A Woman's Guide: Written By A Man
Let's Start In the Beginning
Although it dates far back beyond the civil right's movement, feminism, social media and law suits filed by women claiming to receive less pay than their male counterparts, this is where we'll begin. Women, by design, are more fragile in stature (yes, I've seen the Russian power lifters, I get it) than men. Men would always take the construction work, military careers and anything requiring heavy strain on the body. Women were sick of looking weak (50 Shades of Grey did a wonderful job of taking us back a century) and timid. They had a voice and they were going to let it "roar." Women started picking up jobs all over the country in male dominated fields. Women were now wearing hardhats, military uniforms and even growing mustaches (ok, this one still freaks me out). Technology allowed for women to be heard on a grand scale, and social media gave them a platform to disseminate information quickly across the globe. This was all ok, so why are men and women having such trouble in the relationship arena these days?
Too Many Bosses
Males were traditionally the "head of the household" and all decisions ultimately passed through him. With women becoming more vocally independent, "equal" and as feminism would have you think above men in many ways, there became a very diminished to non-existent line of authority. Women began asking men on dates. If a man asked a woman on a date, it was usually multiple questions bundled into one like "Would you like to go to a movie? Which movie do you want to see? What day is good for you? What time do you think you could be ready? Do you want to drive and meet me there or have me pick you up?" It has come to the point where men are almost afraid to say the wrong thing and have a woman misconstrue it to be sexist. I've literally seen a man hold a door open for a woman and her pass through spitting "I am perfectly capable of opening a door" as she snarled at him. Not for one second did I think that man thought the 25ish year old girl was too weak to open a door. We have created a society, essentially, where there is no clear cut definition of male and female roles. This is troublesome for the same reason that divorce rates are skyrocketing.
Teach The Children
Little girls are meant to be taught by their fathers how to be loved and by their mothers, how to love. The reverse is true for young boys. If we weren't so hell-bent on being politically correct; if a stewardess could be a stewardess and a waiter a waiter, then we could really focus on what men are looking for in a women that they are courting (yes I used that term, just keep reading). We can't expect our little girls to watch their mothers wearing skimpy outfits and flirt with men every chance they get and exhibit behavior that is considered classy and appealing to a true gentleman. We also can't show our sons that it is okay to verbally and physically abuse women and expect him to live in a household that shows respect and love. Be the guiding light for your children through your actions.
So, What Are Men Looking For?
Men desire few things in a partner, but they are absolute must-haves for most of us when choosing a lifelong mate. A woman that is confident, but not afraid to ask a man for help and show him that he is needed is extremely important. Confidence exudes sexiness, and everyone needs to feel needed at some point. If there's a broken lock on a door, ask him to fix it. If something looks a little heavy, ask him to move it for you.
Being truthful is another deal breaker. If we've heard you've cheated on your last three boyfriends even if they were "jerks" as you put it, we are not likely to be looking to make you the misses (we all are, so this isn't helping your case). Tell the truth. Even if it isn't what you think he wants to hear. Has an ex been trying to contact you? Let him know. Even if he gets upset, he'll realize that you entrusted him with that information and he'll appreciate you for that. The littlest gestures are the ones we remember. Don't tell us you're going to get your nails done and have someone bump into us and tell us you're somewhere else... unless you were at Home Depot and we ruined your surprise which was a new tool kit. Then it's ok.
Prove that you love him and only him. So, another guy is hitting on you, it's going to happen, but what will determine whether he gets upset or not is how you act. Men aren't jealous unless given a reason. If you're constantly talking about an ex-boyfriend's boat, car, muscles or anything else, you're asking for us to turn green. Show him you love him in the simplest ways. Grab his butt when you're in public, whisper something sexy in his ear when he's in the middle of something (man, that'll throw us off of our game for sure) or just make sure that you grab his face, look in his eyes and tell him you love him.
Have fun in the bedroom with him. Ok, not going to delve too far into this one, just keep him happy.
Be a lady. Unless he's told you that burping and passing gas in front of him is what he likes, please don't do it. Let him open doors for you and carry your bag for a bit when it's "too heavy" for you to hold. Inadvertently tell him something you adore and see who gets an early birthday/Christmas present as soon as he can afford it.
See? I told you men were easy to please!
Use Common Sense
If he's been working all day, don't ask him to do the dishes as soon as he gets home. If he's exhausted after work and leaves his socks on the floor while he crashes on the bed for ten minutes, leave the socks. He can get them when he's taken a minute to breath. Remember, he is happy to be home with you. Be courteous of his feelings. Always try to put yourself in someone else's shoes and then respond accordingly. Men have feelings too. If his dog died, his mom is giving him a hard time or he just had a rough day at work, be there for him; let him vent. Ask him to tell you how he's feeling so you can better understand what he's thinking.