- Gender and Relationships»
- Singles Life
Chapter 2: All The Good Ones Are Taken - Really?
I have temporarily truncated this article because I have enrolled the ebook versions of Wage Peace Between the Sexes in KDP Select, and therefore cannot have it in another format,
Put on the Hot Seat:
Which of these statements are true, and which are false?
1) It is possible to have a great time on a date without involving sex, alcohol, or drugs.
2) It is best to wait until a relationship has existed several months, or even a year, before having sex.
3) Sex, alcohol, and drugs, rather than enhance a date or relationship, can actually ruin both.
4) Meeting great guys and girls is actually not as hard as the media would have you believe. Multiple venues exist.
5) You cannot truly fall in love at first sight; you must know the other person in order to truly love him or her.
Answers: All are true.
Since you’re still in school, you have an advantage for potential
good relationships; simply take part in as many social activities as possible, making a point of reaching out to others in the process. Even then though, much prevents an educational institution from being an ideal place; high school students are often too immature to handle even themselves, let alone a partner, and those in college are busy training for a career.
For adults no longer in academia, meeting someone for a relationship can be a real problem. They have more freedom to seek a mate; however, optimal meeting places are difficult to find. Bars and nightclubs often lead to shallow relationships at best, and alcoholics, even axe murderers, at worst. Hence the age-old question: where do you meet great guys / girls? Listed below are some ideas. You can use these venues even while you’re in school; this is a good idea if your campus has few social activities, or a small student body.
Wage Peace Between the Sexes (Sugar Version), available in paperback.
This book is also available in ebook format.
Where to Meet Great Girls
Yoga / Ballet / Zumba exercise
These tend to be overwhelmingly female; however, there’s no need for a guy to feel out of place here, since showing his sensitive side will attract girls big time. It is best to socialize after class. You can strike up a casual conversation, and ask her – or several others – out for sodas and shakes.
Girls love to dance, and often there’s a gender imbalance, making it a great place for guys to meet them. Square, ballroom and swing are a sure bet. If you’re a great dancer, you’ll have girls fighting over you.
Though 75% of Hollywood roles go to men, most aspiring actors are female. You will have no shortage here!
Where to Meet Great Guys
Check out groups and teams in your area. Ski and snowboard clubs tend to be mostly male; so do surfing groups. Also, some cities have teams that play basketball, football, and baseball. If you don’t want to actually participate in the sport, offer to work at organizing events, and cook for them.
Auto shop schools
You can take a course yourself, get a clerical job there, or simply hang out and provide great food for the students.
This science field also has a high ratio of guys, and it is fascinating besides. You can both enjoy a date studying the night sky sometime.
Rock climbing / batting cage / indoor skiing-snowboarding center.
Since guys are very much into these sports, you’ll meet plenty of them here.
The skateboarding world is dominated by guys.
Where to Meet Both
Coffee shops / bookstores
Educated people are drawn to such places. You can enjoy a chai latte while discussing what the other is reading, the latest news and trends, etc.
This is best if you’re already a college student. It can be tricky striking up a conversation, since you’re with a stranger knowing nothing about him or her; joining a campus club or taking a class can make the process easier.
Guys go for hockey, while girls prefer figure skating. It’s a great opportunity for them to get together after class.
Wage Peace Between the Sexes (Spice Version), available in paperback. This version includes an additional chapter on sex.
This book is also available in ebook format.
Nowadays, a lot of people make the mistake of having sex too soon in the relationship. Some even do it on the first date! The pitfalls to this are many; since you don’t know the person very well, you have no idea if they will abuse your vulnerabilities, have sexually transmitted diseases, or particularly nasty faults like violence. A girl could deceive a guy about being on birth control and get pregnant in an effort to trap him. These are only a few examples of what could go wrong, but the bottom line is, after having sex, you may discover certain things about that person which, if you’d known earlier, you wouldn’t have given him or her the time of day!
Sex is best enjoyed with someone you know and can fully trust. Here are ten ideas for dates that don’t involve sex. This list is by no means exhaustive.
Go out for sodas, or shakes
This is ideal for people who are getting together for the first time. Be sure to bring a mental list of topics to discuss. If you run short on ideas, coffee shops usually have books and newspapers the two of you can browse.
Go to a movie
The two of you can discuss it afterwards.
Go to a school dance
If you took lessons, you can use the moves you learned there to wow the kids.
Take a simple walk in the park
In some ways, this could be the best date of all. With nothing distracting you, you can truly get to know one another.
Note I didn’t include alcohol and drugs in any of these ideas. The drinking age nationwide is 21, and drugs are illegal, for good reason; using them can lead to poor judgment, bringing about negative situations such as date rape, DUI convictions, and health problems that can impact one for life. Though jokes about drunkenness and debauchery abound, nothing ruins the potential of a good relationship like behaving that way on a date.
Enjoying an active, vibrant social life which eventually leads to meeting the Right One is not terribly difficult. All it takes is knowledge, and the wisdom to apply it.
Cause a Commotion
1. Is the social scene dead at your school? If so, what can YOU do to turn things around? Get together with some teachers and fellow students, to brainstorm ideas. A few tips; if your school is small, you can join up with other schools to enlarge your social pool. You can poll other students, and start interest clubs that way. Also, search the web for simple line dances, done both as singles and as couples; next time the school hosts a dance, have someone teach them to everyone there.
2. If the social scene is good at your school, join 3 clubs and remain active in them.
3. Make a long list of members of the opposite sex that go to your school. Make a point of talking to each one, and find out 3 facts about each of them. Continually reach out to others, whether or not they make potential dates. This may be painful to some, but good social skills are VITAL in being successful in life. Keep practicing; in time, it gets easier.
4. Describe, in detail, your version of the ideal date that doesn’t involve sex, drugs or alcohol. Compare your response with others.
To read Chapter 3, Responsibility and Prevention Part I: Avoiding Pitfalls, please visit this link:
© 2015 Ana Kolomeka