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A man's place, and a woman's place.

Updated on November 27, 2012

Gender Roles in a Marriage

With today's equality for women in this country you see a lot more women having careers, waiting to have children, paying the bills and being to "bread winner." And we see less and less women being stay-at-home-moms, doing the cooking and cleaning and falling into the roles most women of the 50's played into. A lot of women today may even be offended by just the thought of having to play such a role in their marriages. But there are some women in this country that believe that 50's style woman is the way women should be. Now I'm not completely agreeing with this, but I do have my own take on the matter. And this is what I'm going to discuss.

A woman's place.

"The man in our society is the breadwinner; the woman has enough to do as a homemaker, wife and mother" - Dorothy Fields

As a woman it should be your role of cooking, cleaning and tending to the children. One of the reason a lot of women resent this role is because for years and years men have be littled such women for being stay at home mom's and house wives. Men would treat women as if they were inferior to them, lazy, and couldn't survive without their husbands. Clearly none of these men have never had to do any of the duties of their wives. Playing this role is hard work, and you don't get any day's off. Juggling the kids with play time, nap time, story time, doing educational activities, feeding them and baths; is a touch job and when you add another child it just adds to more work. Then on top of all of that you have to keep up with the cleaning of your house, making sure dinner is ready when your husband gets home, and keeping on top of your "wifely duties" (ya know, in the bedroom.) Well could a man really do it all???

I mean let's be serious. There's plenty of evidence out there that prove women to be stronger and more resilient then men could ever be. A man gets sick and can't even roll out of bed. Time after time my own husband proves this to me. He likes to consider himself this "big touch guy" and I'll admit he is to a point, yet he gets sick and he can't even grab the remote! And here I am 14wks pregnant and fresh out of surgery chasing after my two year old during one of his out of control temper tantrums and carrying him to his room kicking and screaming for a time out. And when my husband has one his our little tantrums (I like to call them mantrums) he likes to throughout how much I supposedly need him! Ha! Honey, you can't cook, you can't do laundry, you can't even get yourself dressed in the morning! And I need you!?!?!? Many women don't want to be "Suzie Homemaker" because their afraid their man will become superior to them, yet if you really think about it; it's the other way around. That's why for years men have tried to suppress us! And just because your going to play this role doesn't mean you can't have your own income! You can certainly work from home, espeacially with the internet. It has provided hundreads of way's for mothers to stay home and still provide for their children. Women don't "need" men.

A man's place.

As a man, you should provide and protect your family. If you're going to expect your wife to handle the children and do all the cooking and cleaning you should provide a good, stable and steady income to feed, cloth and shelter your wife and children. But men have taken advantage of this role for years. Believing paying the bills are their only responsibilities. When he comes home from work he wants to be catered to like a king, which is all fine and dandy but if you want to be treated like a king you need to treat her like a queen. help her with the kids when your home, make sure she always knows how much you appreciate everything she does and every once in a while take her out for a date, and let her have a night or day out with her girlfriends or to herself.

What are your gender roles in your own relationships?

So in conclusion I ask you what roles do you play in your own relationships? How does it work out for you? Are you happy in the role or would you like to change it?


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    • Lawrence Da-vid profile image

      Lawrence Da-vid 5 years ago

      Women having career's is logical if they wish, however, when children become "latch-key-kids" something must end. Granted, two incomes in a household eases stress on a single earner. When there are dual incomes, the standard of living goes up. "Things" become important, and children put aside. Even with "nanny's" the "mother" or "father" leadership must be present to ensure rules of the road are followed if at all possible. Kids call parents that involve themselves in kids lives, nosey, prying. They scream about "their room--stay out" They lock doors and hide stuff. Well! Just guess who pays the bills for their room, clothing, phones, recordings ad-infinitum. The children will state "It's my money!" But who gave them the money? Believe me....I've gone through 2 children that have used every reason or excuse in the book to "get their way." They shout, pout, scream.....but who paid for it? Bottom line....if the "mom" doesn't stay at home and raise the children, then the father should. I know....I know.....mouths are flapping about "I can do it all!" Think again!

    • denise.w.anderson profile image

      Denise W Anderson 5 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

      I believe that men and women are equal. There are primary roles that are biologically determined, such as women having children, and there are secondary roles. Secondary roles include such things as cleaning, cooking, financial record keeping, yard work, etc. Secondary roles can be performed by either male or female, but are best shared within the family unit by adults and children. Those who have successful marriages respect both the primary and secondary roles, and share as they work together for the good of the whole.