ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

9 Reasons Why I'm Glad You Cheated On Me

Updated on February 22, 2016

No one who was just cheated on will think they'd ever utter those words. It's difficult to understand how someone you thought you knew so well, could be so different. Your world, your reality, and your self-esteem come crashing down. You have time to reflect, so spend some of that time to read on.......you will thank yourself and the person who did it.

1. You made me hate myself

When I found out..... I stared in the mirror looking at every imperfection. I questioned my daily habits, routines, and foundation. I'm sure this happens to anyone who is cheated on.

It's natural to think possibly there is something wrong with you that caused the unfaithfulness. And in that brutal time of self criticism..I thought I wasn't good enough..I did find imperfections. I honed in on everything I was that could be improved.....And I changed them.

Not for the person who betrayed me, but for me. For my peace of mind. Because I wanted me back. The me I lost in our relationship.

I hit the gym harder, I indulged in my hobbies more, I got to know my friends again. I did things for me. Because you betrayed me, I became closer with me.

I found myself again because I distanced myself from you and the person I had become.

I didn't lose you----I lost me, and so did you. But because you did, I found myself -- And I love myself.

I was right, I wasn't good enough for me, and neither were you. I'm back and you're no longer in my league.

2. You made me think I did something wrong

I thought back to what I could have done differently? To try to answer that question, I made changes: I started going out less, I started talking to more of my friends. Trying to find anything that I could have done differently. I was more patient, I was less angry, I rushed less, and I enjoyed more.I changed my perception. I found out the answer is no, I couldn't have done anything differently, that was your job.

But while I was searching for that answer, I improved my life. And you set that in motion.

3. You broke my heart

When people talk of a broken heart, you don't really understand it until someone you love turns on you. It does hurt, you feel it emanate from your heart to your stomach.

It aches.

And every time you think of the betrayal, your heart throbs from the memory of it.

But what it also did was remind me that I still have a heart, and my heart can still feel. You may leave a little scar tissue there, but what else you left was the space you had....so I can give it to someone else.

4. You left me alone

I was so alone. Our every day routine, the security in knowing I was coming home to you, the warmth of having someone to share a bed with was gone. I was so alone.

No one to share a funny video with while watching TV, or vent about politics or people to.

But it made me realize that I can handle it.

Being alone is better than being with someone who doesn't truly love me.

Being alone is better than sharing a bed with someone who is thinking of someone else.

Being alone is better than believing "I Love Yous" because its easier.

Being alone forced me to get to know myself, and my strength.

And now I know, it's OK to be alone.

5. You ruined our plans

We were building a life together. We had plans. travel, holidays, normal days, routines...we had plans.

As I went through each of those plans in my mind with you pictured in them, you didn't fit anymore.

The plans I had were saved because I realized I should have made with someone else. And I never would have known that until I knew you. The real you. You saved me the time I would have wasted with you. And memories to make with someone else.

6. You made me weak

I questioned myself. My worth. My value. I cried. I couldn't help but feel worthless. So I traced back our relationship.

I thought about the lies, the betrayal, the false 'love', and I realized, it wasn't that I was weak. You were.

You couldn't be true, you couldn't be strong----you could only be you. And you're weak.

I found I am the strong one. To not give into impulse. To not betray our relationship. And you know what? I'm a ninja goddess. You're a coward in warrior armor.

I found the weakest part of me was merely your perception of me....you thought I was weak....That would be true only if I would have stayed with you. But I didn't. It would have been easier, like your decisions to cheat...but I didn't...because I'm not like you. I'm strong.

7. You made me question my decisions

What did I get into?

How did I get here?

Why was I betrayed?

Are there any good ones left?

These are all the questions I asked myself. And you know what I found? I'm surprised I was so blind. I'm surprised I was so deaf. I made a bad decision, indeed. But it wasn't in how I was in our relationship. It was that I misjudged your character. I believed your lies, and gave you time. But you made me better for helping me realize one thing: I can do better; in decision making, and than you.

8. You wasted my time

I invested my time with the promise of a future together. I felt we were sharing our life in order to build one big happy album to mark the past and toast to the future.

All of the nights on couch, the texts, the phone calls, the date nights, the family nights.

We spend money on things we find value in. We spend time in the same way.

If I had known then what I know now, I would not have spent my time with you. But I cannot get it back. So I find value in that you filled a time in my life where I was growing as a person, learning through experience, and now I'm closer to being the person I want to be, and finding the one who is right for me.

9. You made others talk about us

Of course the ones who knew you were cheating talked.

But those who knew me....knew something was wrong.

They asked what happened, even though they probably already knew.

They said wonderful things about me like; You're amazing, your beautiful spirit needs no poison, you can do so much better, there are many who would never take you for granted. You deserve love. You're beautiful.

All these encouraging words said to me.

Finally.

And I started thinking, they're right. And even if their words were solely for encouragement, it made me think I'd rather be encouraged as strong and single than pitied silently as a cheater's partner.

I am amazing.

And if you're reading this because this happened to you? YOU'RE AMAZING.

You.Are. Amazing.

The fact that you are seeking solace and attempting to heal your broken heart shows how much you love yourself. Love yourself more.

We are amazing spirits in this world. Learning, loving, laughing, and leaving memories. If someone cannot love you for all the beautiful wonderful quirky things you are? Find another spirit. ONE like YOU. Who will make your soul smile, not cry.

“If you're betrayed, release disappointment at once. By that way, the bitterness has no time to take root.” -Toba Beta

In the end, we cannot control what others do to us. We can only be true to ourselves and others. If they betray that, do not harbor anger. Look back and learn.

You will feel liberated in knowing you did absolutely nothing wrong. That there is nothing wrong with you, and that you are a better person for the strength you acquired through the heartbreak.

Set your standards higher. Look at yourself in a different way. Cater to yourself, your needs, your hobbies, and get to know yourself again so you know what kind of person is good enough for you.

Then, kill the seed of betrayal they left in your heart by leaving them and loving you. Let the only roots that grow in your world be filled with love, laughter, and life.

Have you been cheated on?

See results

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Larry Rankin profile image

      Larry Rankin 2 years ago from Oklahoma

      Very interesting commentary.

    • Tara Mapes profile image
      Author

      Tara Mapes 2 years ago

      Roselinsojan, you may be right. Indeed. Thanks for reading. Peace to you.

    • roselinsojan profile image

      roselinsojan 2 years ago from India,Kerala.

      Dear friend, we can fixes anything in this world ,expect Broken Hearts.

    • Tara Mapes profile image
      Author

      Tara Mapes 2 years ago

      Indeed Dana, it's almost ineffable when your love is betrayed. Thank you for reading :)

    • Dana Tate profile image

      Dana Tate 2 years ago from LOS ANGELES

      Wow! This was deep. Yes, I had been cheated on and it is very painful when someone breaks your trust. Love makes you vulnerable.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)