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Accepting Yourself As A Man In Lingerie (Or A Human In General)

Updated on October 13, 2009

One of the hardest things to do in any life time is to accept yourself. For men who wear women's lingerie, this can be especially difficult. Most men who wear women's lingerie have struggled, or are still struggling with the issue. Most men have wished at some point that they did not want to wear women's lingerie.

But, like a silken trap, the more they struggled against it, the more they wanted to wear it. This is the paradox of being a man who wears women's lingerie. Men can struggle with this issue for years, or decades. Some men even pluck up the gumption to collect whatever lingerie they do have and throw it away. They think for a mad moment that they can master their desire to wear women's lingerie and become 'normal' like other men just by denying their impulses.

It doesn't work of course. The urge comes back stronger than ever, and racked with despair they find themselves slipping into a pair of panties or stockings and guiltily enjoying them.

When its spelled out like that it sounds silly of course. Why would anyone put themselves through that? Why not just accept it and move on?

Well, whether we are men who wear women's lingerie or not, most of us have some aspect of ourselves which we try to deny. Some of these aspects are secreted away so deep we don't even know they are there, others we fight to repress every day.

We're so flooded with “supposed to's” and “should do's” that we forget very early on that in all likelihood this is the one life time we will have. Even if you believe that we have more, this is the only lifetime we will have in this condition. To spend it fighting one's own nature is not only futile, but a tragic waste of the precious moments we have on this earth.

And the funny thing? When we finally stop fighting. When we finally accept those parts of ourselves we never wanted to be true, that is when we become free of them. Free to indulge in them, or free to let them go. Free to be whatever we want to be.

Don't work on denying the parts of yourself that do not fit with whatever image your particular society has pressed upon you. Celebrate those parts, for those are the parts that will ultimately free you. Those are the gifts you were born to express.

Live free and happy. There is nothing wrong with you or your desires.


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      Nolyn 7 years ago

      I mostly agree - that is the part about wearing lingerie. However I would have to disagree about not changing aspects about ourselves just because 'we are what we are'. There are aspects about ourselves that are immature and need to "grow up" more. The longer we take to mature in a weak area in our lives, the harder it's going to be for us when that "growth time" comes. So we need to encourage change and growth away from our less desirable/immature/sinful traits and foster growth.

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      ed 8 years ago

      after reading all of the comments i find that a lot of men wear panties. i always thought it was okay to wear them as i do

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      phi 9 years ago

      I have to agree. The peer pressure is intense to be "manly". I have been a sissy for over 60 yrs. Only in the last 30 have I come to embrace all my fem qualties. Like so many I wasted years with purges and denial. It is a shame that it takes years to learn self-acceptance. One needs to be themselves,but for social reasons we are conditioned to seek acceptance from others. And therefore hide our true selves. And since we really can't fool ourselves,we live with fear,shame and self-loathing. We are trained early in life to project an "image" for social acceptance. My greatest experience was with my longtime friend from highschool and his wife. Neither were into the sc-called tv scene. They knew of my involvement. Yet they did not condem it. I remained best friends with my highschool buddy for over 50 years. He has since passed on. I am still friends with his wife. Funny thing is since his wife found out about my fem dressing,our relationship has improved. Before that our friendship was somewhat strained (when she preceived my to be manly)