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An Unlikely Romance: An Older Woman's Story of Love With a Younger Man
40 and Counting
On the occasion of his 40th birthday, I thought it was high time I introduced my readers to Anthony, my best half. While his beard shows signs of gray and the hair on his head has seen more luxurious days, his countenance is one of perfection to this, still hopelessly enamored, older woman. Our 13 year difference in age has been troublesome to some at times, but to the two of us, it has meant little, if nothing. But it has been quite a ride for us, and I mean to share some small snippet of this fantastic story here intending to show that the 'impossible' is not always so.
OMG, Watch Em Fly!
A Preamble
One year after studying language and medical delivery systems at the University of the Pacific and in the People's Republic of China, I met and became engaged to a man in Southern California. He was an up and coming executive who worked with troubled youth in his community. My family couldn't have been happier with my choice, and we were to be married in Orange County's Crystal Cathedral. I arranged for doves to be released upon the completion of our vows-drama all around.
Looking back, I realize that this pending wedding had more to do with familial approval than personal desire, for I was not in love with the man. But, carried away by the grand plans, I continued to fool myself into thinking this was what I wanted, so all went according to plan-that is, until I met one of his 'charges.'
Enter Anthony...In a Sense
When I first laid eyes on Anthony, it was far from love at first sight. Here I was, a 33 year old engaged woman, he, a 16 year old kid with a stunning array of pimples on his still childlike face. My fiancé at the time was intent that this young boy and I get to know one another, since he prided himself on helping such wayward boys-my feminine perspective was what he wished for the child. I had rented a townhouse in Torrance, California, in preparation for the nuptials. My fiancé suggested that Anthony move into the spare bedroom since he had no home. And so, the boy moved in to my domicile, and we began to get to know one another.
Ahh, My True Love...
And So It Went...
I don't recall when it happened exactly, but I found myself falling in love with a boy. Now, close quarters can encourage the oddest of alliances, but in our case, it was something more. In retrospect, I see it as the perfect symbol of 'Camelot,' however at the time, it was both illegal and untoward for a woman my age to display love for such a young thing. We continued to grow as platonic friends as my engagement fell to pieces. My fiancé was nonplussed, and within a year, Anthony and I hoofed it to the California's Central Valley, where I became his legal guardian.
One More Year
We were the very best of friends, and I can't tell you how difficult it was to remain 'just pals.' He was 17 by then, and I am certain that his hormones were in overdrive. I must say that this was a true test of our friendship, and we managed to maintain a platonic relationship with one another. To some extent. Ours was an intensely insinuative relationship, full of teasing and play...
Our Wedding Picture
Finally!
...which remained that way until January 29, 1988, when Anthony and I married. He had been 18 just shy of 2 months, but it was time for the torture to end. And it did, indeed! Within a year, we became the proud parents of a little boy. Anthony and I were an oddly matched duo, often met with questioning looks, but lovers and parents nonetheless.
This Hub is not meant to encourage such age discrepancy. However, I hope to show that the most unlikely pairings can become successful relationships. We have been married now for 28 years, met with many obstacles, and yet are still the best of friends. My 'troubled youth' has become a successful and earnest man whose humor and love has kept our relationship thriving.
I write here, today, for my love.
Comments
What a nice story lorlie. You are so fortunate to have met your husband. True love does not relate to obstacles such as an age difference. My husband is 7 years my junior and we've been happily married for 30 years.
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How right you are, Green Lotus, and thanks for stopping by for a very lite read!
Hello my dear friend Laural, I am so proud of you for telling how it was.This was a real love, even though as you said forbidden, nonetheless real for you and for him, and you are very brave to share this Laural. I met my second husband Richard,7 years after I left Phillip, and I love him so much. Like you, we have had so many obstacles, too many to even mention, probably could write a book too. I have even been told that I should write a book about my life. Maybe we could do one together, wouldn't that be fun. Letting people know that just because it didn't work the first time, there is no reason to think that there still isn't someone waiting somewhere for us, just for us, and no other, and when the time is right, we will meet them, and we proved that, we waited, the right time came and we grabbed it with both hands, and both are still very happy ladies. Yeh girl, we should be giving ourselves a big pat on the back because of what we have achieved, even with what life has thrown at us, we have survived and still are surviving to tell our stories. Take care dear friend and we will talk soon God Bless you and the family BB
Lorlie6-
It's interesting reading this story-on the one hand ,the mother in me says'Now if that was my son'! and on the other hand the romantic in me says 'What a beautiful love story'!I'm going with the romantic on this one.
My mother was almost 9 years older than my father-and they were truly in love right to the end.
Well done to both of you-and many continued years of love'
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Beautybabe-It is truly a miracle of sorts that we even met! Thank you for your kind words, and I'll keep that book in mind.
itakins-I had the exact same feelings when raising our son...what if HE meets an older woman? Oh, my. I am very glad that you came by.
Well it worked out in the end, and now you are happy together. It sounds like a happy story to me.
Great story lorlie - the age gap is so common the other way and no-one thinks much about it. Good for you to have overcome those irrelevant issues and to have found love. I'm very happy for you.
I hope your marriage continues forever. And I see nothing wrong with the age gap. Nice story.
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travel-I know! It was so crazy-'reverse discrimination' and all. Thanks for reading.
floating mind-I do believe it will!
What a beautiful and romantic life you have had! Your man must be near perfect for you. Congratulations on having the good sense to think for yourself!
I'm torn. You like slightly younger men BUT you're already married. . .(sigh)
Great story. I'm glad you two found each other! I think I'll "introduce" my hubby to HP readers!
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VA-Well, I wouldn't say perfect...but he's amazing.
wsp2469-I blush. You're sweet.
habee-Go for it!
WE are now celebrating the "Cougar" revolution and when American Pie first introduced America to the MILF movement,
we were ready for women to take charge! We are so desensitised to the women teacher involved with the boy student, that it doesn't even rais ean eyebroe anymore.
I am glad you met your soulmate at an akward time and three cheers for the lasting relationship!
I feel a little better about my situation with a certain "Rayna H. Hurman" (who I wrote a hub about titled, "The Girl in the Avatar") after reading this. She and I are 14 years apart. She is in college and the two of us met last year while working together. At the time, the two could not be together due to her being with someone else. However, we spent a lot of time together after she and her then boyfriend broke up. Long story short, I had to move away, but the two of us keep in touch and sparks fly whenever we see each other.
I don't know about fate or destiny or love at first sight, but I do know how I feel about her. Thank you so much for sharing your story. All of us should be as lucky as you to have someone who cares so much about you, lorlie!
Dohn
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Mortgagestar1-Cougars rule!!!
dohn121-It is an amazing how two people can come together, I wish you both the very best.
WHAT A WONDERFUL LOVE STORY !!! I'm so happy for you !!!
cheers ! cheers ! cheers !!!! :)
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Thanks for stopping by, you gorgeous thing, you!
I enjoyed your love story. Even though my husband is only four years older than me - there is a whole world of difference because he is from a little tiny island and I was from a city. you may have read some of it in my hubs. There was also a lot of controversy in us marrying, but I wouldn't change it for anything.
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Indeed, elayne, I do understand. Differences can surely be overcome!!!
This is such a poignant story - and indeed age shouldn't be the obstacle it is. When people's souls mesh, it just is! Thank you for sharing some more of yourself with us, lorlie!
Wow, what a story. I'm so glad you two are still together and happy. My best friend is about 15 years younger than her husband and they have been together over 15 years.
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I guess after all is said and done, a difference in age makes the relationship all the more interesting!
What a compelling story. Thanks for sharing your Happily Ever After with us lorlie.
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Thanks for stopping by, rmcrayne!
Good read. Thank you for sharing from your heart.
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Ken, I appreciate your comment and wish you a wonderful holiday!
Very nicely written Laurel. Thank you so much for sharing. :)
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Thanks, Cagsil, I thank you for your comment, and I just realized I've been spelling your name wrong all along...my apologies!
Lovely story Lorlie :) You say it well. Maybe you could try talking to our friend Miss Tantrum for me ;) I have more often than not ended up with older women. My ex wife was 3yrs older than me, before that I was playing around with a woman 7 yrs my senior and before that I was with one 22 yrs my senior. After my ex wife I was seeing a 'girl' 19 years old. Younger women just don't work for me. Age is not really important. If you are happy, that is the main thing :)
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I see you have quite the pattern, BC, and it can work very well. I hope you find the love of your life as well!
Lovely story! ~ thanks for sharing
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My pleasure, brightforyou-our history has been pretty interesting!
Hmmm, sounds like a fairytale romance. Pretty awesome one too. Love the pictures and am gloating over his car in the garage. LOL Would I love to get a hold of that and do what I think he probably already did. Oooo you were very cute back then too, you two made a handsome couple and I am quite happy for you both. Long may you both prosper.
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Thanks, ralwus-the car is a part of the family now and rightly gets more attention than I. It's a 1966 British Austin Taxi, and getting to look like itself more every day.
Love ya!
This was a wonderful much needed reminder that there ARE still happy endings. I loved the bit about the glorious pimples...heheee How did hubby like that? :)
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He's cool with it! Neither of us can claim youth any longer, so on with being grown up!!!!
:) that's good.
Great Hub about your better half, love the car, thanks for your comments, hope you and anto are doing well, really love that car...can you post it over..
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I didn't get your question, irish. Would you email me instead?
Great hub about relationship. Above all you are a wonderful hubber lorlie6! May be you are lucky to have plenty of time.
Hi Lorlie... My name is Dennel. I LOVE YOUR STORY ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND!!!! I am a big believer in love, irrelevant of age. I know, sometimes, it is NOT appropriate (like when I was "molested" at the age of 11 by a man 20 years my senior), but the fact that I loved that man made a difference in my eyes. I almost married him when I was 19.
I hadn't thought about using Hubpages to tell my personal stories, but I think I will delve into that a little bit, thanks to you. I've done most of my writing in blogs on Facebook and such. Thanks for the inspiration. Your friend, Dennel
I think you have got a unique way to express yourself to others - and I wish you get a cathartic response within yourself...
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Dennel and Moulik-I am so glad that you stopped by!
What a nice love story. Age is just a number. You can't put a price on happiness can you. I am enjoying reading your stories they are very well written and full of raw emotion.
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Wow, Tammy-I really appreciate such words from a fine writer. Thanks for your input-it means alot!
I love this story! Finding love is so powerful, just embrace it and enjoy it!!! All my best to you.
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Ladybird, you are so very right!
Thanks so much for sharing your joy.
Good story, Lorie!
I haven't really heard anything like that before, but it was interesting.
You should follow me and read some of my hubs. I'm sure you'd enjoy them
What a remarkable story! I am so glad you and your husband have stuck it out and remain devoted and happy! Here's to 21 more years together!
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Donkey-I am now a rabid fan, and hope you find more of my Hubs interesting.
Cathi-You're a doll! Thanks for the wish for 21 more!!!!
well miss lorlie6~ my boyfriend is 10 years younger than me and my mom is married to a wonderful man who is 28 years younger than her.. i know love is unstoppable~ undeniable~
what a yummy story.. :)
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Let's hear it for older women!!!
Thanks, Trixie.
Hi Lorlie, I am truly amazed at your story. It is stories like this that makes people see "love" at a different angle. LOL to love and romance and friendship! :)
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Thank you, ripplemaker. Love is quite an extraordinary thing!
Hi Lorlie,
I really admire the openess and honesty of this personal hub. Thanks for pointing it out to me!
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Thanks for stopping by, Muktu-You're one of my personal heroes here on HP!
Very pretty. It's a lovely story. Congrats and-
May you live as long as you want,
And never want as long as you live!
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Thank you, Micky!
Congrats on finding your soul mate! I found mine too, and it was an odd love story. No age difference, but let's put it this way...met #4 while still with #3 and that was not an easy thing to deal with....anyway..been together for 10 years now...and could not be happier. Your age difference these days is nothing...and since women outlive men...you two are probably the same age!
:)
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I love your take on the age difference since we don't want much to do with the world after the other's gone! I'm very pleased to hear that you found your mate as well-I don't think it's ever uncomplicated!
Enjoyed your love story very much Lorie! It is indeed strange and nice phenomena. Whole world seems to say "No! don't do this" but heart is so strong it does not want to listen to any thing else. It is also of course needed that later one becomes equally responsible too to continue those sweet heart rythms for ever. Wish your family all the good luck.
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You are so sweet, soumyasrajan. I am blessed and proud to have this wonderful man in my life-despite the obstacles!
Thanks so much for stopping by!
Lovely and story - thanks for pointing me toward it. So glad it worked out in the end, and that the two of you remain happy. See...all things are possible! You've inspired me. :-)
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I'm so glad you came by to read this, Midtown Girl. It is true that anything can happen-We are living proof!
This is an amazing story! I have fallen now for someone a year younger than me and I feel way ahead of him! haha. but oh my goodness you give so much hope in this story, well done!! :)
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Thanks so much for the visit, Talitha87! Don't worry about one year at all...we've survived these 22 years beautifully-he' no kid to me now! :)
I love this story and thank you so much for telling it. I was married for 26 years to someone 18 years older than me and it was a disastrous marriage. Not because of the age difference but because we had absolutely nothing in common. When we met I was 17 years old with a lot of issues and he was a 34 year old woman beating alcoholic. What I'm trying to say is that when you find true love you hang on to it and it has nothing to do with age but with the people that we are. I am very lucky to have met my true love at last and I'm now having the fun I should have had all those years ago. Thank you for being so honest in your writing lorlie6 that's what makes you a great writer!
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Sweet Eiddwen-what a dear comment! Age difference can be disastrous or no issue at all. Your experience was horrible, and I can't imagine what you must have gone through.
The wondrous thing is that somehow, most of us do find our true loves at last but often at great cost. You poor dear, 17 years old and so very confused, I imagine. I hope sincerely that he did not hurt you.
Relish your love today-I know you must!-and remember that for some reason, that man in your past taught you what love was NOT!
Thanks so much for reading.
Lorlie , The power of love is an awesome thing , and comes from the strangest directions , If what we have works well ,then it is precious in itself! Good for you guys , stay well.
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You're so very right, ahorseback. We're still going strong. I'm glad you stopped by for a read!
I love reading love stories like yours, especially when they have a happy ending. The age difference only makes it a bit more interesting..I'm happy for you and I wish you 21 more wonderful years.
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Thanks, barby2kool! It's amazing, this wonderful love of mine...
Our secret? Humor! We tease each other mercilessly and keep one another in stitches...I thank you for coming by.
This was a joy to read! I enjoyed reading every bit... Very well written. Thankyou.
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Thanks jca, I really thank you for reading!
Lorlie, this was an awesome read..so beautiful. I like the fact that you say it, as it is.. you are an awesome woman.. I will tell you what has kept my truelove and me together .. a wish from an another.. she said .. " be sweet hearts for ever" I wish you now with the same wish..be sweet heart for ever!! God bless you!! sofs
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Hey sofs, I thank you for your comment. Be 'sweethearts for ever' seems to be the best advice ever! That's exactly how we treat one another!
Thanks again.
Great story Laurel, when you follow your heart, time is not. Congratulations on turning 21 together. =:)
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Thank you, Winsome! 22's not looking so bad, at that!
I appreciate the visit.
WOW Lorlie, that is so so similar to my story right now, it's incredible. A couple of different twists and turns, but very close! It is really wonderful to hear that it is truly possible. Thanks for giving an "old lady" hope! ha ha! Congratulations on a deeply beautiful, love filled journey!
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Thanks gr8ful! Thanks so much for coming by-I'm curious how our stories are similar!
Enjoy your life, I sure am.
Take care!
My husband is 12 years older- the onlytime it really shows is in music choice! i dont remember the 50's and early 60's like he does
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Age difference can be enlightening, no matter who is the eldest! Thanks, CASE1WORKER, for coming by!
Lorlie- A beautiful story with a happy ending. I love it. Age is overrated. Compatibility is what really makes things work. And of course, finding someone who keeps you laughing. Cougars rule!
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Ahh, Peg, you said it! Funny, just last night we bickered a bit, and my son panicked, thinking it was a huge fight. Anthony and I made up within 30 seconds!
We are incredibly compatible!
Thanks for the visit.
Great hub! It shows love has no barriers. I respect the two of you for making sure it was love and not lust before the two of you married. Good real life love story.
tweet it!
Beautiful hub story. I don't think that age really has anything to do with love. You were respectable to wait until he turned 18 before you married. You can't help who you fall in love with. I know many women who are 10-15 yrs older than their husband and as happy as can be. My hubby is 5 years younger than me, I was 22 and he was 17 when we met, didn't date or marry for 10 years as he waited for me to "come around"
Love your love story....
This is quite a story! Enjoyed it very much, and I have a lot of respect for the both of you.
I clicked your name and I realized that I was following you too! I must have begun following you for quite a while now, as it has only been recently that I've begun to leave comments after reading.
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We are still together, and wiser-I hope-and much more than happy, Charlotte!
I guess we're both followers that we had forgotten!
Take care now,
Laurel
Kind of sickened by this. And the responses.
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janesix-
What exactly do you mean? I'd be happy to discuss this in email form.
Every human being on this planet makes choices in life-I did and am not ashamed by the choice I made.
I would be fascinated to receive a note from you describing your point of view.
Beautiful story!
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