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Age Gap Relationships

Updated on February 18, 2008

Age Gap Relationships

I've always said that 'age is just a number'. Some people agree with me; a lot of people don't. Depending on our up-bringing, cultural background and even our religion, age gap relationships are either frowned upon (this being most common) or accepted. Age gap relationships are frowned upon mainly because of their abnormality. Most people would look at a 50 year old and a 25 year old together and think "that's just not right".

Believe it or not, age gap relationships are becoming more and more 'popular' these days. One thing I can not stand is when people say that if someone is in a age gap relationship they must be looking for a father-figure or a mother-figure. I for one, am in an age gap relationship and I can tell you right now, I am not after a father-figure. I will admit, some people may be, but let's not generalise.

Another problem with age gap relationships is family acceptance. This is very rare. It may be tolerated, but family always find it hard to accept something out of the ordinary. I will not generalise on this because some people may have very open-minded parents, but when you really think about it, if you had a son or daughter dating someone the same age as his/her father/mother, do you really think he/she would be 'all for it'?

Age gap relationships can vary (of course) in age gap size. Some can be quite small; anywhere between 5 to 10 years, whereas there can be some fairly 'out-there' ones; anywhere between 25 to 45 years (and up)! But don't think that 30 year age gap relationships are rare. Large age gaps are quite common now-a-days. I'm sure there are a few people out there that believe everything gets better with age, and I must admit, I am guilty as charged.

This topic is extremely controversial and lengthy. I could go on forever (especially if I were to cover all the points). There are a lot of people who are strongly against age gap relationships and some that are not fussed by them. But, to you all I leave you with a quote of mine:

"There is no such thing as young or old, only younger and older. You will always have someone younger than you and you will always have someone older than you."

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      Lutpi 2 years ago

      This is an arlitce that makes you think "never thought of that!"

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      just wondering 2 years ago

      Not yet any comments from anybody 20, 30, 40+ yrs older or younger than his/her companion after being together 20, 30, 40+ years??

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      PandaR 4 years ago

      It's good to read other people have age gap relationships in the world! I'm 23 and have been going out with my partner for almost a year, he is 63. We met through my work and knew each other for 2 years before we started seeing each other. Since we have been together we have been through a lot, especially at the beginning as he was diagnosed with cancer. However we got through this and I love him to bits. Being with him I know now what real love actually is. He told his family about us a few months into our relationship and they were all fine. My mum has met him several times but doesn't know that we are together. As I am aware my family and friends will not be happy with it, but I feel like I am having to live this double life, and I feel I've been doing it for too long. A part of me wants to just set him free to possibly live a life with someone his own age, as if he stay together one day we will both get hurt, if I let him go he will be able to live with someone his own age and who he will be able to have a normal relationship with. I just don't know what to do, we love each other very much, but sometimes I just feel trapped between how to deal with family and our future.

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      fenty124 4 years ago

      I am blackfemale and actually in a age gap relationship with a white male.I am 23 and he is 57.We have been dating for 3 months.He makes me so so happy and we love each other very much.I will like to communicate with someone in thesame age gap relationship as i am. feel free to add or write to me; laurabrown455@yahoo.com

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      Milley 5 years ago

      I am 18 turning 19 he is 38- turning 39...and my my my I just adore that man...how hard he works and he's so driven, ambitious you name it FOCUS! Iwant to be there to support him pamper him cause he deserve's it I'll even learn how to be awesome cook -just for him , make him warm bubble baths have his kids(he has none) be his first and last to be beside him at that altar yes HIS FIRST etc.Now all I want to do is just tell him how I feel -everyone around me tells me he obviously he sense something . Now what should I do..tell him how I feel or just wait around wondering 'what if' ', what if'?

      The 20 year age gap is definitely no problem for me...all that concern me is how he feels to towards it....or yes he just may not be interested that too. I do know he had a gf who was 11 years his junior would another 9 years to that me too much for him?

      I make sure I give him his credits on how much he works hard.....I am already showing him am there to support him and appreciate his hard work...only if he see's it...cause I doubt anyone has told him that..they just seem to be around for good times and help!

      So please get back to me thank you!

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      Doug 5 years ago

      As always we continue in our journeys and the age differences affects us all differently as it affects those others in our lives. I wonder if there is an age threshold of the younger partner after which there is less of a reaction? My partner is the same age and slightly younger than my children but a bit older than my nephews.

      My observation is that once the 30 year threshold is crossed, parents, siblings, friends that have been around for a long time, all seem to relax. It's almost as if the "free in the twenties to settle in the thirties" aspect kicks in.

      Our age difference, focuses us clearly on the moment ....

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      Jeje 5 years ago

      I love these posts...its nice to know I am not alone. I met the love of my live 3 years ago. I am 50, he is 25, I never would have imagined I would find myself in a relationship with such an age gap. But, you love who you love. My family and the majority of my friends are not accepting and think I have lost my mind. I wish everyone would just stop focusing on the age and see the people and the relationship for what it really is.

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      Mark 5 years ago

      I have been with the same women for 12 years. I am 51 she is 29. Well let me tell you something. I love this women with all my heart. We have 2 wonderful children, a 4 year old girl and a 6 year old boy. The age difference wasn't a real big thing until now. Honestly and believe me this is hard to say, i think if it weren't for our children we would not be together. It is getting to be a 1 way street in our relationship. I am in love and she is not. She loves me but the in part is gone. I think if i was around her age everything would be fine. Most couples grow together. But at 51, i guess I have growed enough and she is still growing emotionally. I don't think it was all a mistake especially the kids, but I am the one that has the broken heart,,

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      Tim 5 years ago

      @JRO, quite simply at your respective ages an 8 year age gap is not too much, it really is up to you. if you are happy together stay together.

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      JRO 5 years ago

      Sorry I meant to write above we have been together for almost 8 years....

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      JRO 5 years ago

      I'm 40 and my boyfriend is 32. We've been together. Is 8 years age gap too much?? His parents are not accepting of it but we have been strong since day one except now they are pressuring him with comments that he will regret if he marries me because the age gap will effect him later in life!!!

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      Lozj1 5 years ago

      @Hannah - Im 17 and the man I love is 29, our birthdays two days difference so this is the same problem for me. 12Yr difference.

      My parents found out bout me and I think they felt disgusted...they avoided the subject a lot after they found out. I had to pretend im not talking to him to get them to cheer up..I really dont like being around my parents at the moment, I feel they look down upon me and think its wrong when in-fact I did nothing wrong and am still not doing anything wrong. I am not going to let them spoil my chances of being happy. Theres no discussion needed. Over time I will tell my parents again bout my man but want to let the relationship blossom a bit more first.

      do you live with your parents?

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      hannah 5 years ago

      I'm 18years old and I'm in love with 30 years old guy, I don't know what to do about it, and no one knows about it. if my parents get to know this.. I don't think the will love to see me again.

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      Alicia 5 years ago

      Me myself i am in a relationship with a 52 year old and i am only 27 and i feel as if we are meant to be.

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      Angel 5 years ago

      I just married my best friend, who is 64. I am 31. We dated when I divorced my child's father, when I was 22 and he was in his fifties. At that time, we lived together and said we were "roommates". I was too scared to tell my family and most friends. Also, he has a disability caused from the war in Vietnam, so there is that also. Anyway, after being together in my early 20's for 2.5 years, he told me I should "see the world, go to college, date younger men than him." I was devasated, but what could I do? He is the only ex I've ever remained friends with and he's been the best friend I've ever had. After living with him, we were never intimate again, as I was dating (many) other men. I also obtained several college degrees. This January 2012, after a terrible break-up from an abusive boyfriend, I asked him if I could stay at his home for awhile, and give him money to build a little cabin on his property. Well, totaly out of the blue, he asked me to marry him. He told me if we married, my child and I would get great healthcare, free education, and I'd receive his pension and disabiity when he passes. This is because he's a disabled veteran. He told me he's always loved me and is tired of seeing me abused by men. He said he knew I needed to "sow my wild oats" and now, if we married, it was, for him, about my long-term security, and not about sex. Nonetheless, since we married in February 2012, we've decided to resume the relationship we ended in 2005. All of this time, he's been the keeper of my most secret secrets, a shoulder to lean on, and even my childcare provider and a father figure for my child. I love him, he loves me and my daughter is so happy we are married. I would consider having a child with him, in fact. I'm still attending college which he totally supports. All the other boyfriends I had were intimidated by me attending college. This just goes to show the difference in maturity in younger/older men. We live in a small town and I know people say things, but I no longer care. We are happy together. People are just jealous! I feel safe, secure, loved and cherished, and I enjoy that he's not pawing at me like a young man. I'm happy he gave me the chance to, basically, "grow up" for the past several years, though. People change a lot in 5-10 years; it really did make a difference. The marriage came totally out of the blue. But, when life gives you chances, sometimes they only come once. Do what your heart desires...

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      loobie 5 years ago

      @ 'Lost and insecure 13 months ago' Everything you have said is the same situation i am in, I wondered where you are now 13 months on from your post?

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      confussed 5 years ago

      I am interested in this guy that is 25 years older than me. I honestly never believed i could be attracted to someone that much older. He is a couple years older than my father which seems weird. I am not sure that my family will be able to accept it. He is hesistant on us being together because he knows my father. Though he is interested in me. I know we can't help who we like I just don't know what I should do.....

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      Leigh 5 years ago

      Well, me and my boyfriend are currently six years apart. I have always dated older guys, and most young girls are in love every other week; however, I've never felt that way about anyone. Things are very different with him, and my parents of course, are not okay with us. They don't even know about the relationship part of things; I told them we were friends and they flipped, so I decided to tell them no more. We plan on getting married, and I plan on moving in with him in about a year.. We're working on what are best options are so my parents can do nothing about me and him. I know things are extremely risky when it comes to an age gap where one person is a minor, but I think in the end if I have no other options emancipation will be my best bet. My parents believe that no man can want to be with someone younger than them without only wanting sex. This is completely false. Me and him have already discussed this, and after our discussion sex doesn't even come up in conversation. Things are very serious between us, and we focus on important things; such as bills, school, etc. He's a hard worker, and he puts my school first. He's more focused on OUR future at the moment than anything, which includes getting me graduated and into college. He has told me many times before that he doesn't want our relationship to have a bad impact on me.. We have our priorities in order. I feel like he's perfect for me. I have always connected with older people, being that I grew up very fast. I always hung out with my older sister's friends and I've never really had friends my age. I'm well beyond my years and many people have told me that many times throughout my life. I love him, and he keeps me going on the right path. I have a few years to figure out what we're to do, but I hope we don't end up having to deal with any legal problems. God bless all of you dealing with the same things, though. I hope for the best for you and your significant others. Remember, if you're having problems, things can only get better. (:

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      Teiah54 5 years ago

      Update!! My guy that's 18 yrs older than me, ended up breaking my heart. Telling me we're too different. And from his whole experiences in relationships, he said he knew that I would end up leaving him. :( Said he's meant to be alone so he doesn't disappoint anyone or have to make any efforts.

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      tbase 5 years ago

      well.i see nothing wrong in be in a relationship with someone that is older than you either male or female.am in a relationship with a woman who is 25yrs while am 24.we pkay together,we chat and she has be a wonderful,an excellent woman for me.we talk about the age bt we realize that age mean nothing.we live fine and things is going well for us.i love her so much,bt she love me more than i do...

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      Danielle 5 years ago

      @ Tim, that is very helpful. Thank you so much. My boyfriend and I are discussing the options. It's so hard because he leaves most of the decisions about telling the parents up to me. He'll have to tell his children and family as well. Once again, thanks.

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      Jean 5 years ago

      I love this whole post. My boyfriend is 43 and I am 19. Neither of us act our age, I feel like I'm 30 and he acts like he's about 35. Him and I get along better than any man I've ever been with. I know he is my soulmate. I've been with him for over a year now and we have no plans of stopping this. We have both met eachothers family and they can just tell we are perfect together so how could they ever be judgmental? He's a great person... The only downfall we have is that he focuses very heavily on work which I can appreciate but sometimes it makes me kind of fall to the way side with him. I can't speak for every relationship with a age gap because I don't know some of their motivations but neither of ours are ill-directed. I would love to meet more people in age-gap relationships.

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      Tim 5 years ago

      @ Danielle, just my opinion! you have said that your different race could only add to problems. for a moment separate the two issues of race and age how would they be if you were with a 66 year old black man? age obviously! or a 22 year old white man? from what you have posted you dont think they would be ok with both parts of this,concentrate on if you should tell them first then you can think about how, again separate the two for a moment as this really can help you look at things more clearly. how long has this relationship been going on? perhaps you should set yourself a deadline say in four months time that you should tell them this will give you a chance to think about how when your deadline arrives hope this helps as they say.

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      Ella 5 years ago

      Can I just say how much I love these posts? My boyfriend is 35 years older than me and we are truly in love. My family does not know about him and my biggest fear is that they will cut me out of their lives once they find out. I wish more people were accepting of age gap relationships, because we can't help who we fall in love with...it just happens. I love him more than anything and I have no interest in dating men that are my age. I've felt alone these past few years, because I've never met anyone in a similar situation, but everyone's stories have made me feel not as alone. It would make me proud if I could help another couple who is going through the same predicament. Good luck to everyone in their loving relationships...we only live once so be with whoever you want to be with as long as its a healthy and happy relationship!

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      Danielle 5 years ago

      I'm 19 and in a relationship with a 66 year old man. I don't know how or if I should tell my parents. I understand the difficulties that are going to come with an age gap this big. But he already has my heart..There's no going back now! Also, we are an interracial couple (I'm black, he's white). This could only add to problems... Advice would be greatly appreciated. :)

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      LatestDud 5 years ago from Gold Coast (Queensland, Australia)

      Thank you, Tim! I hope we do too! =D

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      Tim 5 years ago

      @ LatestDud,hope you both have a long and happy life together.best wishes from England x

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      GAVIOTA FRECHELA 5 years ago

      Hello Everyone, I was married for over a decade, after my husband cheated with an old flame from his same town, I was devastated. I felt that my entire life was a big lie, and I felt betrayed, insecure, lonely, and very hurt. After about a year after being depressed, jobless, and feeling sorry for myself, I started meeting much younger man, 15 to 20 year gap. I started experimenting, and being permissive to promiscuous behaviors. I built my confidence back, and thought my ex was a great love, naw naw naw... I have got better sex, much fun, youthfulness come out of me, noone believe I am in my late 40th's never being this happy in my entire life!!!! the best recipe for any woman that have been in my shoes, is not be afraid experience younger man, in addition to have in better sex, higher self esteem, confidence, I gain love for life, in younger man, full of life, and open minded, I can say, I feel my youth cameback and so my confidence, and spirits, they learn from my wisdom, I enjoy being silly, playful, and currently I have three boyfriends, all out of town, my rules, my game, and they all fit for different purposes in my life, instead of having one imperfect man, I have three combined perfect man...its AMAZING.... everyone thinks I have had the works done, when in fact, is not being with a liar, bastard, jerk, cheater, deceitful husband, got me the BEST FREEDOM,and experiences I would never had, no stress, beauty in the rise, and HAPPINESS!!!!!

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      Jock 5 years ago

      I'm 62 and she is 29. There is chemistry but I'm unsure what the fascination is. When we're together she can't take her eyes off me. She stands there smiling seemingly afraid to do or say anything. While flattering it's really quite unsettling as I don't know what to do. I feel all the sensations of a younger man, nothing's changed except how I look and my physical fitness. It could be charisma, friendship or more. Best take it slowly and rationally. I enjoy her company although I do not know her at all. She comes to my door, it's her job, delivery driver but is slow to move on to her next delivery, like she's waiting for something.

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      Author

      LatestDud 5 years ago from Gold Coast (Queensland, Australia)

      I'm glad everyone is helping each other out! Glad my hub could make some kind of difference! Just thought I'd let you all know - I got married on March 24th this year, to my partner of 2 years. He is 15 years older than me! Nothing but happiness! Everything is possible! =)

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      kay 5 years ago

      I am 23 and my partner is 63. It was such a big age gap. We met a year ago and after 6 months of seeing each other once a mont we decided to live together. He is a married man and I dont know how it happens that I accept this.As I know before I came with him everything is fine speccially with his family. But its not like that. I know they live together for such a long year and it was difficult for his son and daughter what happened because they are really close with their dad and mom. I met his daughter once and his son, we spend so much time with his son and I really felt how difficult for him that his dad decided to separate with his mom. He says that they are not against with me, but he is asking for some time specially for his mom to accept the fact that its over. Only his son and daughter knows the status of their relationship. Thats why when he started to put some pictures of us in his facebook he got messages from his relatives and they was telling him what the mess his doing and why he didnt think about others feeling. Its hurt what they said to him but they dont know anything thats why they react like that. Im asking myself for so many times if is this right. I really dont want to hurt anyone, but my partner told me that his wife told him one time that if he will love again its only him and I feel how hard it is for her to let him go. What should I do...

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      Alice 5 years ago

      Damn autocorrect

      Feelings for him*

      I don't know how to gage if he is feeling the same due to the secrecy*

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      Alice 5 years ago

      I'm a 20 year old female who recently had become involved with my 46 yr old boss.Things have been going great, but lately I'm concerned. We've known each other for about a yr and a half and only during the recent months have made the change to intimacy. Unfortunately due to the scandal of our relationship, it's been kept a secret. I'm starting to develop felons for him and it scares the living shit out of me because I don't know hours to gage if he is feeling the same sure to the secrecy and his open guilt about us and my age. I have asked him if I should expect this to be a fling or if it was more, andhe assures me it is more. Last night he told me though that he wants someone exactly like me, but in their 30s. Does this guilt sound legitimate our is this just an excuse? My heart is hurting tonight..

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      wow,, and I thought these age relationships were far and few between, and I was one out of a million that this happened to,,, I am 54,he is 32,, and I tis the best think thing that has happened to me,if the compatability is there,you love each other and there is respect and understanding,there is no age,it's about 2 people in love and the age factor fades away and becomes a non issue,, you don't choose who you love, you just love, if the chemistry is there,your both consenting mature adults,,I can't and don't see the problem,in fact it's delightful,you both learn and contribute something to your partner,weather it's learned or taught,but in any relationship it should be that way, I had questioned it in the beginning why a younger man would be attracted to me,an older women, he said he saw no age only a woman he loves,, and I questioned and questioned, and the answer was always the same,, "It's love, " and so I accepted, It is a delightful union of 2 people, both with no hangups, no baggage, you grow the maturity levels together one becomes more mature one finds more youth,and you meet in the centre at the same age..

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      Annonymous 5 years ago

      I was in my 40s when I fell in love with a 21 year old boy. But since I was a married lady preferred to end the relationship but destiny bought us again together. My hubby expired and we met again after 4 years and now we have married again. But my family people have deserted me except for my child. My grown up son has taken compensation for being separated. But still harasses me for money...I am still fighting against this world for my pure love. God help me...:)

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      Crystal 5 years ago

      This has to be the best thing I have ever read. It has been so helpful. I am 23 and have a guy who I know is interested and he's 44. We met a few years ago and instantly clicked. I didn't know is age at first. But by looks I definitely didn't think he was 21 years older than me. When I found out his age I told him I wasn't comfortable with it. He understood but the heavy flirting continued. Which didn't bother me at all. Our friendship has grown so much over the years.

      Lately I have been thinking so much about him. He makes me feel so special. Always telling me how beautiful I am or how gorgeous I am or how hes crazy about me. He always treats me with so much respect. I trust him completely. I enjoy being around him so much. I want to be with him but I keep backing down. I feel like a horrible person but he doesn't see it that way. I keep apologizing because I feel like Im leading him on but everytime I apologize he tells me not to because there is no reason to apologize. That I am doing nothing wrong.

      I usually dont care about what others think but with this situation I have realized that I do care. We are bowlers and live in small towns so everyone we know knows our bussiness before we do. I dont want to be judged for the choices I make but I also dont want to go through life wondering what if. This could be the guy that turns my world upside down. I always saw myself with a guy closer to my age but they are so stupid and dont realize a good thing when its right in front of them. I have no idea what my family will think and so far I only have one supportive friend. (That I know of) I wish this was easier and I wish I could just open my heart to the possibility of being with him....

      Thanks for posting all of these stories. Its nice to know that there are others out there. :)

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      Lozj1 5 years ago

      @Tim - Hello! Everything is fab thank you! Spoke to him monday night and tuesday night, both times for over a hour each time on the phone. Was great, loved every moment. We get a long very well, always laughing and talking bout what we have in common. Hes always texting me now and I feel so happy. I dont feel so nervous to ring him anymore, I just hope I can meet him soon. We want to spend a full day together, because we think it would be more useful and more fun. He said the sweetest hting the other night, I asked if he would look after me if I went down to stay with him, and he was so sweet, saying he would and I know he would and it was in general just the way his voice changed to more like sweet concern, it was lovely. I am still keeping myself on high alert, I wont be letting my shield down till ive met him and he proves to be genuine. hehe.

      Hope all is ok.

      @Tara- Its actually a few younger men, older women. hehe. My dads younger then my mum. lol!

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      Tara 5 years ago

      Well, these accounts are nothing new--younger women, older men. Now, when men date older, or even their own age, then that'll be something to talk about.

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      Tim 5 years ago

      Hi Lozj1 hope things are going well for you. tim.

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      Tim 5 years ago

      me again! Imogen,there is no easy way but you already knew that didnt you? some possible ways are. just blurt it out!you my have to say it at least twice but after that it will be done, after initial shock/anger/anything they will most likely bombard you with questions and whatever happens you will not be able to untell them. you could leave a note or you could ask someone else to tell them, you could go out and then phone them to tell them.they are unlikely to be overjoyed to say the least! i am sure they want you to be happy but they would no doubt prefer you to say you had met a really great guy who is roughly the same age as you. i think it is true that this will not be a long term relationship and one day in the future you will be glad to have had the experience but happy to have moved on. for now you have to weigh up the need to tell them against any consequences.hope this helps you in some way

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      Lozj1 5 years ago

      @Sickened by the Norm - I understand where you are coming from, but ive had this chat and the man I am interested in, he is 29, 30 this December. Ive said how I dont think he could keep up with me (Playful banter, lol) And we have also had this discussion quite seriously too, he seems to think ill be the one not up to speed with him. Every one is different, so judging by age is not really fair in all cases.

      @Imogen - Luckily ive not got this issue, I told my mum last week how I felt bout a man and she just wanted me to be happy. On the other hand, I know my dad will fly off the rails when he discovers this. I tried looking up ways to explain to them both, but it was hopeless and a waste of time. Best thing to do is, if you are 100% sure your both ready to be together, start dating and if it is very serious and not just lust, then without your man, tell your parents, Do it when they are both there, so if one stands up and says there ok with it, the other one is not going to be far behind when it comes to accepting. After all, they would only want whats best for you, and if that means your happiness with that man, they will have to accept it some stage. Just keep nagging bout how your happiness should come first in all this.

      Hope I helped. x

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      Sickened by the Norm 5 years ago

      I do not understand the younger girl older man thing with the exception of wanting a daddy....without Viagra an older man is just not up to my speed on the sexual part... .... as it is men who usually stop taking care of themselves with bad eating habits and drinking heavy....I am 41 and always look younger than men in their lower 30s....if not wanting children is involved this should be the way....oh and to Imogen...honey you will bore of that older man...besides he will eventually bore of you as well...you are way too young to ruin your life with that guy

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      Imogen 5 years ago

      I have been researching all day about how to try explain to my parents that I'm in a relationship with a 38 yr old, at the moment I am almost 20. He has 4 children and his oldest is the year below me, even though his son is comfortable with it I am dreading telling my parents as I'm scared they will not accept me or him. He treats me the best i have ever been treated by any male before and I'm totally smitten with him. surely they would want me to be happy but recently my mum discovered a girl from my year at school l was in a relationship with a 40 year old and to say the least she is "disgusted" by the thought :(

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      Hollz 5 years ago

      Tim, yeah we are leaving it at the moment so we can think of the best way for us. It's just sad that people are so closed minded even when it's for other peoples happiness. Thank you for your help.

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      Tim 5 years ago

      Holz,not sure if this will be any help but my first thoughts are that it would not be a good idea to tell them at all,at least not now. it seems to me that they would react very badly and given how they reacted before who knows what could happen they are obviously very angry. say nothing for now at least that will give you time to think about your options and maybe find a way forward. anyone else on here got anything constructive to say?

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      Tim 5 years ago

      Lozj1, if i have helped you or anyone else on here in even the smallest way i am really pleased. i think that is was a good idea to have told your mum at least she now knows what is going on in your life and you can talk to her about it. i hope it all goes well when you do finally meet him. to others who find there way on here, many people on here are asking for help,advice or just an opinion.if you think you have something constructive to say please say it.i am intending to post how i found my way on to here but just need to condense it down a bit!

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      Hollz 5 years ago

      Hi everyone. This has been a relief to read all of your personal stories and know that I'm not the only one with a big age gap relationship. I actually need some advice any help would be much appreciated.

      I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 58 (59 this year so around 40 year gap). We have been together for just over a year and nobody really knew except some of his friends and one of mine (the main one I trust). Anyway when we got together I had been having problems with my mum for years basically she likes to be in control of everyone and I didn't like it. It ended up I lived with my partner for three months, then I got threats off of my family to go back and stay with my mum or there would be trouble at his door. I moved back to protet him but we were still together. That weekend my uncle went to his door and tried to kill him. When I went to my boyfriends house the next day the door was full of stab marks from the knife my uncle had obviously been using. We got the police involved but unfortunately they did nothing even though I gave his name and address. My boyfriend then moved away and I followed a few months later so we could be together in peace but my family didn't know we were living together as it would have caused trouble. It has went horribly wrong, almost a year after moving someone had spotted us and went and told my auntie who obviously told my mum. At first I was given the ultimatum, either him or her I said I would rather be happy and living with him rather than unhappy and with her in a city I dont even like. Of course, she was bluffing and again gave me the threats, so now I have returned to her house and I've been here for almost a week. It's driving me crazy, all I want is to be home with the man I love and to be left in peace.

      What I want advice on is how do I tell my family that I am in a relationship with him if she couldnt even accept him helping me out when we were having problems. We want to do it so theres not a lot of trouble but of course there will be trouble either way. Like I said all we want is to be together.

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      Cai 5 years ago

      Hello everyone..I feel so much better after reading your blog. Currently I am in a relationship with a man who is 16years older than me (me24-he39 going 40 next month) I am so happy to get to know him like everyone else here..I have never been happier in my life till I have him. Truly it doesn't matter whom we are settling with. As long as we are happy as well as infect someone with that kind of happiness..then life is worth living..

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      Lozj1 5 years ago

      @Tim -

      Thank you for your advice, I have actually told my mum about this since I felt she needed to know, and I wanted her advice since she knows more then I do.

      She was shocked, but she listened to me and I explained how things where, I think she thought right up till I told her we'd spoken on the phone, its just something im over reacting about. She had to repeat what I said bout talking on the phone to him. It was actually quite funny.

      So yea, I spoke to him on the phone the other day for the first time. His voice was amazing, it truely did take my breath away, I found myself pausing a lot so he could keep talking, haha. We spoke for bout 15 minutes, didn't want to talk for hours since we was both busy. We just wanted a voice to go with the messages.

      I am overall very protective with myself around guys, I tend to avoid going near them and when I started talking to this guy, I was very alert, I still am alert about talking to him.

      We decided to send each other daily photos of what we are doing and its working so far, I have his facebook which has got his dad and sister on it. I know this is not really useful but it shows hes not fake.

      He really is out to impress not only me but my family, hes said if we get together, he wants to prove to my family how serious he is bout us. Hes told me lately bout his past relationships which was really nice of him.

      I think I am at the stage where I am thinking, "If I dont meet him ill regret it, I can see a future with him, I am not stupid and I know what I want and I dont want, he knows too since ive told him, I cant just turn him down because ive never met him, dating sites work for people. I am happy and thats all that matters."

      I wont truely know till ive met him, so thats what I plan to do in a open public place, in my town where I have the advantage of knowing the area. Hes been to my town before but not in years.

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      Tim 5 years ago

      Kuro shojo. as you point out you are still a child, one day you will be an adult and he will still be an adult. when you get there that will never change! when that time comes you will be in a position where you can see how you really feel. for now i think you may simply have a crush on this man this is very common and will likely soon pass and you will wonder what on earth you were thinking. do you have an older female relative you could talk to? or a tutor at school? tell them how you feel. you need to talk to someone you know and can trust and not just try and deal with it on your own.sorry if this all sounds a bit condescending. ps. to all. also sorry if it seems like i suddenly feel qualified to advise everybody!

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      Twenty 5 years ago

      Who was I when I was 16? What about 17? and 18? 19? 20?

      Each year, I realized how foolish I was just the year before. Each year, I became someone new.

      Who will I be at 21? 25? 30?

      How can I trust a heart so prone to change?

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      Tim 5 years ago

      Lozj1, the only way you are going to know is to meet him but be very careful and do this in a public place like a cafe where there is lots of people around,make sure you have a trusted friend with you who can sit nearby just to make sure you are ok.obviously you dont tell him this.then you can see how things go and decide if you want to see him again. at the moment you have no idea if the photos you have seen are actualy him! so arrange to meet and make sure you protect yourself and see how it goes i do hope that he is genuine but at the moment you have no real idea of who you are talking to. i do hope that all is that it seems.

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      Lozj1 5 years ago

      hello everyone. :)

      So Ive been reading the comments here, and its helped me a lot.

      Ive liked this guy, and we have not known each other for that long, but since we started talking we have gotten SO far. We talk almost every day. Sadly, he found out some really sad news last week so had been a bit distant for about 2-3 days but thats only understandable. Were talking fine now :)

      Anyway, so we talk all the time via text, I am 17 and he is 29, both our birthdays are in December.

      I know so much about him, and he knows a lot bout me. Hes funny, smart, kind and charming, not forgetting handsome. Hes everything I would want in a guy, I really really like him and every day I wake up thinking bout him. hes made me smile every day and I make him smile so hes said.

      The age gap is not that big, but still, he'll be 30 two days after I turn 18 so it kinda looks bad.

      We have said that it doesn't matter as long as we are happy and he lives about 30-40 mins drive from me which would make it a long distance relationship but thats ok with us both. Ive never felt so comfortable talking to a guy. I mean, we are both very careful, were both thinking really realistic since were pretty serious about each other.

      Ive told 2 friends, 1 of them, likes the idea of me just being happy. The other hates the idea of me dating a guy that much older then me. Shes totally against it.

      Ive not told my parents, ive decided im not going to mention it to them, not till I know I am going to date him and were in a serious relationship for longer then 2 minutes. We are just friends right now, since its stupid idea to start dating before we've even met, but we have both been exchanging photos and chatting constantly. Hes told his one close mate and hes happy for us.

      I know I can make him happy and he'd automatically make me happy.

      I know it seems stupid since ive not offically met him but I have strong feelings for him (not love but strong feelings).

      Any feed backs welcome, aha :)

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      Tita 5 years ago

      Teiah, at list u know what u want and how u feel towards him, one thing I know is everybody deserves a second chance specially when there's feeling on both side. Just be patience I'm sure it is not easy for u or him let him cleard up his mind and to settle his feeling toward you.

      I try talking to my boyfriend today but for some reason I broke down on tears that I did not took a step, even if i took a step it will be difficult to avoid him because we both live on the same block that we see each other every day. At the same time I'm also scared on taking a step because im not sure if that is what i want ar this time in addition he is helping me out

      economically now that I'm not working. eventually we both decide to have a talk this fallowing weekend and to decided what is going to happen with this relationship, I'm scared but like I said I want him to be happy

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      Teiah54 5 years ago

      @Tita.. take a break..tell him you need space and take that time! Don't talk, text, email.. no communications! And by a week, if you're ok with it.. then let him go. Even if he begs, let him go.

      My guy... he wants more time! Says he still wants us but has a lot of frustrations. Who knows?? I hope he still wants me but I can't hold my breath.. even then.. I now question a lot of things about our relationship.

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      Tita 5 years ago

      Thanks Teiah, Honetly i have ask my self if I would be ok if he found someone else and I'm not sure if I will be ok but one thing I'm sure is that I pray to god if he those is just to put the wright girl that would truly love him like I did before or better. My question is why is it that I'm relly scared and why those it hurt so much? I have never felt this way, I cannot explain what happen everything was goin so well before and I never had no question of the love I felt or had for him we had plans on moving in to gether an my daughter too. Like I said I been seen things different for about a month , I ask my self why is it that I care more about his age when I never did before, it is so hard to explain everything and posting it ,

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      Teiah54 5 years ago

      Tita... if you really love him you would not even question it!! Don't settle for him because he sure about you. Love isn't about age. Would you love him less if you're having to wipe his butt because he's too old to do it himself? I asked myself the same questions. Think about, what he stops doing what he does for you. If he's out of your life,if he met someone else.. would you be ok with that?

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      Tita 5 years ago

      Im 29 going to 30 I been dating my boyfriend for 4years, he is 48 for some reason I been having second thoughts of being with him, I'm not sure if I truly love him like I did before, I know that I'm concern of his age and I'm scared that he is getting older that I wonder if I'm going to make it with him I am really confuse I want to let go but at the same time im scared that I won't find wonderful loving man like him, for some reason it is really painful for me I been feeling sad and deppress for the pass month just to know what to do, I'm scared to lose him and at the end to realize that it was just a face that I was going trough, i donot want to cause him more pain , like I told him, he deserves to be happy, but he is still waiting to see what happens between us. What should I do? I need an advice

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      justsomeblokehurting17 5 years ago

      im 17 close to 18 and the woman that is now my ex was 51 (33 year age gap) we've only been split up for about a month and few weeks and it just feels like my life has been crushed, we split because she said the age difference was affecting her and her kids know and she says it doesn't seem right for them. i live with her and her family and still sleep in same room but we're not dating, i just want her back and not knowing what to do hurts and destroys everything that i care about ive tried talking to her about us and if we could try not getting back to the old relationship but starting a new one and it just pisses her off and she just walks away to tell her kids what iv'e been saying. it hurts and she wants me to have children and a woman that i can grow old with but if she understood that all i really want is the one i love which is her maybe it might change her mind but iv'e said it to her and it's almost like she ignores it. im just not sure what to do anyone able to give me some advice maybe something i could say or do to be able to get her back or just someone to talk to she the only thing i really carea bout and i just want her back noone to talk to so i guess this is my last resort.

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      Teiah54 5 years ago

      We talked it out last week. But this week is another thing. One day he wasn't texting very much and I said he must be so busy. He didn't text all day, I texted him and said I was only telling him what I was thinking and how I was feeling. He said that it seems he's always defending himself everytime we talk. I said that I wasn't meaning him to feel attack and that I want him to be happy. After a day he said he didn't like feeling that way either. I replied, I don't either, he knows how I feel and he decides what he wants to do with us. Haven't heard from him since.

      My heart hurts.

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      Judy 5 years ago

      Hey Eileen, just follow your heart!!

      When I met my BF at Agelessmeet.com, I just worried about my feeling. Never worry about others!

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      Eilleen 5 years ago

      I love hese stories and such i have known this guy for about 2months we met on the internet and we have been flirting and enjoying every conversation we have sio much in common it ridiculous lol i feel like he cares s much like i do for him we know we both like each other we have talked about it im (17) hes (32) 16 years apart my mom knows and is ok but im so worried about others but at the same time it is my choice but it is long distance as i live in colorado and he lives in new york which i love it there to and have family there i really like him (falling in love) he feels the same and were so alike im just happy thats all i want is to bw happy so does he and sorry for the spelling im on my phone. I feel fore comfortable now reading everones stories thank you.

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      KuroShojo 5 years ago

      Is it okay for me(12) to be interested in someone who is 25? I've thinked through it a lot. I don't think this can work cause firstly, we never met. Second, I don't think he would like me. Third, I'm still a kid.

      I feel really negative thinking about stuff like these. What do ya think?

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      Author

      LatestDud 5 years ago from Gold Coast (Queensland, Australia)

      @Emilia - 6 and a half years? So you were 14 and a half when you first got together? Hmmm... last time I checked, that was a bit illegal.

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      Teiah54 5 years ago

      I'm unhappily married mother of 3. Became good friends with my boss who's 19 years older than me. Eventually started a relationship with him 2 1/2 years ago. I was really on and off with it due to the fact that I am married and have kids. He has been so wonderful to me and my kids. He's no longer my boss and we kept the relationship going. We started making plans to be together.

      The last few months we have been having alot of misunderstanding. He's changed alot, by the little things that he does and things that he says. We've broken up a couple of times due to misunderstandings in his part(through text). I'm so afraid. I've told him my insecurities that has come over me the last few months. He says that he still loves me and wants us to keep going. I'm worried. I love him so much but he's changed so much. I am turning the lives of my children around just to be with him but what if that reality is just temporary. I know that nothing is no guarantees..

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      I am 29 and was in a relationship with guy who is 21. He broke up with me the first time referring to the age gap, then we got back together to try it out again, and broke up recently, him citing the same reasons again - that he doesn't see a future. I am torn trying to understand what his real reasons were, and in the end I think he felt extremely insecure in the relationship and felt that he wasn't able to give me enough now, or even in several years time. As sad as I feel now, it may have been for the best, as it was unfair to me to be with somebody who wasn't able to commit fully.

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      larry 5 years ago

      Dude if she truly is your soulmate their is no other option

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      Emotionally Destroyed 5 years ago

      I am 28 and I have been in a relationship with a 58 year old woman for 7 amazing years. I have recently had a change of a work environment and I have met someone that I like that is the same age as myself. We have began to flirt and my partner found out. I haven't cheated but I feel absolutely disgusted in myself in doing what I have done. I love her so much and I would die for her but I have let her down. I pursued the other girl for a reason which really scares me. I wan't to be with my partner but I really don't know what to do, I can't lose her and she says that she go on seeing me in her life if I leave. I think my head says "see what happens with the new girl and have some sort of normal life" (if at all possible), or go with my heart and "stay with my soulmate, taking it one day at a time". I am so confused as to what to do, can someone please offer some advice.

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      Keyshla 5 years ago

      Okayy I Agree With the people that said being in an aged gap relationship is okay...i Have a long story. Well wen i met the guy that i LOVE now i was 14 years old and he was 27 years old. He had just gotten out of jail a year and a half ago and i never told my parents nothing about us being together we shared AMAZING times together . We been together for 10 months and 4 days now :) and on july 27,2011 his parole had came to his house and we were spending time together and i hid in the closet and his parole was doing a search and found me and took me home and my parents found out . My mom decided to press charges because we had made love and he ran from the cops now 3 days ago from today he was caught by his parole and i MISS HIM SO MUCH . I am 15 right now and he is 28 . To me age never matterd the only thing that matters is what you feel in your heart for that special someone

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      bacardiqueen 5 years ago

      i too am in a relationship with a 50 year old but he looks 40 and we have so much in common ! i dont care if people judge they only do it becouse they cant stand to see people happy i am 28 and i love him loads i have been with him for 2 years and really have a great laugh ! we so close and he my soul mate and everythink too me !!!! so dont give a stuff what others think age is a number happiness is the most imporant thing in life xxxxx stay strong and love and be happy with your older guy xxxxx

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      Judy 5 years ago

      Age ain't nothing but a number for these loved-up A-Listers. My BF and I both think so! He is almost 10 years older than I .We met via~~--agelessmeet .com~~ a nice place for younger women and older men, or older women and younger men, to interact with each other! Maybe you wanna check it out or tell your friends

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      emilia 5 years ago

      Hi im 21 n my partner is 42 weve bin together 6 1/2 year and i love him to pieces and always wil weather it works out or not wele always be soulmates x :-)

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      virgo 5 years ago

      I am 64 yo female, and I have a 39 yo male who has been after me for months to get into a relationship with him... I must admit.......I haven't gone there yet, but I am tempted!! I had read all these postings and wonder?? I just don't understand the attraction when you are young and can get anyone...why would you want someone older???? Someone help me understand!!???

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      Larry 5 years ago

      I am a 50 year old man and just met this 29 year old woman, we have a lot in common and are very attracted to eachother.She has 3 young kids 18 month is the youngest,my youngest is 17 years.I love kids and really love her company.My only concern is for her,im getting up there in age where i can have health problems and slow down.I dont want to be a burden on her.i would give my heart to her.im afraid of what it might do to her if and when something does happen to me.

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      The Younger Woman 5 years ago

      I'm 50, he's 66. Been together 30 years. Fell in love with his married friend when I was 23. He's 75 now. We still love each other but he doesn't get around well anymore. Hubby's a good guy too, but he's slowin down too. I take my anti-depressants and try to be thankful I'm so well loved so long. Do I have regrets? Yes. But life's complicated. Just try to be happy but not cause too much pain.

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      Alexi 5 years ago

      Im 50 - he was 20. At first it was magic and I fell in love - within a few weeks I was paranoid that he would find someone his own age. I ended it badly but not a day passes without me missing him. I will love him for the rest of my life but it had to end. If I had been wiser I would have taken it one day at a time and not looked for faults. I will regret my actions until I die.

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      Mary 5 years ago

      thank you guys so much for your advice i recently had a talk with him he says he loves me and i am willing to wait one more year if the divorce is not finalized by that time i will have to leave him even if i do truly love him, i also have to think of myself and the damage i'm doing to myself staying with him while still married. and i do understand the fact that we cannot erase our past but not let it affect those who love us. i do hope that the love he says to have for me is real because every time i'm with him i am infinitely happy, i just wish the divorce was over so i could finally move in with him. thank you guys again, for understanding and not only judging me.

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      Boikhutso Queen Molefe 5 years ago

      Istrongly agree with the fact that age gap is nothing this now-a -days, i am 26 years old turning 27 years old in September and i am dating a man at teh age of 42 years, the love he give to me is so wonderful, i never like dating younger or men at the same age of mine, because i have a big Structure, so most of teh time Older men become interested when they meet me, i fall for them. However i am scarred that my mother will kill me when she find out that i am dating a man who is almost her age.And we are even planning to have a child together,

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      Wisewoman 5 years ago

      I can't handle this, all my emotions about. All my day dreams about you are always popping into my head. I don't care if you're 40. I love you, I don't have this type of connection with anyone else. You're so breathe taking, in so many ways. I know society say's you can't be in love with someone 20 years older then you. But I want to tell society to fuck it's self. Cause I wanna be with you forever and always guess I just miss him too much right now. But I know I love him, he is the best man in my life.

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      lolita 5 years ago

      I'm a 20 year old female in love with a man 33 years older than I am. The relationship has only just begun, but I see a future with this guy--he's brilliant, vivacious, loving, and has boundless energy (far more than my last 20-something boyfriend!). I'm attracted to experience and intelligence and this man happens to have more of that than I thought I'd ever find.

      I recently told my father about him (my dad's three years younger than my boyfriend) and he says it's creepy, and that I have daddy issues (clearly not, if it was him I sought advice from?). I don't want to tell anyone else in my family because I have an estranged 18 year old cousin who had lived with a 30 year old man, which everyone thought was "disgusting and outrageously stupid".

      Anyone have advice on how to tell parents, or links to websites I could send them to help them understand? My dad would in a second if he'd meet the guy, but he refuses to. We're moving in together this summer so it would be nice to drop the bomb soon.

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      Dan 5 years ago

      Hello everyone...interesting collection of stories. I am not going to talk about what is right and what is wrong within the scope of this topic as I have nothing against age gap relationships. I came here to ask some advice actually...I am in love with a 19 year old female, more than I have ever been in love with anyone before in my life; I am 37. We are friends and I am pretty sure that the feeling is not mutual, she is very affectionate about our friend relationship but has thrown a couple hints here and there about the age gap thing. The question is, do I tell her my true feelings??? I love her so much, it hurts...I don't know what to do...

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      Suzie! 5 years ago

      Hi! =) I am 18 years interested in someone twice my age.So he has never been married no kids - but he is in a relationship -I'd say pretty steady.Everyone looks at me like am crazy but oops-sorry I am not small minded, I look at both sides of everything and the possibilities. My older brother is not impress he is just 2 years older than me. He says theres hints of the man 20 years my senior.... flirting with me! Yet I am so confused because I've never been in a relationship.I certainly enjoy his company,admire his success ,his motives and how he's so driven -bubbly & I do notice he is moody ...and when am around him I don't feel like am around a 38 year old.So yes maybe there are small hints of flirtation or just 'a sign' -but how would I know...its serious or just playful.How can I tell or know am a small girl to him.I am very careful cause am dealing with a grown man..not a teen or young 20 year old- This is absolutely no intimidating situation to me - just curious.Some advice would be good. Please and Thank You.

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      mel 5 years ago

      I am 31 and currently in love with a man who is 21 years my senior. We have been friends for three years and I am at the stage where I just want to be with him and to hell with what the rest of the world thinks.We have such an amazing connection...he has always genuinely wanted to date me but I had kept it as a friendship as I had hangups about the age difference...not anymore-my problem now is not wanting to destroy the friendship by getting involved with him...sigh

      I have never been happy with any of the men I have dated-I have never been with anyone with more than a 10 year age gap-and these men with the exception of my first love have made me miserable.

      My mother had me when she was young and as such has placed constant emotional burden on me.

      She has never been supportive of my having someone in my life and told me many times when I was younger "I don't want you to have anyone-ever!"

      She has realised that I have feelings for my friend and has once again thrown a spanner into the works. I'm tired of having my happiness dictated by other people.

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      summer_bob_1234 5 years ago

      I, for one, do not feel refreshed by many of these comments. The way you talk about people accepting these relationships is how black/white couples were "accepted" in the 1940's. Is this the 21st century or not?

      I know a few couples who are 30+ years apart and they are very happy together. They are not only widely age-gapped, but were 20s/50s when they first married. They love each other, are raising kids and get along just fine with each other and people around them. I don't know what all the fuss is over age gaps.

      When you look at the acceptance of gay couples, and how many states are even making constitutional provisions for gay marriage, how can the unacceptance of heterosexual age-gapped couples be anything but hypocritical? Who cares of two people are 10 years apart or 40, as long as they've found happiness with each other? We call ourselves a "progressive" society and champion all kinds of diversity, and even have diversity training in companies, yet people still have to hide from family and friends because an adult love partners is too far apart in age? I'm sorry, but it reeks to me!

      Age gap acceptance needs to come up to the 21st century like so many other things did a long time ago. This isn't the 1960's for black/white, gay or lesbian couples; it shouldn't be for age-gapped couples either, even if the gap is 30 years. I'm sorry!

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      Misty 5 years ago

      Eagle 21, well said. I have been seeing a man much younger. I'll be 41 in a couple months and he just turned 23. He wants a commitment and says he loves me. He is mature for his age and has 3 children already. His mother was much older than his father and he comes from a family of 8 children (yes, I said 8 lol). Idk what to do. I told him my walls are up because I was recently hurt and prior to that came out of a 21 year marriage. Don't know that I am really ready to fully commit. The age difference does bother me. I really feel like that in 5 - 10 years he will realize that it just won't work anymore and be interested in someone younger. I don't know how I'd feel about things then.....but I'm sure I would be hurt....again....and considerable older which would further limit relationship type men. I don't plan to be alone forever. Even though he assures me that he will 'stand until the walls come down' idk, they're starting to and it worries me. Love how eagle 21 put it and it makes me think but I'm still nervous.

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      eagle21 5 years ago

      Hi, Ta to orion and Les. My new boyfriend is 24 years younger than me. I am 43, he is 19. He pursued me for ages and I became very messed up about it. In the end I agreed and it is the best thing I ever did. There are thoughts of him leaving me for younger woman and told him my fear and he was really hurt, believing I didnt trust him. In many ways an age gap relationship is no different to any other. Fear , obsession and jealousy have no place in a loving respectful one, so why should I expect this just because I am older. There is always a chance they will leave for another, age gap or not and if we focus on this we become negative and dont live life for the present and enjoy it, it is marred with thoughts of a bad future. this is usually an indication of some insecurity within ourselves and we deny ourselves a chance of happiness. Maybe this helps you, anonymous. However the lack of respect he shows you bothers me, any lover should be kind and respect your feelings, maybe there are more probs here than you wish to acknowledge with this guy, regardless of age. My man , though young bends over backwards to make sure I am ok and I do the same for him without being smothering. Any relationship based on the right values, compromise and respect has a chance of success, regardless of age issues, if it doesnt have this it is doomed, in my opinion. There is so much energy wasted with worry, anxiety and we bring it on ourselves a lot of the time. Embrace life, live it to the full, and if you fall in love with someone thats all that matters, love conquers all in the end.

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      Anonymous 5 years ago

      I'm turning 33 and bf just turned 23, I think it's been hard on me since I'm a women older if it was the other way around I know it wouldn't bother me . I know eventually it will ruin relationship, I just can't help it and the thought of him living me for younger girl just kills me.. Other reason is his mother she won't exept me and he let's her disrespect me .. She won't say hi to me when we go around its like I don't exist . Sad thing he doesn't think it's wrong I think she does that because she doesn't exept me.. I need some advice I can't go on like this we argue a lot because of her .. Should I just ignore her and keep going around to please him or should I just break it off .. We have two beautiful kids..

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      anna 5 years ago

      I'm only 13 at the minute and have already found I'm attracted to older men. I've been out with guys my own age and up to 5 years older but they've all seemed really young to me even when they're older than me. In between these boyfriends I've developed many 'crushes' on much older me who are in their late 30s and 40s. However at the minute I've got more than just a crush on my 37 year old teacher and i honestly believe I'm in love with him. I'm not just a teenager with mixed up feelings I'm much more mature than all my other classmates and I really believe me and my teacher could be together someday. I think it is perfectly okay and somewhat more sensible for 10-27 year age gap relationships as we can learn from each other with more experience from older people.

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      toby2 5 years ago

      Mary,

      Your patience and loyalty are to be commended. However, I think before you devote any more of your time to this relationship you should consider this. It doesn't take 4 + years to finalize a divorse.(If you are really seeking one) I think if you are looking for any kind of a long term commitment, it's time you pin this man down and find out what his intentions are. Good luck!

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      Advice 5 years ago

      Mary: You have to accept that he had a life before you came into it. My advice to you is wait, you've waited this long, do you truly love him ? If yes accept his past and look into the brighter future you can have with him. If you don't love him, leave him. Everyone's past is brought with them through life, if love is a key element in your guys relationship. You should be able to accept his past and help him carry it.

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      mary 5 years ago

      I'm in a relationship with a 47 year old man. everything started great between us, but once my family found out about it they made a huge deal about it. anyway we've been seeing each other for 4 1/2 years now. he is separated and has 3 kids, lately we have had some trouble with our relationship we cant see each other as often as we used to and I've been thinking about moving in with him now but he is still married so i don't know what to do. i need help...i have this issue of either waiting until his divorce is finalized or just leave him, I'm kind of tired of waiting and have become insecure. i had always though he didn't see her anymore, only his kids until i saw some pictures of him with her and her kids on his daughters baby shower. i felt so much pain when i saw them i felt betrayed and now ever since that day things have gotten worse. please some one help i will accept any advice form anyone who can truly understand that love happens even if there's an age difference. Thanks

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      1995-1966 5 years ago

      I like a man who is 20 years older. Ive been denying it for about the last 4 months. But I can't deny him any longer. I hate boys my age, they are all about partying. I'm 19 I know I should want my youth. But I'll throw it all out the window. Just to wake up next to him everyday. We get along so well. Everytime he looks at me, I feel like he see's all the golden things about me. He doesn't know how I feel. We flirt alot, we have talks about life and everything. The more I spend time with him, the more I long to be with him. I know I'm crazy for this, but my parents are ten years apart. Ive mentioned that I like older men. And my parents don't mind. Should I go for it or not?

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      Emma4627 5 years ago

      My boyfriend & I recently got engaged after 7 years of being together. He is 19 years older than me - I am 28.

      My family were concerned, rightly so, when we first got together 7 years ago due to the age differene - but over the 7 years he seems to have been 'accepted' & my family seemed to get along with him well. Or so i thought. Since announcing our engagement 2 months ago, my family - mainly my mother - does not speak to me. She has said she is completely gutted & distraguht about the news. This is very upsetting to hear. I didn't expect her to be over the moon, but I did expect some sort of congratulations. My brothers have also followed this attitude. My father, on the other hand, and our friends are made up for us.

      Does anyone have any advice as to how to deal with this? I miss my family but I am not prepared to hear their negative reasons as to why I should not do this.

      It has made me unhappy, and somewhat put a downer on our good news.

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      Judy 5 years ago

      Age ain't nothing but a number for these loved-up A-Listers. My BF and I both think so! He is almost 10 years older than I .We met via~~--agelessmeet .com~~ a nice place for younger women and older men, or older women and younger men, to interact with each other! Maybe you wanna check it out or tell your friends

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      jac 5 years ago

      You only live once and it's so hard when you're hurting the ones you love and have to sacrifice your own happiness. You only find that love once, and you don't want to take that love for granted.

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      Les 5 years ago

      Its Les from 19 months ago. My relationship (Im 43 and BF is 21) has been on & off a lot but not because we don't care about 1 another we really do but because my daughter (also 21) wont accept it. Ive never done anything to intentionally hurt my daughter but I love this man and he loves me and despite everything there is something very real there. He ticks all my boxes in a way no one else ever has and its so hard to keep giving up a relationship that we both want.

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      Anayansi 5 years ago

      My husband is 21 years younger than me. We not only have an Age Gap Relationship but also we are an inter-racial and inter-cultural couple. He is American and lives with me in my country in Latin America. We have been warmly accepted by both families and groups of friends. I think that people are becoming more and more open minded, and that is good.

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      lonelystar20 5 years ago

      im so confused and afraid of what people might think..i crushing on my co_worker/my boss' son who is pretty much my boss and he likes me too.im 19 soon to be 20 next month and hes 40.hes such a nice guy and he gets me and i get him he actually talks to me about his problems something he doesn't like doing he actually opened up to me..what should i do should i go for it regardless of what people think?help!!!!!!

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      Arabella 5 years ago

      I am 18, in love with a 45 year old man. We met while I was in high school and got close while I was going through some troubles. We never intended to get so close, but our connection was so strong, it couldn't be ignored. wWe tried multiple times to end our "relationship", but it never worked. I went away for college and we thought that would be the end of it and we could just be friends, but when I went home during breaks and we saw each other, the feelings came rushing back. He's been trying to back off because we know it would never. He recently broke it off, saying that it has to end because he doesn't want to hurt me anymore and it won't work out. He basically wants to break off all contact because we've tried being just friends in the past and it hasn't worked. He knows if we saw each other, the feelings would resurface. I agreed to make it easy and go along with it, thinking that my feelings for him would fade over time, but they haven't. I don't know what to do. After reading all these stories, I want to try to make it work, but I don't know whether I should contact him and try to talk to him about letting us happen instead of trying to suppress the feelings that are obviously there, or if I should just let it go and try to move on, because I honestly don't think I'll ever get over him. Should I contact him or should I just let it go?

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      Tana 5 years ago

      Im 13 and he's 28. We pulled eachother out of the rumble, he cleaned my cuts and sores, im slowly brushing the dust of him. And he tells me nightly if i was older, i'd be his. And i wanna be his! but im only 13, i know what love is. I know the dangers and everything but, he is my type totally! I need help...please...? :(