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Analyzing and Conceptualizing Jealousy

Updated on May 19, 2015

What is Jealousy?

Jealousy, as we all know it is to be distressed over the fortune of others. It’s a feeling of discontent because you personally feel someone has an advantage, feeling someone has a greater chance of success than you that will disallow (and I use disallow lightly) you to gain equal or greater chance to reach the same outcome. That’s the definition in basic terms. As a more complicated way of understanding jealousy, or as many know it to be as “The Green-Eyed Monster” is the irrational fear that you will lose something you feel you have due to an inability of performing as another who has the skill to obtain what they want. Now that I’ve given you a few definitions of jealousy, it’s time I start analyzing and breaking down why people feel jealous, how they rationalize and why they continue the cycle of feeling negative.

Jealousy in Society

Jealousy has affected many people; it has affected marriages, friendships, relationships and so on. There is certainly miscommunication happening, all because of one person feeling jealous. They make their problem another person’s problem because they can’t handle their own emotions. Jealousy happens whether it’s caused by monetary issues or a job status but it certainly happens because everyone is concerned with constantly wanting. A person wants to know how to achieve something and will usually resort to ill-intent to get it. The media has “trained” people how to feel infuriated by not getting what they want, because they do not believe in themselves to obtain what they want.

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Psychology of Jealousy During Childhood

Children, who constantly cry and fuss because they want everything when don’t get it is normal. However, when a grown adult is fussy about not getting what they want, when in fact they have the logic and reasoning to prove why they’re overreacting is a problem. Children at a young age cannot comprehend why they cannot have something; it is beyond their way of thinking if at all – babies especially. Children who crave immediate pleasure and gratification don’t understand why while adults should. So why do adults still behave childish? Why can’t some overcome the impulsive instinct to be unhappy and change that jealous mentality? I think it’s a self-esteem issue.

The Main Goal To 'Curing' Jealousy

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Jealousy in Adulthood

Remember when I said, “disallow” in the introduction? Well, it’s in fact true. Someone jealous stops themselves from not being jealous because they’re so concerned with not having something it’s more worrisome than to try to problem solve. That’s the mentality of the weak-minded; the one who lacks self-control. When people say, “patience is a virtue” they’re right because everyone does not have the same abilities as everyone else, but that shouldn’t be a deterrent, it should be a motivator. Realizing that you can know you can obtain things differently is a blessing in disguise. With the power of will, you can alter your mindset to strive to want things not by jealousy, but by confidence. Confidence to know you can get what you like by hard work and focus. Confidence doesn’t just happen though…it takes practice to develop, just like anything else including not being constantly jealous. Confidence comes from an understanding of self; a strength of wanting a more, fuller self-happiness. So when there is jealousy or self-doubt, there is a self-esteem and insecurity issue. No one wants that, so why is it so difficult to control that part of yourself? If it hurts to be jealous, why feel it? Ignorance: Not knowing what else to do in order to achieve your goals except sulk, complain and pity yourself. But I’m here to tell you that part of yourself is over!

Your Main Goal

You should know that pain will not bring happiness and neither will ignorance, therefore you will see that just being happy for others good-fortune and hard work will increase your happiness and better your character. You cannot be a better person if you have a hard time accepting things that are normal. Everyone around you will always have less or more than you, doesn’t mean you should boast or mope about it. You also don’t supress any feelings because then, those feelings of being happy for another person is insincere and not genuine feelings and anything that is supressed will eventually burst and explode into a rage of emotions. You don’t want that. Be proud of your accomplishments and look to further them by proving to you that jealousy is a mentality; a barrier, a blockade to prevent you from seeing what you can really become. Accept that you have faults and then trust yourself to fix those faults in order to succeed and be at peace with your mind.

Beware Of The Green-Eyed Monster!

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Conclusion

All in all, it's important to be aware and realize when you are about to act or feel jealous. Take the time to understand your strengths and weaknesses, be accepting of others' strengths and weaknesses and progress! There should be no harm in feeling happy for another who has achieved what you have yet to achieve! I mean, if you really want it, you won't complain that you don't have it, you'll go out and work to have what they have achieved. At face value, they are happy and that's what you are envious about. You don't understand completely how they feel until you have earned and gotten what they have. That's why it's up you to adapt your mindset to want to be more successful to achieve the goals that others have before you. Don't be jealous anymore - from the wise words by Nike, "just do it."

-Phil

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    • Phil Perez profile imageAUTHOR

      Phil Perez 

      3 years ago

      Yes, I completely agree, dashingscorpio, immaturity is akin to jealousy!

      Also, I can relate because my twin sister and I - when we have birthdays together receive gifts and my brother always HAS to receive a gift as well because of the potential jealousy that can arise from him. Unfortunately, this doesn't happen to us when it's his birthday... haha.

      That's another example. I received a sports award when I was in high school (for basketball) when it was obvious I didn't earn it as much as my other teammate who worked hard and performed better to receive the award, but didn't. He showed so much resentment and jealousy and of course, immaturity.

      Yeah, with a society with strong influences on people's lives, it's no wonder people tend to be jealous when they don't receive what they are deserved.

      That's true, jealousy does offer a sense of drive...however, there are definitely "healthier" ways to be driven towards a goal than competing with someone who already has what you want. The drive should be that you want to achieve something - not because someone else has what you do not, but because you feel and understand that it'll make you a better person. It should never be for selfish reasons.

      Thanks for the informative comment !

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      3 years ago

      I believe jealousy and immaturity tend to go hand in hand.

      As you mentioned with children who want everything another child has. Oftentimes adults pro-long this in children when they insist upon buying gifts for all the children in the household to open up when in fact only one of them is actually having a birthday!

      There are also some children sports leagues that give every child a trophy whether they won or lost. This too instills the belief that all people get equal treatment regardless of effort and performance.

      Is it any wonder a child raised in that environment may have trouble adjusting to being put on the sidelines while another person basks in the limelight of glory?

      On the other hand sometimes jealousy sparks a healthy rivalry which can elevate one's performance by encouraging them to work harder. However its the negative forms of jealousy that most offends us as in when Nancy Kerrigan Olympic figure skater was attacked during the Olympics by her rival Tonya Harding's husband.

      Envy sometimes has positive feel to it for the "winner" or special one.

      "Her intelligence made her the envy of her classmates."

      Clearly in the above statement no (ill will) is wished upon the smart girl. They simply wish they could be in her shoes.

      Jealousy on the other hand is usually viewed as a negative along the lines of hate or passionate dislike of the individual .

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