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8 Tips When He isn’t in the Mood to Get Him In the Mood

Updated on February 16, 2017
smcopywrite profile image

Smcopywrite has been a freelance writer for several years. Owning blogs in more than a few niches makes for a variety of expertise.

Take some time to get everything taken care of. Sex appeal begins with attraction and appeal. Some men are not attracted to peach fuzz or whiskers on the opposi

Getting him to see you is a job for some couples. Although it is difficult at times, it is certainly not impossible.

Men love to be intimate as much as women. Though there are times when he simply is not interested. This is an issue for more than a few couples in a variety of relationship statuses. Whether casually dating, serious relationship or married, there is the same issue in all three. He is in a different state of mind than you happen to be.

If he has been a little distant and off his usual self, consider taking matters into your own hands. If you are in the right place and time and he isn’t, get some help to get him in there. Generally just a little push will do.

These are hints or tips to use to make things start up in the right direction. If it doesn’t end quite the way as planned, at least you have some fun trying to make things work out.

Touch him with a massage

A nice sensual massage is a great way to get him to notice you at the same time you get him aroused. Rub his shoulders, back and chest. Give a real massage to relax his body but add a bit of intimacy he wouldn’t get from a typical masseuse. Touch is a wonderful way to get any person stress free and convey a better sense of where you are mentally and physically.

When giving an extra touch to relax and expose your feelings, go a step further. Dress in something sexy but not too revealing. Approach the scene with a light subtle touch. Overwhelming the senses isn't what this is all about.

Set the mood

Wear something sexy. It doesn’t necessarily have to be skimpy. Wear a pair of form fitting blue jeans and have a blouse showing just enough to make him more curious about what he does not see. This is not saying put less clothes on. Though, most couples are aware of what their mate likes or doesnt enjoy when it comes to clothing or attire. Dress for success in this particular forum.

Get a pedicure along with the nails and hair to look and feel your best overall. Individuals feeling at their best tend to look the same as the mood. Put on a little fragrance and light some candles. Keep the lights turned down low to get him in the mood when he isn't.

If you have a fireplace and it’s the time of year when it is possible to light it and not look idiotic, do so. Setting the mood sometimes tells him more than words will ever say.

There is more than one way to make it happen

Intimate bath for you or both of you. Sometimes unwinding before working to do the same for him is what is needed.
Intimate bath for you or both of you. Sometimes unwinding before working to do the same for him is what is needed.
Get a pedicure to feel sexy for him
Get a pedicure to feel sexy for him
Let him know you are interested in getting a little closer
Let him know you are interested in getting a little closer
Sexy candles for the mood
Sexy candles for the mood
Vanilla is an erotic fragrance for many men
Vanilla is an erotic fragrance for many men
Sexy fireplace to set the mood
Sexy fireplace to set the mood

Home cooked meal smells are enough for some guys to have an upward swing in mood


Whispers are an intimate way of talking to one another. Softly say something in the tone saved for bedroom conversations even if the two of you are watching television. Convey something intimate to draw him to you and engage in the feelings and sensations of wanting to be with him in this moment in time. Make him get the impression there is nothing here but the two of you and this moment.

Nine times out of ten something naughty definitely gets his undivided attention. Not a long conversation but reveal your mood and what to expect if he feels it too. Fewer words are better in some circumstances. Eye contact is extremely important when making the point. This is more than one way of getting the word out this is between the two of you. The rest of the world is on pause for this moment while waiting for his answer.


According to members of the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago, vanilla is the scent shown to arouse men the most. How about a nice bubble bath for you with scented vanilla body wash or bubble bath for him?

Some women are not partial to vanilla, (men either) there is always an alternative. His favorite scent works just a well. Stay away from another he dislikes or any thing which smells like his mother. It is okay to try something new. Though, this is taking a chance he does not find it at all inviting.

Make the ambiance excellent when he closes his eyes and other senses like smell are engaged. The goal is to achieve an extremely pleasant picture in his mind simply from the quality of the air surrounding you.

Let him know you are waiting for him

If he is away from the house, wait for his arrival in the tub with two glasses of wine. Lay across the couch with the lights turned down low and candles lit. A sexy pose is not necessary. Simply reading a book is sometimes enough for most men. The fact you waited expectantly for his arrival home is satisfaction for more than a few guys.

Turn off the television and don’t have any distractions. Before he gets home. Have a nice dinner for two planned. For couples with children, get the babysitter to do the job away from the house. Take care of this task while he is out. The fuss and muss of packing up and getting the house clear of others is a chore in itself. Make certain the noise and fuss is gone before he comes in the door.

Cook and clean before hand. Have dinner brought in. Countless guys appreciate the home cooked meal smells and immediately relax and have an upward swing in mood. Taking the time to do the work on a personal level is also a form of intimacy. Of course, set the table with his favorites.

Wait in the bedroom. Drape a scarf over the bedroom lamp to create a sensual atmosphere and put on his favorite nightgown with the sheets turned down. Wait in the bedroom or draw him there from the front door with arms around him or soft kisses which are an appetizer for the rest of the evening.

Buy him a gift certificate

This is not what always comes first to mind, but it does work for a few. The trip is for you, but really for him in some aspects. It is a surprise he will enjoy. This is not for a fishing trip or round of golf.

Take him shopping in a store usually bypassed while he is visiting the mall. Buy him a gift certificate from a lingerie store and let him pick out what you will be wearing. Whether he spends it on undies or on sleepwear, it is all the same in this particular store. This is a way to really build the sexual tension and intimacy for later.

Snuggle up

Wherever he happens to be sitting or even standing, snuggle up to him. Lay your head on his shoulder. Snuggle up to his back if he is standing up and put your arms around his middle. Play with his hair and kiss him on the neck while sitting together on the sofa. Run your hands over his chest while sitting on his lap. This is wonderful for bringing two people physically closer to one another in a very personal way.

That favorite song

While you are setting the mood, don’t forget the favorite song. Do you have a favorite love song? Make an entire CD of this music. Make sure they are sexy. Imagine one to slow dance to while putting your head on his shoulder or chest.

It doesn’t have to necessarily be a CD comprised entirely of slow love songs. Whatever puts him in the mood. Most couples even have favs they both share. Regardless of these are old or new, whatever gets the job done is the right one.

In conclusion

Putting him in the mood is easier than you think. Simply imagine what makes you feel special and close to him in an intimate way. Take that ambience and put his personality on it. You know him better than anyone. You understand deep down what he responds to and what he doesn’t.

These are only a few helpful hints and tips if he isn’t responding to the usual stimuli. It’s always nice to change it up a bit. That’s what keeps the relationship fresh and sustaining.

Changing roles keeps an interest in the relationship in more ways than one

There are several ways to tip the scales in your favor and get him to notice you want him to see you and get intimate. A woman revving up the sex life every now and then is a good thing and most men enjoy being the pursued instead of the pursuer.

When he doesn’t seem to be on the same page you are, don’t simply jump his bones. Find a different way to get him in the mood when he isn't. Be subtle but firm. Give him the option. Let him know that you are available and want him to touch, kiss and be with you.

Even older couples have ways of getting him in the mood. This is the real life couple of Pixars up at eighty

Everyone is unique. Keep his personality in mind when making decisions.

Everyone is unique and different and there is more than one way to skin a cat. This means those little things which make us special are specific for each of us. The experience surrounding making the mood as perfect as possible will vary for every one.

For instance, taking the trip to the store for intimate wear makes a very shy guy extremely uncomfortable. Whereas a more outgoing personality finds this is just the thing. Even role playing is a possibility for a select few couples.

Touching the back of his neck or his face instead of his chest is a great idea depending on circumstances and your guy.

© 2011 smcopywrite


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    • smcopywrite profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from all over the web

      most men assume that a woman knows what gets him in the mood. talk to her. let her know if you enjoy candles or don't. you may be pleasantly surprised with a little conversation concerning what your ideas are concerning romance. thanks for the comment logic,commonsense

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      Great tips!

      All of them work for me!

      Just need to get them out to a few more women that I know!:)

    • smcopywrite profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from all over the web

      if it works for you and him as a couple, it does sound good. try it and find out if you it works.

    • profile image


      6 years ago from Lima, Ohio

      I truly love the things that you had in mind. I was never the romantic type but a a few of the things you had in mind I was thinking as well. The thing I really wanted to do for him was wear this lingerie that he is buying me for Christmas and play his favorite song which is by Destiny's Child, "Cater 2 U". How does that sound ?.

    • smcopywrite profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from all over the web

      once a man experiences a professional pedicure, he will typically go back. you are seeing more men getting them than ever before.

      if you can convince him to go....he will enjoy it

    • tsmog profile image

      Tim Mitchell 

      7 years ago from Escondido, CA

      Yup, that would work alright , , ,and adding to that I once took a date to get a pedicure for us both , , ,wonderful experience


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