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Anatomy of a Cheater

Updated on May 14, 2019

Who is a Cheater?

According to different dictionaries, a cheater is a person who acts dishonestly by violating rules and uses clever means to his own advantage and for something he values. Dishonesty can be traced back from the first day he was able to get away with cheating and felt so high escaping his victims. From here the succeeding cases of cheating follows for further highs in getting what he wants and enjoying the pleasure

Birds have the habit of messing around while in a social relationship with a specific bird. Female birds are usually on the lookout for a better mate for enhanced genes such as exceptional plumage and long tail.
Birds have the habit of messing around while in a social relationship with a specific bird. Female birds are usually on the lookout for a better mate for enhanced genes such as exceptional plumage and long tail.

Factors that Contribute in Becoming a Cheater

For so many people cheating is as bad as we hear and see it on TV or in the internet. There are so many factors that constitute a cheater. Some of these are the following:

1. It’s in their genes. As they say, ‘an apple doesn’t fall far from the tree’, meaning a child has a tendency to cheat if his parents or a parent has cheated.

2. Personality learned behavior from role models.Sometimes the personality traits are transferred from a parent to a child. Misguided values seen from adults not explained or enlightened are brought up until they become adults that lead to cheating in relationships.

3. Narcissistic propensity. A cheater may cheat because of his selfish needs for flattery, attention and the insensitivity to the needs and feelings of others affected by his actions. Most of the narcissist has inflated ego and bloated self-entitlement especially for his sexual prowess. He may lure his victims into a relationship to emotionally abuse them, use them and suck them dry after.

4. They love living at the edge. Meaning they love the excitement of cheating and being caught. This is brought by their uncontrollable tendencies to cheat.

5. Work-related cheating. According to some reasearch, some jobs contribute to cheating. It is because of long hours and stressful work. Some of theses works are in medical, education and business fields.

6.In biology, it says that a person with lower oxytocin and vasopressin in the brain has the higher tendency to cheat. An experiment was conducted to small rodents called voles. A male prairie voles was injected vasopressin directly into his brain and it generated pair bonding. However, the montane voles have their vasopressin far fron the brain’s reward center which suppresses the activity of the hormone. In turn, these montane voles become promiscuous. In short, prairie voles develop attachment after sex while montane voles felt no attachment after sex. Thus, cheating is easy for montane voles.

7. Fear of Commitment. The person who has phobia of commitment usually experiences physical and mental stress when a relationship becomes serious. Cheating is the option to avoid heightened emotional intimacy.

8. He has cheated before. An experienced cheater has the higher chance to cheat the next time because he has perfected the reasons to cheat and to justify his infidelity. He has desensitized after cheating for so many times.

9. Boredom. After the excitement of a new relationship, the zest wears off, the reality sets in and boredom strikes. Instead of putting new passion or to revive the lost attraction, the relationship stays in a rut. Sex becomes comfortable and monotonous and he feels trapped in a too consistent life. To reignite the fire within he will choose to cheat by flirting at the beginning to doing sexual infidelity in the end.

10. Partners are doing separate activities most of the time. It is not far from the truth that the more the couple do their activities separately the more they are prone to cheating and eventually, separation.



Reasons for Cheating Between Humans and Animals

Humans and animals have different reasons for cheating. The humans usually cheat when the opportunity presented itself to a man or a woman decided to move on. Animals do it indiscriminately or for better offspring.
Humans and animals have different reasons for cheating. The humans usually cheat when the opportunity presented itself to a man or a woman decided to move on. Animals do it indiscriminately or for better offspring.

Effects of Cheating

Cheating in a relationship is a big NO NO especially if the couple decided to have a monogamous relationship. The problem is not as big if they are in an open relationship. Although being married is one of the reasons to be monogamous, still some couples separate because of cheating in either side or both. Guilt is a big factor that may salvage a relationship. Through confession of guilt, the aggrieved party may forgive and will try to give a relationship a chance. However, there are cases that the guilty partner is not conscientious enough to admit guilt but will justify action by blaming his partner for his misdeeds.

If after long deliberation on how to save the relationship, the couple may decide to work it out but with a compromise for both sides especially from the guilty one. Although the healing of a damaged relationship may take awhile, some couples will really work hard for the recovery of partnership. The cheater may take the full responsibility for the betrayal and may do this by understanding the difficulties he may encounter and patience for his partner as they go through the mending of their relationship.

On the other hand, some couples will not try to really work on their relationships anymore especially if they feel that there is no love and respect anymore. The partners may decide to end it or if the only one sees no future for the both of them because of the gravity of the situation. Sometimes separation can both give them peace of mind that they cannot find together. Some people even discover new things about themselves alone and not together. The best thing is that they can find partners suited for the both of them for the betterment of their separate lives.

Cheating may sound and look so bad in the outside, but there are things that will come out of it, too, after the bad experiences about it. Probably, the moral that we need to realize is simply to learn that both sexes cheat. The only difference is the motivation and result for both the cheater and the victim. Women will cheat because they are emotionally deprived and men are sexually deprived. The consequence will depend on how they will solve the problem or end it eventually.

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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      10 months ago from Chicago

      Very informative!

      The goal of most cheaters is to (hold onto) all that is "good" in their primary relationship while addressing their other "needs" on the side. Most cheaters have no desire to (replace) one relationship with another. It's about having MORE.

      They want to add to or complement what they already have.

      Having said that there are three basic types of cheaters

      1. The Incessant/Serial Cheater

      This person gets bored very easily and seeks the thrill that comes with being with someone (new). There is nothing you can do to make yourself "new". Monogamy for them is equivalent to going on a strict diet. It's not a matter of (if) but (when) they will cheat.

      Their motto is: "Variety is the spice of life!"

      2. The Unbelievable Opportunity Cheater

      This person is not proactively looking to cheat. They may have a secret crush on someone or find themselves in a position with someone they consider to be drop dead gorgeous who hits on them or flirts indicating they could turn a fantasy into a reality.

      They cave in to temptation. It's a momentary selfish lapse in judgement which they may come to regret afterwards. In fact this type of cheater has been known to confess weeks, months, or years later with the hope of removing the guilt off of their shoulders.

      3. The Discontented Cheater

      This person blames you!

      If you had not did or stopped doing whatever they would have never stepped outside of the relationship. Some betrayed people accept this belief because they believe if it is (their fault) they can do something to prevent it from happening again.

      The truth of the matter is both monogamy and cheating are (choices) the individual makes!

      The only person you can control is yourself.

      Cheating isn't an automatic "deal breaker" for everyone. Some people have never had much interest in sex and if their partner is discreet they can live their "side activities".

      Only you know what is right for (you).

      Life is too short to be trying to change water into wine.

      The goal is to find someone who {already is} what you want.

      There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships. You either get what you want or you learn to be happy with what you have. Accept them (as is) or move on.

      The choice is up to you. Suffering is optional.

      "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."

      - Oscar Wilde

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