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A Love Letter

Updated on August 13, 2017

Dearest,

It's been so long. I don't know where to start. The beginning would seem the best place, but the beginning of what? We met, became friends, and then you left and were gone. Not all so sudden nor so simple, but it feels that way after all these years, time has a way to disrobe facts of all embellishments and leave reality bare.

Let me get this off my chest first thing, if I don't get it out right away I won't be able to say all the other things I want to say: I could act innocent and say I had no idea, but of course I did. I just refused to acknowledge what couldn't be, and wasn't my problem, and preferred to play along from a place that was comfortable for me. I knew then it couldn't have been comfortable for you, I knew, but I still played along because it was easier and safe. Please, forgive me for that.

There is so much I want to tell you. There are so many things that I need you to know, bleed for you to know... After all these years it's selfish of me to burden you with all of it, but at least this time I'm thinking of you, of what you'll feel when you read my letter. I can only hope you will feel something...

I need you to know I cried an ocean, I shed tears that I couldn't explain, not back then. I cried so much at the loss, but I couldn't say what had me torn, not even to myself, not really. You left and took away the light and the laughter, and I could do nothing to stop it, because you never told me how you felt. Forgive me for never allowing you to. I never gave you a cue, though I knew, I knew. But I didn't want to listen then. You were so right all those years ago. I didn't want to hear it.

Forgive me for driving you away, and then missing you, and then blaming you for leaving. What could I have done, back then? What could we have done? You loved me and I couldn't, not then.

Your leaving was an awakening of sorts –I don't know if I have to thank you for that, I know I hated you then, selfishly and absurdly, because I wasn't in a place where I could have, would have, acknowledged that I missed you, that you where the light I wanted to absorb, the sun that warmed me even when I didn't know that I was cold. It took you vanishing from my life to understand that the light had gone out.

I can't honestly say that cold overcame me, not right then, I had a good life, I had it all, really, but your leaving caused a chasm, a gulf that I didn't understand, didn't want to understand, and didn't want to navigate, it forced me to swim upstream, and I had no use for that back then. So long ago.... It still terrifies me, the notion of swimming upstream.

I'm not sorry that you loved me, I couldn't help that, but I'm sorry that I never said anything, did anything to prevent the cloak of invisibility from driving you away. Maybe that was for the best. You went away hurt but ready to move on. I never did move on, though, I feel I'm still at the bend where we parted, still missing you like the day you left. I feel I've lost so much along the way, your friendship, your laughter, your consistency. I lost all that when I lost you.

I hope beyond hope that you'll forgive me, for the pain I caused you then, and for being so selfish to burden you with all of this now. I must, I can't help it. After all these years I'm finally in a place where I can write and tell you that I miss you. I never stopped missing you.

I hope you are happy today, I hope you can forgive me. Please write, even if it's only to say goodbye again. I need to move on, too.

With all my love.

What do you think?

Should the writer of Not a Love Letter respond to this letter?

See results

© 2009 Elena.

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    • profile image

      Skrollan 3 years ago

      Well, I guess so. Would just need your address! Let me know. ;)

    • Elena. profile image
      Author

      Elena. 3 years ago from Madrid

      Well, congrats! Guess I at least deserve to get a box of chocolates or something! :D

    • profile image

      Skrollan 3 years ago

      It's me. Just wanted to let you it worked out. We're a couple now.

      I am so happy. Wow. :)

    • Elena. profile image
      Author

      Elena. 3 years ago from Madrid

      Skrollan, hello -- I don't know if it's OK or not, you come back and tell me the outcome and we shall see :)

      Jokes aside, I'm glad you enjoyed and I certainly wish you the best in your attempt to reconnect. Do come back and tell!

    • profile image

      Skrollan 3 years ago

      Hi Elena,

      I hope it was okay to almost write this down word for word to the man I thought I lost so many years ago. He'll read it and if you want to I'll tell you the outcome.

      Thank you for this words which expressed all of what I couldn't phrase.

    • profile image

      Hopeless Lover 6 years ago

      I need help writing a love letter. He is my best friend and I have so many times a can remember when he has looked in my eyes or almost held my hand. I dream about what it would be like to be his. I believe we should be together. But whenever I sit down to write it the words leave me brain.

    • Elena. profile image
      Author

      Elena. 7 years ago from Madrid

      True, World Traveler, one never knows where stuff may end, from the first hello to.... I love you, I can't live without you, or I don't want to ever see you again, I can't wait for you to make up your mind... one just never knows where stuff may end up, after that first hello.

    • World-Traveler profile image

      World-Traveler 7 years ago from USA

      Thank you for sharing your feelings. This is another testimony to the power of human bonding. Most all relationships start with the first hello. From that point on we cannot be sure where it will all end, either in happiness or sadness.

    • Elena. profile image
      Author

      Elena. 8 years ago from Madrid

      Hello Blaise! If you really wonder, then go to my profile page and you'll find to the whole saga there, 4 letters in all, this is numero dos in this unlikely love story. Enjoy!

    • blaise25 profile image

      Fehl Dungo 8 years ago from close to you...

      Elena..what can I say, I heart it! ;p

      I wonder what happened next...

    • Elena. profile image
      Author

      Elena. 8 years ago from Madrid

      Dohn, I've seen the movie and liked it very much but didn't remember that line. I feel rather pleased that you remembered it on account of this love letter, thank you!

    • dohn121 profile image

      dohn121 8 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York

      One of my favorite movies of all time is "Shakespeare in Love."  If you haven't seen it yet, Elena, then I highly recommend it.  By the end of the movie, Gwyneth Paltrow's character Viola, is heartbroken and so asks Queen Elizabeth (played by Judi Dench) "How will this end?" In which Dench replies, "Like with all things, when love is denied--With tears and a journey."  Great line.

    • Elena. profile image
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      Elena. 8 years ago from Madrid

      Thanks, Prasetio :-)

    • prasetio30 profile image

      prasetio30 8 years ago from malang-indonesia

      thanks for share.I'd love too.great hub

    • ripplemaker profile image

      Michelle Simtoco 8 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

      I'm okay Elena...thanks for the hugs. I loved reading the letters for it makes me reflect and think and allow all feelings to come. :-) And will do more reading of your hubs this weekend.

    • Elena. profile image
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      Elena. 8 years ago from Madrid

      Here's a hug, ripple ... maybe best if you stop reading now or you may end up very sad :-/

    • ripplemaker profile image

      Michelle Simtoco 8 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

      Why is this lonely tear escaping from my eyes? I need a hug...

    • Elena. profile image
      Author

      Elena. 8 years ago from Madrid

      Thank you, AEvans! Maybe I will, too! :-)

    • AEvans profile image

      Julianna 8 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      That was beautiful Elena and write that article....:)

    • Elena. profile image
      Author

      Elena. 8 years ago from Madrid

      Glad you're feeling better, G-Ma, help yourself to all kleenex you need, I keep replacing the box :-)

    • G-Ma Johnson profile image

      Merle Ann Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      I missed it all...Lovely letter, right from my heart...more kleenex please...was ill...but will catch up...ended on a good note though yesssss...G-Ma :O) Hugs & Peace

    • Elena. profile image
      Author

      Elena. 8 years ago from Madrid

      Hi Uriel!  Thanks for the enthusiastic comment :-) 

      It turns out the annoying red duplicate tag still appears under the hub name and it seems there's nothing much to do about it except take it with grace and style.  I'm finding I'm really not too graceful dealing with it!  Laugh

      We'll see about a response.  Patience is a virtue and all that :-)

    • Uriel profile image

      Uriel 8 years ago from Lebanon

      WOW Elena this is really one outstanding piece of art! It brings some memories of my own flowing back .. LOL.. This is really great and i hope that you made up your mind concerning the reply LETTER lol. Thanks alot for sharing

    • Elena. profile image
      Author

      Elena. 8 years ago from Madrid

      Thank you, Jerilee! I know what you mean about wondering what would have happened had you just tried back then. I don't know that there's much use in second guessing our past choices, it's just not possible to turn back the clock, but the brain still wonders, doesn't it?

    • Jerilee Wei profile image

      Jerilee Wei 8 years ago from United States

      Made me think about how over thirty years ago, I should just mailed that love letter I wrote and tore up. I would love again, but will never know why I let him walk away without knowing and without trying. Great hub!

    • Elena. profile image
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      Elena. 8 years ago from Madrid

      Thank you, SweetiePie!

      Proud Mom, you make me laugh, and that's good, keeps me young!!! :-) I don't know what can be done, I've emailed the HP team, let's see what they say.  Maybe the red obnoxiousness just goes away in a few hours! THEN I will think about the poll results ;)

    • Proud Mom profile image

      Proud Mom 8 years ago from USA

      Elena, the poll is showing heavy favor for a response.  Being from the microwave generation, I'm anxious to find out what happens next.  2 years would just KILL me!  So what do we do to help get your red banner removed?  :-)

    • SweetiePie profile image

      SweetiePie 8 years ago from Southern California, USA

      Very creative and good of you! You are doing what the best writers do!

    • Elena. profile image
      Author

      Elena. 8 years ago from Madrid

      Hi SweetiePie! Thanks for saying it's beautiful and touching! It's not really about me though, or maybe it is... I'm not saying how much of these letters is based on fact and how much is fiction ;-) Regardless, these letters hold universal feelings, so even if they aren't about me, I'm glad (again!) that they are found touching :-)

      Hey Teresa -- aren'w we all glad to find out I'm not a phony letter writer? Laugh! Still have to get rid of the annoying red "duplicate" message on my account, I hope that goes soon. I'm not posting another letter until that goes :)

    • Teresa McGurk profile image

      Sheila 8 years ago from The Other Bangor

      Phew! Glad I was reading a "Certified Original" hub, and not a knock-off! (Seriously, though, glad you got that sorted out.)

    • SweetiePie profile image

      SweetiePie 8 years ago from Southern California, USA

      This was a very touching and beautiful letter. Honestly I do not think you should feel guilty if you pushed your ex away, or if your feelings were not as strong. In many relationships one person often feels more strongly than the other, so there is nothing wrong with that. Very beautiful letter.

    • profile image

      iMindMap 8 years ago

      very nice.

    • Elena. profile image
      Author

      Elena. 8 years ago from Madrid

      Thanks, sixtyorso!  I'm not trying to get rid of the "duplicate" red flag that still appears in my account.  Also, something that grates is the message I read at the top of the hub:

      "CERTIFIED ORIGINAL: This Hub has been granted an exception to the HubPages duplicate content penalty"

      Has been granted an exception... geez, how about "this is an original, sorry for having flagged it"!!  GRRRRR :-)

    • sixtyorso profile image

      Clive Fagan 8 years ago from South Africa

      Elena Glad you got that sorted out. Justice is done.

    • Elena. profile image
      Author

      Elena. 8 years ago from Madrid

      Hi Amy G - Thank you! I hope you enjoy "Not a Love Letter". Personally, I think it's sadder!

    • profile image

      Amy G 8 years ago

      Elena~ That was probably something any one of us wishes we would /could write to somebody from our past. It was beautiful! Now I'm off to read the 'not a love letter' so I can feel like I know what I'm talking about!

    • Elena. profile image
      Author

      Elena. 8 years ago from Madrid

      I think that we will celebrate on the weekend -- weekday doesn't lend itself too much to excess... not when I have to look respectable and presentable the next day! Laugh! I owe you, PM! You were the one to snatch the copy out!!

    • Elena. profile image
      Author

      Elena. 8 years ago from Madrid

      PM, I can see that you're almost as angry as I am, if not more!!  I hate to second guess myself now about posting anything else, I think it will pass in a few days (post venting, and venting aplenty)  but now I am hesitant, I guess it's a normal reaction, eh?   The fact that  my claims were listened to gives me peace of mind.  We'll see about these two not-lovers :-)

    • Proud Mom profile image

      Proud Mom 8 years ago from USA

      THAT'S WONDERFUL!!!!!!

      I think we should celebrate!

    • Proud Mom profile image

      Proud Mom 8 years ago from USA

      You're angry and hurt for what this person has done. Even if they meant it as a compliment, they didn't ask your permission or give you the proper credit. That has got to be frustrating. I am frustrated that people just can't be honest. What would it have hurt to publish the link that they got it from? Dishonesty is one of those things that will set me off like nothing else! But please don't let this be the end of your creativity in this beautiful love story! We've been drawn into it, and are pining to find out what happens next!!

    • Elena. profile image
      Author

      Elena. 8 years ago from Madrid

      AY!!!  Just as I posted my previous comment I noticed the message on the top of the hub has changed:

      "CERTIFIED ORIGINAL: This Hub has been granted an exception to the HubPages duplicate content penalty"

      Yabadabado!  Thanks for your help, everyone!!!

    • Elena. profile image
      Author

      Elena. 8 years ago from Madrid

      PM, I've reported it to HP, and filed a DMCA to the site where this is posted.  Let's see what happens.  I'm still fuming, but what can I do...  ripplemaker also send a hub on reporting duplicate comment.  May use that info if nothing else works.

      Unfortunatelly, this may have brought a sudded stop to this impossible love story.  I just may not feel like being ripped off again :-(

    • Proud Mom profile image

      Proud Mom 8 years ago from USA

      Could be. Where this one ends with, "All My Love,", they've added, "Elena" as if the letter was from you. If you don't get the email soon, let me know. I could post it on facebook.

    • profile image

      jjrubio 8 years ago

      I hope it all works out for you ( in your favor ofcourse!) Just remember, imitation is a form of flattery....so copying your hub was a way of saying the hub was a good one!!! even if it is ethically wrong to copy and it sure pisses me off...=)

    • Elena. profile image
      Author

      Elena. 8 years ago from Madrid

      PM, I guess if you're going to copy something, you copy it entirely, name and all :-) But jokes aside, maybe the person is trying to give me credit, like "this was written by Elena". I don't know, you tell me, you've seen the other site. I'll check out the URL when I get your email (still hasn't arrived). Likely after a meeting that I'm heading to now. Until later!

    • Proud Mom profile image

      Proud Mom 8 years ago from USA

      But they signed YOUR NAME to it. That should be a hint to HP right there!

    • Elena. profile image
      Author

      Elena. 8 years ago from Madrid

      Hi JJ! What a headache!! I hope the same will happen to me. I only wrote this last week, it's not like I have proof from 6 years back, but then again, whoever copied it JUST copied it too.... so.... well, we'll see how this turns out. Thanks!

    • profile image

      jjrubio 8 years ago

      that is BS... I posted my poem I wrote like 6 years ago and some other people were using it on other websites...( I am guessing they saw it via my old myspace blog) but mine was flagged for duplicate too. I fought it and wrote hub pages over and over and showed them the facts and the links to the other sights and told them I wrote it back in 2002.... they removed the flag and all is better.

      fight it...this is YOUR HUB and no one elses. Don't let someone have it without a fight.

    • Elena. profile image
      Author

      Elena. 8 years ago from Madrid

      Well, I wouldn't have minded in the least -- provided that they ask, and that I don't get the heck flagged. Anyhow, many thanks PM, I hope to sort this out with the HP team. I'm still not getting any hits aside from my own. Funny that. Will update you on how the drama progresses! :-)

    • Proud Mom profile image

      Proud Mom 8 years ago from USA

      I already emailed it to you, Elena. It looks like a woman's blog, but I can't really tell for sure.

    • Elena. profile image
      Author

      Elena. 8 years ago from Madrid

      Hi Proud Mom! Well, THANKS for finding the copy! I don't have a blog, and maybe someone borrowed this with the kindness of their heart, but then I shouldn't get flagged for duplicate. GRRRR. Can you email me and send me the link? Or update the forum I opened this morning with it, please? THANK YOU!

    • Proud Mom profile image

      Proud Mom 8 years ago from USA

      Elena, do you have a blog? I found this letter posted on a blog signed "Elena".

    • Proud Mom profile image

      Proud Mom 8 years ago from USA

      I missed it! Someone flagged your hub as a duplicate to someone else's? I'm very sorry to hear that, Elena. Did you find the duplicate? I'm going to go look....

    • Elena. profile image
      Author

      Elena. 8 years ago from Madrid

      You can say that again, sixtyorso! I'm waiting for a response from the HP team. Gotten over the initial fit, but still it makes me mad.

    • sixtyorso profile image

      Clive Fagan 8 years ago from South Africa

      This sort of crap seems to be happenning more and more on Hubpages!! It must come to end dammit!

    • Elena. profile image
      Author

      Elena. 8 years ago from Madrid

      I'm raving mad, a dangerous thing at 10 to 7 in the morning. Someone has copied this hub somewhere as now I'm being flagged as duplicate. Duplicate my ass. Appreciate if someone helps find the "real" copy. Thanks!

    • Elena. profile image
      Author

      Elena. 8 years ago from Madrid

      A grown man crying makes my heart go pitter patter. Thank you for that touch of tenderness :-*

    • Tom Rubenoff profile image

      Tom Rubenoff 8 years ago from United States

      What a lovely letter. Thanks for the Kleenex. *cry*

    • Elena. profile image
      Author

      Elena. 8 years ago from Madrid

      sixtyorso, that's tough! Maybe if she'd TOLD you at the time of stuff bothering her then the outcome would have been different. Or maybe not, but my point is, what lack of joy to harbor so much dislike and never try to resolve it but instead spit it out when nothing can be done. Go figure is right!

    • Elena. profile image
      Author

      Elena. 8 years ago from Madrid

      Pam, you are TOO kind. Thank you for feeling it.

      Personally, I agree with you that bringing closure is a good thing, it can take a big load off and help with the moving on. Then again, it may not be the closure this letter writer expects or hopes for, after so much water under the bridge (as ajcor rightly pointed out). We shall see. The poll below points to a response :-)

      I'll replace the tissues right away!

    • sixtyorso profile image

      Clive Fagan 8 years ago from South Africa

      Great writing great hub. I detect some true feelings under the soap opera. When My ex left she wrote me long letter which was a catalogue of everything I ever did wrong in 34 years. Talk about remembering and harbouring every event. She either wrote it all down or never forgot. Not a word about what she did or why. Trivial things like working late or a joking comment at a party were were on the list. go figure.

    • Pam Roberson profile image

      Pam Roberson 8 years ago from Virginia

      Elena! This is so overwhelmingly beautiful!

      I haven't had a chance to read all of your comments, but in one of them you say, "...the question is if they are rightly left unspoken or if it'd be better to speak them, for the sake of closure."

      My vote is SPEAK! Unfinished business, to me, is one of those things that can really weigh down a person's soul. It's the makings of sleepless nights. If there's a chance to talk through the past with someone with whom I've shared an experience that was left unfinished, I am always grateful. And I have too many of those experiences to share in a comment, but each one of those opportunities opened my eyes whether it resulted in me hearing what I wanted to hear or not. Sometimes it resulted in both of us walking away and knowing it was always never meant to be (friendship, love, etc.), but at least there were no questions about how we felt then and now.

      You've really outdone yourself this time! Oh, and I've used up all of your tissues. ;)

    • Elena. profile image
      Author

      Elena. 8 years ago from Madrid

      Yes, I guess it would be great - I wonder if by the 50th I'll have the gall to do it! Laugh

    • Cris A profile image

      Cris A 8 years ago from Manila, Philippines

      I know, I'm also big on catharsis! LOL Well now, a very personal and open letter to hubbers should be great. :D

    • Elena. profile image
      Author

      Elena. 8 years ago from Madrid

      Cris, Golden boy, you and your 50 hub got me to thinking what type of letter I ought to write when I reach 50.  50 hubs, that is! :-)

      'twas my pleasure to expose these feelings here, I'm but a messenger, though, the feelings are of these two not-lovers :-*

    • Cris A profile image

      Cris A 8 years ago from Manila, Philippines

      A love lost and an unrequited love are two of the more painful things than death itself. Thanks for exposing your heart like this, nothing is more passionate.

    • Elena. profile image
      Author

      Elena. 8 years ago from Madrid

      Benjimester, thank you, I'm glad you find it beautiful.

      Britney, do you really think so, that anyone would come back after such a letter? We will see! For now, I'm glad your heart melted :-)

    • britneydavidson profile image

      britneydavidson 8 years ago from united kingdom

      ohhh its hurting.....really amazing....its heart melting...after reading this letter anyone can come back.i dont have words to say.thanx for sharing...

    • Benjimester profile image

      Benji Mester 8 years ago from San Diego, California

      Man, this is so beautiful. Thanks for being able to express your thoughts in such a meaningful way.

    • Elena. profile image
      Author

      Elena. 8 years ago from Madrid

      Tom -- I don't believe I've had the pleasure until now, so nice to meet you! Love songs... hmmm... wouldn't that be "love done me wrong songs" more like? :-) Any which way: THANK YOU!

      Mr Nice: That's exactly what I mean. Both the charaters of 'Not a Love Letter' and this one, 'A Love Letter', are my creations. Having said that, and for you and any subsequent readers of this hub: They took a life of their own once their letters were posted. Your imagination, from this point forward, is as good as mine. And I'll NEVER tell how much of these letters is based on fact :-)

    • Mr Nice profile image

      Mr Nice 8 years ago from North America

      Hola Elena,

      What do you mean? This is not about me. I am lost now. Do you mean it's just your creation. Well if it is so then it feels very real.

    • Tom Cornett profile image

      Tom Cornett 8 years ago from Ohio

      You should write love songs. Great hub!

    • Elena. profile image
      Author

      Elena. 8 years ago from Madrid

      Hi Mr Nice! Thanks for the kind words -- I have to say, however, that this is not about me :) It's about out little darling characters that will decide for themselves what to do to/with each other ;-) BUENA SUERTE to them indeed! :-)

    • Mr Nice profile image

      Mr Nice 8 years ago from North America

      Hola Elena,

      I now know what happened, cold or no response was from your side not his. As I said in my previous comment & you realize too that life goes on.

      ~ Our eyes are placed in front because it is more important to look ahead than to look back. ~

      Buena suerte

    • Proud Mom profile image

      Proud Mom 8 years ago from USA

      Well of course, Elena!! I spend quite a bit on Hallmark. I have the stuff to make my own, but I can't ever come up with the great sayings. Maybe I just need to hit you up!!

    • Elena. profile image
      Author

      Elena. 8 years ago from Madrid

      Well, I'll be ... ahem... PM.... I'll take that as a compliment :-)

    • Proud Mom profile image

      Proud Mom 8 years ago from USA

      "So much better writing it when the love is there than when it isn't."

      You should write for Hallmark.... :-))

    • Elena. profile image
      Author

      Elena. 8 years ago from Madrid

      On the contrary, LadyCat, thank you for voicing your feelings over it. Go on and write that love letter, so much better writing it when the love is there than when it isn't. Go on, and good luck! And you've got a box of fresh kleenex below the hub :-) Nice to meet you, by the way!

    • LadyCat profile image

      LadyCat 8 years ago from Somewhere in the U.S.

      such a moving letter, touches the heart deeply, tears streaming down my face...memories of painful times and a deep love that lives forever in my heart...my husband who is the love of my life and still by my side. Perhaps I will write him a love letter as a demonstration of my realizations and deep love for him.

      Thank you for posting this!

      https://hubpages.com/@ladycat

    • ajcor profile image

      ajcor 8 years ago from NSW. Australia

      thank-you also to Proud Mom for your comment ....

    • Elena. profile image
      Author

      Elena. 8 years ago from Madrid

      Pest -- I'm coming and going (multitasking is a thing I have a tendency to) and I'm trying to keep up with comments here, so I still haven't read your hub --I've the feeling I'm going to love it when I do. You can go watch NASCAR while that happens, OK? Besos!

      Proud Mom, I NEVER know what to expect when I write and POST anything. With hindsight, however, I think this type of emotional writing calls for this type of emotional response. But to answer your question, in a word: NO!

    • Proud Mom profile image

      Proud Mom 8 years ago from USA

      Sorry. I should have said, "Did you expect all of this when you PUBLISHED it?"!!!!

    • ajcor profile image

      ajcor 8 years ago from NSW. Australia

      thank you Elena! - I will wait for the outcome of this love lost dilemma!....cheers

    • Elena. profile image
      Author

      Elena. 8 years ago from Madrid

      Ajcor – You're asking all the RIGHT questions!! I (as in ME myself and I !!) am asking the SAME questions! Too much water under the bridge is right, I keep saying what would make sense NOW! How would the writer of "Not a Love Letter" feel after getting such a message now? I don't think you're pulling the tone down, I think you're actually pulling it UP!!! :-) Thak you for a thoughtful comment!!

    • Proud Mom profile image

      Proud Mom 8 years ago from USA

      Did you expect all of this when you wrote it, Elena?

    • Elena. profile image
      Author

      Elena. 8 years ago from Madrid

      Pest, go ON for feck's sake! Go watch NASCAR, then come backand tell us about it... meantime I'll go read your hub :-*

      Paradigm – Dang, thank you for bringing a whole new light to this letter! In all honesty, it was not written as a goodbye to their innocence, but as a response to another letter from years ago. Actually, it was written as a realization of what was there years ago that wasn't grasped and slipped though their fingers. Still, the way you read it is WONDERFUL and you are so very right that the road to maturity is a bumpy one! And, to be fair and square, waking up from lost love is so very much part of the road to maturity.

      Our good friend Frieda Babbley made me think of "facilitating" some Kleenex here. Can't take all credit for that :-) Dang. The way you read this.... thank you!

    • Pest profile image

      Pest 8 years ago from A Couch, Lake Odessa, MI

      dammit PM! I love you to tears! no NASCAR your way either??? well the hell with everything then! Between this Hub and the shit I just posted...I am a flippin mess! snot and tears... WTF????

    • Proud Mom profile image

      Proud Mom 8 years ago from USA

      Pulling the tone down?!?!! ajcor--you're right there with us!! You make some excellent points!

      Pest--my NASCAR got changed to iCarly when the guys left for the feed store. Oh well. I'm too into this letter to really care, anyway.....

    • Proud Mom profile image

      Proud Mom 8 years ago from USA

      Elena--I can't read the whole question for the poll. I took a guess at how you were wording it and voted likewise.

    • ajcor profile image

      ajcor 8 years ago from NSW. Australia

      Elena - maybe off target here but who is to know if the recipient will actually read the letter (unless that is a given here)- but what if after that person reads and then decides to answer in either a negative or positive manner; how will this affect the letter writers? what long term effect will this have on them? a positve or negative answer - it makes no difference if contact is made when maybe the other person has finally got over the letter writer & is settled and happy at last.

      ...it could possibly be another instant solution in the *now* with longterm painful effects coming back to haunt them *later* - plus if one person has never got over the other but has managed in spite of all those old feelings of unrequited love - to build a new life with a new person - and that is then screwed up again.......How would the initiator of the letters feel?

      all these questions but no answers (which I guess is what this all about!) -  I go with "don't expect an answer to the letter" as the person from long ago could have changed radically and is maybe no longer the idealised person who could be loved as much today....too much water under the bridge ....take care Elena ....cheers

      hope i am not pulling the tone down! i just think there are times you just cannot go back, much and all as you may want to...beautiful, passionate and thought provoking writing as always...

    • Pest profile image

      Pest 8 years ago from A Couch, Lake Odessa, MI

      Dammit...I am trying to watch NASCAR! ...

    • Elena. profile image
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      Elena. 8 years ago from Madrid

      PM – Emotional is a big compliment, you know. I know you guys love a happy ending, let me tell ya that's not exclusively American :-) But we've got to think about what makes sense. Funny thing, though, is what makes sense to me might not make sense to you, never mind to our letter writers, they are their own people! :-)

    • Pest profile image

      Pest 8 years ago from A Couch, Lake Odessa, MI

      PM...okay..My dumb Hub is posted  :rolleyes;

    • Elena. profile image
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      Elena. 8 years ago from Madrid

      Randy, you here. First of all, let me kiss your hand. Then, after having been a true "gentleman", lt me say it's only unanswered until now ;-) Like I told Pest, the writer of the original "Not a Love Letter" waited years and years to hear back, so...

      Pest – That's tough shit to live through. I'm glad you're here with us, present and account ted for now. Those families, thinking about them and having them in your heart makes you human, but thinking TOO much about them will kill you. You did what you had to do.

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      ParadigmShift... 8 years ago from San Jose, CA

      Damn we love a good soap opera now don't we? "Tune in next time..."

      This was a great hub though Elena. Once again. Although I like to think this isn't necessarily a letter written to any one "person." I like to think this is someone saying goodbye to their own innocence. What a wonderfully terrible letter this would be!

      "I need you to know I cried an ocean, I shed tears that I couldn't explain, not back then. I cried so much at the loss, but I couldn't say what had me torn, not even to myself, not really. You left and took away the light and the laughter, and I could do nothing to stop it..."

      Oh bring back my sweet innocence!!

      "Forgive me for driving you away, and then missing you, and then blaming you for leaving. What could I have done, back then?"

      Damn the road to maturity is a bumpy one. An uphill battle for sure. Thanks for the Kleenex though. Always thinking about the needs of others. So nice.

      "True love is when you love something more than yourself..."

    • Proud Mom profile image

      Proud Mom 8 years ago from USA

      Randy--ain't it the truth? I LOVE the movie "Message in a Bottle", but the ending just tears me up EVERY TIME!! I hollar at the TV everytime to not take the last bottle out. But there really wouldn't be closure otherwise, would there?

      Pest--the whole Iraq thing. Check your email in a little while.

    • Pest profile image

      Pest 8 years ago from A Couch, Lake Odessa, MI

      I am off to write a hub on this...I dont want to jack this beautiful Hub here.

    • Proud Mom profile image

      Proud Mom 8 years ago from USA

      Okay, so I'll commit to.......there should be a response. But I don't know that the reader would really want to.

      See, I'm back on the fence again. Who'd have thought these hubs would have me so emotional? You are exactly right with the comfortable part in your last comment.

    • Pest profile image

      Pest 8 years ago from A Couch, Lake Odessa, MI

      Pain does build character. I have caused so much pain...Here I go... I was in Iraq...the lives i took..poets, dreamers, husbands and fathers. the pain is real, the pain... I am dead. My humor is all I have. I wonder what those families would say to me? A killer, a murderer... sigh I cry a lot

    • Elena. profile image
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      Elena. 8 years ago from Madrid

      Pest, did you read the predecessor to this letter? It was written, in a lot of pain, many years ago. If the writer of "Not a Love Letter" could wait years and years to receive this, I'm sure you'll find it in your heart to wait a week to know what happens next. And "what happens next" doesn't necessarily mean another letter. Just saying... aiming not to raise false expectations :-)

      AYER -- This goes for you too, babes --don't think that I'll do as you say. Besitos!