Anatomy of a Cheater
Who is a Cheater?
According to different dictionaries, a cheater is a person who acts dishonestly by violating rules and uses clever means to his own advantage and for something he values. Dishonesty can be traced back from the first day he was able to get away with cheating and felt so high escaping his victims. From here the succeeding cases of cheating follows for further highs in getting what he wants and enjoying the pleasure
Factors that Contribute in Becoming a Cheater
For so many people cheating is as bad as we hear and see it on TV or in the internet. There are so many factors that constitute a cheater. Some of these are the following:
1. It’s in their genes. As they say, ‘an apple doesn’t fall far from the tree’, meaning a child has a tendency to cheat if his parents or a parent has cheated.
2. Personality learned behavior from role models.Sometimes the personality traits are transferred from a parent to a child. Misguided values seen from adults not explained or enlightened are brought up until they become adults that lead to cheating in relationships.
3. Narcissistic propensity. A cheater may cheat because of his selfish needs for flattery, attention and the insensitivity to the needs and feelings of others affected by his actions. Most of the narcissist has inflated ego and bloated self-entitlement especially for his sexual prowess. He may lure his victims into a relationship to emotionally abuse them, use them and suck them dry after.
4. They love living at the edge. Meaning they love the excitement of cheating and being caught. This is brought by their uncontrollable tendencies to cheat.
5. Work-related cheating. According to some reasearch, some jobs contribute to cheating. It is because of long hours and stressful work. Some of theses works are in medical, education and business fields.
6.In biology, it says that a person with lower oxytocin and vasopressin in the brain has the higher tendency to cheat. An experiment was conducted to small rodents called voles. A male prairie voles was injected vasopressin directly into his brain and it generated pair bonding. However, the montane voles have their vasopressin far fron the brain’s reward center which suppresses the activity of the hormone. In turn, these montane voles become promiscuous. In short, prairie voles develop attachment after sex while montane voles felt no attachment after sex. Thus, cheating is easy for montane voles.
7. Fear of Commitment. The person who has phobia of commitment usually experiences physical and mental stress when a relationship becomes serious. Cheating is the option to avoid heightened emotional intimacy.
8. He has cheated before. An experienced cheater has the higher chance to cheat the next time because he has perfected the reasons to cheat and to justify his infidelity. He has desensitized after cheating for so many times.
9. Boredom. After the excitement of a new relationship, the zest wears off, the reality sets in and boredom strikes. Instead of putting new passion or to revive the lost attraction, the relationship stays in a rut. Sex becomes comfortable and monotonous and he feels trapped in a too consistent life. To reignite the fire within he will choose to cheat by flirting at the beginning to doing sexual infidelity in the end.
10. Partners are doing separate activities most of the time. It is not far from the truth that the more the couple do their activities separately the more they are prone to cheating and eventually, separation.
Reasons for Cheating Between Humans and Animals
Effects of Cheating
Cheating in a relationship is a big NO NO especially if the couple decided to have a monogamous relationship. The problem is not as big if they are in an open relationship. Although being married is one of the reasons to be monogamous, still some couples separate because of cheating in either side or both. Guilt is a big factor that may salvage a relationship. Through confession of guilt, the aggrieved party may forgive and will try to give a relationship a chance. However, there are cases that the guilty partner is not conscientious enough to admit guilt but will justify action by blaming his partner for his misdeeds.
If after long deliberation on how to save the relationship, the couple may decide to work it out but with a compromise for both sides especially from the guilty one. Although the healing of a damaged relationship may take awhile, some couples will really work hard for the recovery of partnership. The cheater may take the full responsibility for the betrayal and may do this by understanding the difficulties he may encounter and patience for his partner as they go through the mending of their relationship.
On the other hand, some couples will not try to really work on their relationships anymore especially if they feel that there is no love and respect anymore. The partners may decide to end it or if the only one sees no future for the both of them because of the gravity of the situation. Sometimes separation can both give them peace of mind that they cannot find together. Some people even discover new things about themselves alone and not together. The best thing is that they can find partners suited for the both of them for the betterment of their separate lives.
Cheating may sound and look so bad in the outside, but there are things that will come out of it, too, after the bad experiences about it. Probably, the moral that we need to realize is simply to learn that both sexes cheat. The only difference is the motivation and result for both the cheater and the victim. Women will cheat because they are emotionally deprived and men are sexually deprived. The consequence will depend on how they will solve the problem or end it eventually.