A Teenagers Guide to Parents
Teens! Do you just not get your parents? Are you having trouble understanding them? Are they getting on your nerves? If you are rolling your eyes and sighing a heavy sigh then yes you are. Parent.. You try to raise them the best you can and look how they treat you!
Let's take a look at how we can close the communication gap and create a more meaningful relationship between you and your parent. ( ie.. how can you manipulate them into giving you your way..)
The Secret Lives of Parents.
Teens I know this is hard for you to comprehend.. but there was time your mom and dad were together before you were born.. AND.. they were even teenagers once themselves. So the next time you ask your Dad to extend the curfew to 1:00 AM and he says no..don't get angry. He was a teen once himself ands probably did all of those things that you were thinking about doing! Parents are natural protectors even though you are probably thinking he is an A** right now. I cannot expect you to fully understand your parents motivation until you are a parent yourself one day.
So back to the point. Mom and Dad are simply mom and dad to you. But before you they were Frank and Sally or Sue and Todd, and they still are in some circles. You came along and are most likely the most important thing ever in their entire lives. I know you are sitting there shaking your head.. but I assure you they are so proud of you and love you very much. After you came along there was no more Frank and Sally or Sue and Todd. It was and is all about being Mom and Dad. And not that they minded so much you were most likely an answer to prayer. But to assume this role they had to give up a little of the other, a little of themselves. The point I ma trying to make is to understand a parent you have to realize they were someone before you came along. They have things they like to do just as much as you have your favorite things. Maybe Dad has his bowling night, or Mom has her aerobics class.. just like you have your friends and your football games. You parents may even have date nights with just each other. If you can understand and respect the fact your parents have individual needs to then you have won half the battle.
Now you have to help your parents out a little. They are probably still in the mindset that your are a cute cuddly four year old. No doubt you grew like weed and surprise you are a full fledged teenager!. Maybe they long for the days you were cute and cuddly a little. I am sure as you grew up your developing mind learned some new words parents never wished you heard. You probably got a little argumentative and a little moody. You probably have asked questions of your parents that have made them red in the face and stutter. But don't worry, your parents will get out of that mind phase and help you along your teenage years. To help your parents out let them know you appreciate them once in a while. Remember they are still in shock that you grew up so quickly. A little hug or I love you mom won't hurt now and then.
Also while you were growing up your parents were approaching middle age. That itself brings a whole new set of crisis with it. Perhaps your dad bought a new sports car you will never get to drive or your mom went back to school. When Your parents see you get older it makes them realize that they got older too. Parents then try to analyze their lives and cram all the things they think they need to accomplish before it itstoo late. Your job is to re assure them that they are great parents and their lives haven't gone to waste. ( that is where the hugs and I love yous come in) Be supportive of your dreams just as they are of yours. ( yes they truly believe you can win American Idol) Also please let your parents give you unsolicited advice. Although you may hear blah blah blah there just may be some bits of wisdom in the advice. Also it will make them feel like they are doing something if you listen!
What you can do
Teens . here are some tips to help you bridge the communication gap with your parents. Parents have difficulty with telling you how they feel and you have difficulty getting what yo want out of them. being a teen you no doubt have little interest in how they feel because hey,, it s all about you right? To assist them maybe use technology to advance their communication skills. Teach them about texting and mobile downloads. Get them up to date with their own facebook account or twitter. Once they are hooked o the technology they will have to have a mobile phone or Internet .. and that could benefit you! They will become dependent upon you for their technological advancement and will be like putty in your hands!
Ok All kidding aside. what you can seriously do is show your parent you are responsible. Do something beneficial around the house without being told. that will blow your parents mind! yes I know they will expect you to do it without being told from there on.. but it will be ok. We are not talking about washing walls or painting the garage. Just he little things like make your bed, put the dishes away..
Also encourage comunication. In teen talk in means to maybe give them a text once in a while or write on their wall :)
Perhaps there is an event coming up that requires transportation, longer curfew or more money. be the responsible one and initiate a written contract with your parent. This contract specifies something you are going to do to earn the trip. Yes your parent will have to have some input so there will have to be some negotiation. Let your parent feel like it is their idea .. they love that!
If there is a problem
I know this article has been very light hearted, but if you are a teen who is reading this and facing very difficult problems I have included links and phone number for you. If you are having thoughts of suicide please contact someone right away. If your parents won't listen contact 911 or the number I have listed below. If there is violence or abuse going on in your family then please please get some help. I have included numbers for Boys and girls town hotline. See another adult or a school counselor if you need additional assistance. No one can help you if they do not know there is a problem.
Boys Town Hotline
So to recap on the Teenagers Guide to Parents, Be respectful, listen and try to understand there is more than just you in your universe. Help Them bridge the gap of communication especially in technological advancements. Parents are complex emotional beings that need just as much patience and guidance as teenagers do. Understand parents have needs other than to be just parents too.
- SuicideHotlines.com - When You Feel You Can\'t Go On -- Let Someone Know Your Pain.
- Crisis Hotline
The Boys Town Hotline is a crisis hotline available 24/7 to help kids, parents and families. Call 1-800-448-3000 today!