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7 Reasons Women Breakup With Men

Updated on May 14, 2020

Top Reasons Women Break Up With Men

It can be a bit confusing, not to mention heartbreaking when your partner of several months to a few years breaks up with you. The relationship had been going great in your opinion, which is why this breakup, which came out of the blues, would confuse you greatly.

While a breakup hits both partners hard, especially if you were deeply emotionally invested in it, research has shown that men are a lot more surprised by a spontaneous breakup. A woman, not much so, as she'd have seen the signs from miles off and expected the breakup sooner or later.

A breakup that occurs when both parties have had a huge falling out or have been having a series of misunderstanding is somewhat understandable, what is surprising is breaking up when you both have been having a time of relative peace and calm

Being broken up with can be one of the toughest times in our lives. You might be left wondering how to win back her or when would be the right time to do so without coming across as clingy or broken.

Most relationships do not just breakup suddenly. There are always pointers to the fact all is not well with it.

Most times, if we'd only take the time to look closely at it, we'd be able to mend the cracks before they cause a huge split.

As a woman, I have been broken up with. I have also initiated a few of these breakups when I it looked like the relationship had lived its course and was heading no where. I also have a few girlfriends and, from sharing secrets and trading experiences, have come to discover a few of the most common reasons women initiate breakup with their partners.

Many women put a lot of effort into making their relationship work, and sometimes they'd like the man to show some appreciation. If you went a long time without playing your part in the relationship, this might have contributed to the breakup.

Here are Five of Reasons Why This Happens

1. They Were Looking for a Little Bit of Excitement and Got Carried Away

One of the most common reasons why women (and also men) break up with their partners is the fact they are looking for a bit of excitement outside.

No matter how exciting a relationship started out; how the sparks flew and the chemistry sizzled, it get to a point where you both become comfortable with each other and this can be boring to a few women.

Some women will temporarily stray (not breakup completely) as they look to test the waters outside. She goes out there looking for that bit of excitement she feels is missing from the relationship.

Some do not cheat outrightly or mean to; a little "harmless" date here and an emotional connection to a friend or colleague is all they mean to achieve. However, things soon spiral out of control and they end up straying.

So if your breakup is one you can't find the reason to, this just might explain it.

Thankfully, quite a number of these women soon realize their mistake and try to make their way back. If they are lucky, their little act is forgiven otherwise, they end up losing a guy that truly loved them.

2. They feel Under Appreciated

As women, our make-up is one that makes us crave affection and appreciation. Women like to know they are loved and appreciated by their partner. If you went a while without taking the time to show your woman how much she means to you and how you value presence, you might have unknowingly contributed to the breakup.

Most men claim their woman knows they love her which makes repeating it often unnecessary. However, failing to repeat this is starving your relationship of that important ingredient it needs to thrive and soon, it will wither and die.

You can guard against this by understanding affection and care are two key needs of every woman and try to give these often. You might also take it a step further and find out what your woman's exact love language is and love her just the way she wants to be loved.

3. They Feel Ignored

If she isn't the center if your world, something else is and she knows it. While a woman might stay and try to win your love, she must likely won't be willing to compete forever with your career, hobby or anything else you have given priority over her.

Quite often, small reminders like a phone call, texts and flowers help show this love and makes her feel special. If you have neglected to make her feel this way, don't be surprised when she wakes up one fine morning and decides to pull away.

4. They Believe the Grass is Greener on the Other Side

Most people have - and still do- fallen prey to the "grass is greener on the other side" syndrome. It is easy to look at the next couples and believe they look happier, more attractive and more exciting.

Sometimes, a woman might dream about being single again or about dating a new man. Of course, often when some women breakup with their longtime partner, it is not long before realize their mistake and start they are pining for their ex.

Upon becoming single, they go over to that greener spot, but soon come to realize that things only appeared greener on the outside and the very couple they envied from afar, while actually happy, will have their own sets of challenges.

5. The Breakup is a Way to Get Your Attention

For most women, they initiate breakup or might threaten to break up as a way to get your attention.

While this might be extreme, all they are trying to do is get their man to pay a little more attention to them, or to treat them better.

If your partner is guilty of this, don't be upset because, while this practice is not exactly recommended, it actually does achieve the purpose for which it was intended.

Also, you should never ignore these threats because behind her actions is likely a woman who truly is prepared to breakup and walk away for good if the situation doesn't change.

Here are Two More Reasons Women Breakup with Men

These two reasons have been separated because from experience they are somewhat differ and cause the most pain.

6. You Cheated on Her

No one likes to be cheated on and certainly not women. Being cheated on causes a lot of pain that can throw you into a dark spot.

A lot of thoughts go through your mind at this time and you'll find yourself questioning your worth.

A woman will consider breaking up with you if you cheated on her, especially if you're a repeat offender.

To guard against this, you might want to put yourself in her shoes and wonder how you would feel if the tables were turned.

7. You Want Her to Breakup with You

A few men get tired of their partner but hang on in the hopes she will read between the lines and initiate the breakup herself.

What you fail to realize though, is that you're causing her more pain by sticking around when you clearly don't love her anymore.

A fairer option, would be to calmly and as painlessly as possible, breakup with her. Of course, she would be hurt and might even lash out at you, but in the long run, you'd have done the more respectable thing and with time, she will get over the pain of the breakup.


If your woman is about to initiate a breakup with you or if she already has and this doesn't sit well with you, then you can get working and try to stop or reverse this.

Also, not all breakups are real or lasting as there have been situations that turned out to be just a wakeup call.

You can manage the situation and repair any potential crack before it escalates.

Your partner just might be ready and willing to work on the relationship. You both should work together to identify what works and what doesn't.

Learn to love her the way she wants and also teach her to love you in a way that would mean something to you.

© 2019 Farrah Young


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    • Isivwe Muobo profile imageAUTHOR

      Farrah Young 

      4 weeks ago from Lagos, Nigeria

      Thanks I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.

    • Trooly profile image

      Mose Adam Truett 

      5 months ago

      wow this is very educative

    • dashingscorpio profile image


      16 months ago from Chicago

      You said: "The majority will cheat to have fun"

      This would imply that they are NOT having fun in their relationship which falls in line with my idea of seeking something to (compliment) what they already have.

      Maybe their current relationship has the important "meat and vegetables" but it's lacking {dessert}.

      Actually I believe there are three basic types of cheaters

      The Incessant/Serial Cheater

      This person has never been faithful in any long-term relationship. They get bored very easily and are always looking for the thrill/FUN that comes with being with someone NEW. For them monogamy is like going on a strict diet. It's not a matter of (if) they will cheat but (when). Their motto: Variety is the spice of life!

      The Unbelievable Opportunity Cheater

      This person is not "proactively" looking to cheat. They may have a secret crush or fantasy about a co-worker, stranger they see at Starbucks, anyplace or even an ex. One day this other person hits on them or flirts with them thereby making it possible to turn a fantasy into reality. If the would be cheater's mate is out of town or otherwise not likely to find out....They may cave in to temptation!

      Note: Sometimes this type of cheater will confess weeks, months, or years later to absolve themselves of guilt they been carrying.

      The Discontented Cheater

      This person blames YOU! Essentially if you hadn't done or stopped doing whatever they would have never stepped outside of the relationship. Ironically this type of cheater is often forgiven by the betrayed person if they truly believe they are responsible for their partner wanting to be with someone else. It also makes it easier for them to "save face" with friends and family by shouldering some of the blame when they decide to stay after claiming cheating was an automatic "deal breaker".

      In their mind if it happened because of (them) they can prevent it from happening (again). However the truth is the "individual" {chooses} to be monogamous or cheat.

      No one (forces) anyone to cheat.

      A lot of people also cheat in order to (stay) or (tolerate) unhappy relationships/marriages. The cost of starting over is too much. Essentially the 'benefits" of staying outweigh walking away.

      Imagine a 45 year old married man with three children whose wife has gone through menopause and has no desire to have sex. They've had discussions, tried some things, and so on.

      From his point of view he feels he has three options.

      1. Accept the fact his sex life is over.

      2. Run down to the courthouse to file for divorce, move out of his home into a one bedroom condo, pay child support/alimony, become a weekend date, divide friends/family who likely will choose sides...

      3. Find a woman who does want to have sex with him.

      Most cheaters don't expect to get caught so they choose #3

    • Isivwe Muobo profile imageAUTHOR

      Farrah Young 

      16 months ago from Lagos, Nigeria

      Hi dashingscorpio, thanks taking the time to read and your comment.

      You are so right in that youth and immaturity is also one of the reasons people breakup.

      While a few very young people do get married to their high school or college sweethearts, a lot don't and will experience a series of breakups before finding that one that compliments them the most.

      As for cheating being done by mos people to compliment what they already have, I dont believe that to be true.

      Only a few people who cheat do so for that reason. The majority will cheat to have fun, if they fall out of love with their partner, as a means of revenge, or if they are sexually or emotionally unfulfilled.

      Some people dont quit see leaving a relationship as the first option, especially if the relationship has been good and only just developed a few challenges.

      Some believe that sometimes, staying back to fight for your love, is a way better option than starting a new one, knowing it will have its own set of challenges which will become visible after the initial euphoria wears off.

    • dashingscorpio profile image


      16 months ago from Chicago

      I believe youth and immaturity play a major role as well. Lets face most people are not going to meet their "soulmate" in their teens or in their 20s for the most part. Breakups were bound to happen.

      In the U.S. it's been reported the average person loses their virginity by age 17 and the average age of a first time bride is 27 and it's 29 for grooms. Essentially that's over 10 years of active sexual experience for the "average person" prior to marriage and odds are they are not going to marry their high school sweetheart!

      A lot of people don't married until they're in their early/mid 30s.

      It's no wonder parents laugh at their 15 year old kids who profess their love for their boyfriend/girlfriend. They know they have yet to figure who (they) are let alone know what they want/need in a mate for life. It's the equivalent of going shopping without a list!

      Therefore any young person who expects to live out the "fairytale" is setting them self up for heartache or disappointment.

      Whatever makes for an "ideal mate" at age 17, 19, or 21 is not likely going to cut it for you when you're age 25, 30, or beyond.

      There are three basic reasons why couples split up.

      1. They chose the wrong mate. (They're too incompatible.)

      2. A "deal breaker" was committed in the eyes of one of them.

      3. They fell out of love/stopped wanting the same things.

      As for cheating most people who cheat are not looking to replace one relationship with another. They want to "compliment" what they already have. Their goal is hold onto all that is "good" in their relationship while addressing their other "needs" on the side.

      Had they been truly unhappy they would have dumped their mate.

      Of course there are some of those who treat relationships like jobs. They won't leave one unless they have another one lined up.


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