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7 Tips for Dating Older Women

Updated on December 26, 2010

Almost all of us have heard the term “cougar” being used a lot more these days. Whether it’s on TV, in magazines or just in general conversation, the term has become a part of everyday verbiage and people rarely think of a mountain lion when they hear it. What do they think of you ask? They think of a hot older woman that is on the prowl for young meat to devour before moving on to the next conquest.

In reality, a significant amount of older women that are attracted to younger men are not just looking for a night of hot, passionate sex or a sex-infused nostalgia. Many are seeking real relationships. If that is what you are looking for, be very careful. Older women have very limited patience for the juvenile behavior that is sometimes associated with younger men. If you want to have a successful relationship with an older woman, remember these simple rules.

1. Be Confident

Most times older women, or any woman for that matter, will not be immediately attracted to a man that comes off as shy. You must be assertive and direct during your interactions with an older woman. Let her know that you know what you want as well as how to get it. Be careful not to confuse confidence with cockiness. Confidence is sexy…..cockiness, not so much.

2. Don’t Label Her

As popular as the term cougar is, you may want to think twice before referring to her as one. There are plenty of women out there that may find the term offensive.

3. Be Prepared for a Different Sexual Experience

Here are the facts. Women peak sexually later in life, while men peak earlier. In terms of sexual synchronization, this is great news for both parties. However, there are a few things to be aware of. Older women are more likely to be more experienced in the bedroom and therefore may be a bit more assertive. This may be a different experience for you if you are used to dealing with women with less experience. Don’t fret. You might not be the captain of the ship but this could be a great opportunity to learn something new.

4. Be Aware That She’s Heard it All Before

A lot of older women have had their fair share of dates and experience with the opposite sex. What does that mean for the younger man in pursuit? It means that her BS meter is probably highly calibrated and she will pick up on any nonsense very quickly. Remember that some of the things that may have gotten the attention of the young lady at the loud, alcohol-drenched nightclub will probably not be acceptable for an older, more sophisticated woman. Plan a mature approach sans cheesy pick up lines.

5. Be On the Same Page

Many older women have been there, done that when it comes to having a family and raising children. Many younger men have not. It can become an issue if the man would like to have a family of his own one day in the future, if the woman is not willing to take another voyage down that road. Communication is the key to identifying this issue early on. The younger man may have to compromise a bit in order to maintain the relationship with the older woman.

6. Remember That Age is Nothing But a Number

When dating an older woman, the best course of action when it comes to the age difference is to just ignore it. She knows that she is older. You know that you are younger. Why state the obvious?

7. Be Yourself

You may initially be out of your comfort zone when dealing with an older woman. Do not allow this to cause you to make up some persona that you think will be more appealing to her. Be yourself and let things progress naturally. Many guys think that they have to make an extra effort to be serious, reserved or talk about the stock market when dealing with an older woman. They can find a guy their own age for that. Be your normal spontaneous, exciting and humorous self, but know when enough is enough.


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  • Curtis Aron profile image

    Curtis Aron 7 years ago from Metro Atlanta

    Hello. Thank you very much for reading. I am glad that you found my article interesting. That was a great film by the way. Taye Diggs' character definitely used some of these tips.

  • Lady_E profile image

    Elena 7 years ago from London, UK

    This is a very unique article - I've never read such topic before and you raised very good points, particularly no 6.

    It reminded me of the film "When Stella got her grove back".

    Nice one.