- Gender and Relationships»
A Wife Through The Mail
Ordering a wife through the mail has become as common in today's society as ordering any other merchandise. You browse, you look, you select, you meet, you pay and you take the prize home. And what is exactly a mail order bride? Perhaps this definition may help:
"Mail-order bride is a label applied to a woman who publishes her intent to marry someone from another, usually more financially developed, country" Wikipedia
This is not a new or recent sociological or economic development. Mail order brides have been around since at least the 18th century.
"Historically, mail-order brides were women who listed themselves in catalogs and were selected by men for marriage. Sometimes the men and women involved were citizens of different countries, e.g. women from European countries moving to the United States during the 18th and 19th centuries, and sometimes they involved citizens of the same country" Wikipedia
Actually it's a bit more complicated than that but that is mostly how it works. To this day there are plenty of men that still believe that any of the brides enters into a marriage with them because they are in love. The men who do choose to believe that are either very naive or plain dumb.
I am not suggesting that this is wrong, immoral or anything to that sort. I am only pointing out that many of these arrangement have many barriers from their start and not everyone involved has the right intentions which is to seek true love and a good match.
One should first and foremost understand that the probability is quite high that this goes on today is mostly from an economic stand point.
These women will involve themselves with a marriage broker due to several reasons, mostly because they want to escape their current environment, poverty, abuse or a multitude of other reasons.
They really cannot be blamed for choosing this way as a manner of bettering themselves, this seems to be a natural part of being a human; seeking a way to improve their condition and often to also help their families back home.
Do not make the mistake of thinking that these mail order brides come from only the poorest of countries, there are mail orders brides from almost every country in Eastern Europe and most of South America as well as Asia, even from countries that one would not even consider.
One of the better known countries where this is regularly taking place is Russia with Colombia, Mexico, China, The Philippines and the Dominican Republic following close behind, but again, this is common in many other countries.
The laws are quite lax when it comes to meeting someone from a different nationality and marring them and consequently bringing that individual to the USA.
Some of the formalities are to petition immigration for a fiance's visa, then after your fiance arrives in the USA you have to get married within a certain period, usually 90 days. The cost for all of this, including the broker's fee can run anyone about $10,000 dollars.
For some it may seem to be worth it, since in the majority of cases the bride has to remain in the US and continue to be lawfully married for about 5 years before applying for US citizenship. However, for the bride to be granted legal US status the period of wait is much more shorter, usually about a year often less.
A lot can happen in a year and much more in five. Plenty of these marriages usually end up with the couple actually developing feelings for each other and genuinely becoming an "in love" couple. Plus often children are born, relationships are formed, and other factors besides feelings just plain make the couple stick together.
There are also many obstacles that will test the relationship from the very beginning; difference in customs, religions and not to mention the language barrier. Many see these as real barriers yet it can also lead to a better and stronger bond as the groom and the bride begin to discover each other.
This would be the ideal situation for both the man and the woman. However the end result of many of these marriages is that they often end up with the wife filing for a divorce after she becomes a legal resident or becomes a US citizen.
Like a regular US marriage, anything that the couple obtained while they were married gets divided by the courts and rules that apply to children of a marriage also apply.
This is not to discourage anyone from seeking true love in a foreign land, but you should do so with the mind set that more than likely "love" is not the main underlying reason. If you accept this and nevertheless decide to play the game, then at least you cannot be repentant afterward if things do not pan out as you planned it.
Don't be disappointed if the turn out does not appear at first to go according to plan, you should have a good year to five to work things out and plenty of opportunities to woo your lady and make her see why you are really the true one.
Who knows, on the other hand at the end of the day you just may end up finding your one true love even if you got it through the mail.
And ladies, before you start thinking that guys have all the fun, there's even a Mail Order Grooms service too!
Do you think that these types of relationships can actually work?
© 2011 Luis E Gonzalez