- Gender and Relationships»
- Romantic Intimacy
Pregnancy or Abstinence
So you’ve lost your virginity and yours is not the case of a missing hymen. You did have sex. Maybe you didn’t want to but you did and now you are feeling I shouldn’t have. Why did I wait this long only to throw it away so easily? If you lose your virginity in your 20’s you’ll be matured enough to know what you are getting into. However, if you lose it to the wrong person at this age it is something you may regret forever. Your reaction to losing your virginity may be:
- The feeling of shame and unworthiness
- Hatred for the person you lost it to.
The misconception that losing your virginity means you'll always be sexually active with your present sexual partner, your next casual or serious relationship or all dates or hook ups is very wrong. You may find out that there isnt much to sex.
Well, you need not resent yourself for what you did. It happens to the best of them. You also need not become a street dog after you lose your virginity. There is a tendency for you to feel “well the horses are out of the carts now, why shut the door” but it’s not, you own your body and can decide to use it the way you want it. The fact that you have lost your innocence does not mean you should turn yourself into a cheap rag in search for experience.
A lot of people start to feel very unworthy and dwell on past mistakes especially when it has to do with sex. You should be able to decide when to have sex and when not to. We all have sexual urges and what makes us human is our ability to control them. The urges will be greater now that you’ve tasted sex but your ability to control them now is what shows you that you are stronger and wiser. No one should tell you that there is no point in abstinence when you’ve lost your hymen through the only thing that truly takes your innocence and makes you a woman or a man.
Now you need to be quite informed if you want to continue to be sexually active. Sex comes with a lot of emotional, spiritual, physical and psychological baggage you may not want to carry if you really had time to think about it. You need to understand that there so many sexually transmitted diseases (STD) out there and they don’t care if you are a good girl gone bad or it is your second, third time. The deadliest of the all is the HIV and AIDS. As at now it does not have a cure and you really don’t want it on your list of problems. There are also others like syphilis, gonorrhea, herpes e.t.c these usually if not well treated have other effect that can affect your fertility and potency in the future.
For the ladies, who are the main concern of this article, the possibility of pregnancy is also a very important point to consider. You may say this possibly has a way out which is abortion but I tell you, you don’t want to abort a pregnancy that resulted from your first attempt at sex. You are usually more attached to it than to other pregnancy that may occur in your later years. This is because you may see it as a pure conception, a blessing from your first encounter. Some people get so attached to these aborted first pregnancy that they name the children and watch them grow in their subconscious mind. They treat every other first child they get in later years after the abortion as the second child. You don’t want this emotional trauma in your plate.
What I would advise is that you take your time after losing your virginity. Don’t let anybody or even your urges rush you into continuing active sex until you have it all figured out. Think and make a firm decision. If you want to stop sex and become a born again virgin as I’ll call you, then be firm about it. Don’t let statements like
“I think I don’t want this any more”
“Maybe we can do it later but no for now”
come out of your mouth. They only show your decision is not yet made or not strong enough. This is an invitation to any predator around. Lets hear words like
“I know I’m not a virgin and I don’t want sex any more”
"well, I rather keep my pants on thank you”.
Don’t apologize for you decisions, it only shows signs of weakness. If you fall, do pick yourself up and start again. You can also attend some abstinence only programs for abstinence education, this will help you strengthen your decision.
However, if your decision is to shun abstinence continue active sex, then do your research. Learn the consequence and do think deeply and find out if you have the strength to face the consequences and if they are worth the enjoyment. Condoms are all round best friends, they prevent unplanned pregnancies and STD’s but they are not 100% perfect. They have been known to burst in action - you know what I mean. There are also other contraceptives that can keep away unplanned pregnancy which is one of the consequences of active sex. You just need to talk to a medical personnel and find out which is best for you.