How To Have A Safe Girl's Night Out - Guys To Avoid
We all know that there are certain dangers a young lady in today's world can be susceptible to. This is not to say that a gal can't go out on the town and have a good time, but there are definitely some precautions to be observed to ensure that you & your girlfriends make it to your morning latte.
First, you have to recognize that there are different types of guys out there. Being able to identify them is key to your survival, not to mention your sanity - so pay attention!
The "I'm Prettier Than You" Guy
This one is really not dangerous in the basic sense of the word. He can be seen in many arenas, most commonly the hip club. He is likely a model, but is also taking a Yoga class at the community college so that he can collect student loans. His hair is more meticulously styled and more lustrous than yours.
He may or may not have posed for some questionable photos just trying to "jumpstart his career" - this isn't good and will damage your possible future children should they ever come across said pics on the net.
He might be nice on the ol' peepers, ladies, but it comes at much too high a price. This boy is high maintenance and unless you're on the lookout for another gal-pal this dude is a dud.
The Wannabe is easy to spot, especially in the clubs. You may be confused and disoriented as he saunters over to you, blinding twelve people as the reflection of dance floor lights bounce off of his gold chain and into their eyes.
His attire will consist of a sideways baseball cap, a sports-related shirt, and hideous sneakers that cost $200.00. These items contain a ticklingly funny irony, in that The Wannabe also wears jeans thirteen sizes too large. Have you ever tried to be athletic wearing ten pounds of extra denim?
Wannabe will likely break the ice with you by saying, "Daaaaaamn, girl" or possibly "Wassup, you fine as hell." He will then seek to impress you by sharing his lifelong dream of becoming a famous DJ. Or possibly a rapper. Or maybe a strip club owner. He may tell you he is already one or all of those things.
While you may think, "hey, Britney seems to like them," don't go there, girl! The Wannabe is trouble with a capital "T." If he doesn't have a baby momma yet, he is likely seeking one to complain to his homies about. The best status you can hope for in a 'relationship' with The Wannabe is to be officially known as his 'bitch.' Pass.
The Married Guy
Married Guy can be seen at clubs and bars looking drunk and awkward. He has a wedding ring tan line and his eyes keep darting to the side as he talks. He also licks his lips a lot. Often, married guy will be sporting freshly colored hair and/or newly brightened teeth.
He will say lots of smart things and will offer to buy all of your drinks, notice your earrings, and look at you as if he's a seaman and you're a mermaid. He may be elusive on the topic of relationships (if not, you've probably got Smooth Married Guy - a whole different beast, and much scarier).
Often, Married Guy can come off as a nice guy. He may well be one, but that's not the point. Stay away from married guy! He has a wife. Seriously. You do not want that kind of drama.
Ladies, Would You Date Married Guy?
The Smooth Guy (aka The Player Guy)
Smooth Guy usually looks good enough (he hasn't looked like Gerardo since the mid-nineties, sorry for that- couldn't resist ol' Rico Suave). He is almost always nicely dressed, well groomed, and can be found in almost any place a woman might go.
Smooth guy is really cool, and often can get you to start a conversation with him. His moves are calculated, like a computer; if this, then that. Ones and zeroes. Watch for the small changes in his facial expression as he moves through his checklist of things he'll do to get you in bed. For example, if complimenting your legs didn't seem to get him anywhere he may wince or twitch and then try another tactic. He has an arsenal of insincere compliments that he is not afraid to use on you.
As soon as you are sure you're dealing with Smooth Guy, get outta there fast sister! Smooth guy has been known to lure, ensnare, and eventually gut even the most wary woman.
There are many more pitfalls when it comes to being a girl out for some fun, but recognizing a few of your biggest potential problems and how to deal with them can be a great start towards a happy, healthy night out.
This is not to say that there aren't a lot of great guys out there, but let's face it - many of them are either taken, gay, or both (I kid, I kid).
Watch for the next installment, where we'll identify and examine more interesting (and sometimes dangerous) specimen, like Predator Guy and Rebound Guy. Shudder.