- Gender and Relationships
A Letter to my Mother-in-Law
Mother In Law vs Daughter in Law
First of all I would like to thank you for bringing up such a wonderful son. Today, I get married to him and I am sure that we shall have a happy married life. I am eagerly awaiting to take my first steps in our house, with your blessings and with your guidance I am sure we shall be able to overcome all obstacles.
I would like you to know that I really dont believe the negative image that the media and most married women have of Mother's-in-law.I find it hard to imagine that a lady who has given birth to child willingly inflicts emotional as well as physical abuse on another person, who is also someone's child. I too am someone's daughter, sister and friend. My parents have brought me up with a lot of love and care, the same way you have brought up your son and with a heavy heart they have bid me adieu to start my married life, entrusting me to your son and your family. They hope that you shall give me the same love and respect that they have given me over the years and want me to give you and your family the same love and respect that I have for my family to you. I assure you that I shall mesh into my new family and treat all family members with the same love and respect that I have for my family members.
Having said that, I would like to know, what expectations you have from me? Do you want me to cook, clean, sew and take care of your entire house? Or do you want me to be your daughter? Do you want me help your family in the business or do you want me to be a scocialite, who goes shopping, does charities and all that. If you clearly tell me your expectations, I shall try me level best to live up to them. I shall try not to give you any cause for complaint.
I would also like to tell you that I love your son very much and he also loves me. However, I know in my heart that the love that he has for you is far more than what he has for me. He shall always be your son first and then my husband. He wants you to be happy with his choice of a life partner. He does not want to get caught in a tussle for emotional issues between his wife and mother. He does not want to make a choice between his mother and wife. For him both are equally important. He does not want to prioritise between us. You are not losing a son but gaining a daughter. The loss is my family's. My parents shall feel a vacuum on my departure, which shall fill up once I am accepted with open arms.
In return, all I ask of you and your family is respect. I shall do everything willingly and follow the family traditions to the best of my ability. Please don't treat me like a maid. That much I deserve. Please give due credence to my ambitions and wants. If you happily agree to my wishes once in a while, I shall feel nice and make me feel a part of your family. I am scared and request you to be tolerant of my faults, as I know I have many and it would really help me to overcome them if you show some patience. I am a professional and would also like to pursue my dreams and a little understanding on your part shall help me to achieve our dreams.
In conclusion, I would ike to say, that I shall always honour and respect you, not be critical and try my best to adapt to your family. All I ask for is patience and love and I shall be a part of your family forever.
Your loving daughter-in-law
Books on Mother-in-Law's
RelationShip Between Mother in Law and Daughter in Law
Some more Hubs on Mother-in-Laws
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