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Always Come 2nd to None

Updated on May 17, 2012

Although I am 27, I have been through a lot when it comes to relationships. I am thankful that I can say that God has helped me keep a positive view despite it all. I came to be truthful and encouraging at the sometime to both men and women. I know some are probably wondering about the title "Always Come 2nd to None", why that title?

Well I think when it comes to relationships, we tend to settle or accept to much. I think the bigger part of it comes form "dating", a word that I am not to fond of it. The problem with dating in my opinion is that it is too casual because usually dating means that your are not the only person someone is dating. When I say come second to none, I mean that we should get to the point where we know our worth. There are too many people that are accepting of being 2nd, know that the man or woman they are dating is dating someone or possibly even MARRIED to someone else.

I pondered the question, why would we allow ourselves to be second? Because if someone was really interested in getting to know you, then they would do just that, they would get to know YOU, not you and three other people. How can someone that is dating more than one person, truly get to know you? They can't because the are just playing the field, there is too many emotions involved. Now sometimes we do not know that the person that we are "dating", is seeing someone else, but I do believe that sometimes God does give us discernment and somethings we feel it and know something is going on.

I prefer the word "courting", courting starts with a friendship(this is the time that you all get to know each other). When you start with a friendship you can decide from there if you want to take it further, do you actually want to be in a relationship with this person? These days many people do not develop friendships before they start "dating". Some people feel like I could never date my friend when really you should be friends anyway. A real friend is not going anywhere even if you all decided not to be in a relationship.

A friendship is the foundation for any relationship or marriage, it is what you can fall back on when things start to get hard, it reminds you of why you start liking each other, how you fell in one with each other, and what reasons there are to make it work(if any). I just want my brothers and sisters and Christ not to settle, I have settled a time or two in stemmed from not knowing my worth or rushing to be into a relationship. I have to learn that everything is on God's time and He knows whats best for me. I have to learn that I cannot just listen to a person's words but I have to watch their actions as well.

Trust me, If someone really wants to get to know you, there ACTIONS will show it. Do not be comfortable with be second, third, forth, or fifth, it is not worth and YOU are worth more. God Bless you all.


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    • MsLofton profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from IL

      lol I understand! Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment The-Quietwarrior. I am glad that you enjoyed it.

    • The-Quietwarrior profile image


      6 years ago

      I agree. I think God gives us discernment about things that may hurt us emotionally, mentally, and physically. The problem is that sometimes even though a child knows the stove in his/her house is hot, they will still explore the stove at Grandma's or the neighbors house. The thing I've had to do is realize that everyone isn't the same, or even like the last person you met. The difference between men and woman is how we handle touching the stove again when we know it might be hot. In either case we can't help ourselves and we just gonna do it anyway. The difference might be after a while, we learn to keep the hot mittens on for a little while longer.

      Didn't mean to do all that MsLofton. I read your article and the intent was to just wanted to say how really good it was..LOL..

    • MsLofton profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from IL

      Thanks so much ChristyWrites

    • ChristyWrites profile image

      Christy Birmingham 

      6 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      You have such great insights into relationships and I like that you share your beliefs with us. I vote up and useful.

    • MsLofton profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from IL

      Thanks so much the girls!

    • the girls profile image

      Theresa Ventu 

      6 years ago from Los Angeles, California

      Very well said! Friendship, trust and respect needs to be present in a good and worthy relationship. Stay beautiful and inspiring MsLofton :-)

    • MsLofton profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from IL

      Writer20, I definitely agree we as women do go through a lot before we come to terms with a situation. I am a firm believer in learning from my others so I always tell people that they do not have to go through what I did, Learn from me and Ill learn from them. Many times we are so carefree we think it is okay especially being teens and young adults.

    • writer20 profile image

      Joyce Haragsim 

      6 years ago from Southern Nevada

      I think most women go though hell and back before they 'the right man' I know I did.

      Voted up and interesting


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