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8 Steps For Getting Over Break-Up

Updated on May 8, 2013
Broken Hearts Can Be Mended
Broken Hearts Can Be Mended

8 Steps To Help You Move On With Your Life After A Break-Up

After breaking up, especially when someone else has done the breaking up with you - you can feel like there is no life left in you, as if you're future is not going to happen any longer just because you lost the 'love of your life'.

You sit around and think about the loss and how you could have been so happy together and you dwell over all the plans you made together that are no longer going to happen.

Now most people can get themselves out of this funk within a decent amount of time but others have a harder time and can't seem to get over their ex and move on with their lives.

These 8 steps will make it easier to move on - but you actually have to attempt them first!

So here we go:

Listen To The People Who Love You – Even Your Mother

Because they have an outside view they will be able to tell you if you are starting to get a little bit too depressed over the breakup. You know – if you are starting to stink and so is your house.

As much as listening to “Take a shower” or “Clean your house” may not be what you want to hear – it may be exactly the first step you need to take to start moving forward.

Socialize In Your Home

You may not want to even attempt having people over but you need to if you want to start recovering from the breakup.

Friends and family will remind you that there is laughter outside of that relationship and that laughter can be had in your home without your ex. It will replace the negative aura that has been hanging around with some fun and positive vibes.

The longer you can keep your friends or family around the better. Spending the night, two nights, however long it takes to start seeing your house and your happiness in a new light.

Get Out Of the House

Get up and get out. It may be hard to take those initial steps out and into activities other than crying or feeling upset but its well worth it.

It doesn’t matter what you do but you do need to be doing something in those empty moments you may have in the first period after your breakup.

Think about it. If you can fill a moment that you would be sitting around wondering what your ex is doing to a moment that you are taking some sort of class at the gym and consequently are too busy to think about your ex which would you rather do. (Even if you answered thinking about your ex...in the long run I am sure you would rather be having a happy time rather than sad.)

But remember - Do not do the same activities you used to do in your relationship. Heading to the same gym the go to at the same time or eating at the restaurant you used to go to every Friday is not going to help you forget them – instead it will help you take longer to get over them..

Write Down Your Progress So You Can Visually See Yourself Getting Better

I’m a big believer in writing down tasks accomplished and goals accomplished and each day you think about the pain less is a huge goal!

Write down how you feel and what you did today that didn’t involve thinking about your ex. Look back over your days and notice that you really are getting better and moving forward! This will help you to move even faster when you see that it really is possible whether you think so or not.

Also, if you make a mistake or do something that makes you feel bad (like calling your ex and hanging up) you can note that down in your writing. Make sure to really be descriptive about how you felt and how you feel when you write it. When you look back on this the next day you may see how silly it all is.

Our feelings can be compulsive and all over the place but our brains are quite rational and when we read something without attaching huge feeling to it we can see the underlining reasons and effect it really has.

Remember you were in this spot before!

Before you met you ex you probably had a break up or two. Remember that you got through those and found someone that made you happy. You will find that again.

Once you start presenting yourself as a happy and healthy person you will start meeting new people and forming new relationships. Someone out there may be thinking the exact same thing you are and who knows...they may be the next someone for you.

Avoid ‘False Friends’

Drinking, drugs, and bad habits have a way of showing up when we have to deal with a breakup but they are not helping you get through anything – they are just making the process harder and longer.

They can make you feel worse about something then you really need to be feeling, they can make you do irrational things that you normally wouldn’t do, and they can get you in trouble with the people that care about you and are trying to help you through this process.

Not to mention the biggest roadblock to recovery - it can make you harass your ex which just leads to more rejection and even more heart break.

Nope – just stay away from the bad stuff and only let positive and healthy stuff into your life to get on with the speediest and healthiest recovery possible.

Talk To Your Real Friends

People will expect you to want to talk and most people will want to listen because it’s human nature to want to make someone feel better. So take advantage of the first little while to share your feelings and rationalize the way you are thinking instead of keeping it all bottled in. It will help guaranteed.

Just remember that if you go on and on forever about the same stuff it will become more of a chore to listen to you then a gift. So make sure you take other steps to deal with your pain and get to the point that you talk about other things besides your ex.

Get Out And Be Single – Keep Reminding Yourself That You Are Single and Available

Remember that you now have the potential to find someone else who has everything you need and want in a partner and you have the option to look around until you find that someone.

Enjoy being able to flirt and socialize in a way you can’t do when you are taken. Once you see that there are other single people in the world you will start to realize that there is a lot of potential for the future.

You can even join dating sites and look at peoples profiles and get excited about the fact that there is someone else out there for you!

If All Else Fails View The Break-Up Through Humorous Eyes!

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    • Levertis Steele profile image

      Levertis Steele 

      6 years ago from Southern Clime

      I did not begin healing from my first breakup until six months had passed. That was torture! I had my own apartment, so I remained inside drowning in self pity. I did not receive visitors when I was under much stress. Later, I went to a doctor and discovered, although not surprised, that I was dehydrated and malnourished. Soon after, I decided that I wanted to live, so I started socializing with all of the wrong people. A year later, I went through the process of getting back on the right track from that drama. I went from one cleanup to another because I had no idea how to begin getting over a relationship. Now, you tell me! These would have worked well for me, I believe; therefore, sharing with others is not a bad idea.

      Great hub. I am clicking on positive buttons! Thanks for sharing.

    • devin23 profile image

      devin23 

      6 years ago from CA

      Haha, that video at the end is great.

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