ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Falling In love with a straight guy

Updated on December 31, 2016

Falling in love

So it all began when I was in year 8. I was playing games as I always did at lunch time with my best friend, at this point in time I didn't have many friends but then came along this guy (lets call him... Mike) that I already knew from the previous year as he was in my tutor. He was one of the guys that was popular yet used to like hanging around the geeky bunch (my group of friends), he was unique and puberty worked its magic on him. As time went on I found him more and more attractive but what could I of done, I liked him but no one even knew I was gay. He fell in love multiple times and each time it broke my heart, I spent most of my secondary school just waiting for him to break up with his current girlfriend.

Admitting my love

Mike was one of the first friends I came out to (in year 10), I kept giving him hints on the way back from school one day until he shouted "wait, are you gay?" (by this point no one really knew I was gay so I was kind of annoyed at him)to which I slowly nodded, he was thrilled and glad that he was one of my first friends I told. But as he got excited everything just slowed down and I couldn't help but just realise how attractive he was, it was at this point I was certain that I was beginning to fall in love with him. A few weeks past after this and I decided to tell one of my friends that I "used to" like Mike, he was shocked and immediately wanted me to tell him. So a few more weeks past and I decided that I would tell him, and then on another walk back from school I said "I used to like you", to which he refused to speak to me for another week, all that was going through my head was I knew this would happen, why would I confess that I like a straight guy.

My attempt to get with the straight guy

After I apologised to Mike he started talking to me again, even though there was about a year of slightly homophobic comments, to which I just tried to ignore. After about a year of still waiting as he fell in love numerous times, I noticed he started to change, sure he started drinking and doing drugs, but he also seemed more open to sexuality. The homophobic comments stopped and I was glad but shocked at the same time, at first I even thought he might have a mental illness, but then realised that he reminded me of myself throughout all the years I was trying to hide my sexuality from the public. All I could think was this is my chance he might be bisexual so in March of year 11 I tried to make a move whilst I was drunk and he was on drugs, now I know this sounds like a bad idea but my logic was if he retaliates he can't run far and I can just say that I don't remember it, so after talking I tried to go in for a kiss to which he just curled up in a ball covering his face (not the best response to your attempted first kiss). Afterwards he remembered what I tried and was annoyed at me (again).

Straight boy may not be straight

A few months passed and I tried flirt with him, but nothing. Mike ended up going to college whist I stayed in sixth form, I then only saw him about once a week. It's over I thought, he's left and has yet another girlfriend, I was friends (well acquiescences) with this girl that he was dating and one day when I was talking to her she did say "[Mike's] told me that he has questioned his sexuality" I was shocked, I have another chance but then remembered that he was in a relationship so I waited. When he broke up with his current girlfriend I tried to find a way to get with him so I went to my best friends party. When I got there, there he was, Mike, I was so nervous that I ended up drinking much more than I should of, I stumbled out of my seat (yes that is possible) and went over to him, I said "[Mike] I need to tell you something" he looked at me with my other friend who already knew, I just said "I'm a virgin" now this wasn't really much surprise as he already knew so he just kind of ignored me. As the night went on I tried flirting with him more until he said "I think I might be bisexual, but I don't know and want to find out by myself" at this point he turned to me. I got scared so I did the inly thing that seemed logical at this point in time I drank. Now the rest of the night is hard to remember, but heres what I do remember- Bacardi, Bacardi, Bacardi, dancing, Bacardi, throwing up, "CALL MY BEST FRIEND" I said who stayed on a call with me for half an hour as I threw up. And that's all I remember.

After the Party and Advice

The next day I asked how much Mike remembered to which he responded with "the last thing I remember is you telling me you're a virgin". Since then I have watched him fall in love twice as he watched my heart slowly break more and more. So my advice is

  • IF HE'S STRAIGHT, HE'S STRAIGHT
  • But always remember that love is love and you can't help it, it may hurt but even by telling them it might not change anything so it may be best to just keep it to yourself, whats more important, friendship or a 1% chance of love.

Kylonia

How many straight guys have you fallen in love with?

See results

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)