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- Relationship Problems & Advice
Affairs in Relationships and Can They Be Repaired
The Healing Process
Facing the Problem Headon Can Help in Resolving the Problem
I am of the firm opinion that unless there is some serious underlying mental or emotional problem leading to severe instability then only would you need counciling otherwise you would just be waisting your money and time. I do, however, believe that in some cases where parenting issues exist that could destroy a relationship that counciling is necessary.If one is involved in cassual dating with no real commitment I do not feel that cheating in this case should really matter. Of course a person needs to consider how each of them feels about sex, if agreed upon, should indeed be protected sex. That, in my opinion, is a personal issue between two consenting adults.
A prenuptial or premarital Relationship
When a couple decides to become ingaged they are now beginning the first steps toward total and lasting commitment and it should be treated seriously. It is the beggining of a test of whether the couple acctually can begin the marriage process. Any hidden or blatantly open affairs should at all times be forbiden. If it is ever discovered and proven that either one or both partners in the relationship has crossed those lines the relationship should absolutely not be put on hold but ended. I am of the opinion that it would be catastrophic to enter on into marriage after such violations have occured. In this case either one or both parners should simply consider whether they are ready for a true commitment. I do not believe that in any circomstance should they reconsider marrying each other. My thinking in this instance is that this would build a solid ground for a working prenuptial and married relationship.
Affairs inside of marriage.
Let's first examine what can cause an affair inside of a marriage. The pressures of finance and raising children can cause an outside affair in marriage in which case, I do believe, that if the couple has been married for some time, may possibly could involve counciling. If one or both partners in the marriage, considering if just one or both cheated, truly feel remorse. It would be self righteous to want to believe that mistakes due to undue pressure could not cause undsired cheating within a marriage.
Why couples ourright wrongfully cheat in marriage
Let us be frank in broaching this issue. I am not about to try and break down the difference in men's and women's emotions because I believe that in this instance the same thing that effects one affects the other. Lustfullness and an insatiable desire for sex can and does cause extra marrital affairs. I do, however want to note that certain problems involving sex can lead to counciling but in cases where people are lying to each other and hiding their affairs, this has absolutely nothing to do with it. Another problem is using an issue that bothers you to cause you to have an affair. If issues are repeatedly avoided and are not being delt with and no honest attempt has been made to deal with them, then divoice may be the only solution. In making this statement I want to clearly express that living together to avoid paying child support, unwillingness to live on one's own for any reason including being poor is no excuse to stay married. This could only end in constant quarreling, and mental and physical abuse. If you find yourself continuing having elicit affairs and feel that your marriage is safe if the other person does not find out and feel you truly love yourr partner but repeatedly do the same thing again and again, search for someone to be with, and, infact truly injoy it, then maybe its time to, qouting an old song, "make a new plan, Stan." In other words, get out.
Crisis that lead to breakups.
In some cases sickniss, death of a child, rape and debilitating injury or surgery can lead to affairs and eventual breakup. In this case each person must confront their own honisty in answering the question if they indeed want to continue their marrital relationship. If the answer is yes for both of them, and they both must agree, then getting to work on it with the approiate means necessary is the way to resolve it. If not divoice, which is not always an ugly word, will be the only solution.
The inability to make the right decissions
In some cases one may feel that the other is incomeitent in making the correct decissions. This depends on a lot of things. Is this a true assessment by the other person or are they thinking incorectly or really have the ability to judge the situation. In either situation if this cannot be resolved the marriage may very well be desolved.
So you see that taking marrital vows is a serious matter that most couples shy away from because they feel that they may lose each other. In this article I have tried to take a truly unbiased look at affairs and how to resolve them. Whether marriage should last until the end of you life is a moral issue which I will not address because I believe that people make honest mistakes sometimes in choosing their soulmate and thus should be given another chance for marrital fulfillment. I will add that multiple marriages would to me only involve people who feel no sinse of true commitment and obligation of marriage which I feel has to be considered by the person they are wanting to marry.