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9 Ways To Deal With A Nagging Wife

Updated on May 30, 2012

The Best Ways To Deal With These Nag Nag Nag Wife Creatures

As married life goes it naturally has it's ups and downs and it's when the downs seem to make life really depressed is when this sort of behaviour needs to be addressed. If you don't want to read on then consider 10 ways to Dump someone with some funny ideas for Dumping that irritating boyfriend or girlfriend!

A nagging wife is someone who has gotten quite comfortable at dishing out the orders, you know the type, the ones who leave the list of jobs that need doing as soon as on the fridge in the form of a post it.

These horrible wife creatures must be stopped and I believe I've come up with 9 top ways to deal with a nagging wife, so take notes, you never know when you'll need to refer back to these 9 tips for effective wife management.

Number 1: Always create a space for yourself, a shed, a room. Somewhere to retreat from the nagging when it erupts. Your best hobby is done in this safe haven from the nightmare naggers.

Every bloke should have a hobby to counteract the nagging of a wife.

Number 2: When you feel the nag is about to happen, just go out to the pub, or go for a walk, the key here is to be consistent so that every time a nag is about to occur you just get out of the way.

This makes sense, because it saves wasted energy all around and if you are out of the way, then you will not hear it!

Number 3: Ignore the nagging, when she says stuff that needs to change or the things that need doing it's time to either act like you're deaf or just plain ignore her and all she stands for when it comes to the nagging, she'll either get bored because there is no reaction and the nagging ends or she may get pissed off.

So in the event she might get a little angry that you don't listen, then obtain a hearing aid and hatch a small plan to fake a hearing problem, this is a good tactic I recommend you do to combat this terrible affliction, she'll more than likely not bother and just hand you a list of jobs and for that my friends a white walking stick and mr magoo style glasses come in very handy!!

Number 4: When us men are about to be nagged to death we sort of sense it like a sixth sense, so in the event of such an outcome, you could compliment your wife and this cleverly distracts her and she'll just forget for the time being about the prospect of nagging you.

These little compliments can be staggered throughout the week and can be part of an overall plan of gift showering and that sort of thing, although don't overdo it as this could cause more stress later on down the line with such things as they might wonder why you are giving them all of this attention and you are playing the game away from home.

So just be careful with this one, you don't want to be playing into their hands too much!

Number 5: Keep them busy, always try to keep the nagging at bay by taking them out for dinner or just doing something together, with a bit of luck this will also stop them from nagging you because this might be something they nagged you about, so try and second guess them and nip it in the bud before the nag rot sets in.

Number 6: Counteract the nagging by nagging back, this could be called an argument in some parts of the world, but it really isn't, as you are only giving her a taste of her own poisonous medicine.

Nag back at her about the fact of her nagging you, you never know this may stop her from nagging again, or it could be grounds for a future divorce, either way you'll feel better for it.

Number 7: Laugh at her nagging face!

This is one of my favourites as it unsettles them into just shutting the hell up,they get frustrated about the fact that you laughed at them. When they try to nag again immediately after you laughed ....just laugh louder this time!

Number 8: Slap them in the face with a piece of candy floss, don't worry it won't hurt, this just adds to the drama of being nagged, with a bit of luck a piece of candy floss will get stuck on their lips and you could simply lick it off.

Get rid of the nagging with a bit of candy floss kinkyness!!

Lastly number 9: When they are about to nag...say hey look at that dress and your hair...I love it! you really are the best wife in the world and quite sexy too why don't we just hop into a sack and do our very own special dance whilst laying down!

I may revise this list in time as I may come up with some better tips to replace the current ones. But at present these are the best for the current times of nagging wifey misses!!

Nagging Wife

Nagging Wife Flickr Image By YTruly at http://www.flickr.com/photos/ytruly
Nagging Wife Flickr Image By YTruly at http://www.flickr.com/photos/ytruly

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How Do You Deal With Wifes Nagging?

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    • liataylor profile image

      liataylor 19 months ago

      Cracking up over this article! Not only by your tips, but your responses to some of the comments! : )

    • profile image

      Jack 2 years ago

      Question: why do men die before their wives?

      Answer: because they want too.

    • profile image

      Johnb896 3 years ago

      Good web site! I really love how it is easy on my eyes and the data are well written. I am wondering how I might be notified whenever a new post has been made. I've subscribed to your RSS which must do the trick! Have a great day! fedafeegfbde

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      Wayne Tully 4 years ago from Hull City United Kingdom

      Then the Woman must be thick as Pig poop to put up with it in the first place!

    • profile image

      Matty soft 4 years ago

      And what if the woman naggs all the time about her husbands "Cheating"!

    • SweetiePie profile image

      SweetiePie 4 years ago from Southern California, USA

      @Alex,

      Well interesting how you assume someone is alone just because they are single. I know many women in their sixties and seventies who never have kids, and who have active social lives with female friends. I also know some people who had kids who put them in rest homes, and their kids/grandkids never come to visit. It is too bad you have such a negative/rigid way of looking at the world.

    • profile image

      Alex 4 years ago

      @Sweetiepie lol yeah that’s cool till your about 50/60 and your eating a turkey sandwich on thanksgiving ALONE, while your friends are with their grand kids. lol ..

    • profile image

      Mathew 4 years ago

      To live with anybody, especially our nagging partner is nothing but hell on earth. I was married for 38 years, my wife is very hard working-on time-extra clean-loves money more than anything-loves to control other people-never find good in anybody but only the faults-cry about the past etc. I am totally a different person, never loved money but gave away when I see needy people which gave me great joy-not on time-finding good in other people and compliment other people-say sorry for my mistakes. Life was nothing but a painful journey, but holding on to it. Whenever she starts nagging about every silly thing-even a dirty dish on the table will create a big issue and big fight, I leave the place and come back. Then she will be quite normal. The Bible says" blessed are the peace-makers".

    • SweetiePie profile image

      SweetiePie 4 years ago from Southern California, USA

      Best way to avoid nagging of any kind is for two married people to be on the same page before they get married. I have a low tolerance for men who cannot cook or clean up after themselves, and I would not nag them about it. I am just not around long enough to say anything about it, and I go on to do my own thing. Of course my lacking of caring is probably why I am single, but I prefer it that way :). Being single again is always an option for men and women who feel like their spouses nag them too much.

    • waynet profile image
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      Wayne Tully 4 years ago from Hull City United Kingdom

      Yes...be kind and understanding with them because they are generally being that way because of their Wives!

    • profile image

      Sonja 4 years ago

      Any suggestions on how to deal with obnoxious husbands?

    • profile image

      FacetheTruth 4 years ago

      It's time to face up to the truth. Your woman nags you because:

      1) She is a bad person.

      2) You are a weak person.

      It's that simple. Either act like a real man and tell her to shut up OR put up with her hostility towards you.

    • waynet profile image
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      Wayne Tully 5 years ago from Hull City United Kingdom

      Joint bank account usually means you have joint access...if not, step up and take control of your money!

    • profile image

      chris finn 5 years ago

      What if you have a joint bank acount anh she wont let you have aney money and wont let you out. Iam not even aloud to go to the pub to get out of the way so she hase toltel controel of me and what i do .............................. HELP what do i do

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      Married girl 5 years ago

      All but #5 will give your wives a great reason to divorce your pathetic selves. Number 5 is ingenious though- nip it in the bud. She wouldn't have to nag if you did your part.

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      Guy 5 years ago

      Best way? There's a few ways in my experience:

      - Just smile and be overly nice. Not matter how nasty and evil her words are be pleasant and speak softly. Don't give any sort of negative reaction back or it will only escalate.

      - Just give her a long hug, it's like cradling a baby, the volume slowly goes down to silence. Only effective in moderate to low nagging sessions.

      - The backup present. Buy something really nice but hide it. Use this as an emergency measure when the nagging reaches an extremely high level. Give it to her and it can change the worst nagging to the most excitement.

      - "I love you", they like to hear it, so do it. However, don't dilute the meaning of the phrase by using it all the time.

      - This relates to the one above, too much of a good thing gets overlooked and disregarded as something standard. If you get up on a Saturday morning and put your DIY belt on and get straight to it for a few weekends in a row, you will be expected to do that every single weekend until the end of time. If you don't you can guess the outcome. Plan the frequency of your chores carefully. Make something that is special, ACTUALLY special.

      - Make her well aware of what you have done and the complexity that has gone into it. Just laid a new brick wall at the end of the garden? That is no easy task! If you play it off as nothing you are only setting the bar of expectation higher for future tasks.

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      Michelle 5 years ago

      Wow this article should be labeled how to get a divorce from your wife. I feel for you men who has wives who nag about chores.I feel ya but to ignore the woman who is asking or nagging for your time..are you men that stupid?? IF i was a man and my gurl wanted my time i would loooove her to death. Now THE VERY FIRST COMMENT STATED CLEARLY WHY I NAG MY MAN. Now would i be wrong since i go out my way to please you but all the man can do is act like a child and he is passive aggressive now i could be cold hearted.believe me Im not cold hearted or evil but with you men you're soo slow.WHy do i have to beg you to spend time with me? Why do i have to beg you to do something about this marriage you cant manage or even get help or listen. Im tired i bark the same bark with no bite. I would be even more wrong if i separate. i mean really I don't need him to do anything but what it takes to make a Godly man thats it! everything else I am glad to do. I cant believe the pride level on this post and the author of the post cant even respond to the people who is right!! not all of us want chores we want and need your time.

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      NONONO 5 years ago

      Oh NO NO NO! This is not what you do!

      From reading the article, I've gathered that you may be a little too self serving and not enough we serving. Women nag because they feel unfulfilled with their husbands. They feel neglected. If you read Boundaries in Marriage, you would learn that part of that IS your fault.

      When people marry, they are responsible TO one another, but not for one another. Being faithful to your spouse doesn't just include sexual contact. It includes helping with duties, working, and being an emotional support system... to each other.

      What I'm reading is highly disturbing. It sounds like a bunch of male teenagers who never matured. It doesn't sound like you were ever ready for marriage and what it entails.

      Woman nag for the following reasons:

      - he keeps doing the same thing that he knows will upset his wife.

      -he doesn't help around the house, with the baby, etc.

      -he doesn't spend time with her

      -he's not forsaking all others as he vowed to

      -his friends are more important than her and her feelings

      -being taken for granted. You no longer make her feel beautiful, loved, desired, sexy..

      -she picks up on your loss of interest.

      The list could go on.

      I think more issues would be solved with positive, constructive solutions. These will just be the beginning of a marriage, so destroyed, that the countdown to divorce is inevitable.

      You have a duty to love your wife as you love your friends, god, etc.

      You are not doing your part. If you were, you would NOT be nagged.

      If you can't stop being selfish long enough to see that, you will NEVER be successful in ANY serious relationship.

      It's not I, I, I.. it's we, we, we..

      making compromises, even if you don't "enjoy" it.

      A HAPPY WIFE IS A HAPPY LIFE..

      And YOU are what determines that.

      Please listen to me!!

      I'm a newly wed. I am called a "nag" all the time. It hurts.

      This is why I "nag"...

      I go out of my way to make him happy with what I do. If something makes him uncomfortable, I simply don't do it.

      I answer every call, Im always home.. especially when I say i am. I tell him everything. We have good sex.. I'll feel sad if he doesn't want to for 4 days. He is not deprived.

      He doesn't like men looking at me, so I always adjust how I look when we go out. Some people think that's silly, but it's what he prefers and I married him.

      The problem is that he takes me for granted. He is also a hypocrite. He doesn't want me to do something, but it's ok for him to. I complain about that a lot. When I even try to explain how i feel and try to get him to understand that, it's "nagging"..

      He goes on business trips, he goes out to lunch with females in the group, he checks other women out in front of me, sometimes doesn't respond to a text or a call for a long period of time (even when he should be able to) and other things I don't feel like getting into.

      1. I would get hell if I traveled without him

      2. He would get FURIOUS if I was out with any other men without him.

      3. He would get pissed if i was checking out men in front of him.

      4. And he would be very anxious and suspicious if i texted him with one word responses, didn't text for hours, or didn't call him to let him know what i was doing.

      I don't nag about his messes, I don't nag about dinner, i don't nag about anything other than the treatment he gives me. Maybe this is different than what you are talking about, but my husband makes me look like a full on nag to his friends and well as myself.

      Just a few minutes ago, he made me feel like a horrible naggy wife.

      He is out of town, for work, for a week. This is the longest time we have had apart and we just got married a month ago. For some reason, in the morning, he's super short with me. Texts me with one word responses.. and he knows I don't like that. I will say Good morning, I love you! and he said "Hi!". and then didn't respond to me for about a half our or so.. maybe longer. Since he did that to me the other night, and i told him how it made me feel, he said he was sorry and wouldn't do it again. He did the exact same thing again. If i did that to him, he would be so angry.. he wouldn't be able to see straight.

      And this is what I don't get.. some men will continue to do the very thing he knows his wife hates.. and then when she gets upset (because it feels like he either doesn't care or doesn't value her), it's all her fault and she becomes a nag. That is not fair... and it hurts.

      I BEG YOU to just step back, look at your wife, look at yourself, try to see if you could be doing something to fulfill her emotionally, make her feel loved, beautiful.. wanted, desired.

      It can't be all her problem. You are contributing by your lack of contribution. Remember, you have a duty to love your wife.. respect her..take care of her..protect her..

      If you do, you will have it all in return.

    • profile image

      Dave G. 5 years ago

      Ya know a muzzle might work... but the best thing to do is tell her ("Look,.. !, Your like a dog that won't Stop Barking. !") If ya keep it up! I'll tie ya up in the back yard where no one can hear ya, with a pan of water..... and a dog house... and wouldent it be a shame if i got distracted by the Game on t.v on a day where its over hundred, and forgot to bring you the water pan back!... Smile and Ignore... ;) the image in your brain will ease the pain..... ("Don't ever really do this!") but it is a nice escape from her flapping mouth! Lol!

    • waynet profile image
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      Wayne Tully 5 years ago from Hull City United Kingdom

      Yeah right....that's your excuse for nagging I reckon! lol!

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      Donna 5 years ago

      A Wife nags because his husband acts like a stupid jerk

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      Kevo 5 years ago

      @Nat ... my man that is really sad, but at the same time I respect you for finding a way to deal with your problems without making them worse. My problem is when mine nags at me it makes me want to explode and I don't have the option to avoid her because she is too involved in my daily life. I hope after 40 years things have gotten better for you. To all you men, lets shoot one down for all the pain woman cause us and the beauty they bring at the same time.

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      carol 5 years ago

      A real man will step up and make sure she has no reason to nag. He won't need to be asked to take out garbage, bring home a flower a couple of times a month, take her to dinner once a week. He won't be texting others or leaving his things out, expecting her to "take care of it." He'll almost never be late to an engagement. Guys, stand up and be a man. It's your fault if you've caused her to be upset with you.

    • waynet profile image
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      Wayne Tully 5 years ago from Hull City United Kingdom

      Yes I hope it was a joke too.....it should be lol!

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      marty 5 years ago

      Gee Carmon by merely reading your post you seem quite an ample nagger, just waiting to turn some honest fella's life to shit

    • waynet profile image
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      Wayne Tully 5 years ago from Hull City United Kingdom

      Good on you...What's an elph?

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      carmen 5 years ago

      I am not obsessed with housework.The trick is not to have things laying obout so even if the house is not so clean all the time it doesn't show so much.I work same ours as my hub, but i don't know why i end up doing all the housework. I mean are men men or are they just children? I don't need anyone to tell me to clean up or tidy after myself, I mean you don't have to be too smart to know that things pile up and that there are no elphs coming to clean overnight.And then we are taken for granted never appreciated. I am not a nagger, no man will turn me into one. I just choose not to live with an inmature person.

    • profile image

      Chew baca 5 years ago

      Sean 7 weeks ago

      I Just burned my house down with my wife and children inside that solved it

      I just saw that comment fuckin funny... I hope it was a joke

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      Nat 5 years ago

      I solved the whole problem ! Since the day we were married I just hadn't talked to her nor have associated my self with her. Married 45 years and had sex once then the nagging started. I moved to our basement and she has the upstairs and the I worked 40 plus years on the midnight shift and took no vacations. That way I ddn't have to be home. She finally got tired of listening to herself bitch and moan. That worked for me and solved probably alot of problems.

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      ads 5 years ago

      why not just lower their confidence by just not caring and when shes about to blow increase it in a nice way this should keep you from getting nagged forever.

      but don't take advantage of it as it could probably cause severe drawbacks[bedroom]

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      Nicolette 5 years ago

      i've got this nagging, sad to say, fiancé that just wont leave it alone about going out for my b-day i have repeated several times i do not want to celebrate and then i just say yes to going out to shut her up, i mean him up, well i had work call 2 days in advance then told him when i saw him next and he wont stop throwing a fit about me canceling plans. he is talking about u make me feel this....., u make me feel that..., i offered solutions but nothing makes him happy unless he gets his way what do i do to get him to quit his bitching cuz i don't understand the emotional aspect of it.

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      wondering 5 years ago

      The whole she's nagging about things that need to be done or needs to be changed seems like quite a dysfunctional relationship.

      Dysfunctional as in rather than communicate with your wife or perhaps do what needs to be done or changed the first time so she doesn't repeat it you ignore and come up with to me childish tactics.

      I find that often men label nagging as a woman repeatedly telling him what to do in the context of house/child/work duties nagging. I wonder how come they just didn't do it the first time.

      I would like to imagine the male response to 9 Ways To Deal With a Nagging Hhusband with women regradid nagging as his requests for sex. To many men sex is an obligation, entitlement, duty, or expectation buty women can't expect their men to contribute in doing what needs to be done or changed. Perhaps women are best suited to go against the mainstream advice and treat requests from sex as nagging.

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      HelpMEGoD 5 years ago

      In the bible it says that the wife is supposed to be a helper, but for me I don't know if she knows the difference between a helper and a dictator. She is constantly giving "constructive criticism" which is okay on the surface but what makes it worse is that its only in one direction. She gets annoyed when advice or constructive criticism is offered in her direction. (massive ego) A wife who does not listen and thinks its her mission to correct or change you is very dangerous. It can really make the home an unbearable place.

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      Kevin Kelly 5 years ago

      My wife is nagging about something or other. This is while she is vacuming. It is kind of a multitasking nag. Is this rare? I told her how much I love her and how I provided the vacume for her. This did not help. Also it is raining so I can't go ge on my harley and leave. What now?

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      Noname 5 years ago

      All you guys need to read No More Mr Nice Guy

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      Realistic bob 5 years ago

      In the case you divorce , if you are absolutly not capable of enduring her and help , take it like you take a mistake . People do mistake that make them miserable . It's up to you to change it . It's not that ur not good persons or some are better then you. Just that you were not deeply in love .

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      Realistic bob 5 years ago

      Nagging is a lot related to the mental condition of the wife. She is depressed or tired emotionally. Life is not beautiful and the husband is paying for it. Leave her If you can't endure and help her be who she was when you married her . Because this is the worst part of the marriage you signed for . Stand and be there for her as long as you can. If ur drained , separate and divorce before

      dying!!!

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      freindstease@yahoo.com 5 years ago

      I have a nagging wife for the past 18 years.. feels terrible.. sometimes mind goes into an overdrive for suicide..but for a daughter.

      Would like to go in for legal respite but would be terrible for she will go insane and trouble me further for lack of financial insecurity.

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      Sam Mathew 5 years ago

      I am married for more than 38 years, and by nature a

      positive mentality personality, I am very greatly tired

      of life due to the negative and constant nagging of my

      wife. She is very hard working-excessively clean crazy.

      Her fun is constant talk about the past mistakes of our

      life. Nobody can change the past and hearing the same old painful past life is like cutting the hand with a blade. Words are powerful tools to make us happy or

      unhappy.

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      SIMPLY IGNORE 5 years ago

      Hi Kelly from six days ago..

      You sound like a great wife and now your cured hopefully you wont need to search on forums like this anymore! Actually, in a bitchy type of way, i fear your nagging days might return. Remember, once a nagger always a......

      Your ex will enjoy the love of a woman with a heart in the future - that could wipe the smile of your endearing thoughtful face. Enjoy your big house - money talks :-)

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      Laughinguy 5 years ago

      I just laugh along with her nagging. She ends up saying "AWWW" and forgets about nagging! problem solved.

    • waynet profile image
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      Wayne Tully 5 years ago from Hull City United Kingdom

      So mostly Women nag to try and change the Men's ways? This doesn't work! So you got fed up of nagging him and he left or you left? nagging is just downright evil and mental torture!

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      Kelly 5 years ago

      I was a naggi ng wife for many years. Yep, nag nag nag. Nagged that poor guy. Finally out of shear mercy I left the poor soul and now happily married four years and I'm cured!!! I saw the error of my ways and did him a favor. Now he is alone, the lucky devil, and I'm in this happy thing with the person I will grow old with. I have this big gorgeous home to care for and a nice looking guy to keep satisfied. So, I have learned my lesson and I hope all you guys here get the relief my ex did. Keep up the good work!

    • waynet profile image
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      Wayne Tully 5 years ago from Hull City United Kingdom

      Now she will come back as a ghost and nag you still....

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      Sean 5 years ago

      I Just burned my house down with my wife and children inside that solved it

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      Aid 5 years ago

      How to stop a nagging wife? Love her. Understand she is nagging for a reason and it might be connected to another subject. If you love her then understanding a

    • waynet profile image
      Author

      Wayne Tully 5 years ago from Hull City United Kingdom

      I have no problems in the bedroom department...but Women do like to nag anyway!

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      Conrad 5 years ago

      It's a pity to see man comforting each other and telling each other lies. the truth to nagging is that there will be less sex or love making in the marriage...actually the issue is the man will be doing it in a selfish way..just doing what he thinks will satisfy him never ever asking and doing what the wife enjoys..this leaves the wife unsatisfied and if this continues causes nagging and so many argumnets in the house.

      instead of u guys helping each other in a way that build the marriages and make your marriages enjoyable you are busy teaching each other to create your own hell instead of homes..shame on you.

      whenever you c a man complaining about nagging it clearly show/tells us that he is a very bad perfomer in the bedroom because as long as you satisfy your wife sexually...you earn your respect, your adoration, your space and I tel you you will enjoy it.

      Try it and you will tel me.

      If you really love your wife you will not do what you are told here.

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      hmania 5 years ago

      I don t really know what to do , it s always my fault , everything that happens iam the one to be blamed , i don t know how to deal with that , im really so calm and honest but she always accuse me on everything , if i say white she says black , if i say + she says - ... what do i have to dooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!1

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      hmania 5 years ago

      i live in the same situation... this really hurts ....

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      Irh 5 years ago

      I am either confused or extremely undereducated.. I am aparently a youthfull houlligan at the decrepid age of 32, I am the youngest of 5,All other siblings bein femal

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      art hohnke 5 years ago

      my nice is guy and never works so she move up to alberta to live with us sayes to get a job but we live in a small town no buses or cabs 1 hr to city so she can not get a job no driver license ether i tell her to go home where there is buses to get a job my wife yells at me to keep quitshes trying how can she try if living hear can not get a job then sayes in april my girl friend is coming here to visit for two weeks im said go home and me and my wife fight if i say any thing she lived with every body she could so she don't have to work eben her grandfather that sent here up here nobody wants her around because she only wonts to live for nothing i am ready to leave my wife i had anought what should i do thank you

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      Ben 5 years ago

      I like these. Unfortunately i have come to realise that Nagging women tend to disturb Good men...Ladies why don't you leave good men alone!!!.The best way to deal with this is to ignore her, be unpredictable and balance your face between good and bad.

    • waynet profile image
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      Wayne Tully 5 years ago from Hull City United Kingdom

      Henry the 8th had the right idea!

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      Ricky 5 years ago

      The best way to deal with nagging wife is to ignor her when the nagging starts. No matter the provocation, the husband should never hit her. Religious counceling do help to change the attitude of nagging wives.

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      Kenny 5 years ago

      I'm amazed at what people go through in marriage, such that I'm sacred to go into it.

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      Ujagbe 5 years ago

      Life is too short to live it with a nagging wife. In Nigeria (AFRICA), our wives used to be obedient, loyal, devoted and faithful to their husbands. But these days, due to their exposure to western cultures, many are turning to great nag. Mine insults me at the slightest opportunity, even when I'm the bread winner.

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      cfiscryo@aol.com 5 years ago

      Build a shed? Consider a woodshed! I you are a MAN, who provides and has expectations, then do what comes natural! Damn this nonsense fellows, John Wayne did not take it from Mareen, why should you? Stop this puss whining and be a man! Or send her ass packin....

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      SupremeBeing 5 years ago

      TRY THIS METHOD:

      This method is all about timing. Next time you catch her nagging and can feel her poisonous attitude trying to ruin your wonderful day, try this:

      1. Raise your fists up.

      2. Look up to heaven.

      3. Yell something real loud like "ARGGGGGGGGGGGG"

      4. Turn towards front door

      5. Open front door

      6. Get in car

      7. Drive to Macy's

      8. Buy sexy boxers or boxer briefs like Calvin Klein. (hide from wife)

      9. Wear them the next day in front of wife

      10. Smile and bask in the glory of being a man

      In ten steps, you only needed to say one word and your actions have spoken louder than words can.

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      Wayne Tully 5 years ago from Hull City United Kingdom

      Yep! That's about right!

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      Ben 5 years ago

      Sometimes my wife just needs 'her medicine' (aka: a good hour long session of lovemaking).

      Other things that work?

      Just walk away as she's b!tc#ing. Best done as you chortle at her insipid threats to burn down the house, etc etc etc. Yes, you'll still be able to hear her carrying on the other room, but...and this is important...when she walks through your room for something (and she will) donot take up the argument again. This is her plan! She wants to get you started again so she can be the one walking away.

      Stay strong men.

      Hold on to your balls as long as possible.

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      jhon lee 5 years ago

      I did the slapping thing with candy but she got worst and kick my ass.

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      Viking 5 years ago

      I completely understand where you are coming from. I working in the Corporate field for year and now, over the past two years have ran my own home based business. We've been married for 15+ years. I hardly ever go out, even when I was working in the Corporate world. Just Saturday I ran into an old College buddy of mine and he invited me to hang with a few of his friends. I figured this was a good idea to get out of the house and have some "guy time"... Boy did I pay for it the next day! All day long she gave me the silent treatment. She threw in little comments like "boy, it was pretty ironic how you ran into him like that", "I wouldn't have met him seeing it's been more than 20 years, that takes guts, etc". Pretty much like I was lying for some reason and meeting a woman or whatever.

      When we were dating I stopped hanging with my buddies and for the most part lost all touch with them. I really have no guy friends to hang with so I figured this would be a good idea to perhaps meet a few new friends through my old college buddy.

      I feel very controlled. Very tied down and very stuck. I'm 43 and this is my life so it seems. To me it's not worth going out with friends if it's going to impact the next weeks or months negatively. Just this morning we got into another tiff. She told me she was angry because when I got home, at 11:36 (I was the first guy to leave the bar by the way because I didn't want to get home "too late")... I didn't go in the bedroom to say goodnight. I told her I LOOKED in the bedroom and she was sleeping (which I thought she was)... She said she wasn't sleeping... BUT, she never lifted her head, moved or anything. I certainly wasn't going to wake her up to say goodnight.

      No matter what I do is wrong. I just can't have male friends. After 15+ years of marriage this is now my life. I could take a stand and tell her, "this is the way it needs to be, I need guy time", but that's easier said than done as the repercussions just simply are not worth it. She will make my life far too miserable... So I truly feel your pain.

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      Wow 5 years ago

      I feel dumber after reading this article.

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      deedub 5 years ago

      well i will say it is not always grapes but life is good

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      Wayne Tully 5 years ago from Hull City United Kingdom

      I love this discussion....many thanks to all participants!

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      Mr.Prick 5 years ago

      Interesting conversation piece. A conversation that could not go on in any public meeting without the declaration of war at some point.

      Anyway......

      I met my "wife" about 11 years ago. She followed me around town trying to get my attention for about a year before I engaged in any kind of relationship with her. I should have known then that she had nothing better to do than the find a guardian/provider. I was friends with her ex boyfriend that had left her to deal with a child on her own. I used to give him sh!t for letting the two of them rot while he roamed around uncaring. I took it upon myself to provide some of the things she would need to feel good......a mothers day card, a visit just to sit and talk over coffee etc. no sex at this point! I was not interested in being a father, just in being the friend she didn't have.

      Well, naturally things progressed and we ended up having some romance. The ex boyfriend warned me of her behavior and, of coarse, I paid no mind. A few months later she made a suggestion that I move in with her.... her friends were searching for an apartment downtown and I could give them mine and everyone would be happy. I kept the apartment in my name, subletting it out (in case all failed).

      I thought everything was going smoothly. She worked part time as a waitress and I commuted 250km a day to work. I would come home from work at around 6:30 or 7:00 and do some chores, cook dinner (to her delight, since I really can cook better than average).

      One day she came home and the house was cleaned, dinner done , child settled, everything peachy. She complained that I was taking over the house. I really thought that I was doing things to make her happy and, in turn, make me happy. So I sit down with her to talk things over. She is over barring and when I try to hold her hand and talk nicely about my 'good intentions', she wants no part of the conversation. She just wants to make her points so crassly and then have me move on feeling hurt. When I suggest that my feelings are hurt, she goes on to tell me I am a whiner and too sensitive. I try not to be too effected and move the conversation to another subject.

      Next day comes and all was smoothed over rather nicely. So a few weeks later I am sitting on the porch having a beer (my one beer a day after work)and she's talking to me out the window and I am answering her from there and enjoying the serenity of the yard. Suddenly the door whips open and she with fists in the air tells me, "You are not listening to me", and proceeds to give me two wallops front hand and then across again with the back hand. I am stunned as I can't believe what has just happened. I was just struck by a woman. Never mind 'woman'. Man or woman, I would have been just as stunned. This turns ugly. I will not tolerate that and grab her by the neck, up against the siding of the house and raise my voice to tell her, "If she touched me like that again, I would kill her." So know I have assaulted her and uttered death threats.....my fault right??? I tell her that it was a reaction to her action and that any human being in their right mind would have done this or something similar. So a few dats go by and she basically forgets what she has done and fully remembers me assaulting her. The frustration is now mounting.

      This kind of thing was happening on a regular basis and I tracked the movement and exchanges in good times and bad times. So when I was ready and felt the timing was right, I confronted her with the 'calender' of events. When this would happen and that would happen. You would think she would see this as a chance to learn about our relationship and prevent outbreaks. But she totally took offense. "I don't have a monthly cycle", she argues. "I won't be put into the same category as the rest of women", she cries. I swear to you people that I tried at all costs to work around the problem with gentleness and understanding. To no avail, sadly.

      As far as she was concerned I could do nothing right. I would move the picture there or the lamp over here....wrong and wrong again. Once I cleaned the whole living room. like a spring cleaning. Walls, baseboards, windows, everything out then everything back in clean. So I rearranged the furniture and made everything cozy for her return. thinking all the while how impressed I was and she will be so very happy. She gets in the door and sees the living room changed, "who told you to do that. I don't like it this way". in her bitchiest tone. I feel I have wasted me time and feel hurt. It seems that being a man means that you don't get hurt feelings. Having a heart makes you some faggot and you should just run off with the other faggots.

      After a while of this I gave up trying to do this and that to make her pleased and did almost nothing but wait for her orders..... that way I could do no wrong. This behavior makes her mad now. She doesn't want to delegate tasks she just wants me to do things. I tell her I am not willing to take the risk of doing the wrong things at the wrong time......blah blah blah.

      I have only touched on the first few years of the relationship. I have lost hope in the thought of having a relationship built on mutual respect. My tolerance level has gone to sh!t. Now when a problem arises, instead of trying to talk sense to the senseless. I go right off the handle. To the point that I am assured she will not respond further. She thinks she in justified in making her sh!tty comment because she doesn't yell and scream. Where I will and I don't care too much who is in the area anymore. Be it her parents, my parents, the kids, or the cops. I just don't give a rats ass anymore.

      So I have lost all control over myself and she is there on the side lines laughing at the show I put on. Everyone agrees then that it must be my fault and she can do no wrong because they don't see the way she is behind closed doors.

      My biggest mistake people....... I should have charged her the first time she hit me. And got rid of her right then. Why is it that people want to hold on to something like that? what makes us so sure things will change and there is hope for the future? You think it's love?

      I tried to live without her for a while. 1.5 years later I found myself back in the same situation.

      I am only 40 yrs old, but I am sure I will die soon. Anyway, she knows I am worth more dead than alive. Too bad for her future consciousness.

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      Wayne Tully 5 years ago from Hull City United Kingdom

      I do pretty much everything whilst she sleeps and does nothing, but then she has been ill the last couple of years!

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      Jak 5 years ago

      Most people here who commented are not really having big issues but they as a couple made it huge. All you have to do is to talk and find the context of any argument. I work 18 hours a day i.e. 5 days a week but on weekend i keep my wife out of kitchen and help her in all house duties. I look after all duties of my daughter too. This husband and wife relation is all about mutual understanding.

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      Wayne Tully 5 years ago from Hull City United Kingdom

      Yay! Good luck!

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      A Pissed Off Wife 5 years ago

      This website is 9 ways to ruin a marriage. I know if my husband did those things to me, it would send me over the edge.

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      Marie 5 years ago

      I get a sinking feeling when he finds something to whinge about as I kick myself. Why did I forget that one thing? Then the whole night is ruined. I try to laugh it off or say nothing and he walks around with a face like a slapped arse for the rest of the evening. Its like I've physically hurt him or something. It's so petty and ridiculous.

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      Marie 5 years ago

      I wrote a first part to this.... My other half nags constantly pick pick mr cynical. It gets tiring. I'm a very positive person. Always up for sex and make a big effort to fulfil his fantasies, cook and clean to perfection, make him feel good about himself. 11 years and he was my first and only. He feels too secure I think. I am loyal and put up with a lot of shit to be honest. Yet when he comes home to an immaculate house in candlelight with a home cooked meal and me scantily clad he enjoys the benefit and then finds something to whine or moan about. It usually starts with 'you haven't done....' or ' mouldy bread tut tut' or the lids off the toothpaste or why don't I make the bed in the morning or 'you can't wear that' or 'my mum wouldn't or Greer it does my head in. I never nag him I couldn't give a shit about wet towels and socks and toilet seats. Lifes too short. Some people can find the little bad things and zoom in on them. One thing I will say though is that women need affection and tenderness and so do men. Both people have to pull their weight and look after each other. He is more selfish than I am and unfair in his nagging but I love him anyway. Sometimes I do want to knock him out though. I don't have that sense of entitlement like I can talk to someone like their a kid. It would make me feel awkward telling a grown man to ' pick his socks up' etc and we've been together 11 years. Nags can be women or men but they usually seek out a non nag to torture

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      Marie 5 years ago

      I also kept the relationship secret for 8 years for his selfish benefit as he didn't want grief from his family and now they know I've left my family and friends and moved a couple of hundred miles to be with him and expected to kiss their arse every day which is fine. I know I'm coming across as a nag.... But I'm just spewing this out here not at home. I think I have made all the sacrifices although I totally appreciate how hard it was for him to tell his family, it wasn't easy for me either coming from a strict Irish family. And by the way, his mum has clarified that I keep house and cook way better than any of her five daughters so that puts an end to the western/ eastern debate. anyway I just saw him grinned and called him a naggy noggin. Said I've found a hub page that has made me realise who the nag actually is. He just sat their like a fish opening and closing his mouth. Told him I fancy a bit of quiet time to chill have a beer and watch tv and that he can go see his kids and nag them. I laughed while I said it an gave him a big hug and kiss. I left him looking dazed. Something for him to think about....

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      Marie 5 years ago

      My boyfriend is a big nag. I only looked this up because in the last coue of months he had started calling me a nag. We've been together for 11 years. All of your suggestions above are the routine he follows whenever I am upset with his constant nagging he just disappears. No presents though just a ton of abuse. He's the only boyfriend I've ever had and I look after him really well. Mentally emotionally physically and in the home. His happiness comes first but he still nags and it does my head in. He can come home to perfection, meal on the table spotless house me sitting there looking sext with a smile on my face but its like he walks around looking for something to pick on and when he finds it ( be it the bread is going mouldy or I've left the old of the toothpaste) he will find it and whinge. He comments on my appearance, the house, I'm not even allowed to speak to him in a certain tone of voice. I am a western woman but was bought up traditionally. He is Asian. Nothing I do seems good enough. He goes running off to his mummy all the time. Can't believe he called me a nag because I found text messages on his phone to another woman that just didn't sit right with me. I'm no flirt and he is. It bugged me. I didn't make a big fuss just got pissed off and I get called a nag and ignored and trodden on.he can just be a big baby and I'm expected to tread on eggshells and give in to his every whim. He works and I don't bit that's only been the last year before then we had our own places and jobs. I resent being called a nag by someone who nags everyone constantly and has been for the last 11 years. I would never expect him to help in the house or do his own shirts or anything. All I want from him is love respect and protection of my feelings. I'm a young attractive woman there is 14 years between us. Is it too much to ask that he doesn't sent provocative messages to fat short middle aged women? Living with a nag is hell but I can cope with it because I love him and I've never called him a nag I've been loyal faithful and adoring. Some people are beyond help.

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      Dee Dee 5 years ago

      Wanna Here is something from a different perspective. All we all want is a little romance. Some great sex and a person who will step up to help us. They married you because they LOVED you. They probably still love you. Don't ignore them and talk to them. Make them feel sexy and they will do the same in return. Ignoring your signifigant other will only put him/her in defensive mode that will in turn push you farther away. Its sad to see marriages end so abruptly nowadays. Nobody wants to "work" for it anymore. It seems like everyone is so used to pointing the finger at the other person. Being part of the problem not the solution. Its all about "Me, me, me, me!". When did marriage become such a single affair. Last time I checked it took two to tango. More of us should experiment in a BDSM relationship. Lol.

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      Sandra 5 years ago

      What if it's your HUSBAND that is a constant, aggravating, pitiful, stomach wrenching, whiny, bitching nag???

      I'm not kidding, guys. There are really a few women out there (like me) who don't nag; can't stand nagging; and want to get the hell away from a nagging husband.

      Someone help me!!!!!

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      Shasta Matova 5 years ago from USA

      This is a good way to get divorced. If you want to avoid nagging, simply do what she says the first time, so she doesn't have to remind you. Better yet, remember your responsibilities without having to be reminded!

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      Roci 5 years ago

      The 9 tips you have given is the worst thing you could do in a relationship. You may stop the wife from nagging in the short term but in the long term your relationship will suffer as communication will stop altogether. 90% of the the time she is desiring emotional intimacy and a true partnership.

      It is better to use this approach. http://www.nathancobb.com/couple-communication-tip...

      If you do not feel like speaking make an appointment to discuss the issue with her. Better yet, make a time every day where both partners can discuss important matters.

      If the issue is a minor try a honey do list.

      Most importantly, make sure you instill love, respect and trust within the relationship. Do not forget something everyday that makes her feel special.

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      Joe 5 years ago

      Hey Jimbo at the top...your wife hasn't talked to you since......lucky you

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      bolu 5 years ago

      it is better to stay alone than be with a nagging woman, even the bible affirms this. Of all of u that has posted a comment or another here, wu amongst u was a virgin when married?(women). Or who amongst u married the gal he dis-flowered?(men).

      My guess; none of u.

      My point is most of u ended up wt d back-up guy or gal, not your 1st true love.

      As d lord liveth, nagging shall never depart from the home of an uncircumcised woman because her foreskin is where her nagging dna lies.

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      Jimbo 5 years ago

      My wife nags all the time, do this do that. I spend all my spare time with my child, and then when I have a 5 minute break, I get it in the ear. She makes ground rules, and when I stick to them: I get it in the ear. When I demonstrate to her, her unresonabiity bout issues: I get it in the ear. Told her yesterday, just 'cause she thinks it; she isn't always right... Hasn't spoken to me since!!!!

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      scott 5 years ago

      My wife drives me crazy with how shitty she is all the time

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      woman 5 years ago

      I as a woman feel that nagging should be removed from existence

      hey women, give the men a break and let them be

      don't complicate his life

      just surve him, that's your job and he will treat you better someday

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      Man 5 years ago

      All Women need to be controlled by men and even when they should be allowed to speek

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      Me 5 years ago

      These are hilarious!!! However, keep in mind men that not smoking, drinking, and gambling etc, is no excuse for working your wife to death.

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      Jake 5 years ago

      So the solution put out by women (for the most part) is to listen to your wife, give her attention, buy her things, make her feel special, and give her what she is 'nagging' about and this will help eliminate the nagging.

      Most men will try this to some degree, but it will never work for any real man. It only works for doormats who can no longer be called men.

      No. The solution is NOT to reward bad behaviour (nagging). The more you reward it, the more it will be used against you.

      So what is the real solution ?

      Let me tell you. It's called being a man. When she starts harassing you with a nag put on your man face and tell her politely:

      1) "I am in no mood to listen to this, I heard what you said and I will take it into consideration now stop talking to me or I am going to get mad."

      If your wife is sensible she will get the message but it sounds like most of your wives are bad people so they will probably continue with the harassing nag.

      When the nag continues and you get a chance to speak politely say:

      "I just told you I will take it into consideration, if you continue talking to me I am NEVER going to do what you are asking for."

      If she continues harassing, say the following:

      "That's it I gave you ample warning, now I am NEVER doing it, end of discussion."

      Of course the nag will continue, if not get worse. Every few minutes of her nag cut in with the words:

      "I warned you fair and square, it's your own fault."

      Things will likely get heated but the important thing is to stick to your guns, repeat the last line as many times as it takes and ensure you NEVER do whatever she was nagging you about and make sure she understands you will NEVER do it because she wouldn't shut up when you gave her ample warning.

      You will likely have to do this many times; eventually she will stop nagging when you give her the first warning.

      The next step is very important: If she heeds the warning, ensure you reward her by doing what she asked. Make sure she understands you did it because you appreciated her respecting you enough to listen to what said.

      The 2 key parts are:

      1) Ensuring she understands you will NEVER do what she is nagging you about (when she wouldn't stop nagging).

      2)Do what she is nagging about IF she listened to your first warning.

      Trust me, this is the solution for real men and I'll explain why.

      For the most part you still end up doing what she nagging you about but on your own terms and you are not taking orders from her; you are doing it because she listened to you and didn't try to harass you into it.

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      Cj 5 years ago

      Do men ever stop to think that there is a reason behind the nagging. It is usually from the frustration of dealing with the same issues/problems with the husbAnd. Usually because the man does not want to do his part! Just help out your wife, men, and she will not nag!!!!

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      M_H_K 5 years ago

      Nagging is a disease and it a form of abuse.

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      Mindiga 5 years ago

      Guys, I hanged on for 14 years trying to keep it cool. After that she got bored of me ignoring it and being to cool and thrown me out. My message it that nagging should be discussed and resolved within short time. If it persist it is time to divorce, because if you are unable to resolve a nag, there will be bigger issues coming down the road which will sink you down. So, you should actively communicate with your wife and teach her to express her frustration in a graceful manner, to be able to consider your point of view and to come to a suitable compromise where both sides are making reasonable effort. If she refuses to work this way, just run away as fast as you can and as far as you can. Uncooperative wife will just be demanding more and more and putting you in trouble to work more and more to keep compromise going. If she nags too much just leave. Nagging is destructive, the same way as verbal abuse and should not be tolerated at all. Now I am starting again and not repeating same mistakes. It definitely works better.

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      Bri58 5 years ago

      Okay here I am and this December I and my wife will celebrate 20 yeas of marriage. To all you men that are having problems with your wives, I've seen and heard it all from mine. My wife is a professional nagger. I am her wipping stick and the blame for everything that goes south. There is absolutly no way that your going to win unless you just plane knock her out just to shut her up, but we all know that is not the answer. I cook, clean, do all of the yard work, do all of the laundry most of the time each week and what I get in return is nothing. My wife expects it to be done. I work full time as does she but to her that doesn't matter. It's all about control. My best advise is to ignor ignor and ignor some more. She will finally get the picture that her nagging is having no effect on you at all. They want you to fight back to stay in control. All fighting does is create bad feelings. Just let it go and walk away. Give her a smile from time to time say yes dear and don't let it get to you. I know it's hard not to tell her what you think but trust me this is the best method.

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      Annie 5 years ago

      Iam a 22 year old woman and I live with my boyfriend of four years. I don't nag but my boyfriend nags me. I work almost 40 hours a week and go to school full time. I love my boyfriend so much and he does have two jobs but he only has two jobs to get a little over 40 hours a week. And my boyfriend does help by picking up his clutter, which he hates. We just got a puppy so that does add stress, but he constantly nags me to take of the dog more and clean more. And he constantly calls me to ask me what is for dinner. Honestly I don't mind cooking and cleaning and taking care of the dog but for the last couple of months I have been so busy with longer hours at work and school becoming more hectic, so the apartment is not as clean and I have not been cooking as much. I also have not been cooking as much because I always have to pay for food at the grocery store. I really don't understand that because we pay for all the bills 50/50 which I make sure happens every month on my end. He also nags me if I go out with my girl friends but he goes out all the time. I just don't understand I really really try but it never seems to make him happy. We have had talks about this and tried to communicate but it always turns into what I'm doing wrong all the time. I'm just really sad because I love him and I don't nag him so let me know of anyone has advice?

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      punchingbag 6 years ago

      Im not married to her, but might as well be. My "wife" (so to speak) is the love of my life and childhood sweetheart. We were together for years in hs(during which she cheated and broke up with me thrice) until she dumped me out of the blue at a friends house where I could do absolutely nothing for some college guy(who ended up raping her repeatedly for years). She completely cut me off and threatened to get a restraining order after I called her after a year when I came back for basic training. Even so, when she recontacted me late last year I, of course being decent and capable of not holding grudges ad infinitum, responded. After rubbing her current affair with her ex's best-friend/roommate in my face for weeks, she finally came on to me. Being that I love her tremendously I of course wanted to try again. All downhill from here

      At first, she seemed cool. Sex every day. Endless weed. She cant cook a sandwich, but I don't really care about that. I didn't have a mother really so I don't expect a bunch of domestic niceties. Even so, I was snapped on for her dog eating food on the table and "not caring". Just bs. Then she started hitting me and spitting. Somehow this isn't abuse to her. I never hit her but I would restrain her so she didn't follow me out of the room. This was "okay" because I "didn't care about her" so she can attack me. (wtf?) After telling her in a calm rational way why that is wrong and explaining to her that it is particularly hurtful from being abused for 18 years by my schizo mother, that I may react badly to that. Of course this had no impact. So when I push her back that some how makes me a "worthless abusive pos" who "fractured her back and threw her around". She already had a fractured spine from a work injury and has low bone density from celiac disease. Even so, I apologized sincerely and profusely for my reaction. Somehow saying "sorry for X, this is why X happened" is blaming her and dodging guilt, even though the statement is an admission of guilt. This all might be my fault, but she is Bipolar (diagnosed) so I have to fight tooth and nail to get her an appointment, but anytime I raise that as a likely influence on her abusive nagging, she attacks me. Living with a sick animal. Unfortunately Im dependent on her as she would cry and plead for me to move in and to not work. Of course this doesn't stop her from screwing her ex-boyfriend and laughing about it in my face. Im currently waiting to be hit by a car

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      rommel 6 years ago

      I have been married for 14 years now with my nagging wife. We're both physicians.I hope she learns to appreciate what i do and don't do for her. I don't smoke, gamble, drink nor do i respond to other women's advances. I love my wife. We have 2 kids. I work in my clinic the whole day and operate on patients late in the evening. She still nags me especially when it comes to me giving favors for my brothers and parents.My youngest brother is staying with us. I'm just trying to help him out til he finds work, but my wife keeps on nagging that he's not my responsibility. I'm a physical person, i trained in tae kwon do and weights. But I try my best not to lift a finger against my wife. Sometimes her nagging gets so severe that i want to bang either my head or hers on the wall. But I'm still holding on even though I don't know what to do anymore.

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      epiphany 6 years ago

      the root cause of the nagging seems to be the background of wife.usually when your father in law is inferior to you the wife will always try to drag you down to that level in order to justify her father. the father in law will try to get even with you out of jealousy(consciously or unconsciously) by bringing your children to his low level.never marry a woman with a past history of violence.

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      thereisnoanswer 6 years ago

      i was with my wife for nine years, from 21 until 30. At the beginning of our relationship things were great. Then after about 2 years she was a nagger and me being so young didn't understand what this disease was, but I had no intention of sticking around to find out. So I told her its over and I'm moving out, thanks and goodbye. She broke down in a bad way and, having pity on her, I decided to give her another chance. I promised myself that whatever happened I would stand by her through thick and thin. 2 Years later the nagging was back in full force. Once again I told her thanks and goodbye, only this time I was bluffing. Fortunately she took the bait and the nagging came to a sudden stop. Another 2 years down the line and the demon was back. At this stage I was ready to try a different approach because I really loved her. We got married. Things changed quickly. Now she started ignoring me as she knew the nagging was not going to impress me any more. Another 2 years go by and she loses interest in me completely. She says she doesn't love me any more and its over. I freaked out. After all the crap I had put up with over the years she throws me out like a dirty rag. It took me a couple of years to recover from the disappointment but I kept contact with my ex and we are still friends. After the dust settled we got divorced in civil court without lawyers and parted on good terms. The judge didn't understand why we were getting a divorce because we obviously didn't have any bad feelings towards each other. After the heartache subsided I realized what a blessing the divorce was and that my wife had actually released me from years of abuse. It was time to live again!

      I perfected the art of short relationships. Women are always so wonderful during the beginning of a relationship. So after 2 to 6 months when the demon raised its ugly head, I cut free and moved on to the next one. Its like they say with sportsman, always stop when your game is at its best.

      Some therapists would tell me that this is not the way to go. They told me that if I go on like that I will land up old, alone and miserable. I should get married and become a father. This unsettled me and motivated me to keep looking for the perfect woman.

      One day while at a club I meet this woman and we land up spending a lot of time together. We hit it off great and I could speak to her about anything. I thought this was it, I finally found my perfect match. Then, 5 years after my divorce, I get remarried. During the wedding preparations things already start going wrong. I put my worries aside and think it's just her nerves as the big day comes closer. I even get one of my best friends to have a word with her about her behaviour but it only makes things worse. A year into the marriage and I can already tell how things are going to turn out. I have tried everything. I did ALL the housework, earned the money, took her on nice holidays, spent time with her family. I am the butler, cleaner, cook, entertainer and sponsor in my little home and do you think I get a second of peace? You must be crazy! After all shes a woman isn't she? I live in fear. I fear going home in the evenings so I work late and go to gym after work. I fear my wife coming home when I'm home alone so I either go to bed before she gets home or I go out before she gets home. Whenever I am at home I make sure everything is clean and tidy and there is food in the fridge so that there is less chance of attack. But she always finds a reason to be angry with me.

      I can see that pretty soon I'll be back doing what makes me happy and anyone who has a problem with that, obviously knows something that I don't.

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      same boat 6 years ago

      Really appreciate got a clue’s comments, along with so many of the men who have posted here. I think it’s more of a gender thing here, or just that type of personality, I used to think the same way as some of the posters here, these self absorbed, spoiled rotten, me first, what have you done for me lately American women. I went way out of my way to find an Asian woman, because I was told that they really know how to appreciate their men, loving, caring, and they age better than their American counter parts. I found a wonderful Filipino woman. We have been married almost 15 years, and I love her so much, but … she seems to go from Angel too Demoness, in short, she’s a nagger.

      If she doesn’t get it immediately, she tells us over and over and over on infinitum. And even if she does get here way she just moves on to the next gripe. And at this stage in our lives it’s even worse for me as … well she’s right. Too clarify that, we were both displaced from our previous jobs, (they went to Mexico). Well along with losing my job I lost my mother, too cancer. She used to babysit our sons while we worked, and I am very picky about who takes care of our boys. I have been without work for a long time. So she says if we only both work we will be okay. However our past does not support this view. It always seems that “if only” starts off many of her complaints. “If only” you made more money, (said about the jobs I have had since we have been married) I should mention that before we were married I had the same job for 10 years. (The economy was better and no kids to find a babysitter for) “If only” we didn’t live in this house, “If only” you would do everything I say. She is also of the opinion that she is always right. Not my words hers. And sadly “If only” I had never married you. I sometimes wish I were dead, But then I feel bad about feeling that way, cause what would happen to my sons? We are very close.

      She has nagged me about growing my beard back something I had when we first started writing, sent her a picture and everything, she knew. So I finally shaved it off. But I don’t eat right, I don’t walk right, I don’t wash the dishes or clothes the right way, I don’t discipline the children right, I sometimes think I can’t do anything right according to her. When she’s in her angel mood, it’s great, our sons respond better, (you would think that might be a clue for her) and everything is really great. But when she metamorphoses into her demon state, the best us guys can do is try not to upset her too much. Talking with other guys, we have come to the conclusion that all women must be schizophrenic, or are really possessed by both an angel and a demon. What’s a guy to do, can’t live without them, but sometimes it’s really, really hard to live with them.

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      gotaclue 6 years ago

      I have constantly struggled with going on and on about things that my children or husband do that upset me. I have felt that they "don't get it;" they need to hear my reprove over and over to "get it". I've been trying to work on this part of myself and today I had a conquering moment. My son called me at 12 noon, from school he never calls at this time and from the sound of his voice the pit in my stomach dropped. I immediately started thinking the worst. He began speaking with a tone in his voice that said "I know I'm going to get Mom's wrath". He told me he had accidentally left his retainers on his lunch tray, he tried to go back for them but it was too late, they went through the shredder. I felt the words working their way from my brain to my mouth, I wanted to say "I told you to be careful, I told you that they are expensive to replace and now you will have to use some of your hard earned money to replace them...; and on and on. Then, I stopped my brain. I thought about what strength it must have taken to call me and take responsibility for his actions. He knew he would have to help replace them, he knew he had made a mistake, he knew. I simply said "Thank you for calling and telling me, I love you." I think my son walked around school the rest of the day wondering who had replaced his mother, or if he had called the wrong number. At that moment, I truly felt bad that I hadn't done this more often as he was growing up. All those times I nagged could have been replaced with acknowledgment of what he did and consequence, period; Followed by constant reminders that regardless "I love him." Yes, it will be tough to take his money to replace them, he worked hard for it, but I know that by accepting responsibility and being accountable instead of making excuses he is growing into a young man I am truly proud of. And I hope that by my response I am also a mom he can be proud of in return. I am so thankful that I talked to someone who knew how to cut to the chase, with words of wisdom. From someone who is working daily to be a better mom and wife.

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      KH 6 years ago

      Fed Up - I read through your entire story, I am a women and your woman is crazy!! She is ungrateful, selfish, and NEEDY!!!! You sound like a great guy who is getting the life sucked out of him. At 28, you should be having fun in life, enjoying this phase with your daughter. Good luck

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      she is nagging right now 6 years ago

      HELP