- Gender and Relationships
An Open Letter To Our Young Ladies
An Open Letter to Our Young Ladies
First just let me say…this is for all young ladies. I am speaking to all our precious, vibrant, intelligent young ladies. Yes, you are. I am speaking to you.
Dear Precious One,
I am writing this to you to let you know how much I love you and how much I truly want you to have the best in life. Now you may say…I don’t know this woman. But I know you. You are my daughters, my sisters, my nieces, cousins, my granddaughters. When I look into your eyes, and believe me, I see you in a lot of places I go. I see so much love you would like to share but have been hurt in the past, by people you thought you could trust, by the people that rightly should have not only loved, protected and respected you but for one reason or another was not capable nor wanted to be that person in your life but you kept hoping for the best.
Let me tell you that no matter what life has dropped into your life up to this point (yes today), you will and I repeat will achieve greatness in whatever you truly want to achieve in life. Don’t beat yourself up just because you’ve made mistakes in the past. Who haven’t made mistakes? From this point on, it’s in your past. Don’t ever let anyone steal your dreams. I don’t care if you’ve had children at an early age, done drugs, slept around with multiple partners. This is the day that you get up and look in the mirror. Now, really look in the mirror. No makeup. No soft lighting. No Spanxx. Go on, I know you can do it. I am not talking like the so-called celebrities taking selfies without makeup and thinking that it should be news that they “bared” it all and we should give them a pat on the back. I am talking how the majority of us function in society everyday “baring” it all.
Now when you are in front of the mirror, in my case, I occasionally pull out the old magnify mirror for a deep down soul searching (scary, but I do it). Yes, I may be considerably older than you but it has taken me almost five decades to get to this point. As I was saying, look at yourself in the mirror. Don’t focus entirely on whatever you consider to be your imperfections. Lord, if we all looked as what the “media social world” considered beautiful, truly we would all drop dead from boredom. Think about it. How much would you like it if everyone you met, all family members, saw on television/movies, etc had your face and body? Okay, okay, back to the mirror. Are you looking? Truly looking? Take about 15 minutes. Undisturbed 15 minutes. Now, grab a piece of paper. Go on. Find the paper. Now write down what you saw in the mirror. Don’t go back and take another peek. After you finish, turn the paper over. Now without looking at your list, write down on the back the things you would change about yourself. I will get back to list in a little while. I know you are probably thinking: This woman is crazy. I know I can be (not certifiable; well at least not yet) but let me tell you something. This letter to you would’ve never gotten written if I did not love you.
Let me tell you, from a complete stranger, that you matter. Do you hear me? You matter. Yes, YOU. When you think that that young boy (I am calling him a boy in these instances because he is definitely not a man) in your life talks down to you, have you in a long list of other females that he think he has to have in order to get his “player card”, thinks that to prove your love for him, you have to be his punching bag, be one of his baby mamas is all you can get, you cannot be more wrong. We as females, whether you are African American, Caucasian, Hispanic, Asian, rich, poor, etc. could achieve more if we stuck together. Just think about it. If females kept the so- called “girl code”, who/where would the men go if we refuse to take their “stuff”? “Stuff?” you may ask. Some of the stuff - If boys/men knew that while with “the love of their life” they could not nor would not be accepted by another female to get their “jollies” or if they knew if they even thought about going upside their lady’s head, someone may not make it out the room (could be him) or every occasion (whether you try to drop the charges or not- another issue up for discussion) would get them locked up with Bubba. (Apologies to all the men named Bubba)
Now back to the list. What did you write on the back? Well, let me give you my list for you. The list you should have on back of your paper. The list I have for you is…blank. That’s right. You should not have anything on your list. I want you as the precious young lady I know you are, to not change anything. I know you probably have on your list...need to lose/gain weight (unless health wise), need tan, lighten skin, nose job, lip (smaller, larger), hair etc. Remember your face/body is what makes you unique. Believe me, it is a process getting to the point of acceptance of the true you. By the way, the top of your list on the front page down the road (not far away) should be High Self-esteem.
Daily Points to remember as you go about your day:
- No matter how yesterday ended, you did wake up this morning. A lot people did not.
- You matter to the most important person on this earth….you.
- Spend at least thirty minutes pampering yourself.
- If you make a mistake; learn from that mistake.
As I close out this letter, let me leave you with a couple of thoughts. Do not let anyone and anything make you think less of yourself. Act, think and believe like the lady I know you are or can be and don’t let anyone steal your joy and dreams.
Truly Love you,
Your Mother, Sister, Aunt, Grandmother, Cousin
When out and about and you notice another young lady looking like they’re having a bad day, just smile, letting her know she is not alone. Sometimes that is all we need to help us get through a few minutes a day….Just A SMILE J