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An Angry Man Is Capable of Anything; Controlling Anger
My uncle is still remorseful over what he did in a fit of anger. It was the mid of July 2000, he had been married for over a year, he came home to find that my aunt (his wife) was not at home and had gone to visit her mother. He had been complaining of her frequent visits which gave him less time with his wife and child. This provoked wave of rage, he raced to her place and in a nasty exchange of words, gave her a divorce. He has been ashamed and disappointed with himself ever since. This is just one of the instances of misery which unbridled anger can inflict.
Anger is something which is experienced by everyone; some feel it more intensely than others. It is natural to feel angry at unreasonable and unjustified circumstances however it is an emotion which takes over the man’s sensible thinking and approach. If we let it take over then we lose ourselves, we become someone else altogether. The least of acts in anger is an outburst of words, which can be hurtful to others; words can cut deeper than sword after all.
Understand what it can do
What can make us better handle anger than understanding that it has the potential for ruining your happy, peaceful life. Remind yourself that anger can make you do things which you really don’t want to commit. It can make you lose or hurt an irreplaceable loved one; can make you damage or injure your own self.
Cherish the people and properties in your life
It is usual to dislike certain habits of people but if you really are thankful for the presence of that person in your life, these things become trivial. What bears the most importance is that the particular person is really a part of your life. Try to reason with yourself that without these people in your life, you will lack all that they have given you emotionally and financially. If that person is not really important, then experiencing something so intense with regard to that individual is a worthless exercise. Why waste yourself on people who don’t mean much to you
Devise means to control it
Develop ways of overcoming anger. I had heard of laughter therapy some years ago. It had sounded bizarre to me at that time, but if you are trying to handle the manic that is unleashed when you lose your temper, something is better than nothing.
- Drink water
Drink a glass of cold water to calm yourself down. Concentrate on the cool liquid splashing down your alimentary canal.
- Sit down
If you are standing then sit down, if you are sitting then find somewhere to lay down. This can serve as a deterrent. In anger you may want to lunge at the person or tear at things, this is a small initiative towards doing the opposite of what you want at the time.
- Pillow punching; take it out
Instead of trying to reason in a state where your mental faculties are clouded, it is infinitely better to confine oneself in one’s room and indulge in an exercise of pillow punching. Pillow is replaceable by anything which can take the blows of your anger without protesting, excluding anything which can cause a major blow to the family fortune or a living creature. Be a bigger better person and refrain from asserting yourself in a vengeful manner. Try as many non violent means of handling the situation, anything within your power to rectify the situation and to mend the broken heart. It is a possibility that whatever happened was beyond the control of the other person, (if that is the case consider seeking medical help) or even if it was not, he may feel repentant. An eye for an eye is a concept acceptable if both the parties on the same page and agree that this is justified, otherwise it does make the whole world blind. If confining to your room is not practical, then take a detour to the outdoors, the ambience can have a calming effect.
- Call a trusted friend
A friend in need is a friend in deed. That is the least friends can do; listen sympathise and give good advice.
- Indulge in happy things, recall happy moments, recall how much you love the person you are angry at.
After you have given the pillow the taste of your crackling anger, and have somewhat unwound yourself, think of the most happy moments and achievements in your life. Think of the good times spent together and the good things that have come into your life as a result of this person’s labors (in case the person has been close to you). To keep yourself from irreparable damage, imagine what your life will be without him or her or how much you and you loved ones will have to suffer in case you were responsible for serious damage of any kind. If you have discovered something which was disturbing, then do keep this in mind that what you may have heard can be incorrect, flaring up at mere hearsay is easy, investigate and dig deeper to authenticate. If you have seen something which you did not want to see, then be thankful that if it existed then you witnessed it; that this important piece of information will protect you from harm in times to come. This exercise is important to sustain the temporary cool down and to keep you from flaring up the next time you come face to face with the object of your fury.
And the last stage; Discuss things
Just fuming over matters will not solve any problems, it is pertinent to discuss the thorn in your side and hammer out a mutually beneficial solution. It is very important to confront the person when you are completely cool headed about what you may have heard or discovered, listen to the other side of the story and then make up your mind about what has to be done.