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Actually, It Is You: Breaking Up
So you want to break up with someone. My first couple questions are:
1. Are you married?
2. If not, how long have you been together?
Generally, these two things make this situation all the more harder. However, if you answered yes to the first question, this might not be for you. I have no experience with divorce and therefore couldn't help you in those matters. Unless you're married to something other than another human, like Snickers Ice Cream Bars. Oh my, one word: GLORIOUS! Anyway, if that is the case, my advice would be to back away slowly. But if this isn't the case and you said no to the first question, shall we continue on. Generally writing, as years together increase, so does difficulty breaking up. This makes sense because we've entered the realm of love and owning things together. This article will not help you decide who gets what for what reason, nor, is it going to help make things easier. It will, however provide for some ways of going about breaking up with your partner, starting with the best and most logical approach to it and ending with the worst possible and highly non-recommended way of going about this. If you've read my article on rejecting someone (right here if you haven't), then you probably have a vague idea what I'm referring to. But enough chit chat, let's get you out of this relationship.
The key to all of this is a bit of confidence. One must also be prepared for what generally follows, i.e. the onslaught of emotions. But you need to be strong enough to go through with it. Don't sit around providing excuses and justifying why you shouldn't. "It's not you it's me." Well sometimes, it is them. It's them and they need to be told. How else are they going to learn. You'll thank each other in the end, and also, these things don't always end badly. A lot of times the two involved still remain friends in the end. I feel this is a better outcome than the complete destruction of the relationship. I do understand that in some cases, destruction is the better solution and easiest.
Method 1: In Person
This is the most effective and logical approach, also it shows that you both are mature and guarantees the message gets through. There are many different ways this could happen. You could have lunch, coffee. Whichever way you feel comfortable meeting, the point is that it gets talked about face to face.
Method 2: Phone Call
This is much the same as method 1. But given the existence of long distance relationships, this is sometimes the only way of going about this. Though, it's also used in short distance ones. This isn't the worst method, and it's an understandable one. You still end up talking to each other.
Method 3: The Letter
Really, after the first two these tentatively get worst. No, I do not recommend you break up with someone in any type of message form, whether that be text message, letter, Facebook, etc... I feel like this is a last resort. It's not the worst way of doing things because things are still handled between the both of you. But, this should be left for the younger generation, much younger, talking elementary school to young to understand what love is generation.
Method 4: Another Person
Do I even need to say don't do this? For those who don't understand, this method involves having some third party do the breaking up for you. Yea, don't do this. It's just awkward for all parties involved.
Method 5: Silent Treatment
Absolute worst way of breaking up with someone. Why? You essentially never tell the person you don't want to be together anymore. You essentially just disappear out of their life to go create this other life somewhere else and ignore whoever you were in a relationship with. This is frustrating and leads to more problems than solutions. I will admit, it takes a lot of chutzpah to do this, and really I don't think it's worth getting into any relationship, as this clearly shows you're are not mature enough to handle it. This really isn't a method of breaking up, it's a statement to those who might think of going about it in this manner. Just don't do it. It's a waste of time.
.....or this, if faced with this situation.
I truly don't see the point in putting oneself through the misery of forcing oneself to remain in a relationship one doesn't want to be in. I know from experience seeing it, no one wins. It just leads to unhappiness and soon having trust issues. You'll come to find yourself feeling lonelier in the relationship than you would out of it. Yes, it's going to hurt. But that's apart of life and really it's the hope that this hurt won't last forever that keeps us living. But the misery will last forever if you don't do anything about it. Even though it will hurt, it will only make you stronger in the end and will help you grow and mature as a person.