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True Love: Keeping It Alive And Strong

Updated on July 3, 2014
Marriage is a blending of two committed hearts.
Marriage is a blending of two committed hearts. | Source

The Blending of Hearts

The secret to a happy marriage is to always treat your husband as if he were your best friend. Your actions are different when viewed as such.My mother's advice

When you find that special someone, you lose your individuality. Your singular world diminishes, replaced by plans and dreams for a duel future. You can no longer schedule your time without thinking of how it will affect your partner. Steps forward are made with two sets of footprints walking side by side along a path strewn with bright hopes.

As you fall in love, your heart sees what others can not. Your heart is exposed and open, yearning for fulfillment, the completion of a promise. Can you give your heart to another, trusting they will accept your commitment? Will the exchange of hearts be mutually accepted?

If the answer is yes, then the concluding settlement is a union of two blended hearts: a marriage young, but alive and strong.

Respect the differences!
Respect the differences! | Source

The First Years

A great relationship is about two things, first, find out the similarities, second, respect the differences.Unknown

Marriage doesn't come with a manual. No one truly enters into the relationship fully aware of the commitment required to make it all work. Believe me, we are going on 43 years of marriage and we're still working things out!

A friend once shared with me how she and her husband disagreed over the importance of dinner. Living single for years, she was accustomed to eating early and having a light snack after six pm. During their first week of marriage, whenever her husband requested dinner, she served a bag of popcorn as the evening meal. Her husband said nothing the first few days; however, when it continued over the week, he voiced his disappointment over the simple offering. It became a major issue between them.

Source

The Truth Of The Matter

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. —1st Peter 4:8

And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. —Colossions 3:14

No One Ever Warned Me

I married young. My knowledge of marriage consisted of fairy tale stories where the prince and princess lived happily ever after. No one ever warned me (okay, maybe my mom did) marriage required compromise. If you block your partner's point of view, you are doomed to a road filled with anguish and disappointment.

Compromise was not a popular word in my vocabulary during my early years. I pretty much saw things in terms of what I needed or thought was needed to make things work. Of course my dear hubby saw things differently. What happens when two worlds collide?

Years and years later, I finally discovered the secret to a happy marriage: communicate in order to build trust between each other. Don't assume that your sweetheart is seeing the picture from the same perspective. Once you know how the other thinks, you must be able to compromise, or at least listen to their story and understand their reasoning. How you make major decisions is no longer a one-sided process. As the old saying goes, it takes two to tango.

Can You Compromise?

What is your preference on . . .
Differences of Opinion
Food
Fresh or Frozen, Eat out or Home-cooked, Natural or Processed
Faith (Religion)
Worship together. Separate faith worship. No faith.
Sex
Daily, once a week. Types of intimacy. Precautions used?
Personal Grooming
Bathing together? Use the toilet in private? Toiletries on the counter or stored?
Pets
Cat, dog, bird, or ?, Inside or outside home. Allowed to sleep in bed. None wanted.
House Cleaning
Self-clean ups, assign chores, one person does the cleaning
Family
Visit family daily, monthly, holidays and special days only. Share problems with parents, siblings?
Children
Have one, two, three or ? Adopt? None desired, thank you.
Finance
Keep individual bank accounts, joint accounts? Who does the budget and books?

Traveling The Road Together

Source

Do I Stay Or Do I Go?

Love is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person. To love somebody isn’t just a strong feeling. It is a decision, a judgment and a promise. —Unkown

Value and appreciate the people who sacrifice their “something” for you. Because maybe that “something” was their everything. So maybe they don't do things to your liking. Perhaps they like popcorn plain and you prefer it with butter. Those are minor differences. But when someone changes their point of view because they believe in you, it's something. Value their choice to ride along with you.

The road you travel together is going to have surprises. Surprises that may shake your world or at least make traveling difficult collectively. Jumping off mid-way is not an option. I've experienced some pretty hairy and scary times during these past forty plus years, but I hung on. I am not perfect. Ed, my hubby, is not perfect. But together we travel better than alone.

When you come to a fork in the road and you are pondering: do I stay or do I go? I hope you at least talk it through with your spouse and be honest about your feelings. Life's journey is an adventure. Make it a good one.


The Goal

© 2014 Dianna Mendez

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    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image

      Chitrangada Sharan 2 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Awesome hub and you speak from experience!

      I agree with you and firmly believe that love and marriage requires lot of commitment, sacrifices from both the partners, mutual respect, understanding and most of all accepting your partner with the negatives(which may be negative in your view), as much as the positives, since no one can be perfect.

      Marriages are successful, when your partner becomes your closest friend, with whom you can share your joys and sorrows and this should be reciprocal.

      Thank you for sharing this engaging hub! Voted up!

    • teaches12345 profile image
      Author

      Dianna Mendez 2 years ago

      ChitrangadaSharon, your words are so sweet a tune. Thank you for your add to the post. I hope you are having a good day.

    • RachaelOhalloran profile image

      Rachael O'Halloran 2 years ago from United States

      I was fortunate to marry twice and find a good man both times. One was only with me a short time but left me a son that reminds me of him everyday.

      The other came into my life at just the right time. In both instances, we knew and respected each other's ways and preferences. I don't think any marriage can endure unless you honor those preferences. Just as we have our own ways of doing things and wanting things done, so do our spouses and if we don't allow for that in each other, I don't think the marriage doesn't stand a chance of surviving in other areas.

      Great hub with lots of perspectives given. Voted up and interesting.

    • annart profile image

      Ann Carr 2 years ago from SW England

      Sound advice for something which is so different for each person, each couple. I've been there twice and I can safely say that talking to each other is the key to much of success or lack of it! Now, my partner and I talk over everything and we've survived almost 25 years so far. We are certainly each other's best friend.

      You've put forward the most important things here so it's a good 'manual' for those starting married life. Ann

    • teaches12345 profile image
      Author

      Dianna Mendez 2 years ago

      Rachael, you have nailed it: allowances for each other is the key. So glad to hear how you have used this well in your relationships. Have a wonderful day, dear lady.

      Annart, I realized the advantage of talking things out with your partner over time. It does make the relationship stronger. Thanks for adding to this post with valuable insight. Enjoy your day.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Words of wisdom from a person who walks her talk. Beautiful message here, Dianna. I hope thousands of young couples read this.

    • teaches12345 profile image
      Author

      Dianna Mendez 2 years ago

      Thank you, Bill. Your words are kind. Enjoy your day with Bev.

    • sholland10 profile image

      Susan Holland 2 years ago from Southwest Missouri

      Hi Dianna! Such a wonderful hub of great advice. I was like you: married young with romantic ideas. We fought like cats and dogs the first few years. You are so right about communication. It hurt so much more to get the silent treatment that only makes the situation fester.

      Marriage is hard work, and compromise must be found. Your list are all the things that need to me discussed between married couples.

      Great hub! Votes and shares! :-)

    • ARUN KANTI profile image

      ARUN KANTI CHATTERJEE 2 years ago from KOLKATA

      The partners should treat each other with due respect.They can ride out the storms which may happen in any relations easily if they have proper understanding and take responsibility together.Thank you for a great hub.

    • teaches12345 profile image
      Author

      Dianna Mendez 2 years ago

      Susan, oh how I used to think the silent treatment was my advantage in arguments. Your wisdom shared will benefit other couples. I enjoy seeing you on posts. Hope your day sparkles and shines!

      Arun, taking responsibility is the key insert here. It's growing in maturity that helps build stronger love. Excellent advice! Be well and safe today.

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 2 years ago from Central Florida

      Dianna, I love seeing marriages stand the test of time and, well - tests! It is very hard to blend two individuals into one unit without losing who you are. I tried twice. Both times my husband wasn't able to make those blending concessions. In order to not lose myself entirely and to escape the bitter feelings of not having someone love you enough to work at it, I chose divorce both times.

      Love the Harley, btw. Another woman who loves the freedom of the wind!

    • AliciaC profile image

      Linda Crampton 2 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      This is a lovely hub filled with excellent advice, Dianna. There is a lot of wisdom here for couples.

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Hi, this is so true, and even though I had a very unconventional marriage, its great that we are still friends, in fact we still share a house a get on better divorced than we did married! lol! voted up and shared, nell

    • teaches12345 profile image
      Author

      Dianna Mendez 2 years ago

      Brave warrior, it is so admirable that you gave it your all. Some people cannot appreciate the sacrifice others show them. My sister loves riding with her hubby, she does love the outdoors.

      Alicia, your presence here is rewarding to me. Hope you are enjoying a good day.

      Nell, I can't imagine anyone not enjoying your spirited love of life! I'm sure your friendship proves your loyalty. Be well and safe. Blessings!

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 2 years ago from Wales

      A brilliant hub Dianna .Voting up and sharing also wishing you a wonderful day.

      Eddy.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Wonderful hub Dianna. My wife and I have been married 32 years this September, and I can vouch for everything you say. Men and women do see things differently, but it is all about compromise. Most of the people we know are on their second or third marriage, and that seems the norm in today's throw away society. It is often seen as easier to move on than to fight to make what you have succeed. I applaud you for this hub. Congratulations to you and your husband on a successful long lasting marriage.

    • Victoria Lynn profile image

      Victoria Lynn 2 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      Great advice! I loved your list. How true! and there are probably many more issues that come up, too, besides those. I think that's why I've preferred to live apart from my guy all these years. Too many differences that would be a problem in the same house! Maybe he could move next door. LOL. I do admire those people, like you, who make it work! Great hub! Oh--and I love this song. I had forgotten about it. :-)

    • teaches12345 profile image
      Author

      Dianna Mendez 2 years ago

      Eddy, so wonderful to see you today. Thanks for commenting. You have a most terrific day, sweet lady.

      Jodah, congrats on your success of over 30 years of marriage. It's so inspiring to hear how you have bonded as one through the years. Have a blessed day, my friend.

      Victoria, yes, the list could be a lot longer! I can't tell you how many little things pop up that throw you for a loop. I admire your honesty in knowing your boundaries in a relationship. It's not easy to join with another person, the road is rocky but if willing - it is all builds a strong union. Glad you like the song. It's an old favorite of ours.

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 2 years ago from southern USA

      What a great hub, dear teaches! Yes, I married very young too, at the age of 19, and still married to the same man. We learned a lot about each other over the years, which has actually strengthened our relationship. Plus, going through life's many trials and tribulations together, made our marriage much stronger. Marriage certainly is no picnic or fairytale, but when I made that commitment before God, that was it for me. I am glad I did.

      I loved that you have shared your wisdom from experience here to the benefit of all who read.

      Voted up ++++ tweeting, pinning, google + and sharing

      Happy Fourth!

    • word55 profile image

      Word 2 years ago from Chicago

      Faith, I thank you for sharing Teaches' article here. Teaches, you did a fantastic job here. We all are slowly coming out on the same page of what makes marriage work and also relationships that should lead up to a successful marriage. Most of us have learned by "hands on," (the real hard way) as opposed to listening to our parents or experienced advice. We must warn our children and generations coming behind us because some people can't cope in and after a relationship. Some couples do serious harm to each other. Yes, there should be a practical School Of Love. Well, it isn't so we must teach as we are doing here at HP. Great article on marriage here. Voted way***** up Teaches :-)

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Sound advice and you have said it all here marriage is hard work.

    • teaches12345 profile image
      Author

      Dianna Mendez 2 years ago

      Faith, Word, DDE;

      You all know the trials of building a strong relationship. Marriage is a sacred institution worthy of honoring. Yes, we must teach our children the importance of facing our problems with the attitude of perseverance, which leads to strength. I value each of your opinions and thank you for the truths you left in your comments. I hope you are enjoying a great day. God bless you.

    • profile image

      lovedoctor926 2 years ago

      Good insight. much food for thought here. thank you for sharing. I now have a better understanding. voted+ awesome, useful

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Dianna....This is the most simple yet beautiful explanation about marriage I've ever heard or read. It has surely worked out for you and hubby! Congratulations on a long and happy marriage...which as you well know is becoming more and more RARE.

      Is that YOU & hubby in the wedding pic? Just gorgeous! Pretty, smart woman marries handsome, wise man......I'm positive that's what the headlines read when you were married! LOL

      Bless you for this awesome hub. Very sound advice Dianna which is a must read for EVERY SINGLE engaged couple.

      Your "list" is excellent and sooooo REAL....UP ++++

    • teaches12345 profile image
      Author

      Dianna Mendez 2 years ago

      Lovedoctor, I'm sure you could add much to this content as well. Enjoy your weekend, dear friend.

      Fpher48, thank you for the kind words about our marriage. We aren't the most handsome couple on earth but we are bound to live our commitment through to the end. The wedding photo is of my niece and her sweet hubby. They make a very striking couple indeed. I hope you had a wonderful Fourth of July and are enjoying a relaxing weekend. Keep safe and well!

    • CrisSp profile image

      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Such a sweeping proclamation on love and marriage. There's nothing to argue in here. Myself married for 26 years now, been there-done that! The ups and down, the give and take. I think I've seen it all but what matter most is that we both didn't give up and so we're still here together - best friends and partners for life!

      Great hub filled with practical and true to life advices. Absolutely voting up, sharing and pinning.

      Maybe, it's time I revise my hub (Marriage: 25 years and still juicy) again and link this hub. :)

    • teaches12345 profile image
      Author

      Dianna Mendez 2 years ago

      CrisSp, congrats on 26 married years of bliss! I loved hearing how you navigated life's ups and downs to build a strong marriage. I am going to hop over and check out your post later tonight when I sit down with a cup of tea. We will link up the two. Enjoy your weekend.

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 2 years ago from The Beautiful South

      It really is all about love; true love. Are we willing to make sacrifices or not and without love who really will? Some people go through marriages as if it is nothing worth working for. Some stay in marriages they never should have when only one is will to sacrifice. Marriage really is some serious business not to be rushed into. You make some excellent points.

      Sorry to be so long getting to this but I never received notice of it or would have been here right away. That is happening to me often lately.

    • mylindaelliott profile image

      mylindaelliott 2 years ago from Louisiana

      Great hub, I love the things we can learn from what you tell us.

    • Better Yourself profile image

      Better Yourself 2 years ago from North Carolina

      Excellent hub! This brought to mind something my pastor said in a sermon recently - Love is not a feeling. Love is a verb. Love is action and sacrifice. Hopefully this hub reaches many needing a new perspective on their marriage. Well done and voted up!

    • teaches12345 profile image
      Author

      Dianna Mendez 2 years ago

      Jackie, I am glad you took the time to stop by and make such a valuable comment and add here today. I am not getting notices on on hubbers as much either. Don't know why. Anyway, I agree with your view that marriage is a serious business and should be discussed before making that final union.

      Linda, glad you found the post educational. I appreciate your support. Hope all is going well for you in your part of the world.

      Better, I love your pastor's saying. Love is sacrifice and the product should be a strong loving relationship. Good to see you here today. You be careful out there.

    • epbooks profile image

      Elizabeth Parker 2 years ago from Las Vegas, NV

      Great advice. Very sound!

    • DeborahNeyens profile image

      Deborah Neyens 2 years ago from Iowa

      Good advice from your mother. I don't need to treat my husband like he is my best friend because he truly IS my best friend. I guess I'm lucky.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Isaac Weithers 2 years ago from The Caribbean

      The questions in your Compromise section are very important. Altogether your article gives excellent counsel on happy, lasting love and I pray that all the couples and would-be couples take it to heart. Voted Up!

    • teaches12345 profile image
      Author

      Dianna Mendez 2 years ago

      EP, this advice has saved me from making loads of error. Good to have you visit. Enjoy your weekend.

      Deborah, you are indeed blessed to have such a best friend. Wishing you a lovely day.

      Ms Dora, if I had only learned this prior to marriage the road would have been smoother. Blessings, dear lady.

    • profile image

      suzettenaples 2 years ago

      Quite a good hub. You really describe marriage realistically. Well said and well written.

    • teaches12345 profile image
      Author

      Dianna Mendez 2 years ago

      Thank you, Suzette, for the support.

    • Vellur profile image

      Nithya Venkat 2 years ago from Dubai

      Great hub with valuable points to remember . As you have so wisely stated life's journey is an adventure so let us make it a good one. Together the journey is way better. Great write, Voted up.

    • ubanichijioke profile image

      Alexander Thandi Ubani 2 years ago from Lagos

      Excellent piece from a practical point of view. I am really glad I read this cos it has detailed information for every young, single, married person who aspires to win the ultimate prize of everlasting love.

      Communication is central to attaining happiness in marriage since the two individuals come from different backgrounds and must have be brought up with different orientations. Compromise is very important too. In all, one should never expect a marriage or relationship to be a bed of roses.

      A big clap for this very informative hub. You know how to write, teaches. Ride on!

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 2 years ago from Singapore

      It never runs smooth, but is fulfilling, Dianna!

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      This is very well done. There are some people out there that cannot compromise, and it is too bad to find that out after the fact. However, it sounds to me like you are doing something quite right after four decades. May I commend you!

    • teaches12345 profile image
      Author

      Dianna Mendez 2 years ago

      Vellur,

      Ubanichijioke,

      Midget,

      Avion,

      Thank you all for your insightful comments. I appreciate your commenting and adding value to the post. I wish each of you a great week.

    • ocfireflies profile image

      ocfireflies 2 years ago from North Carolina

      Not many people make it the first few years, much less 43. This is a wonderful hub nicely-crafted and presented in such a user-friendly way.

      V+/H+ This hub should be made into a pamphlet and given to couples to read and discuss before tying that knot into a blended heart.

      Blessings,

      Kim

    • Janellegems profile image

      Janellegems 2 years ago from United States

      Great Hub. Thanks for sharing your own personal experience through the years of marriage and what you thought it was at first but then you started to see it is about communicating and trust. This is wonderful counsel and needed for all couples, young, old, especially engaged couples and newlyweds. Voted up!!!

    • Peggy W profile image

      Peggy Woods 2 years ago from Houston, Texas

      We are going on 44 years and many things have occurred in the course of our marriage. Nice to be able to share it with a person whom you love and trust...both the good times and bad. They are sure to happen in a lifetime!

    • Suzanne Day profile image

      Suzanne Day 2 years ago from Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

      Very interesting to read your experience of marriage, especially having such a long one! I agree with communication and compromise and I think keeping the respect for each other in a marriage is important, otherwise things can go downhill pretty quickly. Voted useful!

    • teaches12345 profile image
      Author

      Dianna Mendez 2 years ago

      Kim, we have weathered the years and look forward to many more to come. It took some real commitment along the way! Hope you are enjoying a great week.

      Janelle, talking things out is what helps to build a strong relationship, not matter what age. Thanks for your feedback and support. Take care and stay safe.

      Peggy, congratulations on 44 wonderful years, my friend! I think you hit the target: through the good and bad, it is sharing together to make things work. Enjoyed your company today!

      Suzanne, respect goes a long way when there are disagreements. It keeps things on a level of good faith and trust. Enjoy your week, dear lady.

    • Monis Mas profile image

      Aga 2 years ago

      Fantastic article. I love your mother's advice - very smart lady!

    • teaches12345 profile image
      Author

      Dianna Mendez 2 years ago

      Thank you, Monis Mas, my mother was a very wise woman indeed. I hope your day is going well. BE well and safe.

    • stbrians profile image

      Meshack Bwoyele Keya 2 years ago from Vihiga County,Western Kenya

      A great hub. You speak from experience. I love the facts. It is true about relationship

    • teaches12345 profile image
      Author

      Dianna Mendez 2 years ago

      I discovered communicating is a lesson to embrace for a happy marriage. I hope your day is going well. stbrians.

    • Purpose Embraced profile image

      Yvette Stupart PhD 2 years ago from Jamaica

      For me, an important ingredient for marriage is commitment, this makes me willing to adjust and work for the benefit our marriage relationship. Over the years, I have found it helpful as we move through transitions in our marriage.

    • teaches12345 profile image
      Author

      Dianna Mendez 2 years ago

      Purpose, you have found an important truth in marriage. Keep it strong! Blessings, dear friend.

    • Crystalhubbard profile image

      Crystal Hubbard 2 years ago from Tulsa,Ok

      I love your words of wisdom I'm just engaged so I found this not only a lesson well taught but inspirational as well

    • teaches12345 profile image
      Author

      Dianna Mendez 2 years ago

      Crystal, thank you for the positive feedback and your contribution to the post. I am so glad you were inspired. May you enjoy a wonderful evening, dear lady. I am going to hop over to your page this evening and hook up with you. Thanks for the follow.

    • jhamann profile image

      Jamie Lee Hamann 2 years ago from Reno NV

      Great hub with wonderful advice. Sometimes we need a little advice. Thank you for your hub. Jamie

    • teaches12345 profile image
      Author

      Dianna Mendez 2 years ago

      Jamie, I wish I would have listened to my parent's advice more often. It would have made marriage life easier. Thanks for your visit Today. Have a wonderful weekend.

    • Lady_E profile image

      Elena 2 years ago from London, UK

      I will always remember the opening words you wrote. (Treat him like a best friend). Very encouraging Hub because couples are quick to call it quits these days.

    • Nyamache profile image

      Joshua Nyamache 2 years ago from Kenya

      You're such a prolific writer. Your hubs are useful just like this one. These words caught my attention “Marriage doesn't come with a manual.” I had to share this hub.

    • teaches12345 profile image
      Author

      Dianna Mendez 2 years ago

      LadyE, my mother's advice still rings in my mind whenever I face some type of situation with my dear hubby. It makes a big differnce! Thank you for coming by. I appreciate your feedback. Hope your day is a good one, dear friend.

      Nyamache, your words are encouraging and I appreciate your support. I am glad you found some helpful advice by reading this today. May your day be filled with all good things. Blessings.

    • SANJAY LAKHANPAL profile image

      Sanjay Sharma 2 years ago from Mandi (HP) India

      I completely agree with you. For every healthy relationship it is necessary to maintain a gap as a token of respect where the other person may have some privacy. Love is not to turn the other person inside out.

      Nice Hub and voted up.

    • teaches12345 profile image
      Author

      Dianna Mendez 2 years ago

      Sanjay, I like your thoughts on this topic. Very wise!

    • Author Cheryl profile image

      Cheryl 2 years ago

      I love this hub. Thought I would come on over since you are always reading mine. My first two marriages were a total mistake but that was the choice I made. Now I found my best friend and the third time was the charm. My husband is everything to me and we walk together not in separate directions. Loved it voted up and useful.

    • teaches12345 profile image
      Author

      Dianna Mendez 2 years ago

      Cheryl, thank you for stopping by. I appreciate your feedback very much. Glad to hear you are enjoying life with such a blessed union. Have a long and happy journey together.

    • roshall profile image

      roshall 2 years ago from Ohio

      Marriage is a true test of strength and patience

    • teaches12345 profile image
      Author

      Dianna Mendez 2 years ago

      Roshall, you have summed up marriage quite well. Thank you for coming by today. I hope you are enjoying a good day. B

    • Glimmer Twin Fan profile image

      Glimmer Twin Fan 2 years ago

      I'm coming up on 14 years of marriage and this advice is so on point teaches. We still compromise all the time. I think people don't always try as hard as they could in marriages. It's not all wine and roses but at the end of the day I'm with my best friend. Nice hub.

    • DealForALiving profile image

      Sam Deal 2 years ago from Earth

      Ah, to be young and in love again...

    • teaches12345 profile image
      Author

      Dianna Mendez 2 years ago

      Glimmer, best wishes for many more years to come. You have a great marriage!

      Deal, love is exciting indeed! Thank you for visiting. Have a great weekend.

    • Doris Dancy profile image

      Doris H. Dancy 2 years ago from Yorktown, Virginia

      Wow! What sage advice you give. I, too, have been married for quite a while, and I know for a fact all that you say here is so VERY TRUE. In the conferences and talks that I give with young people, I am constantly giving them your same message. Keep teaching, and I can guarantee that many will hear. Thank you for sharing such sound advice.

    • teaches12345 profile image
      Author

      Dianna Mendez 2 years ago

      Doris, thank you for your valuable feedback. I am thrilled to hear how you teach others these virtues that will keep their marriage strong. Blessings!

    • Pawpawwrites profile image

      Jim 2 years ago from Kansas

      Many words to live by here. We have been through some tough times, but we stuck with each other. We meant our vows, and work things through.

    • Relationshipc profile image

      Kari 2 years ago from Alberta, Canada

      Your mother gave some great advice! The whole article is great advice.

      Everyday I work on allowing my husband to be who he is and accepting our differences. I think that has been my biggest struggle in our relationship. Communication and trust have come easily, but accepting that he sees the world just a little bit different, and interacts with it in a different way, has been harder to accept. I guess we are all built with a sense of importance!

      I have many friends who still feel like it is their way or the highway, but that just doesn't make sense when it comes to two separate people!

    • teaches12345 profile image
      Author

      Dianna Mendez 2 years ago

      Pawpaw, commitment is to be valued and it looks like you are reaping the results of it! You have a good day!

      Relationshipc, your wisdom will prove worthwhile as you build your life together. Happy day, dear friend.

    • Tolovaj profile image

      Tolovaj 2 years ago

      Yes, it's all about the respect and compromise. Fairy tales are just fairy tales in this case ... It's hard to find one's love, but it's much harder to keep it. No wonder we have so high divorce rate in developed world. Our society is becoming more and more selfish, don't you think so? It's kind of value to be selfish now. Just think about all the advertising aiming at instant pleasures. Successful relationship demands work. Every day, year after year. Many pleasures of course, but no short-cuts here!

    • Zainab Tarawali profile image

      Musu Bangura 2 years ago from Nation's Capital

      Wow, I really enjoyed reading this hub! It's so true, many folks have fallen for the old fairy tale lies about marriage that just set them up for failure. Friendship is vital when it comes to marriage and I couldn't agree more with you on love being unconditional! It's so true. Thanks for sharing this.

    • teaches12345 profile image
      Author

      Dianna Mendez 2 years ago

      Tolovaj, I agree with you that people go into marriage with ideals similar to fairy tale endings. And, our society makes it too easy to divorce. Good relationships are built upon commitment and agreeing to honor the vow to ride it out. God bless!

      Zainab, friendship is so very vital in a marriage. If one thinks about how he or she treats best friends -- shouldn't we do this with our spouse? I love your comments and wish you a grand day.

    • VioletteRose profile image

      VioletteRose 2 years ago from Chicago

      What a beautiful hub on marriage. I totally agree with you, marriage is not only love. It is love, commitment and mainly a lot of hard work. As you mentioned, I was also not warned by anyone and we too married young. Even when there were arguments, we never thought of a life without each other. It is a promise and trust that we consciously make and constantly work on. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 2 years ago

      Violette, I love how you discovered marriage was more than just love. We all travel the road over bumps and trip sometimes but sticking to the path makes us stronger. Thanks for adding value to the topic. Enjoy your week, dear friend.

    • techygran profile image

      Cynthia 2 years ago from Vancouver Island, Canada

      Lovely hub with such good tips. I'm also in that young-bride (19) married-a-long-time-category (44 years) and agree that it WAS hard work. Having a committed relationship with Jesus has made a tremendous difference, and although we are not perfect (by a lonnnnnnng shot), we are better able to express ourselves, support each other, and avoid some of the zingers we used to let fly. I remember hearing a radio program a few years ago where the couple being interviewed (marriage therapists, I think) said that if you can stay married for 30 years, it will all get better-- that there are many marriages where an ending was premature and regretted by at least one of the un-coupled, down the line. Of course, it depends on the circumstances and there are some more-than-tough situations that I would never judge someone on leaving... Voted up and shared!

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      Jim 2 years ago from Kansas

      I think your mother's advice was about as good as I've heard. Also, I know from experience, that if both people are committed to making it work, you can work through a lot of pretty tough stuff.

    • Perspycacious profile image

      Demas W Jasper 2 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

      the best marriage advice I have heard so far: "Marriage is not 50/50, it is 100/100 and always needs to add up to 200%. So if one can only give 45% at the moment, the other has to give 155%, etc."

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 2 years ago

      Techygran, I love your story of love and commitment. Too many people give up too soon when it comes to marriage. Great add to the content and I thank you! Blessings!

      Pawpaw, your words are filled with good truth! I appreciate your remarks that add to the conversation.

      Perspycacious, I love those figures that add up to total happiness!

    • anglnwu profile image

      anglnwu 2 years ago

      Great advice. I find that the ability to give and take is very essential to a healthy marriage. You've offered many pointers and I love how you share about your own relationship. Rated up.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 2 years ago

      Anglnwu, sometimes it is hard to keep focused on what works best but we keep trying. Thanks for the feedback and support. I hope you have a good week.

    • old albion profile image

      Graham Lee 2 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Good advice, I agree with you all the way. I have found that after 46 years of marriage, compromise is the key. We discuss the situation and then I compromise. I'ts easy really.LOL. I enjoyed your hub well done.

      Graham.

    • Harishprasad profile image

      Harish Mamgain 2 years ago from India

      teaches12345: first of all, congrats on such a long happy relationship. Your writing is always so soothing like a blessing. A very useful guidance to row the boat of our relationship. As for two of us, we have sailed up to 27 years till now. We are enjoying our journey facing whatever we come across. A very beautiful and useful hub. Voted up.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 2 years ago

      Albion, congrats on your 46 years of wonderful bliss! Your humor is most likely what keeps the years coming. Thanks for your added value to the topic.

      Harish, so glad you are enjoying your journey and wishing you onto many more. I appreciate your feedback and support. Enjoy your week. Blessings!

    • Julie K Henderson profile image

      Julie K Henderson 2 years ago

      I am unmarried, yet I like your advice in this hub. Voted up.

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