- Gender and Relationships
Searching for Sperm-Lesbians Looking for Babies
Sperm more valuable than gold.
When guys are young they squirt their sperm with gay abandon, but when they get older they hold onto it like gold. This was a problem for single women who wanted children in the last century before the start of the commercial sperm bank business. This is my story of searching for sperm
I always thought I would have kids , ever since I was a kid myself. At age 25, my mom had me. So as a teen I figured I had lots and lots of time before I had to have kids. Time to finish school, go traveling, meet a nice guy, get married, and have kids. That nice guy would support me.
By age 24 I found Rob. Despite the fact that I was much more in love with my girlfriend, Flo, Rob and I got married. We did everything on my list: traveled, got a house and jobs. Now it was kid producing time. A married girlfriend offered me cute little baby clothes her baby had outgrown, I tossed my diaphragm and Rob and I got going on it enthusiastically. We enjoyed ourselves. Each month I expected to be expecting…but wasn’t.
Rob tried looser under pants, I consulted my doctor, a nice Jewish woman. She peered into my vagina, poked me down there, even took a swab. I looked through her microscope to see the live sperm swimming inside me. Those little sperm were swimming and swimming, but they just weren’t striking the target. Around that same time I began getting too involved with too many lovely women. I finally realized I was mostly a lesbian. And that romantic magic with Rob just wasn’t there any more. So sadly, that was the end of my marriage.
But I still wanted kids. So I thought, what does a kid need? Loving Parents? Well I was in a life long relationship with my girlfriend Morgan, we were madly in love, couldn’t keep our hands off each other. We would be great parents. A kid needs Security-well I was paying down my mortgage and had a room for a kid. But I needed sperm. Sperm. No problem. Morgan knew these gay guys, Dave and Tim. Tim told Morgan he thought it was a cool idea to have kids. We went over for dinner , sat on the floor, smoked some dope. Tim said “Yea, groovey eh? Cute little kids, baseball, all that kid stuff.” I said “ I ‘ll pay all the bills- you just… like, provide the sperm and play with the kid, like be the dad. Tim said “ Groovey far out , I have lots of sperm eh.”
But um, who of us would do it? Me and Morgan both wanted to get pregnant. And Tim and Dave both wanted to be dads, Tim was most enthusiastic. “I have great sperm!” he said “ Suzy got pregnant with me in high school, the very first time.” I asked : “ Umm, should it be me and Tim, and Morgan and Dave, or Morgan and Tim and me and Dave, or me and Morgan both try with Tim, or… should we just try for one kid at a time…there seemed so many combinations and permutations. We smoked some more dope. I started coughing. I’m allergic .
Then we had another problem, “How do we get the sperm in??? “ Well there is that old fashioned way eh? Like, you know, man on woman.” Man on woman eh, we thought about that. Man on woman didn’t sound politically correct. What about woman on man? Well we weren’t too enthusiastic about that method either. The gravity was wrong. The sperms would have to swim up hill.
I heard you could use a turkey baster. But what exactly did you do with the turkey baster? How did you get the sperm into the turkey baster? How did you keep the little sperm happy and alive and swimming inside that turkey baster??? We were all getting confused and tired. I said “Umm, Morgan and I better go home and think about all this stuff.
I had one really smart ex lover, Joan. I asked her. “Marsha,” Joan said, “ You are crazy, aren’t you afraid of getting a horrible disease from Tim and Dave. You know those guys always sleep around and get all kinds of infections”
“Oh Joan” I said, “You are so straight, you are so fussy. No one is monogamous these days. Besides, Tim told me he is taking antibiotics and will be just fine in a few weeks.
Around that time a dear gay friend, Shelly, flew to town briefly from Toronto. He told me he was infection free. “Lord knows, I am almost a monk” he said. He was Chinese and Chinese parents are sort of like Jewish parents. “My parents would be so happy if I had a child.” Shelly was an even better prospect than Tim. I really loved Shelly. But he lived in Toronto, how to get his sperm into my vagina in Vancouver. I had heard farmers used frozen sperm in cows. Could women do that? My good old Jewish doctor referred me to a Greek fertility specialist, Dr Kostalopolis. He did test me down there, poked around, and interviewed me. He asked “Why artificial insemination. Why not do it the regular way?”
“Well,” I said “He lives in Toronto. And…and… he is gay.” Dr. Kostalopolis’s jaw dropped. He turned red. “And you?” he said. “Are you…are you…?” I could see he couldn’t say the word. “A lesbian, yes I am.” He was getting excited and angry. “ And you would do such a thing to an innocent baby. What kind of terrible mother would you be, to make a child, a helpless child who would face life with parents like that.”
He didn’t exactly throw me out of his office, but I knew the, getting frozen sperm from Toronto plan, just wasn’t going to work.
I did have one more gay friend, Ernie. He lived in Vancouver and he was a nice Jewish boy. We could make a 100% Jewish kid. We went for a long walk at Kits beach to talk about it. It was a typical wet windy Vancouver day. We walked and walked and talked and talked. Since we were both Jewish we had to go over every factor from at least 3 points of view. Ernie was honored that I should have chosen him. He was flattered that I would consider him an ideal father. He was excited, he was awed, “To be a father, what a miracle.” But he was also anxious, we he was actually scared. “What if I cant be there for the child. This is a really big responsibility Marsha. I need to go home and think about it.”
He thought about it and thought about it. Finally after 3 tense weeks, he called me. He had decided “No. It’s just too much responsibility Marsha. I am not prepared to be a father.” I was upset. “But I will take all the responsibility, pay all the bills, you could just see the kid when you feel like it.” “No” he said. “ I would have to take much more responsibility than that. Being a father is a serious commitment.”
Some time around then Morgan and I spilt up. She was not so accepting of my many affairs. “Three at one time Marsha. How can you do that? “Well I have always been honest with you. Like I told you when we first met that I wasn’t monogamous.” A little later the rumors of a gay epidemic started. I wondered what had happened to Tim and Dave. I hadn’t seen them around for a long time. Later I learned they had both died of AIDS.
A few girlfriends later I met Anne. She moved right in. renovated my house, decided we should have kids. She owned a cat but had to give it away because of my allergies. “ Let’s try foster kids first, see how we like that.” My really smart ex lover Joan was a social worker. She said, “you will be good foster parents , I have gay kids that would be great with you. Just get approved by the Children’s Aid agency.” The agency sent a cute, young, social worker to interview us. We gave her lemonade in the back yard. I took the foster parents course, and agreed it was a bad idea to hit kids. The social worker came back. We fed her chocolate chip cookies. We waited for the call about our foster kid. But no calls came. I asked Joan to find out what was happening. She reported: “Your home study says it’s rumored that you are a Lesbian.” “Rumor, there is no rumor. Everyone knows I am a Lesbian.” Joan said: “ I am just telling you what she wrote in her report. No one can place a kid with you now.”
Soon after that Anne went on a bike trip and fell in love with her bicycle partner. She left me in my big empty house. I was kid less, sperm less, free and easy, and I am still that way today.
FINDING SPERM in the 21st Century
It is much safer and easier to find sperm nowadays. Most big cities in the USA have artificial insemination services that are almost as user friendly. The sperm is well screened so you dont get any infections. And the service cost all that much more than a few years service from high class hair dressers. The customer leafs through the donor catelogues and chooses sperm from donors based on factors such as: height, eye color, race, religion,education,interests, health history etc. Then you plunk down your credit card and take your fertility drugs if needed and away you go. My friend has two tall,healthy, kind,smart, creative, strapping sons from an excellent sperm service like this in Seattle. She got pregant with the first kid and liked him so much she went back for the second. The service told her they would give her a sibling from the same donor, but had to stop using his sperm for new inseminations because it was such great sperm it was producing too many babies.