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7 Reasons Women Breakup With Men

Updated on March 2, 2019

Top Reasons Women Break Up With Men

If your wife or girlfriend has recently left you or is thinking of breaking up with you, you might find yourself confused, wondering what went wrong.

Men are particularly surprised by a breakup when everything seemed to have been going so well. Sure, the two of you may have had your ups and downs, or currently be going through a rough patch, but then again, what couple doesn't? Is there a relationship out there that doesn't have a little bump along the ride?

If your breakup happened during a time of relative peace and calm in your relationship, your partner's desire to breakup may be particularly surprising.

Being broken up with can be one of the toughest times in our lives. You are left wondering what went wrong or more importantly - how you didn't see it coming and what you could have done to prevent it?

You might also wonder how to get her back; what strategies to use and when would be the perfect time to do so without coming across as clingy or worse, broken.

Sometimes someone we love just out of the blues breaks up with us. This leaves us confused, wondering what went wrong.

There are always pointers to the fact all is not well with a relationship and we can always get to see this if we only look closely.

As a woman, I have had my fair share of breakups. I have also initiated a few when I felt the relationships were heading nowhere. I also have a few girlfriends and, from sharing secrets and trading experiences, have come to discover a handful of reasons women breakup with men.

Many women work very hard to make their relationship work, and occasionally they like the man to show a little appreciation through small gestures. If you went a long time without doing this, this might have contributed to the breakup.

Here are Five of Such Reasons

1. They Were Looking for a Little Bit of Excitement and Got Carried Away

Sometimes women stray temporarily from their man when trying to test the waters outside of the safe harbor of their relationship.

When a relationship is so safe that it is boring, many women feel like they are missing out on that sense of excitement they feel a relationship should have. This might make her decide to flirt with another man or even go out on a "harmless" date with him. One thing leads to another and she suddenly starts to fall for the new guy. Not because he is any better - but mainly because he is just someone new, different and exciting.

So if you experience a breakup you can't find the reason to, this just might explain it.

Luckily, most of these women carried realize their mistake on time and try to make their way back. However, most times its often too late and they end up missing out on the guy that truly loved them

2. They feel Under Appreciated:

Women also like to feel appreciated by the man they are with. Many women work very hard to make their relationship work, and occasionally they like the man to show a little appreciation through small gestures. If you went a long time without showing appreciation to your woman this might have contributed to the breakup.

Women need attention and if she feels you aren't attending to her needs, she may likely initiate this breakup to go seek the attention somewhere else.

To guard against this, understand affection and care are basic needs for a woman and try to give these often. You might also want to find out your woman's own unique love language and love her the way she wants.

3. They Feel Ignored:

Women love to know they are the center of your universe; they want to know that the men in their lives care deeply about them.

Often, simple reminders like flowers or small gifts help women feel this love and care. If you have neglected to make her feel this way, her pulling away from you may be a result of that.

4. They Think the Grass is Greener on the Other Side

We have all - men and women alike - fallen prey to the "grass is greener on the other side" syndrome. It is so easy to look at other couples, other people, and feel they seem happier, more attractive, more normal, more exciting, more . . . well, you get the picture.

Sometimes, a woman might fantasize about being single again or about dating a particular man. Of course, often when women breakup with their longtime companion, it is not long before they are pining for that special person again.

When they become single and head over to that greener spot, they come to realize that things only appeared greener on the outside and the same couple they envied from afar, while actually happy, might have their own unique sets of challenges.

The way forward then, would be to encourage her to water her own lawn. You also should do everything within your power to water the lawn so it gets so lush and green, it becomes the envy of others.

5. The Breakup is a Way to Get Your Attention

Sometimes a woman may breakup or threaten to break up but all they are really doing is signaling for help.

In these cases, they want their man to pay more attention to them, treat them better, or act more lovingly. They may breakup temporarily or say they are going to as sort of a call to be treated better.

If your partner is guilty of this, don't be upset because, while not exactly recommended, this practice actually does work sometimes.

Also, you should never ignore her because behind her actions is likely someone who truly is prepared to breakup for good and walk away if the situation doesn't change.

Here are Two More Reasons Women Breakup with Men

These two reasons have been separated because from experience they are somewhat different and cause the most pain.

6. You Cheated on Her

No one likes being cheated on and certainly not women. Being cheated on is a very painful experience that can throw you into a dark spot.

A lot of thoughts and emotions would run through your mind and you'll find yourself questioning your worth.

A woman is most likely going to breakup with you if you cheated on her, especially if you're a repeat offender.

To guard against this, you might want to put yourself in her shoes and wonder how you would feel if the tables were turned.

7. You Want Her to Breakup with You

A few men get tired of a relationship but hang on, tired of causing their partner pain by initiating a breakup.

What you fail to realize though, is that you're causing her more pain by sticking around when you clearly don't live her anymore.

A fairer option, would be to calmly and as painlessly as possible, breakup with her. Of course, she would be hurt and might even lash out at you, but in the long run, you'd have done the more respectable thing and with time, she will get over the pain of the breakup.


If you think your woman is about to breakup with you - or if she already has - and this is not something you want, do not fret as the situation may not be as bad as you think.

There have been a few situations that turned out to be just a wakeup call.

Also, you you should know that you can manage a situation and nip any potential breakup in the bud before it actually does happen.

Women are always willing to talk, you just have to be ready to listen; pay attention to her words and effect the changes she wants.

You should understand also that while you might actually be showing her love, if you aren't doing it the way she ways, then sadly, it's considered you aren't doing anything.

There are five love languages out there. Find out hers and love her exactly the way she wants. Do this and watch the woman you love glow in happiness at your actions.

© 2019 Farrah Young


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    • dashingscorpio profile image


      6 months ago

      You said: "The majority will cheat to have fun"

      This would imply that they are NOT having fun in their relationship which falls in line with my idea of seeking something to (compliment) what they already have.

      Maybe their current relationship has the important "meat and vegetables" but it's lacking {dessert}.

      Actually I believe there are three basic types of cheaters

      The Incessant/Serial Cheater

      This person has never been faithful in any long-term relationship. They get bored very easily and are always looking for the thrill/FUN that comes with being with someone NEW. For them monogamy is like going on a strict diet. It's not a matter of (if) they will cheat but (when). Their motto: Variety is the spice of life!

      The Unbelievable Opportunity Cheater

      This person is not "proactively" looking to cheat. They may have a secret crush or fantasy about a co-worker, stranger they see at Starbucks, anyplace or even an ex. One day this other person hits on them or flirts with them thereby making it possible to turn a fantasy into reality. If the would be cheater's mate is out of town or otherwise not likely to find out....They may cave in to temptation!

      Note: Sometimes this type of cheater will confess weeks, months, or years later to absolve themselves of guilt they been carrying.

      The Discontented Cheater

      This person blames YOU! Essentially if you hadn't done or stopped doing whatever they would have never stepped outside of the relationship. Ironically this type of cheater is often forgiven by the betrayed person if they truly believe they are responsible for their partner wanting to be with someone else. It also makes it easier for them to "save face" with friends and family by shouldering some of the blame when they decide to stay after claiming cheating was an automatic "deal breaker".

      In their mind if it happened because of (them) they can prevent it from happening (again). However the truth is the "individual" {chooses} to be monogamous or cheat.

      No one (forces) anyone to cheat.

      A lot of people also cheat in order to (stay) or (tolerate) unhappy relationships/marriages. The cost of starting over is too much. Essentially the 'benefits" of staying outweigh walking away.

      Imagine a 45 year old married man with three children whose wife has gone through menopause and has no desire to have sex. They've had discussions, tried some things, and so on.

      From his point of view he feels he has three options.

      1. Accept the fact his sex life is over.

      2. Run down to the courthouse to file for divorce, move out of his home into a one bedroom condo, pay child support/alimony, become a weekend date, divide friends/family who likely will choose sides...

      3. Find a woman who does want to have sex with him.

      Most cheaters don't expect to get caught so they choose #3

    • Isivwe Muobo profile imageAUTHOR

      Farrah Young 

      6 months ago from Nigeria

      Hi dashingscorpio, thanks taking the time to read and your comment.

      You are so right in that youth and immaturity is also one of the reasons people breakup.

      While a few very young people do get married to their high school or college sweethearts, a lot don't and will experience a series of breakups before finding that one that compliments them the most.

      As for cheating being done by mos people to compliment what they already have, I dont believe that to be true.

      Only a few people who cheat do so for that reason. The majority will cheat to have fun, if they fall out of love with their partner, as a means of revenge, or if they are sexually or emotionally unfulfilled.

      Some people dont quit see leaving a relationship as the first option, especially if the relationship has been good and only just developed a few challenges.

      Some believe that sometimes, staying back to fight for your love, is a way better option than starting a new one, knowing it will have its own set of challenges which will become visible after the initial euphoria wears off.

    • dashingscorpio profile image


      6 months ago

      I believe youth and immaturity play a major role as well. Lets face most people are not going to meet their "soulmate" in their teens or in their 20s for the most part. Breakups were bound to happen.

      In the U.S. it's been reported the average person loses their virginity by age 17 and the average age of a first time bride is 27 and it's 29 for grooms. Essentially that's over 10 years of active sexual experience for the "average person" prior to marriage and odds are they are not going to marry their high school sweetheart!

      A lot of people don't married until they're in their early/mid 30s.

      It's no wonder parents laugh at their 15 year old kids who profess their love for their boyfriend/girlfriend. They know they have yet to figure who (they) are let alone know what they want/need in a mate for life. It's the equivalent of going shopping without a list!

      Therefore any young person who expects to live out the "fairytale" is setting them self up for heartache or disappointment.

      Whatever makes for an "ideal mate" at age 17, 19, or 21 is not likely going to cut it for you when you're age 25, 30, or beyond.

      There are three basic reasons why couples split up.

      1. They chose the wrong mate. (They're too incompatible.)

      2. A "deal breaker" was committed in the eyes of one of them.

      3. They fell out of love/stopped wanting the same things.

      As for cheating most people who cheat are not looking to replace one relationship with another. They want to "compliment" what they already have. Their goal is hold onto all that is "good" in their relationship while addressing their other "needs" on the side.

      Had they been truly unhappy they would have dumped their mate.

      Of course there are some of those who treat relationships like jobs. They won't leave one unless they have another one lined up.


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