- Gender and Relationships
Always a Bridesmaid Never a Bride
I don't consider myself to be an expert in anything, but one thing that I have mastered is the art of being single. Living life as a single can either be a blessing or a curse. It's all a matter of perspective. Dating and not being tied down can be quite the adventure, if I may say so myself, but there is one season that the world seems to shun the single woman, and at times even men. Singles, you know exactly what season I'm referring to...wedding season.
As the spring and summer seasons approach, weddings will yet again be in full swing. Undoubtedly, single women everywhere will be asked to be a bridesmaids, again. There goes that awful nagging thought, "always a bridesmaid, never a bride." Come to think of it, being a bridesmaid isn't a daunting task for those of you who are already married, engaged, or even remotely involved. But, as it were, I am single, and not just any type of single. We're talking, eating ice cream, while watching He's Just Not That Into You, with my mother, on a Friday night single. I imagine that every woman has experienced this at some point in her life. Believe it or not, even as a single woman, I thoroughly enjoy attending weddings. What I don't fancy is listening to the other married people in attendance, ask me and every other single, "So, why haven't you gotten married yet?" Honestly, if I knew the answer to that question I'd have a different last name and a plus one in attendance.
Nevertheless, as sisters and friends we are always ecstatic when someone we love finds the one, but is it too wrong to wonder if the one is somewhere out there waiting for you as well? Let's face it, every woman dreams of the day that she'll wed her knight in shining armor. In fact, weddings and engagements are mere reminders of the fact that "the one" has yet to surface and being single is a present reality. These feelings of discontentment are not isolated occurrences, but rather widespread emotions that we share as humans. One of the most difficult things to do is celebrate someone's blessings when you whole heartedly want it so bad for yourself. It doesn't matter if you're watching someone else get the marriage, car, house, or career that you long for and desire. It is all the same. It's envy, and if we're honest, we have all been there at least once. Think of it this way, how many times have you gone out to eat with someone and ordered dinner at the same time, but received your meal just moments after they receive theirs? As they begin to eat their meal, you impatiently salivate because after all, you're just as hungry as they are.
While marriage isn't a meal to be served, it is similar in the fact that each order takes a different amount of time for preparation. You wouldn't walk away from the dinner table as the waiter heads to the kitchen for you food, because you know that your meal will eventually make it to the table, and so it is the same with love and marriage. Some people are fortunate enough to marry their high school sweet hearts while some find love in retirement homes. The important thing to remember is, whether you find "the one" at twenty-one or fifty-one, it all feels the same to your heart.
Be A Supportive Bridesmaid
So, my single sisters and friends, until that day comes, it's best to dismiss any feelings of envy and put our best foot forward, to be the best bridesmaids we can be. After all, it's impossible to fully support and celebrate the bride-to-be when you're harboring feelings of bitterness or envy in your heart. If that seems far fetched, we should place ourselves in her shoes. On your wedding day, do you want to be surrounded by people who will genuinely celebrate your love and happiness despite their circumstances or do you want to be surrounded by envious women, who are willing to smile in your face though they secretly hope your marriage fails? Those things being said, we all want the people we love to encourage, love, and support us in our journey to find happiness and a bride only gets one wedding day to remember, so let's make it a special memory for her by being a great bridesmaid and support system.