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7 Relationship Killers

Updated on June 8, 2011

What not to do in a relationship

Anyone who’s single, dating and looking for “the one” knows how difficult it can be. The wide variety of online dating sites and services is proof positive that you’re not alone. According to recent census bureau statistics, there are 104 million unmarried Americans over the age of 18, representing 45% of the population. On the upside, this means you have a large dating pool to choose from. On the downside, it also means you have a lot of competition. And, the dating pool can also be full of pitfalls, hazards and sharks. Devoting time and effort to finding true love is often difficult, sometimes making the search for a mate feel a little like searching for a job. Realizing someone isn’t right early on becomes important. The following is a short list of reasons to give some serious thought to a relationship. If you recognize someone it might be time to give them the boot. If you recognize yourself you might want to think about changing your ways, unless your idea of a happy future is living in your mom’s basement with a bunch of cats. Feel free to add your own.

1. Calling you by someone else’s name. Some relationship experts claim this could mean someone is so enamored with you, he/she is going back in time mentally and is quite possibly thinking you might be “the one”. Hogwash. It puts a damper on a relationship when a partner calls you by an ex’s name, particularly if it takes place in the sack. It also might mean he or she is not quite over a past love.

2. Talking too much about an ex. Whether it’s in a good way or bad way, talking about an ex or ex’s is a no-no. It shows that you’re not over so and so and you’re looking for someone to listen to your former relationship woes. If that’s the case, step back and take some time to heal first or get a therapist to listen to you trash your former love. Unless specifically asked, leave the ex factor out of the conversation.

3. Checking out other people while on a date. This is a common pet peeve. It’s disrespectful, plain and simple. No one expects you to be totally oblivious to the hot blonde at the next table and a passing glance is forgivable. But when you ogle and practically drool you’ve gone too far. Blatant eye-wandering might signify someone who’ll be continually looking for greener pastures.

4. Getting too frisky too soon. This isn’t the 80’s, not everyone is hopping into bed on the first date. If a guy (or girl) goes straight for the goods the first night there’s nowhere to go from there. A relationship based on sex isn’t sustainable, unless of course you have a mutually agreed upon friends with benefits relationship. And these types of relationships are destructive for several reasons. Wait awhile, get to know each other and be sure you’re compatible outside of the bedroom first.

5. Expecting the woman to pay. Holy cow, really? It’s encouraging to know men are beginning to see women as equals, but asking a woman out on a date and then expecting her to foot the bill or even pay her share is insulting. Man up and pay the bill. If you’re looking for a free meal go to your mother’s house for dinner. Ladies, if a guy is a cheapskate straight out of the gate, is it really going to get any better? No.

6. Being controlling or overly jealous. If it’s gotten to the point where someone could be classified as a stalker it’s time to put on the brakes. Too many calls and texts “just to see what you’re up to”, prying questions about your Facebook friends and unexpected drop-ins at home or work might signal a jealous, suspicious partner. Proceed with caution. Controlling, manipulative partners can often turn out to have some even more disturbing traits.

7. Spending too much time on the cell phone. Checking tweets and status updates or texting while on a date is rude. You’re giving the impression the other person is not interesting or worthy of your time and you’re bored. Put the phone away, turn it off and show your date you’re more interested in him or her than you are with your angry birds.

Keeping the lines of communication is important in any relationship

Of course some people are single by choice for a variety of reasons. And just because you see yourself or someone you know in the list above doesn't mean all is lost. The key to any good and lasting relationship is open communication. It's always a good idea to talk things over and get it out in the open. You can't fix a problem if you don't know one exists.


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    • lovesleftovers profile image

      lovesleftovers 5 years ago from Texas

      Thanks so much for the comment and compliment, B!

    • B. Leekley profile image

      Brian Leekley 5 years ago from Kalamazoo, Michigan, USA

      Those seem to be good, common sense tips.

    • lovesleftovers profile image

      lovesleftovers 5 years ago from Texas

      Thanks HowToLoveOne! Glad you liked the article :)

    • HowToLoveOne profile image

      Joshua Pine 5 years ago from San Francisco

      So true! Can you please tell my girlfriend about #7! What happened to this new generation, they have no respect at the dinner table.

    • Abby Lysach profile image

      Abby Lysach 6 years ago from Singapore

      wooo... been through on 5, 6, and 7... Reading this hub, feels like dejavu ;-)

      well, anyway, it's all done right when I've made my decision five years ago... and now I live in peace with my beloved family. ;-)

      Nice hub!

    • Aly Ameziane profile image

      Aly Ameziane 6 years ago from MOrocco

      i guess the fifth and sixth are the most reasonable advices

    • lovesleftovers profile image

      lovesleftovers 6 years ago from Texas

      Thanks so much for the kind comments Bretsuki! Yes, even some hubbies can be cheapskates. Not mine of course :)

    • Bretsuki profile image

      William Elliott 6 years ago from California USA

      Hello lovesleftovers. Thanks for a really good hub. I particularly agree with your comments about the cell phone and texting with others when in company. Also the comment on paying for a meal, for me if I ask someone to dinner then I expect to pay, that even goes for a dinner date with my wife.

    • lovesleftovers profile image

      lovesleftovers 6 years ago from Texas

      Thanks for the comment 3anglespower :)

    • 3angelspower profile image

      3angelspower 6 years ago from Cornwall, Ontario

      Great yet significant tips when it gets to relationships...