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Updated on September 9, 2010

It seems like for every single man or single woman, there is an online gay dating site. There are literally hundreds of gay dating services all claiming to do the same thing…and many of have used several of them. Perhaps you've used or or perhaps you checked out a dating review site like

Perhaps you're not heterosexual, maybe you’re gay? How is one to know which gay dating service to use? There is,,,, and many others.

Whether you're on a straight or gay dating site, one thing you have in common is this question 'how do I get responses?'. I myself have been on and it took me a long time to figure out how to get a guy to respond. I'm a decent looking gay guy and you can bet the photos on my personal ad are the best I have, but for some reason I was only getting minimal responses.

I realized that I needed to look at my profile like another member would and do some self-evaluation. Here are 7 quick things you must consider when you are editing your personal ad:

1. Am I presenting myself as a good match in the LONG TERM, or does it sound like I'm just looking for a quick fling? You need to think about what you're looking for - if its just physical action you want say that, if you're looking for something more don't be shy to say that.

2. Is my profile just like everyone else's? If so you're not going to get many responses. Try to have the attitude of 'I don't care what other people think, I'm going to be real' and make that apparent on your

3. Be specific! Don't just say 'I like to go out and on other nights stay in and watch a movie'. I've got news for you, so does everyone else! Instead tell them your details - write in your profile WHERE you like to go out (chances are other singles will know the same spots in your area) and what kind of movies you like.

4. Does the site allow you to communicate? Most gay dating sites will require you to pay some sort of recurring fee to send or receive messages like whereas others allow you to send messages free like on for the gay community and for the straight community. Does the site provide INSTANT communication tools like straight webchat or in my case gaychat? If not, you might need to find another site. The reason is because many of the most exciting and rewarding meetings on a gay dating site is via instant messenger. I don't know if its because there something special about a spontaneous meeting, something romantic. Just make sure your site has this.

5. When making any kind of contact whether its sending a message to another user or responding to one, make sure you reference what is in their profile.

6. Don't be shy about adding a member to your 'favorites' list. Yeah, yeah you heard it makes you look desperate. Forget that! It lets someone know you're interested and that's the point.

7. HOW ABOUT YOUR PICTURES? This is by far the most important element of any dating profile. Never put up a profile without a pic. This is the most deadly of sins. In fact, my recommendation is to make sure you upload as many pictures as you can, showing as many different emotions as possible. The reason is because this is how you will let your potential match who you really are and let's face it, looks matter. That doesn't mean you need to be Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie, it means you need to show people what you look like because I guarantee you, there is someone out there that will think you're attractive. So be honest and don't set false expectations.

So in conclusion, be yourself, be specific, don't worry so much about what other people might think of you - be honest, make sure the gay dating site your on has the right communication tools that allow you to make instant contact and last but definitely not least, let your pictures speak a thousand words!

If you follow these 7 tips, I guarantee you will get responses...and you might even find love:)

Gay Dating Tips
Gay Dating Tips


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    • misterhollywood profile image

      John Hollywood 3 years ago from Hollywood, CA

      Good, practical advice. I voted up. Thanks for sharing!

    • profile image

      MDG 4 years ago

      It takes a lot of luck in finding the "RIGHT GUY." I have tried many sites with out succes and I have done all of the so call "7 SECRETS" plus more. It's one thing to be honest but it's going over board by indicating the size of your "DICK" first and how long you can fuck all night; indoors or out. Indicating that your a top, bottom or sideways and frankly I really don't care. I would like to first know who you really are what you fell inside and do we have something in common beside screwing! I understand that's sex is part of a relationship but in my book that comes second. If I wanted to get laid and nothing else there's plenty of those kind out there . I want a long term relationship not a long term biology class of the human anatomy on my first date.

    • profile image

      John Dow 5 years ago


      A few months ago i was planning to start my own gay dating site. I compiled over 10,000 gay male personnel email addresses through an opt in system with details of name, location and email addresses. I have since abandoned the idea and have decided to sell my email list and im just wondering if your company is interested in this exclusive list. This email list will definitely guarantee a couple of sales for your business whether its membership, services and products. If you fail to get at least 10 sales from this list Im happy to fully refund you. Im also happy for you to look at the list or test the list before you make any payment- and I guarantee you wont be disappointed.

      Could you please let me know what you are prepared to pay for this list. Im flexible with regards to prices. The email list has not been offered to anyone else and is the only product on the market.


      John Dow

    • profile image 5 years ago

      Aside from a great photo and catchy profile intro, use your charm and wits with your reply. Be interesting enough and don't give away too much information- safety comes first. Well, the tips you have given work practically for any other dating site, so good job there.

    • profile image

      Jacob 7 years ago

      I think the best gay dating site (and I think they even offer lesbian dating now too) is ( I found my perfect match on in like 2 months. We are still together... a year later.

    • profile image

      Gay actors 7 years ago

      Its a good idea that really works. Possibly pictures at the end put better impact

    • kappa02 profile image

      kappa02 9 years ago

      Why just gay dating, this can be applied quite successfully to any type of dating site. Great article.

    • alocsin profile image

      alocsin 9 years ago from Orange County, CA

      Interesting that you put pictures as the last secret. I would think that would be the most important point in an online dating service. Good article!