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Chapter 2: All The Good Ones Are Taken - Really?

Updated on November 25, 2016

I have temporarily truncated this article because I have enrolled the ebook versions of Wage Peace Between the Sexes in KDP Select, and therefore cannot have it in another format,

In order to meet a handsome prince, you have to kiss a lot of frogs!
In order to meet a handsome prince, you have to kiss a lot of frogs! | Source

Put on the Hot Seat:

Which of these statements are true, and which are false?

1) It is possible to have a great time on a date without involving sex, alcohol, or drugs.

2) It is best to wait until a relationship has existed several months, or even a year, before having sex.

3) Sex, alcohol, and drugs, rather than enhance a date or relationship, can actually ruin both.

4) Meeting great guys and girls is actually not as hard as the media would have you believe. Multiple venues exist.

5) You cannot truly fall in love at first sight; you must know the other person in order to truly love him or her.


Answers: All are true.

Since you’re still in school, you have an advantage for potential

good relationships; simply take part in as many social activities as possible, making a point of reaching out to others in the process. Even then though, much prevents an educational institution from being an ideal place; high school students are often too immature to handle even themselves, let alone a partner, and those in college are busy training for a career.

For adults no longer in academia, meeting someone for a relationship can be a real problem. They have more freedom to seek a mate; however, optimal meeting places are difficult to find. Bars and nightclubs often lead to shallow relationships at best, and alcoholics, even axe murderers, at worst. Hence the age-old question: where do you meet great guys / girls? Listed below are some ideas. You can use these venues even while you’re in school; this is a good idea if your campus has few social activities, or a small student body.

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Where to Meet Great Girls

Yoga / Ballet / Zumba exercise

These tend to be overwhelmingly female; however, there’s no need for a guy to feel out of place here, since showing his sensitive side will attract girls big time. It is best to socialize after class. You can strike up a casual conversation, and ask her – or several others – out for sodas and shakes.

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Dance classes

Girls love to dance, and often there’s a gender imbalance, making it a great place for guys to meet them. Square, ballroom and swing are a sure bet. If you’re a great dancer, you’ll have girls fighting over you.

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Acting

Though 75% of Hollywood roles go to men, most aspiring actors are female. You will have no shortage here!

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Where to Meet Great Guys

Sports clubs

Check out groups and teams in your area. Ski and snowboard clubs tend to be mostly male; so do surfing groups. Also, some cities have teams that play basketball, football, and baseball. If you don’t want to actually participate in the sport, offer to work at organizing events, and cook for them.

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Auto shop schools

You can take a course yourself, get a clerical job there, or simply hang out and provide great food for the students.

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Astronomy

This science field also has a high ratio of guys, and it is fascinating besides. You can both enjoy a date studying the night sky sometime.

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Rock climbing / batting cage / indoor skiing-snowboarding center.

Since guys are very much into these sports, you’ll meet plenty of them here.

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Skate parks

The skateboarding world is dominated by guys.

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Where to Meet Both

Coffee shops / bookstores

Educated people are drawn to such places. You can enjoy a chai latte while discussing what the other is reading, the latest news and trends, etc.

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College cafeterias

This is best if you’re already a college student. It can be tricky striking up a conversation, since you’re with a stranger knowing nothing about him or her; joining a campus club or taking a class can make the process easier.

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Skating rinks

Guys go for hockey, while girls prefer figure skating. It’s a great opportunity for them to get together after class.

Wage Peace Between The Sexes (Spice Version): A Guide to Healthy and Wholesome Sensual Relationships for Youth
Wage Peace Between The Sexes (Spice Version): A Guide to Healthy and Wholesome Sensual Relationships for Youth

Wage Peace Between the Sexes (Spice Version), available in paperback. This version includes an additional chapter on sex.

 
Rapunzel enjoys a secret rendezvous with the prince.
Rapunzel enjoys a secret rendezvous with the prince. | Source

Dating Ideas

Nowadays, a lot of people make the mistake of having sex too soon in the relationship. Some even do it on the first date! The pitfalls to this are many; since you don’t know the person very well, you have no idea if they will abuse your vulnerabilities, have sexually transmitted diseases, or particularly nasty faults like violence. A girl could deceive a guy about being on birth control and get pregnant in an effort to trap him. These are only a few examples of what could go wrong, but the bottom line is, after having sex, you may discover certain things about that person which, if you’d known earlier, you wouldn’t have given him or her the time of day!

Sex is best enjoyed with someone you know and can fully trust. Here are ten ideas for dates that don’t involve sex. This list is by no means exhaustive.

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Go out for sodas, or shakes

This is ideal for people who are getting together for the first time. Be sure to bring a mental list of topics to discuss. If you run short on ideas, coffee shops usually have books and newspapers the two of you can browse.

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Go to a movie

The two of you can discuss it afterwards.

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Go to a school dance

If you took lessons, you can use the moves you learned there to wow the kids.

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Take a simple walk in the park

In some ways, this could be the best date of all. With nothing distracting you, you can truly get to know one another.

Note I didn’t include alcohol and drugs in any of these ideas. The drinking age nationwide is 21, and drugs are illegal, for good reason; using them can lead to poor judgment, bringing about negative situations such as date rape, DUI convictions, and health problems that can impact one for life. Though jokes about drunkenness and debauchery abound, nothing ruins the potential of a good relationship like behaving that way on a date.

Enjoying an active, vibrant social life which eventually leads to meeting the Right One is not terribly difficult. All it takes is knowledge, and the wisdom to apply it.

Cause a Commotion

1. Is the social scene dead at your school? If so, what can YOU do to turn things around? Get together with some teachers and fellow students, to brainstorm ideas. A few tips; if your school is small, you can join up with other schools to enlarge your social pool. You can poll other students, and start interest clubs that way. Also, search the web for simple line dances, done both as singles and as couples; next time the school hosts a dance, have someone teach them to everyone there.

2. If the social scene is good at your school, join 3 clubs and remain active in them.

3. Make a long list of members of the opposite sex that go to your school. Make a point of talking to each one, and find out 3 facts about each of them. Continually reach out to others, whether or not they make potential dates. This may be painful to some, but good social skills are VITAL in being successful in life. Keep practicing; in time, it gets easier.

4. Describe, in detail, your version of the ideal date that doesn’t involve sex, drugs or alcohol. Compare your response with others.

To read Chapter 3, Responsibility and Prevention Part I: Avoiding Pitfalls, please visit this link:

http://sayyestolife.hubpages.com/hub/Wage-Peace-Between-the-Sexes

© 2015 Ana Kolomeka

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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 2 years ago

      Voted up and useful!

      This planet has over 7 Billion people on it!

      Odds are in everyone's favor that there more than enough "good ones" to go around. Most people don't want to put in any effort or they have "unrealistic expectations".

      Any woman in her late teens or early 20s who is looking for a guy in that age group who wants to get married, sign a 30 year mortgage, and have children is setting herself up for one heartbreak after another.

      No 20 something year old guy is in a hurry to become his "parents".

      Most guys haven't been dreaming about their wedding day since childhood.

      Dating is supposed to be a FUN social activity. However so many people stress out over it as they are determined to make it into a job of finding their "soul-mate". Trust me if two people don't have a good time on the first date there will not be a second date. Every "serious relationship" I've ever been in started off "casually" and (evolved) into something serious. Relax and enjoy the activity of the date; movie, dinner, play, concert, beach, or whatever.

      No one is asking you to decide on whether to cut the red wire or the blue wire! Enjoy life!

    • Ana Kolomeka profile image
      Author

      Ana Kolomeka 2 years ago from Big Island of Hawaii

      Excellent points, DashingScorpio! So many young women don't realize that marriage and family are HUGE responsibilities. As it is, 2/3 of divorces are filed by women. They're in a rush to get in, then find all sorts of faults once they get there - most of the time, it's faults they could have known about if they'd only paid attention.

      In this modern day and age, propagating the species is no longer a priority. We can now enter relationships for the fun of it. Couples can choose whether or not to make it permanent, and no longer have to endure all sorts of miseries to do so.

    • Reynold Jay profile image

      Reynold Jay 18 months ago from Saginaw, Michigan

      I had to read another chapter--Anna, married 50 years to a wonderful woman. Good luck with sales.

    • Ana Kolomeka profile image
      Author

      Ana Kolomeka 18 months ago from Big Island of Hawaii

      Thank you. Be sure to take advantage of the free ebooks offer, available from 10/21 through 10/25. Enjoy!

    • Reynold Jay profile image

      Reynold Jay 18 months ago from Saginaw, Michigan

      Re reading this makes me feel great that I am long past worrying about meeting a special gal. Looks like all your suggestions and thoughts would be helpful just a tiny bit to anyone scouting around. A lot of this makes me chuckle. Well done and looking forward to your next HUB, Ana.

    • Ana Kolomeka profile image
      Author

      Ana Kolomeka 17 months ago from Big Island of Hawaii

      Thanks for the props, Reynold Jay. I'm glad you found the love of your life, and stayed with her for a full half century!

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