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Signs of an Abusive Boyfriend or Husband

Updated on August 21, 2017
Signs of an Abusive Boyfriend or Husband
Signs of an Abusive Boyfriend or Husband

Avoid Dealing with Rotten Fruit

Abusive men are part of the problem of society; and women getting abused by them have to take their power back. First, the abused women need to admit that there's something wrong, seek for professional help, and possibly involve law enforcement. Women getting abused range in age from young teenagers, college students to housewives.

Women getting abused by boyfriends or spouses is more common than we think. The men that abuse women are fearful and mentally-weak individuals, so those men want the women to be full of fear also.

Characteristics of an Abuser

  • Habitual anger
  • Paranoid
  • Cowardice
  • Prideful
  • Controlling
  • Non-Gentlemen behavior
  • Cruel and rotten behavior
  • Is an angry-giver to his spouse
  • Physically aggressive
  • Ungrateful for the good things his spouse does
  • Sabotages the goodness in his relationship
  • Consistent with saying hurtful things to his spouse
  • Has no remorse of his abusive ways
  • Builds bad memories in the relationship
  • Make threats
  • Invasion of their victim's privacy
  • Records his spouse's communication when he's not home.
  • Stalking her

There are different types of abuse; there is verbal, physical, and even neglect abuse. When an abusive spouse leaves there partner home, stand then up on a date, don't return 99% of their phones calls, etc., this is neglect.

With many abusive men, some situations seem to be either white or black, when there should to be a gray area for balance. Some abusers use "silent treatment abuse" or overboard arguing in rage (this is the white and black area I mentioned above); when there should be normal communication with their mates (normal gray area for balance).

Abusive men want to make their victim feel low self-esteem, the abuser think they are taking energy from their victim. But the only way the abusive person wins is when the victim let them have all the power. 'Women in power' have to keep standing for what is right, and never let an abuser take their power.

Women Getting Abused
Women Getting Abused

Dictionary Definitions of:

  1. Silent treatment abuse - an act of maintaining silence toward another person, especially as a means of indicating disapproval or rejection.
  2. Verbal abuse - is a pattern of words, remarks or comments that can emotionally and mentally affect a person.
  3. Passive aggressive behavior - person who try to subtly take out their anger on others, rather than voicing their anger and dealing with it directly.
  4. Sadistic behavior - characterized by sadism; deriving pleasure from inflicting pain in expression of so called love.
  5. Narcissistic behavior - an undue fascination with oneself; vain. An interest in or admiration for oneself, especially one's physical appearance.

Seek Professional Help

Women abused by men often think it's her fault that she's being abused. But it is not the victims fault; their abusive mate shouldn't be telling them what clothes to wear or anything like that. The abuser usually wants to know where their partner is at all times, and what they're doing.

More characteristics of an abuser:

  • Pushing the victim.
  • Verbally attacking the victim.
  • Uses profanity toward the victim.
  • Making the victim do things that are illegal.
  • Saying threats of violence.
  • Doesn't accept responsibility for his rotten ways.
  • Flirting with other women in front of their mate.
  • He is a repeat offender of abuse nearly every month.
  • Isn't sincere with his apologies, he only says he sorry because he want's sex.
  • Making the victim do degrading and disgusting things during sex; against her will.
  • Not letting the victim be herself such as finishing school, or being morally righteous.

Women abused by men don't have to be victims for long by seeking professional help; getting a restraining order against their abuser, relocating to another area, seeking Godly-Christian support i.e. counseling, or church. It's a good idea to never beg an abuser to stay in your, let him leave; it will all work out for your own good.

Women getting abused starts to think that they are useless, worthless, or angry just as the abuser; this is when the victim is letting the abuser win. Never let the abusive person win by stooping to their level of abusive behavior!

Sometimes the way a relationship starts is the way it usually ends. If he was very jealous in the beginning, then he will be insanely jealous at the end of the relationship.

Girlfriend Why? (by Pebbles)

© 2011 Brinafr3sh


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    • Brinafr3sh profile image

      Brinafr3sh 5 years ago from West Coast, United States

      Hi Michememe, I agree some abusers have hurt inside of them, and they want someone else to feel that hurt as well. Thanks

    • michememe profile image

      Miche Wro 5 years ago

      Great advice on what to look for concerning abuse. Some abusers have unresolved family issues and need counseling. I am not making excuses for them at all. It took my dad years to deal with his anger.

    • Brinafr3sh profile image

      Brinafr3sh 5 years ago from West Coast, United States

      Hi Dolores, That seems to be the truth, abusers can't possibly love themselves; so they want someone else around them to feel the hurt also. Thanks

    • Dolores Monet profile image

      Dolores Monet 5 years ago from East Coast, United States

      I've always thought that abusers have some kind of deep self hatred. Why else would they treat the people who love them in such a horrible manner?

    • Brinafr3sh profile image

      Brinafr3sh 5 years ago from West Coast, United States

      Your welcome,thanks for your comment.

    • Theocharis V profile image

      Theocharis V 5 years ago from Piraeus, Greece

      good hub. thanx for sharing.

    • Brinafr3sh profile image

      Brinafr3sh 6 years ago from West Coast, United States

      Thanks Movie Master.

      Thanks Sabrina Tells All.

    • Sabrina Tells All profile image

      Sabrina Tells All 6 years ago

      This was excellent! Abuse is really the portion of life that is ugly, cycling and misunderstood by those involved. It really comes down to power and forcing acceptance on another, so that they become powerless.

      Outsiders do not understand and lack compassion for the victim, as they struggle through this in isolation. First it is internalized, perhaps if they were a better person? They are told so many negative things about their persona that their image begins to suffer.

      Getting help is essential but not always possible. For those that are unable gain the support of others, I offer this advice.

      Be strong and keep yourself safe. Never lose eye contact with the abuser it is a sign of weakness. Always analyze your environment should you need an escape plan. Keep everything that might be used as a weapon so it cannot be easily accessed in the heat of the moment.

      Trust your instincts! If it does not feel right then you should not believe it. The abusers reality does not have to be your reality.

      Remember, that once you remove yourself from this situation you will always need to watch your back; never let your guard down.

      Breaking away will be difficult but it is possible. They will become angry and you need to remember that there is safety in numbers. Above else, do not take chances or allow yourself to be alone with the abuser once you have left this volatile situation.

      - Best of luck to all individuals that find themselves in this type of situation -


    • Movie Master profile image

      Movie Master 6 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hi Brinafr3sh, a well written hub, offering good advice.

      Voting up and thank you.

    • louiseelcross profile image

      Louise Elcross 6 years ago from UK

      Thanks for this hub. I was abused by my father who also abused my mother too. From an early age I thought being abused was right and normal cos I knew no different. All my partners were abusive to me until ten years ago when I said no more. I had to find love and respect for myself and now I know I will never put up with abuse again. Thanks for highlighting problem of abuse.