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A Message To Young Women

Updated on February 16, 2010
Be True To Yourself and All The Rest Will Follow!
Be True To Yourself and All The Rest Will Follow!

A message to Young Women

A message to Young Women

These are things that, when I wish somebody would have told me when I was young. I might not have listened. Maybe any younger woman reading this won't either. I still feel I need to say them because I see so many young women making the same mistakes I did. Maybe I can save them some regrets. While I'm not old, at 49, I have lived long enough to look back on my 20's and realize things I wish I had done differently or not done at all.

1. Don't make a man your whole life. Now, I was a young woman in the 70's and 80's .I was raised by a very traditional family. Women's lib was just being started when I was a child and teen .I actually remember seeing the bra burnings on TV, but even though I was "in the time of rights for women" there were still many families where the woman gave up all for home and family and was unable to make choices without negative feedback. One of the things prevalent then was that a lot of women made all decisions based only on what the father, boyfriend or husband thought was right. Many including me were trained to be on a fast track to marriage and children and that is all that was expected of us. That and putting the men in our lives first.

So having lived that because choices were limited, it breaks my heart to see young women today that have so many options throw it away to hold onto a man.

So many find the man first and then change their lives and dreams and hopes to fit his life instead of their own. My advice would be to go after want YOU feel is right for you .Become who you are. Take time to know these things about yourself, who you are, what makes you tick. This brings confidence and with confidence you attract a better quality of man, Make your life and then meet a man that loves that life as well as you. As time goes on and dreams clash he is much more likely to compromise if you are solidly rooted in self worth, self consciousness and realizing your own goals as well as his

2, Get an education. If you don't you will be at low pay, robot type, bad jobs the rest of your life. This is so important I'll say it again..GET AN EDUCATION. It's so important .Preferably get it before marriage and kids. But if you are doing it a little later don't let anyone stop you. In my case I let guilt overwhelm me because I would come home to a mess. My kids were young. My husband worked but didn't help much with kids and the house. He wasn't a bad person just the victim of being taught by society, as I was that women should do it all. I would come home from class with everyone whining for dinner. With no support and horrible guilt I quit school. I should have said hey this is IMPORTANT to me and my future and OUR future. I should have stuck to it because now the marriage is gone the kids are grown and I'm struggling on low pay jobs in addition to health problems. If I had finished and got my degree life might have been easier and I wouldn't be in this spot now. With divorce so common it is vital you have a skill that can support you

3. Safeguard your health. In your younger days you feel invincible. You can abuse your health and fall in a pattern of saying "see I'm fine no problem" Well guess what...your body is changing inside even if you feel great on the outside and after years of bad health habits it DOES come back and bite you . Take care of your health NOW because later is often too late.

4. Don't think you will change a man. The only thing that can change him is him...not love.

5. If you have kids, never take for granted your time with them. They grow up faster than you would believe. I remember one particularly hard time wishing the years away and my mom said when those years are gone you will miss them. She was right .Sometimes I would give up the rest of my life this minute just to have my kids be little a bit longer and hold them again. See that beautiful little child you have? Well one day they will only exist in your memory. Sure they will always be your baby, and you will of course love your adult children. But some days your heart and arms will just ache for the "; little them “So be sure to appreciate and make the best of the time they are "kids"

6. Above all be true to yourself, not husbands, children, friends, society etc. Don't be selfish of course but on the major things be true to yourself, your heart and your soul. It hurts to get older and realized you lived your whole life based on someone else's opinions and values. I think all of these things I have mentioned add up to lost time as you get older and regrets unless you build a good foundation in your twenties

Well I hope this doesn't sound all preachy. It wasn't my intention .I just see so many younger women making "compromises" in men, in how they live, how they work etc. I mean life changing compromises not the normal ones. I was one of them. I hope you aren't because you deserve the best.

Connie Whiting

Copyright 2004

All Rights Reserved


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    • profile image


      7 years ago

      its so good to read this 24 years old girl i just get divorce,its been hard for me because its really hard when u give a lot to relation ship but the end u get nothing so thank u so much to make me feel its not the end of life i well try to move on again and maybe i can make my dream come true somday...

    • cwhiting profile imageAUTHOR

      Connie Whiting 

      9 years ago from Columbus,Ohio

      Thank you everyone:)

    • always2ndbest profile image


      9 years ago

      I love this and I am a 16 year old girl and I really like #4 i hear it a lot but still and i really think that this is a good thing to post up!!

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      Thanks for the great insight and very well said!

    • izettl profile image

      Laura Izett-Irwin 

      10 years ago from The Great Northwest

      This is a great hub. I hope I can pass down some of these life tips to my daughter. She is only 17 months old but I'm already worried about when she is 17 years old. #5 almost made me cry- I find myself wishing this "baby" stage away with my daughter. I am always wishing she was older and I know I will regret it when she finally is older.


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