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27 Ways to Win a Man's Heart That Many Women Don't Know

Updated on June 13, 2017

Ways to Win a Man's Heart

Maybe you’re not in a relationship because you’ve been looking for the perfect man which does not exist. It could be you’re too busy and accomplished, and that makes men reluctant to approach you. Maybe you’ve made mistakes about men before and you’re hesitant to try again. It’s likely you have no idea why you can’t seem to get a man. However, there are things you need to do to win a man’s heart. It’s not impossible to win a man’s heart; it’s just that many women don’t know what to do. Most men want to be married or remain married. These are the things you need to do to win his heart:

1. Respect him

Men adore women that treat them with respect but this is where a lot of women fall short; they don’t respect their man enough, but they expect to be respected instead. Respect is a key for creating a strong desire and building magnetic attraction. Men have a very strong need for respect, and it’s the core of their self-esteem. Show your man respect by not trying to control everything, since respect is what a man most needs from a woman for a long-term relationship. When a man feels he isn’t respected, he will become cold, unresponsive, and simply withdraws his love. A man feels valued when he’s respected, and when you make a man who loves you feel this way, he’ll be willing to go the extra mile for you.

2. Make him laugh

Try to be humorous by telling jokes. A man feels good about you when you make him smile. Laughter relieves tension and also tends to make people feel better instantaneously. Getting a man to laugh regularly is a powerful way to show him that you’re an essential ingredient in Life’s recipe for happiness.

3. Be happy

Happiness is another big key to winning a man’s heart; so be the woman with a happy personality. Happiness is contagious. When he sees you smiling, having fun, and being happy, he will naturally want to be a part of your happy life. When you are happy, you look more attractive, and your positivism will win his heart.

4. Be the right one

Finding the right man is important. However, don’t just look for the right traits in him, but work on the right traits in you. Face the fact that you need to improve in some of your weaknesses; that will pay off in a more appealing character and confidence that will make you win the heart of the man in your life.

5. Trust

A simple but powerful way to earn a man’s trust and get him to open up to you is by sharing your deepest fears and secrets with him; so reveal something about your past that you wouldn’t share with just anyone. For a man to be deeply attracted to you, he needs to feel good about you. By unveiling one of your innermost formative experiences or a private thought, however shocking, unpleasant, or unremarkable, you will demonstrate trust. Trust, when reciprocated, breeds closeness. If you can muster the courage to lead the way in establishing mutual trust, you will also lay the groundwork for a strong relationship.

6. Be kind

Be the kind woman who makes her man desire her. When your man desires you and misses your presence whenever you are away, then you’ve won the key to his heart. Let your presence be valuable to him, and try to create a feeling within him that will make him want to be with you always. When you treat him with kindness, he desires you even more because you love him the way he wants to be loved.

7. Let yourself be emotional

When you are open and vulnerable with him, he will feel safe around you and in the process he will trust you. Don’t be afraid to admit how you feel; cry when you are sad, admit when you’ve had a terrible day, or laugh when you are happy. There’s beauty in every single human emotion, and in those brave enough to express their feelings in front of their man. Every man wants his woman to be proud of him and to see him as her hero and the only man whom she can really count on in times of need and distress.

8. Be confident in yourself, not desperate.

In an attempt to not lose their man, some women try harder -- this often makes them look needy, clingy and desperate. You may find you've been signaling desperation by something as simple as always putting your hand on a guy's arm or always trying to sit next to him when you go out with his friends. Men don’t want a woman that is too interested too soon because, then they are denied the opportunity to woo, court and charm her. When you try to convince a man that you are the one for him by giving him an ultimatum, persuading him with logic, or pleading with him to commit, he feels he is being manipulated. Inside every man is a rebellious teenager that will resist any attempt to being forced to do anything that isn’t his decision. As a woman, what you need to do is to add a touch of mystery, uncertainty and adventure to encourage him to actively pursue you and make the overall experience fun. Remember, neediness is a huge turn-off for men, and what you need to do instead is to quit worrying, stop putting your life on hold, and focus all your energy and time on yourself. Most of all, don't look to a guy to make you feel complete. Instead, relax and be confident in who you are.

9. Physical Beauty

It is vital that you take care of yourself physically. That doesn't mean you have to be a supermodel. Being attractive more likely comes when a woman takes care of herself and stays healthy. One of the most common misconceptions women have is that men are only attracted to women with the perfect body shape and size. The key point to understand is that physical beauty may initially help capture a man’s attention, but it cannot be the foundation of a long-term healthy relationship. So nurture your physical beauty but endeavor to develop your innate qualities.

10. Men are attracted to independent women

Men are irresistibly drawn towards a woman who doesn’t need a man to make her happy, who isn’t looking for a man’s approval to define her worth, who has a passionate, purposeful life of her own, and yet also deeply values, cherishes and appreciates a man’s love in her life. He feels good about you when you do things for yourself. And when you do that, he will be compelled to always think of you, crave having you by his side, and to think of all the ways he can please you, cherish you and assist you when necessary.

11. Encourage him to be vulnerable

Men are conditioned to be tough, competitive and independent. When they don’t behave this way, they are bullied, ridiculed, shamed, ignored and looked down upon. Because of this, men suppress their feelings, hide their emotions, ignore their pains and never ask for help. Deep down inside, men yearn to share their deepest fears and feelings. Ask him questions about how he feels and what he really thinks and make him feel comfortable talking to you.

12. Be the woman who makes him better

Your man will also value you more when you make him a better person. If you inspire him to be a better man; he will open up to you, he would see you as a dependable partner and you will win his heart. Creating value is a very important way to win a man’s heart.

13. Help him do chores he hates

Sometimes, tackling a household chore or running an annoying errand is the best gift you can give to your man. Nothing says “I love you” like relieving him of a nagging chore such as picking up their dry-cleaning, unloading the dishwasher or taking out the garbage so he doesn’t have to.

14. Make room for his friends

It’s important to get to know your partner’s friends since they represent a solid portion of who he is. Ask about the people you know he holds dearest, and try to meet them so you can win his intimate friends over by impressing them by being a good hostess. It’s always helpful to have your man’s friends on your side.

15. Character and personality

Inasmuch as a man will first be attracted to you because of your physical beauty, it’s your inner beauty that will make him stay. What sustain a man’s interest over the long term is not a woman’s physical beauty, but her character and personality because men see a woman's physical beauty as only part of the package and not the entire package. Women often tend to overestimate the importance of physical beauty and looks in attracting men. Your inner character and personality could make him all yours.

16. Cook his favorite food

An old adage says that, “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” To cook for him is to cater to one of his most basic human needs and cooking can be extremely intimate. It requires hard work and careful thought. And if you cook his favorite food, you would have proved just how willing you are to place his personal tastes above your own.

17. Texting can build relationships

People use texts to try and express affection for their partner. Couples who send deeply textured, affectionate little text to each other are often the most closely attached emotionally. So texting can be an important tool when you’re trying to capture a man’s heart.

18. Let him lead.

Guys are stirred to action by both sensing a woman's interest and by feeling the need to be the leader in the relationship. Men are, by nature, hunters. They love to pursue and experience the thrill of the chase. That means not pursuing him, letting him make most of the first moves: to ask you out or turn a friendship into a romance.

19. Men like to protect and provide

Men have a strong need to protect and provide, and these needs are largely tied to the male identity. Everything that they do in life is based on their desire to succeed. This includes chasing and winning a woman that they desire, making her happy, and protecting and providing for her. Even though women have made rapid strides in the workplace and are increasingly becoming the primary breadwinners, men still have a strong desire to provide for their family. When you recognize these needs and present opportunities to a man to protect and provide, you can effortlessly win his heart.

20. Alter his view about something

We all have opinions about worldly affairs such as music, movies and politics. If you can make a man appreciate a certain band he’s hesitant to listen to or enjoy a movie or TV program he’s skeptical about or consider a social issue from a different perspective, you have made a lasting impression on him. He’s bound to associate you with his new line of thinking, and will admire you for steering him down a path he wouldn’t have found without you.

21. Have his interest at heart

A man has to be completely convinced that you have his best interests at heart before you can win him over. Men tend to be secretive and protective of their emotions and feelings. In other words, he needs to be able to trust you. But when you have his best interest at heart, you’ll get him to open up more to you, and he would also trust you. When you have these two going, you will have access to his heart.

22. Give him a present for no particular reason

A gift given randomly is more special than one received on any anniversary or birthday. When you present someone a token of your love and appreciation for no specific reason, the gesture translates as pure kindness. It says that you care every single day and not just on special occasions. Everyone responds well to a pleasant surprise.

23. Appreciate him and be proud of him

Look for ways to acknowledge him for the things he does, and be proud of him as well. When a man feels appreciated and has a woman who takes pride in him, he’d be willing to do everything for her. A man needs positive reinforcement and encouragement that he is winning right from the moment he lays eyes on you. This requires appreciating his efforts, accepting his love wholeheartedly, and rewarding him with your happiness every step of the way. A woman’s encouragement and support makes a world of difference to a man, and in turn, he will strive to be the best man he can possibly be, and will cherish you, adore you, and love you.

24. Make space for his family

It’s important to be polite to your man’s parents and siblings. Take it upon yourself to write his family members’ birthdays down so you can wish them well and remind him to do the same. Help him figure out what to do when they come to town and help to make them comfortable. Remind him to send “thank you notes” when relevant. The closer you are to his relatives, the more likely they are to support your relationship.

25. Men love hearing that you admire them.

Men love knowing that their woman admires them. And that most especially includes you, his wife. And in doing so, you will touch his heart in a very deep way. Tell him you're proud of him for being so good at something he does well — whether it's his job, the way he handled that difficult situation at home, or even handling the kids. If you think he's romantic and funny, let him know. Don't leave him guessing at how you feel about him.

26. Give him space

Man appreciates a woman who not only respects his need for space and time apart but is also comfortable with it because one of the biggest fears men have when they enter into a relationship is losing their independence. In order to reassure themselves that they are not trapped in a relationship and can still continue doing things that they love in life, men often feel the need to pull away and spend time alone. When you are too possessive, a man feels he is not getting the space he needs, and in the process he pulls further away.

27. Don’t try to change him

Don’t try to change him because the feeling he is a loser may arise when you cannot accept him for who he is and when you try to change him. Apart from trust, a man has to feel that you recognize his uniqueness, strongly believe in him.


Winning a man’s heart isn’t an impossible task; if you have a man who loves you, winning his heart will only be an easy task if you do some of the things listed above. If he doesn't seem to be interested in deepening your relationship, there’s always the possibility that you're holding onto a hope that isn't going anywhere. If so, you would do far better to open yourself up emotionally to another man.

Have you ever wondered whether the man you are with truly loves you & see you as part of his future?

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    • Chuksm profile imageAUTHOR

      Anthony Modungwo 

      18 months ago from Benin

      Callie Artime, thanks for your comment: "Great article." I appreciate your encouragement.

    • Callie Artime profile image

      Callie Artime 

      18 months ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      Great article!


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