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Allowing Yourself to Understand Love

Updated on March 22, 2011


Love many things. There are so many levels to love that it is almost impossible for any one person to comprehend entirely what it is, so I will let you in on how I experience love. In order to understand love you must understand that there are many meanings of the word; you must understand the way that the emotions of love show for every individual. Love will rarely be the same for two people, but the love two people hold for each other will be a connected kind of love. The kind of love that when together it becomes stronger and more infinite then one person alone could fathom. The kind of love that all people in the world strive for.

"Dante meets Beatrice at Ponte Santa Trinita", by Henry Holiday (1839 - 1927), 1883,
"Dante meets Beatrice at Ponte Santa Trinita", by Henry Holiday (1839 - 1927), 1883,

Many Forms Of Love


Love that is unrequited is love that is not returned no matter how much you would like it to be. It is one of the most painful versions of love and can lead to depression and obsession and a broken heart. No one wants to be a victim of unrequited love. It is painful and one-sided. To fall victim to an unrequited love is to doom yourself to unhappiness unless you can find your way passed.


Love that is obsessive stems from unrequited love. It is a love that is so extreme it can lead to the obsess-or causing harm to the individual they are obsessing over, or even cause death.


  Love that is unconditional is a love that is one of the purest. The paradigm of unconditional love is the love of a mother for her child. Loving someone no matter what. Considering all their faults and knowing that you still love them irrevocably. Martin Luther King Jr. was quoted as saying “I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality”.


   Conditional Love is a love that is marred by wants and needs of others. Needing to be a certain way or want of something being done a certain way or they will not love you. Usually this can fall under a category of abuse, especially if the person being put under the conditions and restrictions has unrequited love for the other person. They are used and taken advantage of and it can be a sad and sorry state for love.

Knowing When It Is Love

Now that you know some of the WAYS you can love, lets look at something else. How do you know when it is love?

Understanding what love is means you are armed with a basic general knowledge. Understanding what love FEELS like is something completely different. You can go your entire life not ever feeling true love if you spend your life completely isolated. So how do you know when it is true love versus infatuation? Try to write a list, if you list comes back with mostly physical attributes then it is more then likely infatuation. If you write an entire list of how they make you feel then you are on your way to understanding what love really can mean to you.

Feelings of Love

The feelings that love provides can make you feel invincible. You feel infinitely happy and you want to get out an experience the world and everything seems so much more then it has been. People have even said food has tasted better, songs sound sweeter, touches feel more intense, nothing in the world can bring you down at that very moment. Feeling happiness in its true form is what love really feels like.

All You Need Is Love

Finding that all inclusive, unconditional, beautiful love that everyone wants is the most rewarding feeling ever. It's like you have arrived and no matter what you will never want for anything ever again. All relationships have their ups and downs, that is the art and struggle of living with another person for the rest of your life, but love carries you through the tough times when you think you can't carry yourself any longer. Having that safety net under your relationship really puts you in perspective of what is important. The little things, when they rear their ugly heads, won't seem so bad when love is involved. The little things are easily brushed aside and you are reminded why you love that person in the first place. Love may not pay the bills, but love will get you through the times you can't. Without the push of a loved one, sometimes the difficult times are almost unbearable. 

"Do you ever put your arms out and spin and spin and spin? Well thats what love is like. Makes you heart race, turns your world upside-down. But if your not careful, if you dont keep your eyes on something still, you can lose your balance. You cant see whats happening to the people around you...You cant see that your about to fall..." ~Practical Magic

Moving Mountains

 Love can do exactly that, in a metaphoric kind of way at least. You should always strive for love, even if it is in it's simplest form. The spectrum of love is vast and you should always try to love. Whether it be a neighbor, a stranger, a family member, a friend, or your partner for life. Loving is a wonderful feeling and something everyone should feel at least once. When true love hits you, you will know. Your stomach will have constant butterflies when you think, speak, talk to or see the person you love. You will smile uncontrollably, or giggle like a fool. You will feel like your life is more complete and you would feel completely lost without that special someone in your life. You will be able to move mountains.

Love among the ruins by Edward Burne-Jones
Love among the ruins by Edward Burne-Jones


The thought of love is a wonderful thing, but never forget who you are in the process. Being independent is an integral part of life and love should not carry the weight of life alone. Do not forget to allow yourself room to breathe. Be yourself and live your life and love the people around you and never forget that you are human. Love will bow to no one, for love is too great a feeling to be completely contained by another.


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    • SognoPiccolo profile image

      SognoPiccolo 7 years ago from Wilmington, Ohio

      yeah... I totally made that up... I know, I rawk. lol

    • Sunny Robinson profile image

      Sunny Robinson 7 years ago from Tennessee

      The way you defined love inspired me to write my "Is Love Sacred in Polyamory?" hub.

      "Love will bow to no one, for love is too great a feeling to be completely contained by another." I really love this quote. Love, love, love it.

    • Dave Mathews profile image

      Dave Mathews 7 years ago from NORTH YORK,ONTARIO,CANADA

      Amore can be discovered often when we are not even looking for it. True Love,unconditional love, like the love of a mother for a child or the love God gives to all of His creations, is free for all who desire it with no strings attached.

      Brother Dave.