- Gender and Relationships
A Groom's Guide To His Second Wedding - Part II
Money makes the world go round and weddings are most definitely fueled by cash. You will have to take careful steps to ensure that all financial and legal documentation is properly revised and redrafted when necessary. Some of the documents you'll likely have to modify over and above your wills include title deeds to any real properties, details of retirement savings plans, life insurance policies, and various other documentation.
By all means don't go about this without competent professional assistance. Depending on the extent of your wealth, you may have to engage the services of attorneys, accountants, consultants, and a whole range of other high priced talent. Whatever you have to pay these people to provide you with the information and documentation you require will be a drop in the bucket as compared to the prospect of being left penniless in divorce court.
Prenuptial Contracts are strongly advised from both a legal and financial standpoint although unfortunately they are also the one aspect of any engagement which is the most unromantic of them all. Many women will react to your suggestion of a prenup as a confirmation that you are already looking right past her and setting the groundwork foundations for Wife Number Three, therefore it is a subject which must be approached with serenity and tact. In this day and age it is quite possible that the bride may be the partner with the considerable financial position which must be protected, in which case you really don't have much of a choice but to just shut up and sign on the dotted line.
Your first time around you probably got a free ride from your new in-laws, but you can be assured that on your second wedding you're going to have to foot most if not all of the bill. If you thought that navigating the minefield of the prenuptial confrontations was tricky, just try to ask your second bride if she'd mind going Dutch on her very special wedding day. Good luck in having your relationship survive that question!
Diplomacy and finesse must be displayed at every possible occasion in the wedding. You might find that some guests may present some resistance when it comes to gifts. After all, if your first wedding wasn't that long ago, they might still have residual charges on their credit cards from the gifts they gave you back then. If you and your bride decide to register with a department store, ensure that your list contains more than enough low-priced fun, novelty, or utility items. Don't just give your guests a choice between Rolexes, Prada, and Armani. Whatever gifts you end up receiving, make absolutely sure that you acknowledge each gift in exactly the same manner, regardless of the gift's price tag.
Many of these situations assume that you're the one who's been married before and has kids. There are virtually endless varying incarnations of the "second marriage", as it could be her first and your second, your first and her second, or even the second for both partners, but most of these general rules will still apply. Use your common sense, always keep from escalating touchy issues, and you'll pull through just fine.