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Can People Change in Relationships?

Updated on December 16, 2016
FaithDream profile image

I'm an inspirational writer working in interior design, planning commercial offices where I found my niche, but with a passion for writing.

What happens when a relationship breaks down?

It happens to each of us. Walking through the valleys of our lives with obligations, people are counting on us.

While accommodating their feelings, we lose ourselves. In order to save ourselves, we walk away.

Forgiveness does not come easy.

Demanding respect with the demonstrations of worthiness, we surround ourselves with people just like us.

If someone is unkind, we speak ill about them. If they treat us bad, we seek revenge, and if they appear unworthy to us, we gossip about them. Now the opposite is also true . If someone goes out of their way to be nice, we smile. If they give us their time, we accommodate, and if someone is charismatic, we want to be their friend.

In broken relationships, trust has to be earned. Respect is orphaned.

Respecting and loving another

Bleeding out we magnify the problems in our lives.

What if we could forgive? What if we gave them a second chance? True repentance has to be in the heart before we tolerate another wrong doing. We don’t know how to look away.

Holding the candle to the wind, we inspect every movement. Once trust has been broken, all confidence is out the window.

Holding on to some unbelievable lie will pour bitterness into your heart. A person who desires to change will make the effort. They will work toward building better relationships without manipulating another.

Factors to consider before righting a wrong should be to look at the situation honestly. Healing can begin if both parties are willing. Strength and wisdom is necessary, and if the relationship was strong before, there is a good chance it will survive. Taking aim at the problem, figuring out what happened may require professional counseling. We are only as strong as we thing we are. Nobody wins by attempting to do it alone. We are not meant to be lone rangers. It will take both parties to agree whether a situation merits work.

How does a person forgive someone who has hurt you deeply? It is only be the grace of God. No person is perfect, we all fall short, but by the grace of God forgiveness is possible.

People can change

It is essential to demonstrate forgiveness. Have you been wronged? Ask God to help you. It does not come easy but with prayer, you can refocus. Trying to control another person to get what you want will only hurt the relationship further. Developing a positive image with realistic expectations and sincere apologies will change a heart.

People can change. Circumstances in life change. There are multiple reasons for change and when a person develops a new outlook, amendments are formed. There is no guarantee in life that you will not be hurt. Pain is all around us. Look at the eyes of the people you meet. Everyone has a story. It’s all about perspective.

How do you see the world? Your true nature is revealed when you are hard pressed. If you made a mistake and were filled with regret, would you want to be forgiven? Give another a second chance, not by becoming a doormat, but by paying attention. Listen with your heart, your soul, your spirit, and acknowledge them.

Take a chance, but walk cautiously. Only with time and patience can forgiveness heal the broken.

In a perfect world, we wouldn’t need to let go but to survive we must. There is a phrase, “to let go and let God,” meaning it is not in our power to control another. God works on the heart. God sees what man does not and He is the one who can change the heart. In faith, you take a chance. Walking in peace with the wisdom God provides to accept love again.

In final thoughts, this is not a magical mystery, it is possible. There is hope in every man. In Christ everything is possible.

Pure motives and honest words spoken in love alter relationships leading towards reconciliation. People are changed, thoughts are altered, hearts are transformed, and love arises again.

There is help for the hurting.

Recommended Reading

  • A Soul of a Friend - The promise of a true friend will not require apologies. Building those special bonds can take years and although friendships are the gifts we rely on, we need to choose our friends wisely.
  • Forgiveness is an Art Form - Forgiveness is sweet music to your soul. Whether you forgive, or are forgiven, it develops strength in character. Practicing forgiveness does not let the other person off the hook; they are still accountable for their actions. However forgiving them releases you, it sets you free, to love.
  • Jealousy or Justice - Jealousy is the green witch of envy. Persecution over something unreasonable and unlikely, it robs you and imprisons you. A jealous heart is bitter and unscrupulous. Anger and resentments built up over time eat away at the core of your essence.


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    • joedolphin88 profile image

      Joe 3 years ago from north miami FL

      I hope people can but it seems hard for both to realize they need to sometimes

    • Fluffy77 profile image

      Fluffy77 6 years ago from Enterprise, OR

      Absolutely right, forgiveness will show you that side of the person you so longed to see, and maybe even thought wasn't even there at all. I learned this one from a very young age, you always have to work with it though. I know it never comes all that easy. Thanks for this page.

    • FaithDream profile image

      FaithDream 7 years ago from (Midwest) USA

      Thank you epigramman. A philospher.. hmmm. Thanks for the compliment. I am truly soul searching.

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 7 years ago

      ....well in order to be a philosopher you have to be a great writer - and in order to be a great writer you have to be a philosopher - and you my friend, are both!!!!

    • FaithDream profile image

      FaithDream 7 years ago from (Midwest) USA

      Thanks for sharing your words of wisdom. Forgiveness is a hard lesson to learn and even harder to practice.

    • Dian'swords4u profile image

      Dian'swords4u 7 years ago from North Carolina

      I learned the lesson about forgiving and it was one of the most wonderful lessons that I have learned. You are never free of guilt or pain until you can forgive the person who wronged you and then let it go. God will not forgive you until you can forgive your brother.