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7 Signs That He's the One

Updated on October 31, 2008

You're in love! The birds are singing, the sun is out, and there isn't a cloud in sight. But if you're like me, you've felt this before only to have your heart broken a few months (or years) later. When we are in love it is so difficult to see our situation clearly! We spend all of our time thinking about the wonderful things, but we often miss the little signs that tell us if this one is ultimately the ONE.

After years of learning the hard way what doesn't work, I finally have started looking for the signs that mean this time, it's right.

1. He Remembers the Little Things

Remembering birthdays and important dates is always a plus, but that's as easy as writing it down on your calendar. What I'm talking about here is the little things that mean he was really listening to you. If he remembers your favorite book, the fact that you don't like pickles on your chicken sandwich, and that when you were five you used to love Hello Kitty... you know he was really paying attention.

A man who remembers the little details of your conversations if a man that has gone home and replayed those moments over in his head. He is a man that was listening to you instead of secretly watching the ball game that was on the TV at the bar during dinner. Trust me, a man who is really listening is pretty rare, and it's a good sign he's really interested in you as a person.

2. You Are Comfortable Together

The first few dates in any relationship are bound to be full of electricity and nerves, but once you've settled into a relationship, has it gotten comfortable? If you still feel like you have to impress him after six months of going out, he is probably giving off signs that it isn't safe to be yourself yet.

A great relationship, one with staying power, is a relationship where all of your cards are out on the table and you can feel completely at home together. If you like to get up and dance during the credits of a really good movie when you're alone with your sister, but you wouldn't be caught dead doing it in front of him, then you might want to ask yourself why not? You should both be able to let your hair down and just be silly from time to time without feeling self-conscious. If you have that kind of freedom with your man, he just might be the one you've been waiting for.

3. He Takes Your Side

A man who is always by your side, sticking up for you and supporting you is a keeper! If you've ever been with a man who got annoyed when you complained about a situation that was hurtful, you will understand what I mean by this. When something or someone has hurt you, a good man will be right there with you, listening to your frustrations and standing by your side no matter what.

As an extreme example, let's say that his sister said something very hurtful to you during dinner with his family. Maybe she doesn't think you're the right girl for him or maybe she is best friends with his ex. A man that will stand up to his sister and let you know that he won't let anyone treat you that way is the right kind of man for you. If he ignores it, laughs it off, or tells you later that you're over-reacting, get rid of him fast! Someone who truly loves you would stand up for you. Period.

4. You Can Have Long Conversations About Something Other Than Your Relationship

If you're hoping to spend the rest of your life with someone, you certainly have to have more to talk about than just how much you love each other. Early in a relationship, there's bound to be a lot of love talk back and forth as you express your happiness to have found each other. As the relationship deepens, are you finding more and more to talk about? Could you spend hours together lying in bed talking about your hopes and dreams? Do you discuss your ideas about the future and your deepest beliefs on topics that are important to you? Are your conversations a truly balanced exchange of ideas? If you have all of those things in your discussions with your man, you are very lucky, and you might have found the perfect man for you.

5. You Are Still Intimate

Every relationship goes through its ups and downs when it comes to intimacy, but if you still feel so close and in tune to each other after all this time, you're ahead of the game. I'm not just talking about sexual intimacy, but don't dismiss that by any means. All kinds of intimacy are important in a really good and lasting relationship. If he's someone you know you can trust with any dirty detail and he'll love you no matter what, then you know you have something special.

In these busy times, it is so easy to drift apart without realizing it. Life becomes routine and hectic, and suddenly there's no time for those intimate close moments you used to have together. There's no doubt that intimacy takes work, but if you haven't worked on it in a long time and you really don't feel like it anytime soon, that's definitely not a good sign. An intimate couple that shares their feelings and their bodies on a regular basis is a couple that will last.

6. He Takes Care of You

By this, I mean a man who takes care of you when you're sick, but also when you're tired or upset or nervous. Have you ever had a boyfriend that turned away when you cried? Or simply said to call him when you're feeling better? If so, then you know the importance of a man who will stay close and take care of you in these moments of vulnerability. Sure, I understand that an emotional woman can make a man uncomfortable, but a man who really loves you would be thinking of you in those moments more than himself. Wanting to be there for you in your time of need above all else is a good sign that he's the one for you.

7. He Tells You You're Beautiful

Months or years into a relationship, men often start to take us for granted. If you have a man that is still telling you how beautiful you are, take notice. At the beginning of a relationship, most men are aware that they need to tell their dates how nice they look. After they have gotten comfortable with you, however, this seems less important to most men. If your man still mentions how nice you look or how gorgeous you are at random, unexpected moments, he really truly believes it and wants you to know how he feels. This is a sign that he really loves you and he wants you to know how much he appreciates you in his life.


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      8 years ago

      One bad sign: His mother wants to be your "best-friend" - you and he are now sharing what should be precious moments together and she is tagging along. For instance: she wants to accompany you while you are purchasing furniture, she Christmas decorates your first apt/home while you are at work and HE lets her! She insists that you give her a phone call every day. She is constantly inviting you over for dinner and pushing her company on you, passively, as he feels it is just his mother reaching out and being nice to you. She wants to dominate your relationship with your man because HE is HER SON and you should come "second" not her. The signs of this are very subtle, but keep on the look out for it. She is more likely to get away with it if you are younger, as you are more likely to treat her with the respect due an older person and you are still a "kid" in some respect. My MIL was like Marie Barone from sit-com Everyone Loves Raymond and I can tell you women like her really do exist. You have to be strong and insist on boundaries and move, move so far away that she needs to sleep somewhere overnight just to come to visit you.

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      8 years ago

      What about the discussion about money, who pays what? Once that rears its ugly head, people break's unfortunate but it often comes right down to it.


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