time, pretty soon there will be no one to nag. People hate to hear constant criticism and will look to surround themselves with people who do anything but criticize.

Let people know that you know it all or have tolerance for difference
Let people know that you know it all or have tolerance for difference | Source

Number 4

Know it All. Know it all behavior discounts the ideas of others and people who are "know it alls" never think that someone else can do anything with competence or in the correct way. They always have an opinion about the proper way to do any task and know every thing about every thing, stifling the creativity and enthusiasm of those around them. People want to have their ideas and skills counted and discounting them will make people avoid you and your know it all ways.

Go around breaking trust or have honor in your relationships
Go around breaking trust or have honor in your relationships | Source

Number 5

Break trust often. Sure, everyone lets someone down or breaks a promise and has to say sorry and make amends to earn that trust back. Habitual trust beakers are people who constantly show that they can not be trusted and destroy any faith in their ability to be dependable, honorable and true to their word. Relationships without trust are hardly worth having and lead to a history of hurt feelings and bitterness.

Act needy or be a complete person
Act needy or be a complete person | Source

Number 6

Overly Needy. Nothing turns people off more than being constantly in need and being unable to stand on your own two feet. I am talking about being emotionally needy, smothering and clingy to those around you. Neediness is characterized by excessive phone calls, texting, emails and all around stalker-ness ~ demanding attention at every turn. Relationships take time and space to grow. Excessive neediness turns people off.


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    • profile image


      4 years ago

      Great article with some very good advise on relationships. Thank you for sharing your knowledge. Jealousy and domination is another thing that bothers me.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      A well-approached hub and so clearly mentioned points that ruin a relationship without one even noticing their faults.

    • truthfornow profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago from New Orleans, LA

      Nice that you recognized your ways and make a change ~ that is something to be proud of because so many do not. Thanks a lot for your comment.

    • Kasman profile image


      5 years ago from Bartlett, Tennessee

      I really liked this hub. It reminded me of me several years ago. I was the one who would constantly be negative and thinking the worst of a situation or a person.....even sometimes people I trusted. I lost a few friends over this and I realized I needed a change. When I met The Lord, my heart became a lot more positive. Now I do my best to cultivate friendships and relationships. I think you've labeled your facts right definitely and the research is sound! Voting this one up truth.

    • truthfornow profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from New Orleans, LA

      Thanks Earthy Mother. I am glad you liked my article.

    • Earthy Mother profile image

      Earthy Mother 

      6 years ago from South East England

      This is an insightful and intelligent Hub - I've come to realise these negative qualities in myself at times and have fought to rein them in...I look forward to reading more of your work!

    • truthfornow profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from New Orleans, LA

      Good points paxwill ~ it does take all kinds. I have seen many people as you describe that are happy with those power dynamics. Thanks for contributing to my article and making it better.

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      Interesting article, but I don't agree that excess neediness or being a know-it-all/boss is necessarily friendship killer. There are lots of people who form symbiotic relationships where one person is in constant emotional need and the other is more domineering, constantly dispensing advice.

      To the outside world, this may seem like an unhealthy bond with a power imbalance, but for the individuals involved, it is a mode that works. I've seen friendships and marriages like this that have really stood the test of time, even though logic would dictate that such "unhealthy" relationships cannot last. Relationships often defy logic.

      Some people would rather find someone with complementing personality flaws than change their own personality to a more socially acceptable one. It takes all kinds I guess.

    • truthfornow profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from New Orleans, LA

      Yeah, we often know what to do but get lazy about it. Appreciate your comments HowToLoveOne!

    • HowToLoveOne profile image

      Joshua Pine 

      6 years ago from San Francisco

      Awesome graphix! I'm a big fan of simplicity... it really helps to drive a point home. Let's face it, the steps to making a relationship work are simple even if they can be difficult to execute. Good hub

    • truthfornow profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from New Orleans, LA

      Your are pretty funny michiganman567! Thanks for stopping by.

      Thanks teaches12345. I think we all learn the hard way and yes this list applies to all our relationships, including friendships. All relationships have to be nurtured and not taken for granted.

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 

      6 years ago

      I would consider these six to be really important in keeping relationships balanced. Back in my early twenties I took relationships for granted and learned that people need assurance more than assumptions in friendships. Great write up on ideas that will help bring balance in life. Your photos enhance the topic ... love visuals!

    • michiganman567 profile image


      6 years ago from Michigan

      I think that you hit them all, but I bet that someone else knows a few more. pfft.. know it all's.


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