- Gender and Relationships
A Woman's Mid Life Crisis
And....Men Think They Get It Bad
You know? Try being a woman in your late thirties and forties. We've all heard the cliche' about the married man stepping out of his marriage vows to find his "inner child" or the fountain of youth. We all shake our heads, and in some cases condone the actions of the man who did this. However, society really neglects the wife or aging woman. Let's study this woman.
The Late Thirty/Forty Year Old Woman:
Ok men, here's where you need to get a clue. Woman have emotions. We live off the them. We are constantly thinking and about all sorts of things. We are juggling families, careers, home-life, etc... This is also the age where our basic securities about ourselves, go down the toilet. Why? Well, there are many factors. One is taking a look in the mirror and finding wrinkles and gray hair. Then we are bombarded with commercial ads on how to reduce wrinkles or color our gray, because we have to look perfect. Secondly, somewhere you, the man, have stopped putting us in the center of your world. Therefore, we don't feel wanted any longer. A tip: We saw you look at that pretty little thing in the short skirt. The problem: You used to look at your woman like this and they are wishing you'd "see" them again.
There are solutions to this problem. You, the man, need to start paying attention to your woman. We don't care if you looked at that pretty little skirt. However, you should be making a point to feed our security with our relationship with you. You should make comments on a regular basis how pretty she is, or why you chose her. If you see her in an outfit you love, you should make a fuss, even a little one, about how good she looks to you.
The main fact is during this age demographic, our opinions of ourselves are low. We know we can't be perfect, we are aging. (Some gracefully, others quickly) We feel we are at a constant war with ourselves and how society thinks someone of our age should be looking. In most cases, if we get angry with you it's because you are not paying attention. You need to pay attention. We like that. We like that a lot in fact. Nothing is more appealing to a woman than having her man tell her on a regular basis how pretty she is to him. She can tell when you are just saying it and when you mean it. So beware. Because not only are we looking for a compliment, we are watching your actions. If you roll your eyes, or say it flatly...you don't mean it. If you smile regularly when you say it, your eyes are dancing with mischief, and so forth, we know you mean it. Body language is very important. We are paying attention.
We look at life differently. We use our emotions. Everything is not cut and dry, so they say. We need to know we are the sexiest woman in your life. That we are pretty. We are worth it, that you are glad you chose us to spend the rest of your life with. We need to know that the time we spent raising your children, or working long hours have mattered. That we are worth it.
There is an old saying: "Flattery gets you everywhere". This is true Women like to be doted about. We like the attention, we like the feeling our man will protect us at all costs, or go to the ends of the earth for us. Because when we feel secure in our relationships, we will do anything for our man. He is worth it, because he has made the time to let us know we are worth it to him.
1. You should know I Love you without me having to tell you repeatedly.OK...you want to commit relationship death. Just keep saying that, because where is the reinforcement you love her? Do you expect her to feel loved with a statement like that?
2. You use the word "Mine" a lot. Where is the "ours"? You are basically telling her you have no intentions of sticking this relationship out because you don't include her in anything.
3. Someday I want to get married again, just not right now. Never say this. Reason being you just basically told her you have no intentions of ever marrying her. She isn't important enough to be considered in your marriage bed, but it's perfectly fine she is in your extra marital bed. This is a huge insult, to any woman who dreams of marrying her "perfect man" some day. Even if she left a long marriage, or long time relationship, a woman lives on hope. The hope that you will pick her over all others to spend the rest of your life with.
The sentences listed above are just a few examples, not all of them. A woman getting older needs more reinforcement that she should stick around. A happy marriage or relationship thrives on compliments and making time for the other person no matter how busy life gets. Men think that a woman goes on social networking site to find love. OK, in some cases yes. In a majority of other cases, no. They are on these sites looking for men to tell them they are pretty, to flirt, and have communication and conversations with other men, to make themselves feel good about themselves. If strangers can tell them they are "Hot", "Sexy", "MILF", "Cougar", etc...then we feel like we still "got it". That we are still "Sexy" and "Hot". We need to hear those words. Because the aging woman doesn't feel this way. We feel like we are getting old, and ugly. Mid-life crisis is stronger in a woman, and don't kid yourself thinking it's not. Men have emotions, women live on them. There is a huge difference. You down play a woman's emotions, you have cut her in the soul.
Then you, as a man, wonder why you had a failed relationship, or the divorce rate is at the highest levels known to modern man. It's because you didn't pay attention to your woman. Above all things, she should be your "number 1", and you should never put her on a back burner behind your children, your work, or your friends. These things are important to you, yes. However, Your partner is your partner. They make love to you. They have conversations with you. They stick by you, in some cases, even after you have stepped out on them. They should always be first. If you think otherwise, then....you really haven't got a clue and this woman doesn't deserve you. The aging woman does have a clue, because she spends a majority of her time looking at her past, evaluating her present, and deciding about her future. If she doesn't feel loved, worth it, or taken care of emotionally....you won't be in her future.