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A Dating Guide For Young Girls - Picking The Right Guy

Updated on January 11, 2014

No Exceptions

First things first, girls today have gotten this illusion in their heads that they’re going to be the reason some guy changes his entire life. Becoming a better person, and straightening things out in his life. Stop that, you can say that’s not trying to change him but it is. No man in the history of the world has changed for a woman. Thinking you’re the exception to that is going to get you hurt with big side of disappointment.

This? This is swag
This? This is swag

How Does He Dress?

His clothes are probably the fastest and easiest way to tell what a relationship with him is going to be like. If he doesn’t care enough to make himself look decent in public, it says a lot. If he cares so little about himself, why would he care about you? This isn’t to say every guy should obsess over his appearance to be a decent partner. That’s a little weird. However, washed hair and a clean shirt can go a long way. Not to mention knowing how to properly use a belt.

Respecting His Mother

This one can be tricky, since not everyone has a mother in their life. Generally there is a maternity figure in there somewhere you can go off of though. If not, just look at the relationship with whatever guardian there is. Look at how he talks to his mother, and if he respects her. Everyone get’s irritated with their parents, and we all get into fights with our parents. That’s normal, but he shouldn’t be so willing to raise his voice at her and disrespect her constantly. How he treats her is how he is going to treat you.

Does He Have A Plan?

At about this age he should be at least forming a plan. You’re young, so it’s okay if it isn’t set in stone. By “plan”, I mean his life plan. What does he want out of life? He should at least have some idea. If his plan is to be a famous rapper, evaluate the likeliness of that and see how comfortable you are with it. His plan should be realistic, and he should have some idea of how he is going to get there.

Constructive Behavior

This has a lot to do with his life plan. Just having a plan doesn’t cut it. What’s he doing to achieve his goals? If he sits around playing video games all day and just talks about what he wants to do, he isn’t going to get anywhere. Is he in school, or trying to get into school? Does he have a job at all to save up money for the future? Being constructive isn’t always just about his plan, it can be seen in his day to day life. If he has a problem, does he try to fix it, or does he just whine about it?

General Hygiene

If you’re at the point where you’re starting to think about your future and not dating just for fun anymore, pay attention to his hygiene. Men are messy, for some reason that’s just in their nature. If he’s comfortable going a week without a shower, there’s a problem. We all reach an age where our mother’s don’t have to force us into the bath. If he still hasn’t hit that age, he’s just immature. He’s not going to be a partner, he’s going to be a big child you have to take care of.

Broken Wing Syndrome

This one is about you. The term “broken wing syndrome” refers to finding a bird with a broken wing, bringing home and nursing it back to health. With expectations of the bird loving you for the rest of it’s life for your selfless deed. Birds fly, it’s going leave. I have known a lot of girls who have a tendency to end up with guys who are just pitiful. They need some kind of help, and you’re just the one to help them. Maybe you can help them, but that doesn’t mean he will love you forever. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with a guy who can’t solve his own problems? Maybe he really does need help and can’t do this alone, but chances are the bird will fly. Go for a guy who at least seems like he is trying to help himself, and don’t get your hopes up. These guys are the class A bums, often using girls to get what they need and then leaving.

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    • lilcupcake profile imageAUTHOR

      lilcupcake 

      4 years ago

      Very well put! Dating while you're young really should be about fun. The big point of it though is learn what you want, and what you don't. That takes time, which a lot of people don't consider.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      4 years ago

      Voted up and interesting!

      One of the major flaws young women have when it comes to dating is; expecting the average guy their age is looking to" settle down".

      The average guy in his early 20s either just escaped from his parents' basement or left a college dorm room. He wants to party with his friends, play video games, go to sporting events, have sex, and establish his career path.

      The last thing on his mind is becoming his parents! Settling down with one girl, getting married, taking on a 30 year mortgage, and having children is equivalent to watching their lives flash before their eyes!

      Are they afraid of commitment? No!

      A recent study revealed that by the age 44 over 84% of men have been married at least once! Divorced men tend to re-marry sooner than divorced women. If over 84% of a group does anything you can't say they're "afraid" to do it. I imagine some of the 16% who had never gotten married may be gay.

      Essentially if we accept the fact that most men (actually do get married) then there are probably only two reasons why the guy you're with does not want to get married. 1. (Timing) - He's not "ready" 2. You are not "the one". After all there's 84% he is going to marry someone! (That one hurts).

      It is not uncommon for a girl to date a guy for 3-5 years and after they breakup he becomes engaged to his next girlfriend in a year or less! Did he lose his fear of commitment? or Does he believe (she) is "the one"?

      Your 20's should be used for finding yourself...not someone else

      If a young lady is looking to settle down with the prospects of getting married then she may want to date guys in late 20s/early 30s who have never been married and have established a career path for themselves. Odds are if a young woman is dating a guy in late teens or early 20s he is neither mature or established enough to be ready to settle down. This means she is most likely to experience heartache or disappointment.

      One man's opinion! :-)

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