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A Woman's Life Who Gives an End to, Domestic Violence!

Updated on September 15, 2018

I you feel that this article describes your life, describes your feelings or they are similar to the behaviour of your boyfriend, then it’s time to do something. You must end it. No he will not get better. You don’t deserve this. Go away now.

It’s my fault I know. Again, I found an excuse to go to the bathroom so i can take a bath. I take off my clothes and i look myself in the mirror. It's my fault. The first tears fall on my cheek, I open the water I get under and i start crying so hard. i close my mouth with my hand. I cry to break out of indignation, from shame, from wrath. I wonder why?

It's my fault. I was irritated, I'm stupid. I am useless. I am not a good girlfriend, I do not make him happy. He has a lot of complaints from me. Whatever I do is not enough. I do not dare to speak, to say what I feel. Whatever I say is wrong. It’s my fault. I have to be more kind to him, to fight to make him happy.

It all started when we decided to get engaged. You believed that you tied your donkey. And you showed your real face. But I loved you. I could not imagine my life without you. How stupid I was! I have mistakenly believed, that after our engagement you will be good to me, that you will understand how much I love you. Unfortunately, that was not enough.

Pressure for sex depends to your need. You were so cruel to me, you were bad to me in front of our friends. You hit me if I wasn’t doing what you wanted. One time you were so mad at me and you lift me in the air and threatening to throw me into the rubbish bin. You were pushing me and one time you through me down the street. And you were laughing. You were jumping over my feet because you were mad. Or you squeeze my fingers very hard.

You forced me to stop talking to all my friends. You punched me on my thigh and the bruise went away after weeks. I cut my hair very short because you hate them. I quit smoking because it bothers you. Cut, cut, cut. That's all. I became your puppet. You held the reins and I did not say a word. "Love me it’s all i want," I just said. I defeated my will and my dignity for your sake. It's my fault. I was playing the happy girlfriend. I worked many hours, I did not keep anything for me.. I lost a lot of money, but who counts it. I lost myself.

I had to do something. You started talking about marriage, child, and family. I do not want this! Until a few weeks later, I met the love of my life, the man who showed me that he really loves me. The feeling that I’m with someone, and i don’t have this knot in the stomach. Think of you first and then him, to worship and to give you the entire world at your feet. Give love and get love!

There I woke up! What have I done? I was for so long into a bad, toxic relationship, with a ruined person. I need to go. It took me a few weeks to prepare, what I would do and how to say it. And I announce it. Your first reaction? You fell on the floor and you started to cry. "I will change, I will be good, please don’t leave me, I can’t live without you. Now we can get married. We will try to have a baby, it'll all gonna be good. You will see. "These were your words and I was paralyzed by fear. I could not move. I was afraid. But I knew you would not change. You will be worse after all that! You turned me into nothing. I was afraid for my life, there I said finally. I have to go. This is the end.

And you accept it, what else could you possibly try to do? You tried to humiliate me. That I will become a prostitute after you, that I do not deserve nothing, that I need you and you don’t need me ... And how many other things your mouth said! I closed my ears, packed my things and i left. It been many years since then and I still hate you. How did I allow this to happen to me? It's my fault. Why did not I defend myself? Why did I allow you to do that to me? I hate you. You are a ruined man without a trace of humanity or love inside you.

When I learned that you have been cheated on me and not only once, when I learned all that you have hidden, all your lies, all the dirt you have hidden in you, I wished you to never find happiness. But i know what comes around goes around. And karma is a bitch.

For the only thing I have regretted, it is that I hurt a very important person with my actions. my then companion and my current husband. When we split I had so much pain and anger inside me and i hurt the wrong man.

Sorry my love, I wish I could travel the time back to fix them all but I cannot do it ... But I love you and you know it ... Sorry for what I did. So many years later I've shown you what you mean to me. Thank you for your patience for your love. You brought me out of the dirt that I was deeply lying on. You cured my wounds, you made a lot of patience. You cured me. Thank you.

I have spent three whole years of hell beside this man. The years do not come back unfortunately. But you, who read this article and you feel that’s its written about you! You do not deserve this. Get up and leave. Man is changing yes, but such predators no. He clings to you and sucks your life. Do not sit with arms crossed, don’t be more patience. He will not change with a marriage or a child. He will get worse. There's your other half out there waiting for you. You worth much better. Pack your staff and go. Go away and never look back.

I you feel that this article describes your life, describes your feelings or they are similar to the behaviour of your boyfriend, then it’s time to do something. You must end it. No he will not get better. You don’t deserve this. Go away now.

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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      3 months ago

      Suffering is optional.

      Each of us gets to (choose) who we spend our time with.

      No one is "stuck" with anyone. Every ending is a new beginning!

      People are fond of saying relationships require "had work" or divorce is the "easy way out". However most of those folks have never gone through a divorce! Getting married is a lot easier!

      It takes courage to walk away from a toxic unhealthy relationship.

      "There's a difference between giving up and knowing when you've had enough." - Anonymous

      "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."

      - Oscar Wilde

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