A Personal Reflection On Love
Love is truly a delight. All you have to do is allow it to be that way. The natural order of positive emotions dictates that love is no different than endless bliss - perfection . . . an ideal has been met. When in love we feel and exhibit the endless possibilities associated with true happiness, supreme confidence and powerful support. We feel we can accomplish any and all things with only our true love at our side. If that one true love is not there due to the love you feel being unrequited or lost, just the genuine admission of feeling that way will not take away that powerful will. I, personally, feel such love and it appears to be unrequited or at least lost, but I still feel this great sense of ability to accomplish my life's dreams. All because of her? No. All because of me. All because of my feelings towards her. Love offered and not accepted is still love. Even unrequited love should still bring joy just as does mutual love.
It's only when we insist on feeling self-pity that such joy is lost . . . or when we refuse to accept our feelings as a response to rejection or even the appearance of rejection. But it is then that we stop feeling love and allow the flow of displaced anger into our hearts to fill a projected void of rejection or loss. When we think we have failed in our love because of weaknesses or mistakes, we allow self-pity to replace self-love and project a childish hatred upon the other person to replace the unconditional love that we truly feel. The easiest way to lose love is to be so afraid of one's feelings that you pretend not to be in love. We sometimes think it makes life easier and, well, it does. Life is always easier when it's not lived to its potential.
When I think of her I know I may never see her again. I think of her with another love. I also think of her being happily single without me. Now that I have accepted my feelings I still feel that joy. It has not gone away. In fact, it has only become greater and greater with each passing day.
I can still hear her scratchy voice and how it softens me. I can still see her eyes, which spellbind me. I can still see her bright, long, yellow hair wave in the breeze and the way she always used to turn away when our eyes would meet. I wallowed in self-pity and false rejections for so long that I'm sure I'm unlikely to receive another oppurtunity. The joy remains. Even now, if she were to really get to know me, I'm sure she would rather love a practical and stable fellow than a dreamy, fantasy-driven one like myself. The joy remains. She now returns to me the same insecurities and doubts that I once so unfairly projected upon her. I can only love and respect her more.
The fact that she may never be by my side does not phase me. It makes that powerful will even greater. Just the fact that she has touched my heart in such a way has allowed me to feel such an abundance of love and, once accepted, unlimited joy. Yes! Totally unlimited! Look inside yourself and accept your feelings as they are no matter how much pain surfaces in order to bring about such acceptance. You will thank me, for the fact I feel such love and joy is something that neither she nor anyone else can ever take away from me . . .
. . . and I know, now, that I will never again be foolish enough to take it away from myself.