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How to win at the game of love. Dating tips for the single ladies.

Updated on April 22, 2016
First step to recovery is admitting!
First step to recovery is admitting!
So you really think you are a loser at love?
So you really think you are a loser at love?
Let's see why we lose at love!
Let's see why we lose at love!
True love is within reach
True love is within reach
True love will come knocking
True love will come knocking
In time you may find the person of your dreams
In time you may find the person of your dreams
Flowers, kisses and true love anyone?
Flowers, kisses and true love anyone?

Have you ever been in love?

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If love is a game, are you a winner or loser?

Have you been unlucky in love one time too many? Perhaps you have been either called a loser at love or you feel like one. Maybe you have had a string of "bad", sour or unsuccessful relationships, leading to heartache, bitterness and the desire to stay away from all men, period. Perhaps, you have even considered resigning men and relationships for good, secretly pondering turning to women now for comfort. If you have ever felt this way or are in the midst of such a crisis, read on. Don't throw in the towel. Don't accept defeat. Don't give up on men and relationships, just yet. Read on.

Consider this for a moment. Is there a pattern to your dating? Do you see a trend in the type of men you date? Are you open to try something new? Are you willing to step out of your comfort zone? What about atttempting the opposite of what you are currently doing? Ladies, if you are looking for love in all the same places, stop! Are you overlooking possible candidates because they miss your mark of perfection by a smidge? Here's a thought, shake things up and date someone from that category. You may be surprised to find that you have a lot in common with that someone. Start out looking for commonality and friendship and maybe love will come. Sometimes we try too hard and only accomplish presenting ourselves as desperate to the men we date. Desperation in a woman is like blood in the ocean drawing in the sharks.

What about the matter of your dating platform? If you visit the same old places, you will see the same old faces, right? Try something different. If you are into the party scene, try some new territory. Opposed to art galleries or museums? Broaden your horizon. What about volunteering at a hospital or local shelter, joining a book club, church or social group? You may be surprised to find more at the museum than famous pieces of art work! Give it a chance; what do you have to lose, anyway? You may have some fun, experience personal growth and meet new friends, if nothing else and maybe you could potentially bump into the man of your dreams.

Many of us ladies are not only looking for love in all the wrong places, but for many a wrong reason. You hear women lament all the time, I want a man to complete my life. I am so lonely, I can't do this life all by myself or I really need someone to be there always to comfort me. Sure, its great to desire a soulmate. It's even wonderful to crave life with the man of your dreams, but are you ready to share your life and personal space with another human being, forever? Hey, it's a legitimate question for the loser in love! You must be prepared for a relationship. One friend of mine misses romance but is not willing to make any changes. A relationship takes time and some measure of sacrifice. If you want to win at love, you must be willing to give; be open to compromise. When your Mr. right shows those little character flaws, do you throw your hands in the air and delete his number? Be fair and most importantly, be realistic. Are you my little loser in love, perfect yourself? Absolutely not. None of us are. You must be fair in your expectations of your suitors/love interests. If from the onset your man seems controlling or self centered, that's another story! Run for your life! Otherwise, don't be too critical of the little things. Mr. New Guy is probably as scared and unsure as you are. He could be self conscious and trying too hard to make the right impresssion. Cut the guy some slack, for crying out loud. I am sure you know at least one single friend who has a pretty long and unrealistic list of all the qualities, traits and requirements for her prospect/s. Unfortunately for her, its more than likely the reason why she remains single.

One last thing for the loser in love and possibly a most important factor is taking the time to get to know the guy before the relationship takes a physical turn. If you are looking for that elusive love interest, significant other or soulmate, keep your hormones in serious check, please! Nothing clouds the mind more than sex, too early in a relationship. I am not advocating complete abstinence, unless that's your option (not a bad idea though), but I believe that sex should be left out of the equation for as long as possible. How could you know if your suitor is really interested in you and not your "treats"? Trust me when I say that many guys out there are just out for a quick romp in the sack with as many partners as would have them. You must find out his motive before jumping in bed or the back seat. I have cried many a tear after falling into that trap, sleeping with someone way too soon. When a relationship is based on physical attraction and individuals don't take the time to get to know each other, it presents the recipe for disaster. If you are looking for lasting love and your happy ever after, why not slow the pace, take the time to discern true compatibility and develop intimacy.

So please don't give up on finding your dream guy. He is out there. You may even have met him already and don't even know it! Just remember some basics. If you want to find true love do that first self evaluation. It all starts with you. Know that it is what you really want and be prepared for the challenges of dating. After you have decided that you really do want to find true love, do things differently. Whatever you did before didn't work, so change your dating strategy. Remember, you have absolutely nothing to lose. A confident, self assured and independent woman who does dating right will always walk away a winner. She is not defined by the man in her life but is complemented by his presence. When dating does not produce the right one, she will walk away with memorable experiences, new friends and her confidence and self respect intact. Remember that once you start actively dating, take your time. If you plan to live with or spend the rest of your life with this man, why not take the time to get to know him.... what are his dreams, goals, likes, dislikes? Are you both compatible? Is there more than just a physical attraction?

So get out there.......Armed with a new attitude and strategy, you can win at love today !!!!!


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    • profile image

      kckat 7 years ago

      great advice !

    • michelemacwrites profile image

      Michele McCallister 7 years ago from USA

      Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. There is some value to changing the way we do things when all our previous efforts go unrewarded! It's always worth a try!!

    • profile image

      Mom 7 years ago

      Insightful thinking, truly outstanding.

    • kephrira profile image

      kephrira 7 years ago from Birmingham

      I agree, there is some good advice here. Voted up and useful!

    • crystolite profile image

      Emma 7 years ago from Houston TX

      Interesting hub that is well organized and fully packaged,thanks for sharing.


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