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A first time sex (painful, sweet and forever painful)

Updated on May 23, 2012

Hope she never gets to see her pic, but then doesn't know how to use computers

I have a very good friend, Sandra by name, that came to me with a very serious problem and I have absolutely no idea on how to handle it, I don’t think I can. In fact I am very sure that there is no way about the matter but won’t mind advice in comments.

Sandra is about 16, very pretty, young girl with the body of someone at least 25. She started getting asked out by men much older than her when she was 14 so she kind of prefers those kinds of men than boys of her age group. She let them fill her ears with sweet words, fill her purse with money and her room with pampering and flashy gifts, cards and love letters. Then she told me she was having the time of her life ( wasn’t among the men but I did enjoy my share of whatever she got)

She later told me she has met a guy that she is madly in love with and they dated and after 2 weeks together, she decided she was going to give him her flower. The day after she did it she came and actually gave me a little description of how it was. She said it was ‘painful then sweet’. For a funny reason I just couldn’t get those 2 words out of my head.

She never saw the guy again, went into depression (symptoms of heartbreak), and gradually came back. Seven months later (guess the first relationship was a painful lesson for her because she stayed away from men, except those who were good friends and started dating her age group), she was making plans to travel to Canada get her university education there and amongst the things they required from her was a clean health report. She went and did the entire test required.

2 days ago she called me and just as I was about to congratulate her (I had faith she was going to get it. I couldn’t foresee anything going wrong). I heard her crying and I decided to console her that she can always try next year and even try our school here till the can finally go. She wailed louder and I wasn’t sure what to say. When she finally got herself a bit, she told me she did the blood test and was found positive for HIV. Her parents have disowned her and asked her to leave their house for bringing disgrace to them. She’s staying at a friend’s place who she hasn’t told because she is afraid she may get thrown out. She’s so down now that she was calling me to tell me goodbye because she wants to commit suicide. I remember when she said painful and the sweet and in my mind I sadly added ‘and forever painful’. I was devastated.

I have begged to wait and I’ll be hurrying back home in 3 days to see her. She believes I’m coming with answers to her problem but I don’t have a clue on what to expect, say or do. Please anyone with any idea on how to handle it should please put it in comment. Told her story so you’ll see it from my view and by some miracle, have a life saving answer.

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    • profile image

      monica 

      2 years ago

      abstinence is d best

    • profile image

      SARAH 

      2 years ago

      IT WAS SAT EVE WHEN CALLED ME & TOLD ME TO CME 2 COME 2 HIS PLACE I WENT HOPING 2 GET A SURPRICE.I ENTERED 2 SEE THT HE WAS NOT HAPPY SO I KNEW SOMETHING WRONG I HELE HIS PENIS & SAW THT HE WANTED 2 HAVE SO I JUST NAKED MYSELF & SELPT ON DE BED 4 HIM & WE HAD A NICE & SWEET SEX. AFTER THT HE WAS OK.

    • profile image

      LIZY TIEKU 

      2 years ago

      IT WAS MONDAY EVE WHEN MY BF CALLED THT I SHOULD CME 2 HIS HOUSE BT I SHOULD WARE STRIGHT DRESS SO I WENT WARING DE DRESS.WHEN I ENTERD DE ROOM & SAW HIM NAKED VEDIOING PRON.HE JUST PLACE ME ON DE & REMOVED MY DRESS & HAD SEX WITH ME. IT WAS REALLY NICE.SEX IS SWEETER THEN MONEY

    • profile image

      Juliet 

      2 years ago

      All i can say is dat u are truly a gud frnd keep it up bt u need to advice her to be born again give are life to God i believe God wil heal her as 4 girls dis show dat is good to keep ur virginity till ur wedin nite girls be wise

    • profile image

      Juliet 

      2 years ago

      All i can say is dat u are truly a gud frnd keep it up bt u need to advice her to be born again give are life to God i believe God wil heal her as 4 girls dis show dat is good to keep ur virginity till ur wedin nite girls be wise

    • profile image

      GANBA EZRA 

      3 years ago

      This story is a story 2 tel young girls at puberty. As 4 ur friend let her know that there is nothing which God can not do, there4, she is at grace and mercy 2 obtain he miracle.good luck , i love u 4 care.

    • profile image

      SET ROBERT 

      3 years ago

      GOD IS GOOD WITH GOD ALL THING ARE GOOD SO AM HAPPY FOR HE

    • sunilkunnoth2012 profile image

      Sunil Kumar Kunnoth 

      6 years ago from Calicut (Kozhikode, South India)

      Let's pray for this poor girl. God will do miracle. Nice writing. Congrats!

    • ManuPria profile image

      ManuPria 

      7 years ago from India

      well, how are things with Sandra now?

    • ichoosehim profile image

      ichoosehim 

      7 years ago

      All you can really do is be there for her, assure her she isn't alone. Introduce her to the Lord He is a healer and a miracle worker. Encourage her to share her story with other young girls(when she feels ready).Help her to get the medical help that she needs as well as information on HIV.

    • alexatomas profile image

      alexatomas 

      7 years ago from Lisbon, Portugal

      There are no right things to say in this matter. You just have to be kind and tell her that there are many people who love her and many people who will, despite anything.

    • attemptedhumour profile image

      attemptedhumour 

      7 years ago from Australia

      We often make unwise choices when we are young. Aids is more treatable these days and you have the opportunity to give your friend the support she so desperately needs. You have the ideal platform to practice what you preach and i feel sure that you will be able to have 'a good heart' and share that sentiment in as positive a way as possible under such difficult circumstances Good luck Sir.

    • segal profile image

      segal 

      7 years ago from pakistan

      she is lucky that she has a caring friend like you.our comments can't increase her life span but there's a way she can fully enjoy his life.By helping people who are more sad than her,by teaching small kids and by knowing about Islam.tell her to try these tips especially the last one and you will get back your happy girl friend.

    • profile image

      Justsilvie 

      7 years ago

      She is a beautiful girl. How sad for her. Being HIV positive however, does not mean her life is over. But she should educate herself on what awaits her and how she can stay healthy and she should also keep on with her plans for life. It's sad that her family is ignorant about HIV and they are not there when she needs them the most, maybe they just need time to work it through.

      She is lucky to have a good friend like you.

    • heavenbound5511 profile image

      heavenbound5511 

      7 years ago from Under the shadow of the Almighty God!

      God is to us a God of deliverances and salvation; and to God the Lord belongs escape from death [setting us free].

      Psalm 68: 20

      Deliver the poor and needy; rescue them out of the hand of the wicked. Psalm 82: 4

      For You have delivered my life from death, yes, and my feet from falling, that I may walk before God in the light of life and of the living. Psalm 56: 13

      The Spirit of the Lord [is] upon Me, because He has anointed Me [the Anointed One, the Messiah] to preach the good news (the Gospel) to the poor; He has sent Me to announce release to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to send forth as delivered those who are oppressed [who are downtrodden, bruised, crushed, and broken down by calamity] Luke 4: 18

      https://hubpages.com/religion-philosophy/Modern-da...

      Pray and speak deliverance scriptures over her. Ask God what he wants you to do in Jesus name, ask God to lead you by His Holy Spirit.

      Lead her to Jesus by having her to do by choice

      Romans 10:9-10

      These pages will help you go in the right direction.

      http://www.bible-knowledge.com/intercessory-prayer...

      Binding and loosing God's way!

      http://www.articlealley.com/article_1010099_51.htm...

      http://ezinearticles.com/?A-Word-About-Binding-and...

      https://hubpages.com/religion-philosophy/Power-in-

      https://hubpages.com/religion-philosophy/intercess

      https://hubpages.com/religion-philosophy/Pleadfort

    • Chaotic Chica profile image

      Chaotic Chica 

      7 years ago

      Her story is incredibly touching and I really, really wish that I had the miracle answer. All I can say is that there are lots of resources out there to help her cope with her unfortunate cicumstance. There is still plenty she can do with her life! Either way, I wish you the best of luck and pray that the words she needs to hear are heard by her, whether or not they come from you. Good luck.

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