Aggressive wife? Reasons why you should not be dominating!
I watched with fascination a talk show where the topic was about the relationship between husband and wife. There was one particular woman who was aggressively pointing out the mistakes of her husband while her poor husband watched little tongue tied. Her complaints were so innocuous but her face contorted in aggression as she went on and on in accusing her husband.
‘How does her husband tolerate her?’ my mother asked after watching the show. ‘A wife should be feminine so that her husband is attracted to her and aggression completely turns him off. The modern girls never know the beauty of being womanly and want to show off their assertiveness by locking horns with their husband. This is the reason why most marriages have lost their sheen’ she lamented in length.
I think she had a point there. The changes in the attitude of women are amazing and the way they clamor for rights in marriage is startling. It is true that you cannot be bogged down by old traditions as you have to face a competitive world. You also contribute to the well being of your family by going for work and you do deserve certain rights which were denied to your yester sisters.
Your husband should share your household work as you too have to hurry for work. You should be given equal rights in family and financial matters and you should be respected. There is nothing wrong in your expectations, but you seem to ignore certain factors which your husband dislikes in you.
Why is it that some qualities so unique to woman been shown the door by the modern women?
Signs of aggression
- Commanding tone
- Wants everything done your way
- Will not listen
- Always nagging
- Thinking you know better than your husband
- You create scenes
The reaction of your husband to your aggressiveness
- Hates you inwardly
- Wants to stay away from you
- Feels you are totally unfeminine
- Fears your aggression
You earn for your betterment and not to create a scene in seeking aggressive equality with your husband. Married life becomes hell when you think you have a crown in your head just because you are financially independent. When you are aggressive you question every action of your husband and he feels it demeaning. When there is a tilt of aggression in your behavior it makes your husband wary of you and he deviates mentally from you to withdraw into his shell of loneliness.
Have you seen a family where the wife is very soft natured and feminine? She attracts her husband and her care and attention towards him makes him completely dependent on her. You might argue that if you are soft natured your husband will dominate you and deny you your rights. A grave mistake! Being soft natured does not mean meekness or submissiveness. It means you have not forgone your inborn feminine qualities as you know it is the key to open your husband’s heart.
You lose your feminine beauty when you behave like a male; loud and dominating. You think that you can have your husband in your total control if you are demanding and domineering. You are elated that you have tamed him into submissive listening and when he meekly gives in to your commands you feel you have shown your power. Why do you want to control your husband by dominating him? Do you know that you lose his love when you do so? You can make him listen to you when you shower him with love and care.
Do you know what attracts your husband towards you?
It is your softness and gentleness. He listens when you talk to him reasonably. He is attracted to you when you are utterly feminine. He is totally yours when you care for him. You are his queen when you make him feel like the king of the family. He likes traditional respect which the modern husband never gets. It does not demean you in any way when you are able to give him these tiny pleasures which in turn make you influence his life in a telling way.
Do you know your aggressiveness stems from your insecure feelings about your husband? You are not sure whether he loves you and your frustration turns you into an aggressive and arguing wife. You cannot have emotional intimacy with him as you draw away from him by your unwarranted behavior. You appearance lacks feminine beauty when you scream and yell. Do you want incredibly happiness in your married life? Show certain feminine qualities to make your husband feel attracted towards you like a magnet.
© 2013 mathira