ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Advice for Brides

Updated on April 28, 2021


The only person who truly needs this advice is the Bride. And even if one found a way to tell her, the Bride won't listen.

The Bride doesn't want you to disturb her big day. The Bride does want anyone mentioning how less than 50% of all marriages do not end in divorce.

A Bride does not want to hear about domestic violence or adultery.

A Bride is the only person who believes that the man she is about to marry is perfect, and will never abuse or cheat on her.

In fact, even if he abused his previous girlfriend or wife, even if he cheated on his previous, even with her, she will never believe the same thing will happen when she's Mrs.

The Bride believes that man is marrying her because he loves her. The Bride believe she is going to be happy ever after.

Reality is not allowed to intervene.

The Signs

A Bride is the only person who is not ready for domestic violence and/or adultery,

Unless her intended has begun the slapping the day the engagement ring went on her finger, so she's signed up to be a punching bag, or he's never been faithful and she doens't care, it is going to take her by surprise.

Most brides were never even spoken to in a rough voice by their groom, so don't expect him to 'change'.

A Bride doesn't know that the man who makes her cry then consoles her gets pleasure out of hurting her.

She never wonders why he broke up with her on that Tuesday then came to ask her to marry him on the Thursday.

She doesn't even guess that he likes to hurt her. She doesn't being to appreciate that over time he will need to hurt her even more to get pleasure.

A Bride is not going to suspect that her husband isn't 'working late', doesn't 'have to help Bob move'. A bride is going to absolutely believe everything her groom tells her. And never analyse it.

Dare you warn the Bride of the possibilities she may face, you are destroying her big day.

If only

If one could warn the Bride not to lose her family or friends on marriage, to keep her interests, and her job, to have a life beyond her husband....

If one could find he words to make her see that having her own life, without him, that section in which she is her job or her post in the organisation, or linked to some hobby, so that if the marriage falls apart she doesn't lose 'her whole life'......

If only one could warn the Bride to be alert to changes in his behaviour...

But how?

If one could warn the Bride that her marriage isn't 'different' ....?

Every abuser, whether he lives in Kinshasa, Kingston, or Kings County, follows the same pattern.

If she just became alert to the fact there was a pattern, perhaps she might see it.

If one could warn the Bride that no matter how beautiful and good she is that will not protect her against him committing adultery.

If her husband is minded to cheat, he will fall into bed with the first female who opens her legs.

His cheating has nothing to do with her, because he, her beloved husband, will not be thinking of her as he rolls on soiled sheets...

But one can't warn the Bride.

It will spoil the Big Day.

Jumping without a Parachute

So we smile, tell her how beautiful she looks, and let her go off without warning. She's never read that 'chapter' in the 'Facts of Life'; and we know it.

We know that unless her Best Friend or relative went through a Bad Marriage sometime in the past five years, so that it's fresh enough in her mind, she is going as a lamb to the slaughter.

Some place in our souls we want to make her understand the problems, the dangers, the possibilities, so that it won't take her unaware.

But we can't.

For we will Spoil Her Big Day.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)