- Gender and Relationships
A personal example of why love and support are necessary in a relationship.
This is a personal experience as to how important it is to have a healthy supportive relationship with your significant other. They say that trials can make us or that they can break us. If you can make it through the situations that put strain on your relationship, then you are sure to come out stronger.
My husband and I have had a few worry free years now financially. One of the most common issues in a relationship stems from financial burdens. We hadn’t seen financial worries in so long that we thought that those days may be over with. Well, these past eight months have come to remind us that things can’t always be trouble-free.
This past summer we had stumbled into a sudden financial struggle that wiped out our savings account. It was all the money that we had been saving to buy our first house for our little family of four. We struggled with it but we eventually accepted it and found comfort and support in each other to make it through. After all, things could always be worse.
Pretty rapidly, things did grow less and less comfortable. I’m not going to go into the extensive details but slowly the situation started wearing me and my husband down. When he’d come in from work he’d often make comments about how he’s tired of working so hard to barely get by. He looks more tired each day.
My husband is usually the one that is really good about not falling apart. He’s the one that always seems the least unaffected in a bad situation and so I know things are weighing heavy on his heart. I remind him every day that we will get past this, it just takes some time. Sometimes, I randomly text him while he’s at work just to thank him for working so hard because I know that he’s miserable. Every day, I tell him that I love and adore him and that I can’t wait to see him when he gets off. And in the evenings, when he’s looking anxious, I remind him that we are going to be just fine.
It’s important for me to support him and to give him something to look forward to each day. I know that it’s not much but it’s all that I have to give right now. I am the only thing that I can offer. Even when the worries are heavy on my own shoulders, I make sure and wipe away all of it before he returns home.
Today, I had no idea what I was going to cook for dinner. I made sure my husband had something for his lunch, I fed the children their breakfast, and I skipped having lunch to save the little bit of food that we do have. All day, I have worried about dinner. I searched through the fridge, the freezer, and the cabinets over and over again. Before my husband got home, I managed to make two and a half grilled cheese sandwiches, two microwavable mac-n-cheese bowls, and four mini frozen burgers for my family.
I almost cried while I was warming the food that I had but then I thanked God for it. Once again, there are people in the world that have nothing at all to feed their families. Plus, I am rich in many other ways. My family is healthy, we have a roof over our heads, and I have my husband by my side. There are so many others making do with much less. So when my special other walked through the door, I pulled out my biggest smile, gave him a hug and a kiss, and presented dinner.
It’s clear, even now, that he’s on edge. I know that he’s scared because I’m scared too. I know that he sees the bills piling up. And I know that he is terrified to let me down. I also know that I have to support him the best that I can and keep an understanding of what he’s going through. And because I react with kindness and comforting when he snaps at me, it humbles him and he quickly recovers. My support is what is holding him together at this point. My support is crucial to keep him from giving up. And his vulnerability feeds my compassion.
So why am I telling this story? Because it’s human nature to self-destruct. We start to become bitter, we start fighting, and we look for somewhere to place the blame. This story would be ten times worse if we would have reacted in any of these ways. Bitterness is contagious. The whole house would become toxic if we would have turned sour toward one another. If we would have argued and fought, we would have said harmful things that we would ultimately regret. If I would have told my husband that I blame him for all our hardships, I would be severely injuring my marriage.
I don’t want that kind of awful relationship with my spouse. We haven't always had the respect and appreciation for each other that we do now. I know from experience how things can play out differently. Being loving and supportive is what gets us through the difficult stuff. It keeps us sane. And more importantly, it builds our bond with each other. I know that things will eventually get easier and I also know that when they do I’ll be very thankful that I’ve kept my cool. Tomorrow is a new day and I’ll be a day wiser in my relationship with my husband. And that is something with more value to me than money could ever buy.
Support is important from every angle. There's a lot more to this story and that involves the support and love from family and friends. The same principles apply to any situation with somebody that you care about. Just something to keep in mind!
I know that there are people in far worse situations than this. I was simply using this as an example.