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12 Reasons Why Older Women Date Younger Men

Updated on July 1, 2018

Why Older Women Like to Date Younger Men


It is no longer surprising to see an older woman with a significantly younger man. When it comes to love and lasting relationships, is age really just a number? First of all, needs control and motivate behavior not age. Everything a person does is an attempt to meet their needs. Needs determine behavior. More often than not, problems in relationships stem primarily from the fact that men and women do not understand each other’s needs. Well, they say age is nothing but a number. What matters is there is mutual understanding between two people in a relationship. The number of older women dating, and some marrying younger men is on the increase. These older women are commonly referred to as cougars. Monica Porter became popular for writing a book for dating men far younger than her.

Although many societies frown at this trend, they are doing nothing to stop it. In some African countries, the older woman-younger man relationship remains a taboo, and a large number of people do not approve of it. This, however, is not a hindrance to daring women out there because needs determine fulfillment. Until their needs are met, nothing else in life really matters. . So, what is this that attracts older women to much younger men? Here are some reasons:

Just for fun.

Older women that go into relationship with younger men are usually are financially secure and they don’t need the men to give them status, so they just want to have fun with a younger man full of energy. The number one need of a woman is affection. Women obviously enjoy sex but it must be accompanied by a lot of affection. There is no doubt that younger men tend to be more fun and carefree. Affection means that he physically and verbally expresses love, his care, and his support for her with physical and non-physical activities: hugs, kisses, flowers, and cards, gifts, extending courtesies, and showing little daily acts of thoughtfulness. For the successful woman who never took the time to have fun in her younger day, because of spending time to acquire education or climb corporate ladder, this might be an attraction. These women are not looking to have children because they already have them or have decided that they don’t want to have any. Some of them are not eyeing marriage either; all they want is a good time. Mostly, they just need a man to accompany them to social events, to go for vacations and show their lovers off to their friends.

To be In-charge

Conventionally, men are regarded as the head of the family. However, with the society becoming dynamic and competitive, some women have ambition not only to take charge in the boardrooms, but also to take control of their relationships. While it’s great that women have made important and long overdue strides toward social, political, and economic equality, some women have, unfortunately, pushed for equality to the point of ignoring the distinctive differences between men and women. In some extreme cases they want to be in-charge. Women who are this group will like to call the shots in their relationship with men. They are more likely to date younger men who will be more or less under them because they are high earners in their own right. Women who like to be in driver’s seat are more susceptible to date younger men because these women have more than enough money and they can afford to provide them with financial help, gifts and take them out on expensive trips. In return, the men is expected to make the women happy by being there for them whenever they are needed, failing, they can be easily replaced.

She has fewer expectations

There is always competition between men and women of about the same age, and almost the same career status. As a result, a successful woman will unintentionally hold a man of close age to the same high standards to which she had accomplished. With a younger man, however, she'll be more liberal and rather be looking for the ways to help. The younger man will do less to impress her and she'll be willing be play a supportive role with regards his career.

They want to feel young

Older women may date a much younger men just to feel young. The experience with a youthful man has a way of returning a glow on a woman’s face and makes the woman regain her youth. Having younger men by their sides create a feeling of reassurance and boosts their self-esteem that they are still desirable even makes them feel good about themselves for attracting younger men even if they were advanced in age. Knowing that they are still capable of creating excitement in men makes them feel lovable, sexy and rekindle fire in the women’s life and filled them with a new zeal for life.

Sexual satisfaction

He satisfies her sexual needs. Some women are suffering more than more than we could possibly imagine. A young man is obviously energetic and excites the woman in the bedroom. Sex is a warm, intimate, and beautiful expression of love. It centers on the physical stimulation of the five senses –sight, smell, hearing, taste, and touch. Having a man who can romance her and take her through satisfying lovemaking makes the woman feel young again. Because younger men are more adventurous, it was like his energy was being transferred to her. He makes her feel so alive. While sex is a part of the reason women choose younger men, it's not the whole reason because not all older men experience an enormous decrease in their sex drive. So women aren't necessarily seeking out younger men because older ones can't give them sexual satisfaction. The relationship between a younger man and an older woman is likely to last for reasons that go beyond their daily sex life.

Undergoing mid-life crisis

Mid-life crisis is real, and once it sets in, it makes women insecure, so when she meets a committed man even younger, he submits. Nothing is more depressing to a woman than uncommitted man. This happens, especially, after menopause. Some women, who are undergoing this condition, would go at any lengths to spice up their lives and a good number seek solace in younger man.

Physical attraction

Women’s eyes are continually assaulted by macho young men do know how to take care of their bodies. Women love to be in the presence of a manly man. They work out regularly in the gym, keeping an eye on their weight; dress in clothes that fit and flatter their built and smell nice. A loving woman does not expect perfection, but does appreciate a sincere effort made by her man to remain fit, with well-toned with biceps and chests any woman would wish to lay on. Such man makes women feel more feminine, more self-confident, and more relaxed. Apart from masculine, some women fall for very handsome men.

To escape an unhappy relationship

Some women are in unhappy relationship and all they want to do is escape. There may be physical, verbal abuse. The relationship may be a constant litany of anger, shouting, cursing, and quarrelling.


Women who have been hurt in a former relationship or marriage often feel discouraged and depressed, with their self-esteem low. They are quick to jump headlong into a new relationship with the first person who comes along offering sympathy or concern with caring about the age difference. By this they hope not only to ease their hurt but prove to themselves that there is nothing wrong with them.

She wants a younger father for her children

Some women cite the desire to have children with a young male their reason of going into relationship with younger men. Women who focus on their careers may put off parenthood until the clock starts ticking. Having achieved success in their careers and being financially stable, they are likely very conscious of whom they would consider to be the father of their children.

She hasn't had time for emotional issues

It is quite possible that because of the focus she has placed on her career, she hasn't taken the time to resolve any underlying emotional issues. With this, she may still be trying to figure out what she needs and wants in a partner, and how relationships are supposed to be. She may be less attracted to men who seem settled in this regard, and more attracted to men who are trying to figure it out as well.

Fear of being left out

This fear affects women more than men. Even in our modern society, a woman’s sense of worth is linked to marriage, home, and family more so than is a man’s. Many women start to get worried if they reach the age of 30 and still are not married. Sometimes panic sets in. “What do I do? All my friends are married except me. What is wrong with me?” with this mindset, some women will grab the first guy that comes along and shows any interest in her age immaterial.


The women who indulge in relationships with younger men have time and again been judged harshly compared to men who have done it for ages. I guess it’s time people gave them a break. After all, it is their life. What is good for the goose is good for the gander.


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    • Chuksm profile imageAUTHOR

      Anthony Modungwo 

      2 years ago from Benin

      John, if she agrees to go out with you, she may be interested but taking her time to be sure you are serious. But after a number of dates and she still unwilling to have a relationship with you then end the dating. Some people are of the view that age is just number that has no effect on relationships. I recently read of a girl who is into a relationship with a man four years older than her father and she confessed the sex is amazing.

    • profile image

      John Boillard 

      2 years ago

      How do I know if she is interested if she keeps saying I'm old enough to be your mother..but we still keep going out on dates..when I ask her if she wants a relationship that's when she says old enough to be your mother..


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